jii :  >  ■>  y^ 


PERKINS  LIBRARY 

Uuke    University 


Kare  l5ooks 


'^< 


'^^ 


t^fh 


kSEL 


Digitized  by  tine  Internet  Arciiive 
in  2010  witii  funding  from 
Duke  University  Libraries 


littp://www.arcliive.org/details/inquirendoislandOOroew 


INQUIRENDO     ISLAND 


BY 


HUDOR   GENONE 


NEW    YORK : 

TWENTIETH  CENTURY  PUBLISHING  CO. 

1890 


Copyright 

By  G.  p.  Putnam's  Son:. 

i88s 


PREFACE. 


The  following  pages  contain  certain  things  which, 
unless  considered  in  connection  with  the  whole  narrative, 
may  possibly  be  misinterpreted,  and  I  will  especially  ask 
my  readers  not  to  overlook  the  concluding  chapter  which 
I  have  called  my  Postface. 

While  the  story  may  be  termed  a  satire,  it  will,  I  trust, 
not  be  found  wanting  in  a  spirit  of  full  reverence  for  the 
essential  truths  of  God's  universe. 

Between  the  pestilential  marshes  of  superstition  and  the 
cold  glaciers  of  reason,  lies  the  fertile  table-land  of  com- 
mon sense,  and  it  is  there  I  h^e  endeavored  to  take  my 
stand; 


CONTENTS. 


CHAP.  PAGE 

I.  The  Wreck  of  the  Speedwell. i 

II.  A  Discourteous  Reception 9 

III.  Mr.  Nudwink's  Serious  Conversation 19 

IV.  The  Girl  of  the  Garden 31 

V.  In  the  Alcove 39 

VI.  The  Convalescent  Court ....  48 

VII.  Gallw^ood's  Enmity  is  Manifested 58 

VIII.  On  the  Course  of  Discipline 68 

IX.  Some  Necessary  Statistics 78 

X.  The  Greatest  Common  Divisor 87 

XI.  Oliver  Imparts  Information 99 

XII.  Church  of  the  Least  Common  Multiple 108 

XIII.  I  Refuse  to  Partake  of  Parsnips 117 

XIV.  Gallwood's  Promised  Wife 125 

XV.  His  Text  was  Taken  from  the  First  Ground 

Rule 137 

XVI.  I  am  Engaged  to  be  Married 146 

XVII.  Gallwood's  Little  Supper 1 56 

XVIII.  Gallwood  Smiled  Again 168 

XIX.  My  Faith-cure 182 

XX.  How  Wonderful  ARE  Love's  Sweet  Influences.  195 

XXI.  The  Science  of  Numbers 205 

XXII.  Trouble  in  Earnest 217 

XXIII.  He  Insisted  that  I  Belonged  to  a  Highly  Re- 

spectable Family 226 

XXIV.  Inconsistency  and  Contumacy 236 

XXV.  Some  Testimony  for  the  Prosecution 245 

XXVI.  More  Testimony 259 

XXVir.  "To  the  Unknown  God." 272 

XXVIII.  The  Revised  Version 2S6 

V 


VI  CONTENTS. 

CHAP.  HAGE 

XXIX.  My  Own  Funer.\l 296 

XXX.  An  Approi'kiate  Occasion 308 

XXXI.  Some  Details  in  Respect  to  .my  Coffin 31S 

XXXII.  "  Into  the  World  at  Liberty  again." 334 

rUSTFACE . , 342 


INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 


CHAPTER   I. 

THE    WRECK    OF    THE    SPEEDWELL. 

TT  was  quite  early  in  the  morning  that  I  set  out  alone 
-*■  from  Far  Rockaway  in  one  of  my  father's  pleasure 
boats.  The  wind  being  fair  and  not  too  brisk,  I  ventured 
to  steer  out  through  the  inlet  upon  the  open  sea.  1 
tacked  about  all  day  along  the  coast,  trolling  for  blue-fish, 
and  about  noon,  happening  to  strike  a  school  of  Spanish 
mackerel,  I  delayed  my  return  until  almost  nightfall. 

At  last,  long  after  sunset,  the  head  of  the  Speedwell  was 
turned  towards  the  land  ;  but  a  fog  had  come  rolling  in 
from  the  east,  and  the  shore  was  wholly  hidden  from  view. 
There  was  no  compass  on  board,  and  stars  and  moon  were 
hidden  overhead.  With  all  the  judgment  I  possessed,  the 
course  was  kept  in  that  direction  in  which  the  inlet  was 
supposed  to  lie.  An  hour  passed,  and  then  the  breeze, 
which  had  held  fair,  began  to  die  out.  The  fog  became 
denser  and  denser,  and  the  wind  at  last  failed  altogether. 

I  became  alarmed.  It  grew  darker  and  darker,  and  the 
palpable  mi-st  wrapped  itself  about  me,  cold,  and  clamm}', 
and  comfortless,  although  the  night  was  in  June,  and  the 
day  had  been  warm.  The  boat  was  an  open  one,  and  I 
was  soon  wet  through.  At  least  two  hours  must  have 
passed  during  which  the  Spceihvell  lay  like  a  log  on   the 

I 


2  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

ocean,  rolling  gently  as  the  lazy  waves  rose  and  fell,  the 
sail  flapping,  and  the  mast  and  rudder  creaking.  Then 
with  the  lifting  of  the  fog  the  wind  freshened.  1  thoughi. 
with  joy  that  I  should  now  probably  be  able  to  see  the 
stars,  and  by  their  aid  steer  for  home.  But  the  fog  only 
lifted  from  off  the  sea  to  hang  in  the  shape  of  a  dense 
cloud  between  the  friendly  stars  and  me,  and  the  wind 
rising  rapidly,  threw  the  sea  into  so  great  a  turmoil  that, 
even  had  I  known  the  course  towards  the  inlet,  there  was 
no  safety  except  in  keeping  the  boat's  head  to  windward. 
So,  cold,  wet,  sleepy,  and  comfortless,  I  was  forced  to 
keep  the  tiller  all  that  unhappy  night.  The  morning 
broke  at  last.  I  scanned  the  horizon  in  every  direction, 
but  all  around  was  nothing  but  a  waste  of  savage  waters, 
and  the  wind  all  the  time  due  west.  I  knew  now  that 
every  moment  I  was  leaving  home  further  and  further 
behind.  Still  I  did  not  despair,  for  upon  my  course 
lay  the  track  of  the  many  steamships  that  cross  the  Atlan- 
tic. After  the  second  nightfall  the  wind  again  went 
down  ;  but  the  clouds  continued  to  hang  low,  and  worn 
out,  I  clung  to  the  tiller  for  all  the  weary  hours  of  the 
daylight.  With  painful  eagerness  my  eyes  rested  upon 
the  misty  horizon  ;  but  the  night  folded  itself  again  about 
me,  and  not  a  sail  was  seen.  Still  all  through  the  dark, 
the  wind  held  west,  and  the  waves  angrily  heaved  onward 
my  little  craft.  I  clung  despairingly  to  the  helm,  and 
again  the  morning  broke.  Another  day  passed  and 
another  night.  Sleep  I  could  not  while  the  wind  was 
high.  There  was  a  sufficient  supply  of  water  in  the 
locker,  but  a  few  crusts  of  bread  were  all  that  was  left  of 
the  lunch  that  had  been  provided.  These  I  ate  raven- 
ously, and  then  from  time  to  time  cast  longing  glances  at 
the  fish  that  I  had  caught.     Famished,  I  at  last  was  driven 


THE    WRECK    OF    THE    SPEEDWELL,  3 

to  the  extremity  of  thus  satisfying  my  hunger.  This  was 
on  the  fourth  day  when  the  winds  had  died  out,  and  a  great 
cahn  had  overspread  the  sea.  Then,  too,  it  was  that  I 
could  sleep,  waking  at  frequent  intervals  in  hope  of 
rescue  ;  but  the  sun  beat  pitilessly  down,  the  Speedwell 
drifted  eastward,  and  far  and  near  no  sail.  The  sixth 
night  fell  in  clouds  and  darkness ;  again  the  waters  rose, 
and  the  wind,  always  from  the  west,  blew  fast  and  furious. 

Another  night  of  terror  and  despair,  the  angry  ocean 
gnashing  its  white  teeth  of  foam  astern,  and  all  else  dark. 

Driving  through  the  night,  gripping  the  rudder,  sud- 
denly I  heard  through  the  gloom  the  sound  of  surf  break- 
ing ahead.  But  as  yet  there  was  no  sign  of  land,  and 
while  trembling  with  apprehension,  the  sound  of  the 
breakers  grew  nearer  and  nearer,  and  in  an  instant  the 
boat,  plunging  forward,  struck  upon  a  sunken  ledge  of 
rock,  over  which  the  sea  dashed  with  great  fury. 

My  expertness  as  a  swimmer  was  of  little  avail  in  those 
savage  surges.  Stabbed  and  mangled  by  the  thrusts  of 
the  keen  ledge,  the  poor  boat  sank  gurgling  to  its  death, 
while  the  same  monster  wave,  having  perfidiously  betrayed 
my  companion,  cast  me,  gasping  and  stunned,  upon  a 
sloping  beach  beyond.  There  I  lay,  just  beyond  the 
waters,  till  my  strength  returned.  I  staggered  to  my  feet. 
The  dawn  was  just  breaking;  the  fog  was  lifting;  the 
wind  was  lowering.  By  the  dim  light  I  saw  above  me 
a  towering  precipice  of  granite,  and  on  the  shore,  here 
and  there,  interspersed  with  narrow  patciies  of  mud,  jag- 
ged swords  of  rock,  and  farther  out,  rising  up  through 
the  foaming  billows,  merciless  nature  held  aloft  her 
sharp  dirks  in  bared  brown  hands. 

With  them  she  had  stabbed  my  Speedwell.  It  happens 
often  to  men  that  when  the  brain  is  dullest  the  soul  is 


4  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

most  thoughtful  ;  or  perhaps  'tis  then  that,  pitying  our 
weakness,  our  guardian  angel  thinks  for  us.  Whether  it 
was  I  or  my  angel  that  thought,  the  idea  came  to  me 
thus,  cold  and  wet  and  miserable  as  I  was,  how  nature 
continually  is  at  war  with  itself.  Brooding  over  this 
thought  I  dragged  myself  wearily  along  the  sands,  seeking 
some  way  of  ascent  in  the  line  of  precipitous  rocks  above 
me.  It  was  some  time  before  I  was  successful  in  discov- 
ering a  way,  and  when  at  last  an  opening  was  found,  and 
by  dint  of  rough  climbing  I  mounted  upward,  the  effort 
so  exhausted  me  that  I  sank  down  upon  the  soft  short 
grass  that  covered  the  ledge,  and  with  the  sun  shining 
brightly,  fell  asleep. 

It  was  noon  wheml  awoke.  I  was  stiff  and  sore,  but 
the  sleep  had  refreshed  me,  and  had,  moreover,  dried  my 
sodden  clothes.  I  got  up,  and  walked  about  vigorously. 
I  had  lost  my  hat,  but  this  I  did  not  regard  as  important. 
My  fatigue  over,  curiosity  naturally  asserted  itself.  Where 
was  I }  What  land  was  it  upon  w'hich  I  stood  }  My  first 
thought  was  that  it  was  one  of  the  Bermuda  Islands,  and 
yet  on  reflection  I  knew  that  this  could  not  be.  Accord- 
ing to  the  best  calculation  I  could  make,  having  due  re- 
gard to  the  fact  that  I  had  merely  drifted  with  the  wind, 
the  Speedwell  must  have  averaged  over  five  knots  an 
hour.  The  island  was  therefore  at  least  seven  hundred 
miles  from  the  coast.  As  I  gazed  about  me  it  may  be  im- 
agined with  some  considerable  astonishment,  I  perceived 
that  where  I  was  appeared  to  be  the  highest  land  in  any 
direction.  There  was  a  slight  mist  that  bounded  the 
view  at  a  distance  of  perhaps  half  a  mile  ;  but  the  mist 
lay  like  a  fleecy  veil  along  the  ground,  while  overhead  it 
was  perfectly  cloudless.  Had  there  been  mountains  or 
any  considerable  elevation  they  would  have  been  plainly 


THE    WRECK    OF    THE    SPEEDWELL.  5 

visible.  I  went  to  the  edge  of  the  cliff  and  looked  down  : 
except  in  the  spot  by  which  I  had  ascended,  and  in  one 
or  two  other  places  north  and  south,  where  gaps  and  fis- 
sures appeared,  the  rock  was  a  perpendicular  wall.  With 
my  returning  strength  came  appetite.  I  had  eaten  noth- 
ing since  the  day  before,  and  then  only  the  stale  fish,  from 
which  I  now  revolted  with  a  great  loathing.  I  was  as  yet 
in  doubt  whether  or  not  the  island  was  inhabited  ;  but  I 
felt  assured  that,  if  inhabitants  there  were,  they  must  be 
civilized,  and  therefore  friendly ;  so  I  set  out  on  my  way 
inland  without  any  special  apprehension  of  any  kind. 
The  mist  gradually  lifted,  and  the  prospect  widened. 
The  turf  upon  which  I  trod  was  soft,  and  the  grass  such 
as  one  sees  upon  a  well-kept  lawn,  interspersed  with  the 
blossoms  of  white  clover.  At  a  distance  a  number  of  dun- 
colored  and  tawny  cows  were  grazing,  and  a  few  birds, — 
orioles,  sparrows,  and  thrushes, — flew  about  at  the  verge  of 
the  bluff.  There  was  not  a  tree  in  sight,  nor  a  bush,  and 
no  signs  of  vegetation  of  any  sort,  except  the  short  mat  of 
grass  and  clover.  The  sight  of  the  cows  revived  my 
spirits,  convincing  me  that  the  land  upon  which  evil  for- 
tune had  cast  me  was  by  no  means  desolate.  Then,  too, 
I  was  thirsty,  and  forthwith  began  casting  about  to  pro- 
cure a  drink  of  milk  from  one  of  my  friends  the  cows. 
The  idea  was  an  excellent  one  ;  but  like  many  other  no- 
ble conceptions  of  the  human  mind,  quite  valueless  until 
put  into  actual  operation.  In  this  case  it  was  all  theory 
and  no  practice,  for  the  cattle  were  shy,  and  would  not 
suffer  me  to  approach.  Having  lost  my  hat  in  the  sea, 
my  only  resource  in  the  way  of  a  milk  pail  was  my  leather 
wallet,  a  birthday  gift  from  my  mother. 

However,  not  that  it  mattered  much.     If  I  had  possessed 
the  best  milk  pail  in  the  world  it  would  have  been  all  the 


6  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

same  ;  the  cows  were  shy,  and  although  I  chased  one 
or  two  till  tired  out,  I  could  not  get  near  them.  I  solaced 
myself  with  the  reflection  that  the  smartest  man  living 
cannot  milk  a  cow  at  a  distance  ;  and  while  I  was  walk- 
ing on,  meditating,  I  almost  stumbled  over  the  figure  of  a 
man  lying  at  full  length  upon  the  grass.  He  got  upon 
his  feet  directly  when  he  perceived  me  and  stared  in 
mute  astonishment. 

He  had  an  air  that  appeared  to  me  to  be  foreign.  I 
could  not  tell,  however,  by  his  gait  or  his  appearance,  to 
what  nationality  he  belonged  ;  so  I  resolved  to  try  a  few 
European  languages,  of  which  fortunately  I  possessed  a 
smattering. 

"  Comment  s'appelle  ce  pays  ci  ?  "  I  enquired,  trying  to 
infuse  into  my  voice  at  least  as  much  suavity  as  his 
stony  stare  invited. 

He  stared  at  me  in  gruff  silence. 

"  Come  si  chiama  questa  isola  .''  " 

He  grunted,  but  still  said  nothing. 

"  2Ba§ — "  I  began,  making  another  attempt.  Then  he 
found  his  voice. 

"  Shut  up,  ye  blamed  fool  ! "  said  he  in  unmistakable 
English,  which  had  in  it  a  burr  that  sounded  even  a  trifle 
Milesian.     "What  ye  mane  onyvvay  wid  yer  gibberish  ? " 

I  need  not  say  that  I  was  delighted  ;  not  so  much  at 
the  strange  being's  rudeness,  as  at  the  very  strong  evi- 
dence his  speech  gave  me  that  we  should  have  little  dif- 
ficulty, so  far  as  language  went,  in  becoming  better  ac- 
quainted. In  my  pleasure  at  hearing  the  sound  of  his 
voice  I  smiled,  and  would  have  spoken,  but  the  man 
broke  in  : 

"  Come,  now  ;  be  aff  out  o'  this." 


THE   WRECK    OF    THE   SPEEDWELL.  7 

"  Won't  you  be  kind  enough  to  tell  me  the  name  of  this 
place  ?  "  I  said,  polite  for  two. 

"  Be  aff  out  of  this,"  he  repeated,  at  the  same  time 
pointing  very  emphatically  across  the  field.  Instinct- 
ively I  looked  in  the  direction  his  fat,  horny  hand  indi- 
cated; and,  walking  leisurely  towards  us,  I  saw  another 
individual,  who — so  far  as  the  distance  enabled  me  to 
judge — appeared  to  be  of  the  -same  species  as  the  first. 

I  waited  no  longer,  but  assured  that  it  was  better  to  fly  to 
an  ill  I  knew  not  of  than  to  bear  the  one  I  had,  I  walked 
rapidly  away,  instigated  to  this  course  by  further  impera- 
tive summons  to  "  be  afif." 

On  approaching  the  new  stranger  I  discovered  that 
although  he  was  undoubtedly  of  the  same  species  as  the 
first  I  had  met,  yet  he  evidently  belonged  to  quite  a  dis- 
tinct variety.  In  short,  I  detected  in  his  gait  and  car- 
riage, and  in  the  expression  of  his  face,  that  peculiar  sign 
of  gentlehood  which  no  garb  can  hide  or  reveal. 

His  dress  I  also  saw,  though  of  a  similar  pattern  to  the 
other's,  was  of  a  rich  material,  and  his  hat  was  several 
inches  higher. 

I  smiled  and  bowed. 

The  stranger  returned  my  salute  with  grave  civility  ; 
and  made  as  if  to  pass  on,  but  a  question  of  mine  de- 
tained him. 

"  Will  you  be  kind  enough  to  tell  me,"  I  said,  this  time 
having  the  address  to  speak  English,  "  what  the  name  of 
this  place  may  be  ?  " 

"  Inquirendo  Island,"  he  answered,  fixing  his  eyes  upon 
me  with  what  was  undeniably  a  peculiar  expression. 

"  Pardon  me  if  I  detain  you  a  moment,"  I  continued, 
"  but  I  find  myself  in  a  most  unfortunate  dilemma.  I 
was  blown  off  from  the  coast  several  days  ago,  and  last 


8  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

night  had  the  misfortune  to  be  wrecked  on  the  rocks  di- 
rectly below  us.  Although  my  education  was  not  neg- 
lected I  find  myself  at  this  moment  quite  unable  to  recall 
the  precise  location  of  this  island.  I  assume  it  to  be  in 
the  Atlantic  Ocean  .somewhere  to  the  north  of  the  Bermu- 
das.    Am  I  right  ?  " 

The  gentleman  shook  his  head,  and  smiled  in  a  sad  way 
that  appeared  to  me  to  be  very  strange.  "  Doubtless  you 
are  right,"  he  said,  with  a  sigh. 

"  Surely  you  know  its  latitude  and  longitude  ?  " 

"  No,  I  do  not,  I  confess ;  nor  do  I  wholly  understand 
your  meaning.  However,  I  cannot  wait  here.  I  have  im- 
portant business — " 

"  But,  sir,"  I  pleaded,  as  he  moved  on  a  few  steps,  "  I 
only  wish  to  ask  a  few  questions.  I  am  a  shipwrecked 
stranger,  and  should  feel  greatly  obliged  for  a  little  infor- 
mation." 

The  man  paid  no  more  attention  to  me  ;  but  began 
walking  away,  with  some  dignity,  but  also  with  great 
agility.  I  felt  incensed,  thinking  thai  my  usual  quick  per- 
ceptions had  been  at  fault  in  so  quickly  accounting  him  a 
gentleman.     I  turned  and  strode  after  him. 


CHAPTER  II. 

A  DISCOURTEOUS  RECEPTION. 

'T^HE  instant  he  heard  me  coming  he  increased  his  pace 
■*■  to  a  very  fast  walk  indeed,  and  from  that,  as  I  still 
strove  to  overtake  him,  to  a  pompous  trot ;  a  very  queer 
kind  of  a  trot,  in  which  one  foot  was  always  deftly  planted 
before  the  other  was  lifted.  It  seemed  a  comical  gait  to 
go  at ;  but  nevertheless  the  gentleman  contrived  to  get 
over  the  ground  very  quickly. 

I  was  considerably  irritated  at  this  peculiar  and  per- 
verse method  of  responding  to  my  very  courteous  re- 
quests for  information,  and  being  irritated,  and  moreover 
a  fast  runner,  I  made  after  him  at  all  speed.  On  he  went, 
now  puffing  and  panting  with  his  exertions,  and  when  I 
bade  fair  to  overtake  him  he  began  to  bawl  at  the  top  of 
his  exhausted  lungs  :  "  Mike  !  Mike  !  Mike  !  " 

Scarce  had  the  words  left  his  lips  before,  just  over  a 
knoll  in  front  of  us,  appeared  the  Milesian,  full  tilt,  amb- 
ling along  in  an  uneasy  fashion,  head  down.  As  soon  as 
he  espied  me  he  roared  like  a  young  steer,  and  lifting  up  one 
brawny  arm  hurled  a  cobble-stone  at  me  so  deftly  that  if 
I  had  not  seen  the  arm  go  up,  I  should  infallibly  have 
myself  gone  down,  at  the  very  least  with  a  sorely  bruised 
head.  As  it  was,  the  stone  whizzed  past  my  ears,  and  the 
sensation  I  experienced  was  in  its  way  a  compliment  to 
Mike's  marksmanship.  I  stopped  instantly,  out  of  pru- 
dence. 

9 


10  IN'tjUlREXDO    ISLAND. 

The  other  arm  went  up,  and  another  missile  at  Mike's 
instigation  sought  to  claim  my  acquaintance.  I  remon- 
strated at  this  treatment  with  my  heels.  I  am  no  cow- 
ard, but  I  did  not  regard  it  as  at  all  essential  that  I  should 
stay  and  bandy  paving-stones  with  one  so  evidently  dex- 
terous in  using  them  ;  besides,  I  was  very  hungry.  As  I 
went  Mike  cried  out :  "  Be  aff,  now,  out  o'  this,"  more  vi' 
ciously  than  ever. 

Without  at  all  knowing  in  what  direction  to  go  in  order 
to  procure  something  eatable  I  nevertheless  proceeded 
straight  on,  till  to  my  amazement,  rounding  one  of  the 
numerous  knolls,  I  came  upon  an  iron  fence  ;  not  a  flimsy 
barbed  concern,  but  a  good,  solid,  substantial  post-and- 
picket  fence,  some  four  feet  or  more  in  height.  I  was 
sufficiently  observant,  notwithstanding  my  hunger,  to  note 
that  there  were  no  evidences  of  the  iron  having  been 
painted.  On  the  contrary,  it  appeared  to  be  quite  fresh 
from  the  foundry.  This  was  all  the  more  singular  to  me 
as  I  had  dealt  in  iron  largely  in  the  course  of  business, 
and  knew  very  well  that  in  that  salt  atmosphere  one  damp 
night  on  our  own  seaboard  would  have  sufficed  to  rust  it. 

Another  discovery  that  I  made  almost  at  the  same  time 
pleased  me  even  more  than  this  :  it  was  that  on  the  other 
side  of  the  fence  and  parallel  to  it  was  a  well-worn  foot- 
path. To  leap  the  fence  was  the  work  of  a  moment,  and 
the  chance  that  in  one  direction  the  path  led  down  hill, 
determined  me  to  proceed  that  way.  Soon  I  encountered 
other  fences  intersecting  the  first,  all  however  of  a  similar 
pattern  and  material ;  but  the  path  kept  right  on,  almost 
in  a  bee-line,  due  north,  up  hill  and  down,  over  stiles,  and 
through  narrow  openings.  Here  and  there  in  the  several 
fields  through  which  I  passed  were  cattle  grazing,  of  the 
same  peculiar  breed  that  I  had  first  seen,  and  in  one  was 


A    DISCOURTEOUS    RECEPTION.  II 

a  large  flock  of  sheep.  With  these  were  two  men  or  half- 
grown  boys  ;  but  I  judged  it  prudent  to  keep  to  the  path 
rather  than  go  out  of  my  way  on  their  account. 

At  last  the  foot-track  led  into  a  field  of  corn,  tall  and 
now  just  in  the  ear.  I  was  by  this  time  so  ravenously 
hungry  that  I  did  not  stop  to  consider  whether  or  not  my 
plucking  an  ear  or  two  might  be  considered  a  trespass,  or 
even  a  felony.  I  availed  myself  of  the  right  of  nature  to 
provide  for  one's  necessities,  and  never  in  my  life  did  any- 
thing taste  so  good.  I  munched  on,  feeling  at  every  mouth- 
ful in  better  humor,  until  I  had  eaten  my  fill,  all  the  time, 
however,  strolling  leisurely  along.  As  I  threw  my  last 
cob  away  the  path  emerged  from  amid  the  tall  stalks, 
and  I  stood  on  the  crest  of  a  very  considerable  elevation. 

Astonishment  and  delight  stayed  my  footsteps.  I  found 
myself  on  the  verge  of  a  most  singular  landscape.  Imme- 
diately at  my  feet  lay  what  appeared  to  be  a  vast  garden, 
laid  out  with  the  utmost  regularity  in  long  parallel  beds, 
between  which  were  narrow  paths,  crossing  each  other  at 
intervals.  The  ground  sloping  to  the  north  and  east  was 
covered  with  vegetation,  but  here,  as  in  all  my  journeying 
thus  far,  there  was  no  sign  of  either  tree  or  shrub.  At 
the  foot  of  the  slope,  beyond  the  garden,  rose  a  number  of 
spires  and  turrets  and  sharp-pointed  gables.  There  at 
last  certainly  was  some  sort  of  civilization.  The  main 
path  now  crossed  the  cultivated  ground,  and  I  went  on, 
intent  only  upon  reaching  the  village.  Vegetables  of  all 
kinds  abounded  in  the  garden.  There  were  beds  of  beets 
and  carrots,  turnips  and  radishes,  cucumbers  and  melons, 
and  here  and  there,  busy  at  work,  were  men  and  women, 
the  latter  clad  in  short  tunics  and  wearing  caps  of  a  pecul- 
iar pattern.  As  I  passed  them  they  all  rose  up  and 
looked   with  bulging  eyes,  as  if  I  had   dropped  from  the 


12  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

clouds,  while  they  nudged  one  another,  and  made  remarks 
to  themselves  in  low  tones.  I  went  on  towards  the  clus- 
tering houses,  disregarding  the  staring  eyes.  Men  and 
women  alike  seemed  possessed  with  the  most  profound 
but  silent  amazement  at  my  personal  appearance.  As  I 
walked  on  I  could  not  help  musing  upon  the  very  evident 
fact  that  my  attire  must  seem  to  these  islanders  striking 
if  not  peculiar.  I  was  hatless  in  the  first  place,  and  my 
checked  suit  was  certainly  very  different  from  the  cos- 
tumes of  any  whom  I  had  as  yet  encountered. 

Silent  astonishment  among  the  laborers  gave  way  to 
some  rather  boisterous  demonstrations  from  sundry  ur- 
chins and  half-grown  boys  whom  I  met  loitering  around 
in  the  village  street  when  at  last  I  came  among  the 
houses.  Their  manners  were  not  essentially  different 
from  those  of  an  equal  number  of  young  fellows  of  the 
baser  sort  in  any  small  place  in  my  own  country,  and 
bearing  in  mind  the  glassiness  of  our  own  house,  I  shall 
attempt  no  description  of  their  rudeness.  It  might  well 
be,  you  understand,  that  when  communication  is  estab- 
lished between  the  island  and  New  York,  the  Inquiren- 
dians  might  revenge  themselves  by  retorting  in  kind. 

Not  only  did  these  youths  accost  me,  but  when  I  passed 
on  in  dignified  silence,  they  followed  ;  keeping,  it  is  true, 
at  a  considerable  distance,  but  being  no  less  annoying  on 
that  account.  I  wandered  on,  however,  doing  my  best  to 
preserve  an  air  of  composure,  and  being  continually  on 
the  lookout  for  a  place  where  I  could  procure  a  sufficiency 
of  something  further  to  stay  my  appetite,  which  now  in- 
deed began  to  be  ravenous. 

Strange  as  it  may  appear,  the  entire  village  was  built 
altogether  of  iron  ;  not  only  was  there  no  wood  used  any- 
where in  construction,  hut  there  was  not  a  sign  of  a  tree. 


A    DISCOURTEOUS    RECEPTION.  I3 

nor  even  a  shrub,  in  any  direction  ;  and  I  will  here  state 
the  fact  that,  with  a  single  exception,  the  nearest  approach 
to  anything  wooden  that  I  saw  while  on  the  island,  was 
a  particularly  stout  corn-stalk.* 

The  houses  seemed  to  be  all  dwellings,  and  at  tlie 
windows  were  seated  females  apparently  engaged  in  some 
sedentary  occupation.  They  were  of  all  ages  and  vary- 
ing degrees  of  comeliness  ;  but  all  had  eyes,  and  all  stared 
their  best  at  me.  This  of  course  added  to  my  embarrass- 
ment, but  I  strode  on,  trying  to  feel  as  little  like  a  dog 
with  a  tin-can  attachment  as  possible. 

The  string  of  hoodlums  gathered  accretions  as  I  pro- 
gressed, and  when  I  turned  into  what  proved  to  be  the 
main  business  thoroughfare,  I  had  full  two  score  of  fol- 
lowers ;  and  the  grown  people,  stopping  as  I  came  up, 
stood  on  the  iron  curb-stones  and  stared  ;  while  up  went 
the  sashes,  bang  went  the  blinds,  click  went  the  door 
fastenings,  and  young  and  old,  male  and  female,  at  win- 
dows and  doors,  in  dwellings  and  shops,  stood  and  stared 
at  me  for  dear  life. 

I  was  very  much  mortified. 

Shops  there  were  a  plenty,  but  as  yet  no  restaurant  or 
bakery.  I  had  passed  one  butcher's  stall,  where  two  or 
three  whole  carcasses  were  exposed  for  sale ;  but  I  had 
not  yet  arrived  at  that  state  of  desperation  which  impelled 
me  to  try  raw  flesh. 

Seeing  an  establishment  bearing  the  sign  "  Hats  and 
Caps"  I  put  on  a  bold  front, — mindful  of  my  bare  head, — 
and  approached  the  proprietor,  who  stood,  like  half  the 
street,  hands  on  hips,  eyeing  me. 

*  I  may  as  well  also  at  this  point  except  from  this  statement  the 
heads  of  certain  of  the  inhabitants,  as  will  more  fully  appear  further 
on. 


14  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  I  should  like  to  purchase  a  hat,"  I  said. 

The  man,  a  stalwart  person  of  mature  years,  looked  at 
me  for  an  instant  with  grave  suspicion  plainly  written  on 
his  features,  and  then  letting  his  hands  drop  to  his  side, 
he  turned  about  and  entered  the  shop.  There  was  no 
counter  or  anything  like  it ;  down  the  centre  of  the  store 
was  a  narrow  aisle,  and  piled  up  on  the  floor,  and  hang- 
ing on  a  multiplicity  of  hooks,  were  hats  similar  in  shape 
to  those  I  had  seen  on  the  heads  of  the  inhabitants,  of 
varying  sober  hues,  and  of  an  infinite  number  of  sizes. 

"Fit  yourself,"  said  the  man,  sullenly.  Then  casting  a 
glance  out  of  the  open  door  he  called,  "  John  !  "  Instantly 
a  dapper  young  chap  appeared. 

"  Go  out  and  tell  that  crowd  to  leave.  If  they  won't, 
call  the  watch." 

John  obeyed,  and  the  hoodlums  fled  over  to  the  oppo- 
site side  of  the  street,  and  stood  there  in  row  watching 
while  I  fitted  mj'self  with  one  of  the  hats.  "  I  guess  this 
will  do,"  I  said  at  last ;  "  how  much  is  it  ?  " 

I  was  enabled  to  be  confident  in  respect  to  my  ability 
to  purchase,  for  it  so  happened  that  in  my  wallet  were  some 
half -eagles  and  a  lot  of  silvt;r  change.  I  had  also  several 
bills  of  the  Highland  National  Bank  of  Newburgh  and  of 
the  Herkimer  Bank  of  Rome,  N.  Y.,  but  these  I  knew 
would  probably  be  of  no  value,  and  were  not  included  as 
available  assets. 

"  Thrippence  hapenny,"  responded  the  man. 

Thinking  that  this  was  certainly  very  cheap  I  produced 
my  change,  and  selecting  a  ten-cent  piece  tendered  it  to 
the  hatter. 

"What's  this  ?"  he  asked,  contemptuously. 

"  Ten  cents." 


A    DISCOURTEOUS    RECEPTION.  1 5 

"  Fakens  !  "  he  retorted  with  a  snort,  holding  it  out. 
"What  do  I  want  with  that  ?  " 

"  Ain't  it  good  ?  "  said  I — "  won't  it  pass  here  ?  " 

"  See  here,  young  man,"  he  exclaimed,  in  a  tone  of  con- 
siderable decision,  "  I'm  getting  tired  of  your  pranks. 
Just  you  pay  for  that  there  hat  without  any  more  non- 
sense.    If  you  don't,  I'll  call  the  watch." 

"  Call  the  town  clock,  if  you  like,"  said  I,  with  some 
show  of  indignation  ;  "  but  if  you  can't  change  ten  cents 
perhaps  you  will  take  gold  .''  " 

This  seemed  to  mollify  him. 

"  I'll  take  gold,  of  course,"  he  answered,  promptly. 

I  showed  him  a  five-dollar  piece.  He  examined  it  crit- 
ically, rung  it  on  the  floor,  and  bit  it. 

"  It's  gold,  certainly," he  remarked,  "but  for  all  that  it's 
no  good." 

At  this,  of  course,  I  remonstrated. 

"  What's  the  matter  with  it  ?  "  I  said. 

"  It  hasn't  got  our  stamp  on  it."  Then  he  added,  look- 
ing at  me  with  a  curious  expression,  "  See  here,  young  man, 
what  part  of  the  island  are  you  from,  anyway  ? " 

I  tried  to  explain  that  I  was  a  stranger,  and  had  been 
cast  ashore  on  the  coast  not  very  far  from  the  village  ; 
but  to  this  he  listened  with  a  pitying  smile.  I  suppose 
if  I  had  told  him  that  I  had  dropped  down  from  the 
clouds  he  could  not  have  been  more  disdainful.  He 
stood  looking  at  me  with  a  most  peculiar  expression  on 
his  face,  and  the  other  man  who  had  been  addressed  as 
John  also  stood  and  stared.  "  What'U  you  take  for  this  ?  " 
said  the  shop-keeper  at  length,  balancing  the  coin  on 
his  finger. 

"  It  ought  to  pass  for  a  pound,"  said  I,  "  if  you  use  Eng- 
lish money." 


1 6  IXCjUIKtNUU    ISLAND. 

''  You're  from  the  east,  ain't  you  ?  "  said  the  man,  when 
he  had  finished  replying  to  my  questions. 

"  No,"  I  answered,  "  I  am  from  New  York." 

"Where?" 

"  New  York." 

He  shook  his  head. 

"  Poor  fellow,"  he  said,  compassionately, "  how  long  have 
you  been  away  from  your  friends  ?  " 

I  was  beginning  to  get  irritated,  not  liking  his  tone. 

"  I  was  six  days  at  .sea,"  I  answered,  a  little  crossly. 
"  You  don't  appear  to  believe  me  when  I  tell  you  that  I  was 
wrecked  on  the  coast." 

"  At  any  rate,  I  feel  very  sorry  for  you,"  he  remarked, 
placidly.  A  kind  heart  and  thievish  palm  sometimes  go 
together. 

Then  the  door  opened  and  John  came  in  with  the 
change.  This  was  counted  out  to  me  in  silver  and  some 
coppers.  The  silver  was  very  small  and  the  copper  very 
large,  and  the  devices  on  all  the  coins  were  quite  unfamil- 
iar to  me,  although  I  was  well  acquainted  with  English 
money.  However,  I  put  it  all  in  my  pocket,  and  strolled 
on  up  the  street. 

When  I  emerged  from  the  hatter's  shop  I  again  became 
an  object  of  curiosity,  but  I  disregarded  the  imperti- 
nence of  the  populace,  and  at  the  proper  place,  which  I  had 
no  difficulty  in  finding,  had  the  satisfaction  to  partake  of 
an  abundant  repast.  The  beefsteak  was  excellent  and 
my  appetite  enormous,  notwithstanding  the  corn  ;  but  all 
the  time  I  was  eating  the  proprietor  and  his  assistants 
regarded  me  furtively.  I  paid  for  my  breakfast  from  the 
change  that  the  hatter  had  given  me,  and  was  immensely 
surprised  at  the  very  moderate  charge. 

At  the  door  I  was  accosted  by  two  persons  in  a  sort  of 


A   DISCOURTEOUS    RECEPTION.  17 

uniform,  who,  with  an  affectation  of  politeness,  begged  to 
know  from  what  part  of  the  island  I  came.  I  was  now 
getting  used  to  this  question,  but  the  manner  of  it  in  this 
instance  appeared  to  me  to  be  somewhat  peremptory.  I 
am  not  in  the  habit  of  permitting  impertinence,  and  my 
resentment  caused  me  to  reply  with  some  heat. 

"There  !  you  hear  him,"  said  a  voice.  I  looked  around 
and  saw  that  it  was  my  acquaintance,  the  hatter.  This  in- 
creased my  wrath  tenfold,  for  I  could  not  see  what  busi- 
ness it  was  of  the  hatter's. 

I  therefore  shook  my  fist  at  him  with  some  vehemence. 
He  forthwith  fell  back,  and  the  assembly  of  urchins  be- 
gan to  hoot,  and  crow,  and  make  a  variety  of  unseemly 
noises. 

My  demonstration  in  respect  to  the  hatter  was  no  doubt 
unwise.  It  certainly  seemed  to  determine  the  action  of 
the  two  uniformed  men,  whom,  from  their  proceedings, 
I  now  judged  to  be  policemen.  With  one  accord  they 
stepped  forward,  and  each  taking  an  arm,  I  was  summarily 
hauled  along  the  street.  I  struggled  and  remonstrated,  but 
all  in  vain.  I  was  threatened  with  a  club  if  I  persisted, 
and  so  discreetly  forbore  further  resistance. 

We  came  at  last,  having  been  followed  the  entire  dis- 
tance by  the  noisy  crowd,  to  a  low,  unpretentious  building, 
over  whose  door  was  set  a  curious  quartered  shield,  on 
either  side  of  which  were  two  eccentric  carvings  of  fero- 
cious nondescript  animals,  half  lion,  half  bull,  blazing  with 
shining  gilt. 

Behind  a  rail  at  an  elevated  desk  sat  an  elderly  indi- 
vidual of  a  benevolent  aj^pearance,  who  was  forthwith  ad- 
dressed as  "Judge  "  by  my  conductors.  A  few  whispered 
words  passed.  I  heard  the  judge  say  "  asylum,"  and  then 
the  two  policemen  marched  me  out  again.     I  protested 


l8  INCJUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

vigorously  ;  but  to  all  my  appeals  the  judge  was  not  only 
pitiless,  but  absolutely  indifferent.  He  paid  no  attention 
at  all  to  me,  and  after  his  instructions  had  been  given, 
went  on  writing  as  if  he  had  done  all  that  humanity  as 
well  as  duty  demanded. 

Again  in  the  street  I  was  lugged  back  down  the  thor- 
oyghfare,  followed  as  before  by  the  noisy  and  boisterous 
urchins.  The  windows  again  went  up,  the  heads  popped 
out,  and  there  was  the  same  scene  of  staring  and  amaze- 
ment. 

Some  one  had,  I  suppose,  been  sent  on  ahead,  for  when 
we  arrived  at  the  extreme  end  of  the  town,  in  fact  almost 
in  the  fields,  we  found  in  front  of  what  appeared  to  be  a 
stable,  a  peculiar  vehicle,  to  which  were  harnessed  a 
couple  of  lank  and  bony  steers. 

In  this  conveyance  I  was  harshly  bidden  to  take  my 
place,  and  then,  seated  between  the  two  policemen,  we 
bounced  and  jolted  over  a  poorly  macadamized  road  out 
into  the  country. 

Though  uncomfortable  and  irritated,  I  could  not  avoid 
seeing  that  the  country  was  well  cultivated,  and  in  the  suc- 
cession of  hills  and  vales,  with  watercourses  at  frequent  in- 
tervals, was  surpassingly  lovely.  We  drove  on,  up  hill  and 
down,  at  a  lively  gait,  the  little  oxen  trotting  along  uncon- 
cernedly, while  I  preserved  an  indignant,  and  my  conduct- 
ors a  stoical,  silence.  After  a  fatiguing  drive  we  came 
in  sight  of  a  large  building,  several  stories  in  height,  with 
turrets  at  the  angles,  the  whole  surrounded  by  a  high  wall 
of  solid  masonry. 


CHAPTER  III 

MR.    NUDWINK's    serious    CONVERSATION, 

A  S  we  drove  up  two  immense  iron  gates  swung  inward 
■^~*-  in  response  to  a  whistle  from  one  of  the  policemen, 
and  with  a  bang  and  clatter  we  wheeled  into  a  great  court- 
yard all  paved  with  cobble  stones  laid  in  a  mosaic  pattern. 

I  was  called  upon  peremptorily  to  alight,  and  several 
strapping  young  men  issued  from  a  door  in  one  of  the 
corner  turrets,  and  to  the  care  of  one  of  these  I  was  con- 
signed— a  tall,  burly,  black-browed,  sinister  fellow,  to  whom 
I  felt  at  once  and  instinctively  the  strongest  aversion.  I 
had  the  dissatisfaction  to  overhear  a  remark  from  one  of 
the  blue-coats  that  I  had  better  be  carefully  guarded,  as  I 
had  already  manifested  some  belligerent  proclivities. 

This  speech  had  the  effect  to  arouse  my  wrath,  hitherto 
restrained  from  very  hopelessness.  I  gave  vent  to  my 
feelings  in  an  indignant  outburst  of  remonstrance. 

"  What  have  I  done,"  I  demanded,  "  to  be  treated  in 
this  way  ? " 

To  this  no  response  was  made.  The  black-browed 
turnkey  (for  that  this  was  his  occupation  I  became  speed- 
ily satisfied)  vouchsafed  no  information,  and  only  grinned 
in  a  horrid,  odious  way.  A  whispered  consultation  fol- 
lowed, and  bidding  me  follow  him  the  man  strode  on  into 
the  building. 

I  was  conducted  into  a  small  apartment  and  told  to  sit 
down.     After  waiting  half  an  hour  or  so  three  old  men 

19 


20  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

came  in  and  asked  me  questions,  to  all  of  which  I  replied 
truthfully.  They  asked  me  from  what  part  of  the  island 
I  came,  and  I  repeated  the  story  of  my  fortunate  landing. 
They  shook  their  heads  very  much  over  this,  and  having 
looked  at  my  tongue  and  felt  my  pulse  they  all  retired  as 
gravely  as  they  entered,  not  deigning  to  acquaint  me  with 
the  result  of  their  deliberations,  nor  to  reply  to  my  pro- 
tests. However,  I  was  not  left  very  long  in  doubt,  for 
two  stout  fellows  soon  after  appeared,  and  unceremoni- 
ously taking  each  an  arm  they  marched  me  between  them 
through  a  long  passage-way  and  up  a  flight  of  steps  and 
along  a  corridor.  They  stopped  in  front  of  a  small 
room,  the  door  of  which  was  open.  It  was  lighted  by  a 
narrow  window,  through  which  I  caught  a  glimpse  of  the 
verdant  country.  Into  this  room  I  was  introduced  forth- 
with in  spite  of  my  protestations.  "  What  was  it  I  had 
done  ?  "  I  asked  indignantly  ;  but  to  this  sensible  question 
I  received  no  reply.  The  men  not  unkindly  bade  me  be 
still,  and  then  going  out  locked  the  door  and  bolted  it  se- 
curely. I  peered  after  tliem  through  the  grated  opening, 
and  even  tried  the  effect  of  remonstrance,  but  it  was  all 
without  avail.  They  went  away  and  the  corridor  was 
empty.  I  soon  found  (hat  I  was  by  no  means  solitary, 
for  as  I  clung  to  the  grating  I  observed  here  and  there, 
at  similar  openings  in  doors  up  and  down  the  hallway, 
hands  grasping  the  bars,  and  eyes  gazing  at  me  through 
them. 

I  ventured  to  make  a  remark,  not  addressed  to  any  par- 
ticular pair  of  eyes,  but  appealing  in  a  forlorn,  purpose- 
less way  to  a  common  humanity  that  appeared  to  abound 
about  me. 

"  What  place  is  this  ?  "  I  asked. 

At   first   silence  ;  then  one    or   two  rattlings  of   doors 


MR.   NUDWINK  S  SERIOUS  CONVERSATION.  21 

followed,  and  at  last  a  hollow  voice  snapped  out:  "This 
is  hell  !  " 

"  Pithy  but  not  comforting,"  I  thought  ;  but  undismayed, 
and  with  an  ardent  desire  for  information,  I  persisted 
with  interrogations  ;  to  all  of  which  receiving  more  or 
less  incoherent  answers,  I  became  convinced  that  the 
unknown  with  whom  I  was  conversing  was  a  lunatic. 
Not  until  then  did  the  idea — a  horrible  one  indeed — 
occur  to  nie  that  I  also  was  kept  in  durance  as  a  maniac. 

So  dreadful  were  my  feelings  then  that  even  now  I 
cannot  recall  them  without  a  shudder.  I  believe  in  my 
heart  that  for  a  time  I  was  in  some  degree  deranged. 
Certain  it  is  that  an  unutterable  woe  and  agony  unspeak- 
able possessed  me.  Famished,  I  could  not  eat,  though 
food — palatable  food — was  brought  me.  Athirst  all  the 
time,  I  could  not  drink.  In  dire  distress  I  paced  mo- 
notonously back  and  forth  from  window  to  grating  day 
after  day  ;  at  times  fretting  furiously,  at  others  apathetic, 
at  all  despairing. 

I  know  not  the  length  of  time  that  elapsed  before  I 
was  in  a  measure  restored  to  myself.  The  three  wise- 
visaged  old  men,  whom  many  a  time  I  cursed  to  their 
teeth,  and  whom  I  now  know  were  mad-doctors,  came 
singly  at  intervals,  and  made  a  pretence  of  conversation. 
With  the  lapse  of  time  I  waxed  wise,  discovering,  as 
all  must  sooner  or  later,  whether  in  Inquirendo  or  else- 
where, that  temper  is  the  very  poorest  possible  refuge 
in  any  sort  of  distress.  At  first  I  took  refuge  in  sullen- 
ness  and  obstinacy,  giving  over  my  fits  of  fury ;  then, 
finding  that  silence  and  scorn  had  no  effect  in  softening 
the  obstinate  hearts  or  the  crusty  intellects  of  my 
keepers,  I  resorted  to  the  stratagem  of  feigning  satisfac- 
tion, and  falling  in  with  the  notion  that  I  actually  labored 


22  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

under  a  delusion.  My  own  heart  needed  softening,  no 
doubt,  and  the  means  to  that  end  were  found  in  a  sight 
of  a  sweet  face  flitting  here  and  there  in  the  garden  that 
my  window  overlooked.  It  was  the  face  of  a  lovely 
young  girl  tending  her  flowers  beneath  the  window.  I 
dare  avow  this,  that  the  sight  of  her  awakened  within 
me  all  my  powers,  set  me  to  thinking,  and  in  the  end 
was  the  cause  of  my  liberation. 

In  seeing  her  at  tirst  I  felt  a  breath  of  the  cool  air 
of  freedom.  I  saw  myself  as  I  was,  a  foolish  fellow 
with  wits  unused.  So,  with  the  passing  days,  as  I  saw 
her  again  and  again,  new  hope  came  into  my  soul,  and 
with  deep  purpose  I  planned  and  plotted  for  my  liberty. 
There  is,  after  all,  no  incentive  to  action  so  grand,  so 
complete  as  the  motive  that  a  woman  gives.  If  one  can 
fall  in  love  with  a  moving  picture,  then  from  my  window 
I  loved,  though  as  yet  I  had  not  heard  her  speak.  She 
came  and  went  day  after  day,  and  I  only  watched  her, 
thrilling  with  pleasure  as  she  came  into  the  garden,  and 
with  disappointment  when  she  left  it. 

I  began  my  studies  in  patience— affected  an  air  of 
melancholy  resignation,  no  longer  loudly  proclaimed 
my  sanity,  nor  cursed  those  who  came  near  me.  The 
three  wise  doctors  came  as  usual :  wise-visaged  as  ever 
at  first,  then  puzzled,  then  interested,  questioning,  and 
in  the  end  affably  conversing. 

The  questions,  as  before,  related  to  my  past  life,  as  to 
who  I  was,  and  whence  I  came ;  but  these  I  parried, 
pretending  that  I  could  not  recall  my  identity,  and  being 
especially  careful  that  I  did  not  claim  to  have  been 
dropped  by  the  sea  upon  the  island.  I  would  press  my 
hand  upon  my  temples,  put  on  an  air  of  thoughtfulness, 


MR.    NUDWINK  S    SERIOUS    CONVERSATION.  23 

and  express  myself  as  longing  to  recover  a  something 
that  I  felt  was  missing. 

One  clay  the  trio  came  together.  The  door  was  un- 
barred by  an  attendant — the  black,  ill-looking  fellow  to 
whom  I  had,  on  many  occasions,  manifested  a  desperate 
aversion.  They  entered,  and  with  one  accord  began  to 
talk.  They  felt  my  pulse,  and  went  over  the  old  round 
of  queries.  "  Did  I  still  persist  in  the  absurd  notion  that 
I  had  come  to  the*  island  from  across  the  sea.'"'  they 
said. 

I  smiled,  as  if  at  the  absurdity  of  the  notion,  as  a  man 
might  recovering  from  the  delusion  that  he  had  dropped 
from  the  sky  from  some  other  planet. 

"That  is  all  over,"  I  answered,  "but  yet  I  am  quite 
unable  to   account  for  my  presence  here." 

"Very  good,"  said  they,  "you  are  recovering.  It  will 
now  be  only  a  question  of  time." 

Thus,  consulting  together,  they  agreed  that  my  disease, 
as  they  were  pleased  to  call  it,  was  likely  to  be  of  no  long 
continuance.  A  name  they  had  for  it,  of  course — a  good 
long  name,  but  this  I  have  forgotten — and  there  was 
much  said  about  diet,  and  some  suggestions  as  to  exer- 
cise. To  all  I  listened  with  much  placidity,  greatly  long- 
ing to  have  my  fiing  at  their  follies,  but  impressed  with 
the  hopelessness  of  so  doing. 

The  oldest  and  wisest  looking  of  the  three,  whose 
opinions  I  plainly  saw  guided  the  rest,  now  hinted  that 
according  to  the  method — as  I  understood  him — habitu- 
ally pursued  in  cases  like  mine,  the  time  had  come  for 
some  stimulating  recreation  and  society.  My  heart  gave 
a  great  bound  as  I  heard  this  ;  but  I  took  care  to  express 
myself  very  guardedly,  saying  that  the  confinement  had 
become    intolerably  irksome    to   me,  and    that  I   felt    an 


24  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

intense  longing  to  be  free  from  under  restraint.  "Though, 
gentlemen,"  1  went  on,  hating  myself  as  I  spoke  for  iny 
hypocrisy,  "  I  feel  the  need  of  medical  care.  I  am 
greatly  impressed  with  the  conviction  that  by  following 
your  directions  implicitly  I  shall  recover  the  use  of  all  my 
faculties,  some  of  which  I  now  clearly  understand  are 
impaired." 

The  doctors,  and  especially  the  wise  old  one,  were  de- 
lighted. "  This  is  a  very  peculiar  case,"  said  they,  and 
whipping  out  note-books  they  jotted  down  the  whole  mat- 
ter. All  shook  hands  with  me,  a  thing  that  had  not  hap- 
pened before,  when  they  left,  promising  that  in  a  day  or 
two  everything  should  be  duly  arranged. 

After  they  had  gone,  a  sober,  serious,  long-faced  indi- 
vidual, whom  I  had  seen  perambulating  up  and  down  the 
corridors  at  intervals  during  my  sojourn,  came  to  my 
door,  accompanied  by  the  black-looking  keeper.  This 
person  introduced  himself  to  me  in  a  gentlemanly  way. 
saying  that  his  name  was  Nudwink,  and  that  he  was  the 
chaplain  of  the  institution. 

I  bowed,  and  offered  him  the  only  chair,  a  light  steel 
concern,  with  back  and  arms,  a  ver}'  good  imitation  of 
cane  work,  whilst  I  myself  sat  upon  the  bed. 

"  I  am  rejoiced  to  learn,  sir,"  said  IMr.  Nudwink  with  a 
smile,  "  that  you  are  in  a  fair  way  toward   recovery." 

I  replied  that  my  joy  was  also  great,  but  that  I  was  well 
aware  that  I  still  needed  advice. 

"  And  now  as  to  your  spiritual  welfare,"  said  the  chap- 
lain, after  we  had  conversed  upon  the  subject  of  my 
health  for  some  little  time,  "  I  trust  that  the  time  has  ar- 
rived when  I  may  speak  freely." 

I  assured  him  that  he  need  be  under  no  restraint,  and 
yet,  I  do  not  know  why,  1  began  to  feel  just  a  little  bored, 


MR.    NUDWINK's    serious    CONVERSATION.  2^ 

for  when  he  mentioned  my  spiritual  welfare,  the  man's 
manner  became  instantly  sanctimonious,  exactly  as  our 
parsons  act  at  home.  Furthermore  I  felt  a  little  loath  to 
enter  upon  a  conversation  respecting  sacred  subjects,  as 
I  was  not  a  member  of  any  church,  and  was  also  averse 
to  have  any  one  pry  into  what  I,  perhaps  too  modestly, 
regarded  as  a  private  matter  between  myself  and  my  con- 
science. I  did  not  think  it  prudent  to  repel  Mr.  Nud- 
wink,  who,  taking  my  assent  for  granted,  proceeded  : 

"  Have  you  known  what  it  is  to  trust  in  Mathematics  ?  " 

Very  naturally  I  stared  at  this  peculiar  question. 

"  Pardon  me,"  I  said,  "  I  must  hava  misunderstood  you," 

"  Have  you  ever  been  led  to  a  consideration  of  the 
truth — the  truth  of  overruling  Numbers?  " 

"  Numbers  ?  " 

"  Yes,  yes,"  he  answered,  impatiently. 

"  No,"  said  I,  doubtfully,  "  I  cannot  say  that  I  have  ex- 
actly ;  perhaps  it  is  because  I  do  not  altogether  under- 
stand." 

"  My  question  was  a  plain  one,  young  man,"  said  the 
chaplain,  frigidly,  "  the  wayfaring  man  need  not  err." 

"  Oh,"  said  I,  brightening,  "  you  mean  religion.  If  you 
mean  that,  I  must  say  that  I  am  not  a  member  of  any 
church." 

"  Did  you  not  have  a  religious  training,  my  friend  .'' " 

"Oh,  yes,  I  go  to  church  pretty  regularly." 

"  What  church  were  you  in  the  habit  of  attending  pre- 
vious to  being  brought  to  this  institution  ?  " 

"  Well,  I  went  to  the — "  I  hesitated,  having  learned  wis- 
dom and  being  unwilling  to  commit  myself  to  anything 
that  might  savor  of  a  disordered  imagination.  It  was  on 
the  tip  of  my  tongue  to  declare  point  blank  that  I  occa- 
sionally dropped  in  at  the  Methodist  church,  but  I  was  not 


26  INQUIREXDO    ISLAND. 

sure   how  this    statement    might  be  received,  so   I   hesi- 
tated. 

''  Perhaps  it  was  the  Estabhshed  church  ?  "  he  suggested. 

"  Sometimes,"  I  said,  guardedly. 

"Then  you  must  have  heard  the  truth  in  its  purity." 

"  I  suppose  1  did,"  I  replied,  being  as  non-committal  as 
possible. 

"  And  there  you  heard  of  Mathematics  ?  " 

What  did  he  mean  ?  I  felt  myself  turning  very  red  in 
ihe  face.  I  certainly  had  heard  of  Mathematics ;  but 
then  it  had  so  happened  that  I  had  never  heard  of  it  in 
the  Established,  or  in  fact  any  other  church.  I  felt  a  re- 
luctance to  avow  this,  and  so,  shamefaced,  I  contented 
myself  with  the  statement  that  I  had  heard  of  Mathematics. 

"And  Numbers  ?  "  he  interrupted. 

"Yes,  I  have  heard  of  Numbers." 

"  And  the  Nine  Digits,  you  have  been  taught  of  them  ?  " 

"Oh,  yes,"  I  replied,  truthfully  enough,  but  not  at  all 
comprehending  the  relevancy  of  the  chaplain's  remarks. 

"  Then  the  groundwork  at  least  has  been  laid,"  said  he, 
with  a  smile  that  to  me  was  very  awful.  "  Perhaps  at  the 
knees  of  a  pious  mother?  " 

I  replied  that  my  mother  was  certainly  very  pious. 

"Then  doubtless  you  owe  it  to  her,  your  acquaintance 
with  these  sacred  things  ?  " 

I  said  nothing. 

"  Your  mother  taught  you,  I  presume  ?  "  he  continued. 

"  No,"  said  I,  forgetting  myself  and  my  prudence, 
"  she  didn't.  When  I  was  a  little  shaver  I  had  a  govern- 
ess ;  after  that  I  went  to  a  day-school — " 

"Do  you  mean  seriously  to  tell  me  that  your  mother, 
being  a  pious  woman,  never  herself  instructed  you  in  the 
knowledge  of  Mathematics  ?  " 


MR.    NUDWINK's    serious    CONVERSATION.  27 

"  Never." 

"That  is  incomprehensible  to  me,"  he  said,  very  sol- 
emnly. 

"  My  mother  had  a  large  family — "  I  began,  apologet- 
ically. 

"  But  still,  a  mother's  duty,  surely — " 

"  We  were  all  turned  over  to  the  governess,  and  after- 
wards when  we  got  older  went  to  day-school." 

"  And  she  never  herself  instructed  you  ?    I  am  surprised." 

He  certainly  appeared  to  be  so,  as  also  probably  did  I. 

"  I  was  taught  at  school,"  I  said,  thinking  it  necessary  to 
say  something. 

"  Sunday-school,  I  presume  you  mean." 

"  No,  day-school.  I  had  my  first  lessons  there.  I  was 
taught,  to  be  sure,  by  the  governess,  but  I  really  learned 
very  little  from  her." 

"  Did  not  your  mother  attend  church  ?  " 

"Oh,  yes." 

"  Let  me  put  a  few  questions  to  you,"  he  said,  airily, 
crossing  his  legs  complacently. 

"  Certainly." 

"In  the  first  place,  to  acquaint  myself  with  the  exact 
state  of  your  heart,  I  shall  ask  you  :  Who  is  Mathemat- 
ics ? " 

"  Who  ? " 

"  Yes,  yes,  who  ?  " 

"  You  don't  mean  who  ?  "  said  I,  astonished  beyond 
measure. 

"Yes,  I  do,  of  course  I  do  ;  why  not  ?  " 

"  You  don't  mean  who,  you  mean  what." 

The  chaplain  gave  himself  an  impatient  shake. 

"  Let  me  ask  you  another  question  :  Who  is  Numbers  ?  " 

"  Numbers .''  " 


28  INIJUIRENDO    IbLANI). 

"  Yes,  yes." 

"  One,  two,  three,  four,"  I  began. 

lie  stopped  me  abruptly. 

"That  is  not  what  I  mean.  Vou  say  that  you  have 
heard  of  Numbers  :  who  is  he  ?  " 

"  Who  ?  "   1  asked,  more  puzzled  than  ever. 

"  Yes,  who  ?  "   he  answered,  rather  crossly. 

"  You  mean  what  are  numbers,  don't  you  ?  " 

He  stared.  I  met  his  look  frankly,  trying  to  divest  my- 
self of  all  appearance  of  impertinence,  or  what  was  more 
difficult,  of  folly,  and  making  a  desperate  endeavor  to  in- 
fuse into  my  manner  an  inquiring  docility.  He  kept  on 
staring  till  it  embarrassed  me. 

"  Perhaps  1  do  not  exactly  understand,"  I  stammered. 

"  It  is  quite  evident  that  you  do  not,"  he  answered,  "but 
it  is  not  your  fault,  of  course  ;  and  yet  I  was  given  to  un- 
derstand that  your  mind  had  recovered  its  tone — " 

I  started,  glad  of  this  information. 

''  Do  not  be  hasty,"  said  Mr.  Nudwink,  also  starting,  per- 
h;i|is  with  trepidation,  for  he  cast  a  quick,  uneasy  look 
'iwards  the  door.  "Do  nothing  and  say  nothing  rash. 
No  doubt  these  vagaries  will  also  disappear  speedily, 
but,  ])oor  man,  you  ought  to  be  fortified — " 

"  With  a  demi-lune  ?  "  said  I  jocosely,  and  thinking  what 
I  said  was,  under  the  circumstances,  a  very  fair  joke. 

Mr.  Nudwink  scowled. 

"  I  do  not  gather  anything  relevant  to  our  subject  from 
your  remarks,"  he  said. 

"  I  dislike  to  explain  a  joke,"  I  said,  "  but  if  you  can 
spare  half  an  hour,  I  shall  be  most  happy  to  make  this 
one  plain." 

He  scowled  more  than  ever,  and  went  on,  disregarding 
what  I  had  proposed  :   "  Fn'tiju'il  witli  that  trust  in  Matii- 


MR.    NUDWINK'S    serious    CONVERSATION.  2g 

ematics,  which  will  enable  you  to  be  serene  under  all  ad- 
versities." 

I  began  to  think  that  the  chaplain  must  himself  be  one 
of  the  patients. 

"Do  you  read  your  Arithmetic  regularly.^"  he  asked, 
this  time  in  a  perfunctory  way,  quite  as  if  he  regarded  me 
as  utterly  given  over  to  an  evil  power. 

"  At  home,  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"No,  here." 

"  I  can't  say  that  I  have,"  I  faltered. 

"  You  have  a  copy,  have  you  not  .''  " 

"  Copy  ?— of  what  ?  " 

"  Of  your  Arithmetic,  of  course  ;  to  what  else  could  I  re- 
fer ?  Young  man,  do  not  trifle.  Surely  you  cannot  fail  to 
comprehend  so  simple  a  question."  Mr.  Nudvvink  looked 
very  fierce  for  a  chaplain,  and  fortunately  I  was  able  to 
mollify  him.  It  occurred  to  me  that  I  had  seen  a  little 
book  on  a  shelf  over  my  bed  when  I  was  first  admitted  to 
the  cell.  Perhaps  that  was  the  work  on  mathematics  to 
which  he  referred.  I  now  recalled  the  fact  that  I  had 
kicked  it  under  the  bed  one  day  in  a  moment  of  irritation. 

"  I  guess  I  know  what  you  mean,"  I  said.  "  I'll  look 
for  it." 

With  that  I  got  down  instantly  on  hands  and  knees, 
and  searched  under  the  bed.  My  long  experience  at 
home  with  the  female  named  Bridget — alas !  I  had  never 
imagined  that  the  tears  would  fill  my  eyes  at  the  thought 
of  her — enabled  me  to  know  by  instinct  that  the  book  was 
in  the  remotest  corner,  and,  as  my  slippers  used  in  days 
of  yore,  would  be  found  covered  with  dust.  I  dragged 
myself  out  at  last  with  the  volume  in  my  possession.  I 
got  up  and  slapped  the  lids  together  with  a  bang.  The 
dust  filled  the  air. 


30  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Phew  !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Nudwink,  while  I  made  a  des- 
perate effort  to  free  my  own  person,  as  well  as  the  little 
book,  from  the  dust  and  wretched  little  odds  and  ends  of 
ravellings,  and  hairs,  and  feathers  that  are  so  persistent  in 
their  embraces  when  one  has  crawled  under  a  bed.  Ex- 
cept that  my  chamber  person  was  named  Tom  instead  of 
Bridget,  there  was  really  little  difference  in  the  way  the 
room  was  looked  after.     But  this  is  a  digression, 

"  Phew  !  "  repeated  the  chaplain,  as  I  slapped  the  book 
again.  "  You  are  raising  an  intolerable  dust,  and  be- 
sides " — he  lowered  his  voice — "  it  is  irreverent." 

"  Is  this  the  book  ? ''  I  said,  holding  it  out.  He  took 
it. 

"  Have  you  not  read  it  ?  "  he  asked,  with  a  veiy  sour  face. 

"  Read  it !     No,  I  haven't.     Why  should  I  read  it  ?  " 

"  Why,  young  man,  do  you  ask  that  question  seriously  .'"' 

'•  I  do,  of  course.  It  seems  to  be  nothing  but  the  four 
ground  rules." 

The  chaplain  stood  up,  full  of  wTath. 

"Wretched  young  man,"  he  said,  "be  warned  in  time. 
Your  conduct  indicates  either  the  most  lax  training,  or  a 
moral  obliquity  for  which  I  am  totally  at  a  loss  to  ac- 
count.    I  trust  it  may  not  be  the  latter." 

I  made  some  effort  to  convince  him  that  it  was  not 
moral  obliquity  that  had  restrained  me  from  the  perusal  of 
the  volume  ;  but  Mr.  Nudwink  was  not  to  be  appeased  by 
any  protestations  of  mine. 

"  Take  it  and  read  it,"  he  said,  solemnly,  "  and  may  its 
principles  sink  into  your  heart  and  be  productive  of  great 
good." 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE    GIRL    OF    THE    GARDEN, 

"XTO  doubt  Mr.  Nudwink  reported  adversely  to  my 
-^  ^  sanity;  but  happily  for  me  he  was  not  the  sole  ex- 
pert in  such  matters,  and  in  due  time,  it  is  to  be  presumed 
after  consulting  together,  the  three  doctors  came  and  in- 
formed me  that  my  case  had  been  considered,  and  that  it 
had  been  determined  to  afford  me  a  certain  amount  of  re- 
laxation and  amusement.  "  In  fact,"  said  they,  "  this  even- 
ing the  Governor  gives  a  little  entertainment  to  those  of 
the  patients  who  are  convalescing,  and  you  have  been,  at 
our  desire,  included  among  those  invited." 

I  expressed  my  sense  of  gratitude,  and  they  all  three 
felt  my  pulse,  and  gave  me  many  cautions  as  to  my  be- 
havior ;  telling  me  that  they  held  themselves  responsible 
for  my  good  conduct.  Of  course  I  assured  them  that  I 
should  not  misbehave,  and  as  a  stroke  of  policy,  remarked 
that  I  should  always  regard  the  taste  of  liberty  as  of  their 
procuring. 

It  is  unnecessary  to  state  with  what  intense  longing  I 
looked  forward  to  the  evening.  They  brought  me  my 
dinner  at  the  usual  time,  but  I  could  eat  nothing.  At 
nightfall  the  lamps  were  lighted  here  and  there.  The 
shadows  deepened  into  night,  and  as  time  passed  I  be- 
came more  and  more  anxious.  At  last  two  of  the  at- 
tendants came  and  unlocked  my  door. 

"Come,"  said  one,  laconically. 


32  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

This  man  was  not  the  surly,  black-faced  fellow  towards 
whom  I  had  conceived  so  great  an  aversion.  He  was  ex- 
ceedingly mild  and  gentle,  and  though  not  given  to  the 
use  of  many  words,  had  a  knack  of  imparting  much  infor- 
mation with  the  few  he  employed. 

1  followed  him  along  the  corridor,  delighted  at  the 
t  liance  of  even  that  much  freedom.  We  descended  the 
gieat  iron  stairs,  and  on  the  lower  floor  I  found  myself 
among  a  number  of  others,  whose  subdued  manner  and 
general  air  of  being  under  subjection  instantly  convinced 
me  were  convalescents  like  myself.  They  were  all  young 
men  with  one  exception,  and  he  could  hardly  have  passed 
fifty  years,  though  his  hair,  which  fell  over  his  shoulders, 
was  white  as  snow,  as  was  also  his  flowing  beard. 

The  attendant  politely  bowed,  and  waving  his  hand 
towards  me  ejaculated  :  "  Mr.  Cliff," 

Several  of  the  patients  smiled  and  greeted  me  in  a 
friendly  way,  and  I  was  speedily  informed  as  to  their 
names.  The  elderly  gentleman  was  perhaps  the  most 
civil  of  them  all ;  and  in  the  interval  that  ensued  before 
the  attendant  came  to  conduct  us  to  the  place  of  enter- 
tainment, he  became  very  communicative,  telling  me  that 
his  name  was  Bullinger,  and  confiding  in  a  whisper  that 
in  his  case  a  strange  mistake  had  been  made. 

"  The  fact  is,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  he,  shaking  his  head,  with  a 
l)itying  smile,  "  I  have  never  had  anything  the  matter  with 
me  at  all.  My  friends  won't  believe  it,  because  they  are 
so  stupid  ;  but  I  have  made  a  great  discovery."  I  began  at 
once  to  take  an  interest  in  him,  and  yet  fearing  that  it 
might  be  regarded  as  presuming,  I  refrained  from  asking 
the  nature  of  his  discovery.  He  talked  on,  amplifying 
upon  the  ignorance  and  incapacity  of  his  relatives,  and 
the  ingratitude  of  the  world,  and  was  so  exceedingly  af- 


THE    GIRL    OP'    THK    GARDEN. 


33 


fable  and  entertaining  that  I  found  myself  taking  a  sin- 
cere interest  in  his  affairs.  My  attention  having  the  effect 
to  render  him  confidential,  he  proceeded  to  relate  certain 
particulars  respecting  his  treatment,  I  felt  irresistibly 
drawn  towards  him,  and  was  debating  in  my  mind  whether 
it  would  not  be  well  to  confide  in  him  when,  lowering  his 
voice,  he  asked  if  I  had  no  dcbire  to  know  of  what  his  dis- 
covery consisted. 

I  begged  him  to  tell  me. 

"You  will  not  divulge  my  secret  ?  *'  he  asked. 
I  assured  him  that  he  might  safely  trust  me. 
"If  it  should  be  known  that  I  have  mentioned  the  mat- 
ter," said  Mr.  Bullinger,  "  it  would  be  considered  evidence 
that  I  was  not  yet  well  enough  to  be  trusted.  You  can 
see  for  yourself,"  he  added,  "  how  perfectly  sane  I  am  ; 
and  I  suppose  to  you  my  prudence  in  not  mentioning  the 
discovery  to  others  ought  to  be  sufficient  evidence  of  a 
sound  mind." 

"  Certainly,"  I  replied,  convinced  from  his  manner  that 
the  old  gentleman  had  really  been  made  a  victim  of. 
Then  in  a  fit  of  confidence  I  added,  "  I  too  am  accused 
unjustly  of  a  delusion." 

"  Ah,"  said  he,  rather  vacantly. 
"  But  tell  me  of  your  discovery,"  I  said. 
His  vacant  expression  left  him  in  an  instant. 
"  It  is  a  grand  discovery,"  he  said,  rubbing  his  thin  hands 
joyously,  "  but  one  that  as  yet  the  age  frowns  upon.     I  am 
a  very  diligent  observer  of  nature,  and  I  have  discovered — 
it  has  in  fact  been  revealed  to  me — that  spiders  have  souls." 
Perhaps   my  face,   always  tell-tale,  revealed  my  disap- 
pointment at  this   revelation.     He  seemed  to  notice  that 
I  exhibited  no  elation. 

"Are  you,  too,  incredulous?  "  he  asked,  mournfully. 
3 


34  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"I  know  as  wonderful  things,"  I  answered,  evasively. 

"  Do  you  ?     Are  you  too  a  student  of  nature  .?  " 

"To  some  extent." 

"Ah  !  then  you  can  sympathize.  You  are  one  of  the 
few  who  understand  and  appreciate.  You  are  one  who 
knows  the  abounding  mystery  of  nature." 

"  What  would  you  think  of  one,"  I  said,  experimenting, 
"  who  knew  of  a  vast  country  to  which  this  Inquirendo 
Island  was  but  a  tiny  place  ?  who  had  indeed  himself  come 
from  this  strange  land  beyond  the  sea,  where  there  were 
many  wonderful  things  wholly  strange  to  the  Inquiren- 
dians  ?  who  came  hither  in  something  that  floated  over  the 
sea  till  it  came  to  this  shore — " 

I  was  going  on,  giving  in  the  form  of  an  anecdote  my 
own  adventures,  when  Mr.  Bullinger  broke  out  laughing. 

"  You  are  a  most  genial  gentleman,"  he  said,  "  most 
companionable  and  entertaining  in  trying  to  beguile  me 
into  temporary  forgetfulness  of  my  own  misfortunes;  and 
you  exhibit  a  most  surpassing  talent.  You  would  succeed 
admirably  as  a  romancer,  for  the  imaginings  of  your  mind 
are  truly  astounding.  Why,  my  dear  sir,  if  you  had 
searched  the  universe  from  end  to  end  you  could  not 
have  conceived  of  a  more  incredible  thought.  I  presume 
that  it  was  your  object  to  delineate  by  a  few  expressive 
word-strokes  the  worst  vagaries  of  which  the  mind  could, 
by  any  possibility,  be  capable.  Permit  me  to  add  that 
what  you  have  said  is  a  fitting  prelude  to  your  own  revela- 
tion. You  have,  in  romantic  fashion,  pictured  the  ravings 
of  a  madman.  Now,  sir,  I  long  to  hear  from  your  lips  the 
secret  of  nature  that  is  yours." 

He  paused,  smiling,  and  looked  at  me  inquiringly. 

What  was  1  to  say  ?  No  doubt  something  was  expected. 
Perhaps  I  appeared  confused.  He  hastened  to  reassure  me. 


I'HE    GIRL    OF    THE    GARDEN.  35 

"  Say  on,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  he,  most  urbanely,  "  whatever 
^our  secret  may  be,  it  is  quite  safe  with  me." 

"  And  I  have  your  word  that  you  will  not  divulge — " 

"  Divulge  !  never.  I  am  a  man  of  the  highest  honor."' 
-    "  Then  listen." 

I  laid  my  hand  on  his  arm,  and  whispered  in  his  ear  ■ 
"  I  have  discovered  that  sand  fleas  can  be  developed  into 
cows  and  oxen  by  feeding  them  on — " 

"  On  what  ?  on  what  ?  " 

Mr.  BuUinger  turned  his  large  eyes  upon  mine  and 
almost  trembled  with  expectancy. 

At  this  instant  a  large  door  at  one  end  of  the  apart- 
ment in  which  we  stood  swung  open,  disclosing  amid  a 
glare  of  light  from  a  hundred  brilliant  gas-jets  a  beauti- 
ful salon,  in  which  moved  forward,  as  if  to  greet  us,  a  num- 
ber of  ladies  and  gentlemen.  In  obedience  to  a  signal 
from  our  conductor,  or  attendant,  or  keeper,  whichever 
he  might  be  styled,  we  all  turned  towards  the  open  door, 
and  to  our  promised  festivities.  As  we  advanced,  a  volume 
of  entrancing  music  burst  forth,  filling  all  the  space,  and 
thrilling  me  with  a  sense  of  indescribable  and  satisfying 
harmony.  In  the  midst  of  the  bewildering  cadences  of  the 
music,  my  friend,  who  adhered  all  the  while  closely  to  my 
side,  took  occasion  to  whisper  earnestly  in  my  ear  :  "  On 
what  ?  on  what,  Mr.  Cliff  ? — for  the  sake  of  all  the  digits, 
on  what  ? " 

I  was  too  much  annoyed  at  the  interruption  to  my  en- 
joyment of  the  melody  to  pay  special  attention  to  the 
peculiar  oath.  "  Hush  !  "  I  said,  with  some  impatience, 
"listen  !" 

"  Tell  me  on  what  you  feed  the  fleas,"  he  persisted. 
"  Tell  me  that  and  I  shall  be  content." 


36  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

"  Pure  oxygen,"  I  said,  snappishly,  uttering  at  random 
the  first  idea  that  occurred  to  me. 

Mr.  Bullinger  kept  his  word,  like  a  man  of  honor,  as 
he  had  claimed  to  be.  He  relapsed  instantly  into  a  placid 
and  well-satisfied  silence,  first  murmuring :  "  Thanks, 
many  thanks.  You  shall  see  that  I  deserve  your  confi- 
dence." 

The  extensive  corridor  in  which  we  had  been  wailing 
was,  though  lighted  by  a  number  of  bracket  lights,  dull 
and  sombre  compared  to  the  bewildering  glare  that  burst, 
like  the  delightful  music,  upon  our  senses  as  the  great 
doors  swung  outward. 

In  obedience  to  the  signal,  I  moved  forward  with  the 
rest,  Mr.  Bullinger  keeping  close  to  my  side,  somewhat  to 
my  annoyance.  We  passed  on,  through  the  wide  doorway, 
and  a  vision  of  beauty  burst  upon  my  sight.  Forgot  were 
all  the  others  in  their  gaudy  apparel;  forgot  the  bewilder- 
ing sights  and  sounds  in  the  one  glory  that  greeted  me. 
Standing  a  little  apart  from  the  rest,  her  lovely  white  hands 
clasped  in  front  of  her  and  wiih  a  wistful  expression  upon 
her  beautiful  face,  upturned  as  if  to  respond  to  the  look  I 
bent  upon  her,  was  the  girl  of  the  garden,  the  maiden 
whom,  day  by  day,  from  the  solitary  window,  1  had  watched 
among  the  flowers,  not  thinking  that  so  soon,  and  upon 
such  equal  terms,  I  should  be  permitted  to  enter  her  pres- 
ence. In  my  turn  I  was  formally  presented,  and  our  hands 
met  in  one  glad  thrill  of  joy. 

Who,  recalling  that  entrancing  hour  when  first  they  saw 
the  divinity  of  their  lives — the  girl  who  first  inspired  them 
with  the  emotion  of  love — will  not  sympathize  with  me  in 
exhibiting  a  little  exhilaration  of  spirits  in  describing  the 
charming  being  upon  whom  now  my  eyes  rested.  Even  if 
you  have  been  married  dozens  of  years  you  can  afford  to 


THE    GIRL    OF    THE    GARDEN.  37 

forget  that  little  trouble  about  the  spring  bonnet  and  lis- 
ten. Perhaps  you  are  still  a  bachelor,  through  no  fault  of 
your  own ;  or  worse  slill — some  might  cynically  say  better 
— a  divorce  court  may  have  intervened ;  but  yet  there 
must  have  been  times  when  fond  memory  has  pictured  the 
maid  as  she  first  appeared  to  you.  So,  consider  this  one 
of  those  times,  and  foregoing  your  cynicism,  let  me  tell 
you  how  sweet  Margery  Mayland  looked  that  night.  It 
needs  no  flight  of  imagination  to  enable  me  to  depict  her, 
for  I  see  her,  hovering  sprite-like,  all  clad  in  fleecy  white, 
between  the  pen  and  the  paper  even  now.  A  form  of 
beauty,  not  too  tall,  and  yet  of  that  comely  and  correct  stat- 
ure that  is  at  once  dignified  and  intensely  womanly; 
shapely,  with  the  shape  of  well  rounded  arms,  bare  to  the 
shoulders,  and  a  supple,  swaying  figure.  Beautiful,  with 
beauty  of  abundant  brown  hair,  falling  in  the  island 
fashion  in  a  rippling  wave  about  her  shoulders ;  with  the 
beauty  of  sparkling  blue  eyes,  whose  long  lashes  rested  for 
a  moment  as  I  looked  upon  her  peach-bloom  cheeks, 
whereon  the  color  came  and  went  like  the  pink  aurora, 
changing  and  glowing,  flushing  or  paling,  as  the  thought 
or  fancy  changed,  even  as  the  Arctic  blazonry  pales  and 
flushes  on  the  cheek  of  the  fair  Northern  sky. 

I  know  if  you  had  seen  this  maid  that  evening  you 
would  pardon  any  attempt  at  poetry  of  description,  even 
if  futile  to  arouse  the  old  emotions  in  your  stoic  senses. 

We — the  half  dozen  or  so  convalescents — were  speed- 
ily presented,  one  after  another,  to  the  assembled  guests. 
There  were  altogether  about  half  a  score,  and  of  these 
several  were  ladies ;  but  with  only  two  have  we,  in  this 
narration,  concern.  The  young  girl's  mother  was  pre- 
sented, a  mild,  gentle,  blue-eyed  lady,  with  long  white 
hair  wound  about  her  head,  and  a  soft,  low  voice. 


38  INQUIRKNDO    ISLAND. 

The  Governor  of  the  institution,  husband  of  this  lady 
and  father  of  Margery,  was  tall,  dignified,  and  elegant. 
A  man  of  commanding  presence  and  of  rather  austere 
bearing,  he  moved  about  as  a  gentleman  among  his  guests, 
talking  now  to  one  and  again  to  another  and  affable  to 
all.  The  three  doctors  were  also  there,  smiling  and  cour- 
teous, but  I  could  see  watchful  also,  as  were  the  half 
dozen  attendants,  among  whom,  to  my  disgust,  I  recog- 
nized the  black-browed  turnkey  who  had  been  my  abomi- 
nation from  the  first.  None,  however,  were  obtrusive,  and 
while  the  music  went  on,  in  fitful,  fanciful  cadences,  I  con- 
trived to  bring  about  an  interview  apart  from  the  rest 
with  Margery.  To  do  this  required  some  little  tact,  for 
my  companion  of  the  outer  corridor,  Mr.  BuUinger,  was 
pertinacious  and  strove  to  affix  himself  to  me,  doubtless 
with  a  view  to  further  information  respecting  the  evolu- 
tion of  the  oxen, 

I  think  that  from  the  first  moment  our  eyes  met  there 
was  a  subtle  attraction  between  Margery  and  me.  At 
all  events,  in  the  course  of  an  hour  we  were  together  in  a 
recess  of  the  large  apartment  and  talking  like  old  friends 
while  the  others  were  waltzing  to  the  strains  of  the  band, 
A  curtain  of  fine  but  heavy  fabric  was  swung  over  the 
embrasure — a  curtain  embroidered  with  golden  figures 
on  a  green  ground,  looped  up  with  heavy  gold  cord,  and 
pinned  with  fire-gilt  rampant  lions.  The  floor  was  of 
iron  of  most  peculiar  texture,  inlaid  in  squares  and  figures 
of  varied  hues,  with  an  artistic  blending  of  shape  and  color. 
Tapestries  hung  from  the  walls,  and  pictures  of  strange, 
uncouth  design  were  pendant  here  and  there.  The  arched 
roof  was  of  alternate  beams  and  panels,  the  beams  bev- 
elled and  of  lustreless  gilt,  the  panels  deep  blue,  studded 
with  golden  stars. 


CHAPTER  V. 


IN     THE     ALCOVE. 


QO  Strange,  so  extraordinary  indeed,  were  all  the  de- 
'^  tails  of  that  place,  and  so  peculiar  the  various  inci- 
dents of  the  dancing,  the  music,  the  supper,  and  the 
devices  by  which  amusement  was  provided,  that  in  a 
description  of  these  things  alone  there  might  be  sufficient 
interest ;  but  I  am  not  ashamed  to  confess  that  in  the 
enjoyment  of  the  delicious  society  of  Margery  I  was  to  a 
great  extent  oblivious  of  all  else.  I  could  not  avoid  per- 
ceiving that  the  manners  of  all  present  were  cultured, 
and  differed  in  no  essential  respect,  save  in  trifling  points 
of  precedence  and  etiquette,  from  those  of  the  best  so- 
ciety to  which  I  had  been  accustomed  at  home.  Perhaps 
not  exactly  of  all  present.  I  shall  have  to  except  one 
individual,  whose  uncouth  and  unmannerly  ways  were, 
before  the  festivity  was  over,  a  source  of  considerable 
annoyance.  But  this  will  more  fully  appear  afterwards. 
Let  me  now  relate  something  of  the  conversation  that  I 
had  with  Margery. 

We  waltzed  together,  swinging  round  the  vast  apart- 
ment to  the  time  of  the  fifes  and  cornets  of  the  band.  Oh, 
that  waltz  !  how  charming  it  was,  and  yet  more  charming 
still  was  the  time  I  passed  in  the  curtained  alcove. 

Margery  appeared  a  little  shy  at  first,  and  this  was  no 
doubt  very  natural,  as  she  must  have  regarded  me  as  one 
of  whom  it  would  be  well  to  beware,  so  far  as  any  sud- 

39 


46  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

den  intimacy  went  Being  tlie  daughter  of  the  Governor 
of  the  asylum  she  was  in  a  measure  conversant  with  the 
peculiarities  of  the  convalescents,  and  probably  past  ex- 
perience had  told  her  that  there  was  little  or  no  danger 
in  any  intercourse  with  those  favored  with  invitations. 

Still  I  perceived  some  little  evidence  of  shyness,  and 
being  piqued  thereby,  strove  to  impress  her  with  the 
fact — tome  undoubted — that  my  faculties  were  unimpaired. 
I  said  something  to  this  effect. 

"  You  are  quite  well  now,  are  you  ? "  she  asked,  de- 
murely. 

1  looked  at  her  full  in  the  face.  She  blushed  slightly 
and  I  began  to  laugh. 

"  Why  do  you  laugh  ?  "  said  Margery. 

"  Oh,  I  was  going  to  tell  you  something  ;  but  on  reflec- 
tion I  conclude  it  would  be  better  not." 

"  You  had  better  tell  me,"  she  said,  very  sweetly  ,•  '"  you 
may  trust  me,  even  if  I  am  the  Governor's  daughter," 

"Well,  I  will  trust  you,"  said  I,  impulsively. 

"  Thank  you." 

"  Though  I  know  what  you  will  think — " 

"  I  will  tell  you  what  I  think,  Mr.  Cliff.  I  can  promise 
that." 

''  I  was  going  to  tell  you  that  there  really  never  has 
been  anything  the  matter  wi:h  me." 

A  shade  came  at  once  over  Margery's  face. 

"  I  knew  that  I  had  better  not  say  that,"  I  said. 

"  Why  ?  "  she  answered,  looking  down. 

"  Because  you  would  not  believe  me." 

"  I  did  not  say  so,  Mr.  Cliff."'  she  answered,  soberly. 

"  But  I  know  what  you  think.  You  need  not  tell  me, 
for  I  know," 


IN    THE   ALCOVE.  41 

"  Then  you  need  not  ask  me,  and  I  am  relieved  from  m 
promise." 

She  looked  up  again  and  laughed. 

"  I  suppose  almost  all  who  come  here  say  the  same 
thing,"  I  said,  "do  they  not.-"' 

"  Sometimes,  not  always." 

"  Do  you  ever  believe  them  .''  " 

"  I  have  never  believed  any  one — before," 

"  Ah,  then,"  I  said,  joyously,  "  you  do,  after  all,  believe 
me?" 

She  was  silent. 

"There  is  Mr.  Bullinger,"  I  said,  as  that  person  paced 
along  in  front  of  the  alcove,  looking  in  with  an  impatient 
expression,  "  would  you  believe  him  if  he  told  you  that  ?  " 

"  No  indeed  ; — but  still,  he  would  be  likely  to  say  so. 
They  all  do." 

So  saying,  Margery  sighed. 

"All  but  me,"  I  said  softly,  "I  do  not  so  pretend.  I 
know  that  I  have  been  ill  and  that  I  yet  require  care  ;  but 
I  am  also  very  sure  now  that  it  will  not  be  for  long." 

Instantly  into  the  girl's  face  there  came  an  expression 
of  delight.  She  raised  her  sweet  blue  eyes  directly  to  my 
own.     She  blushed  vividly  as  she  said  : 

"  How  glad  I  am,  Mr.  Cliff,  to  hear  you  speak  so.  Papa 
tells  me  that  the  doctors  all  say  it  is  a  sure  sign  of  recov- 
ery.     I  am  so  glad  for  your  sake." 

"  Do  they  say  that  it  is  a  sign  of  recover}^  when  one  real- 
izes his  illness  and  the  necessity  of  a  cure  .''  " 

"Yes." 

"Then  I  must  be  getting  well,"  I  responded,  affecting 
great  joy,  "  for  I  do  realize  that." 

"  So  Dr.  Setbon  says,"  said  Margery. 

"  Dr.  Setbon  ?     Which  is  he  ?  " 


42  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"The  oldest  of  the  three  doctors  who  have  the  care  of 
the  patients — the  one  with  long  white  hair." 

"  So  he  has  been  speaking  to  you  of  me,  has  he  ?  " 

"  Not  to  me  exactly.     I  heard  him  talking  to  papa." 

"And  the  other  doctors — do  they  say  the  same.-*  " 

"Oh,  yes." 

"  And  your  father  ?  " 

"  Papa  is  guided  by  the  doctors'  advice.  You  know 
that  he  has  really  no  power  to  say  that  any  one  is  well. 
He  has  to  recommend." 

"  Recommend  that  they  be  discharged  ?  " 

"  Yes,  he  recommends  those  he  thinks  ought  to  be  dis- 
charged, when  the  doctors  agree,  to  the  judge." 

"  And  do  you  think  he  will  recommend  me  ? " 

"Oh,  I  am  sure  he  will.  The  doctors  all  say  that  you 
have  gotten  over — what  they  called  the  delusion.  You 
won't  mind  my  calling  it  that  now,  will  you  ?  " 

"  Of  course  not,"  I  said,  lying  shamelessly.  "  I  under- 
stand myself  that  it  was  delusion." 

"  I  am  sure  it  will  not  be  long  now  before  you  will  be 
entirely  free,"  she  continued,  "  and  I  am  so  glad  for  your 
sake.  Every  one  says  so — at  least  they  all  do  who  have 
any  power;  papa  and  the  doctors." 

"  You  speak  as  if  there  were  others  who  did  not  favor 
my  release.  Miss  Mayland.     Who  are  they  ?  " 

"  I  do  not  know  that  I  ought  to  speak  of  them." 

"  I  shall  regard  the  confidence  as  sacred,"  I  murmured 
softly.  "  Tell  me,  please,  I  should  be  on  my  guard."  My 
manner  was  so  persuasive  and  my  voice  so  beseeching  that 
Margery  yielded. 

"  Yes,  there  are  two  who  are  opposed  to  your  release. 
I  will  tell  you  this  frankly  and  trust  to  you.  One  is  Mr. 
Gallwood— " 


IN    THE    ALCOVE.  43 

"  Gallwood  !  "  I  exclaimed,  vehemently,  "  that  black- 
looking  turnkey !  " 

Margery  blushed  and  looked  pained. 

"  He  is  certainly  dark  complexioned,"  she  said,  mildly, 
"but,  Mr.  Cliff,  he  is  not  a  turnkey.  He  is  the  assistant 
superintendent — and  besides,"  she  added,  after  a  short 
pause,  "  he  is  papa's  cousin." 

"  Your  father's  cousin  !  That  is  a  surprise.  Then  he 
must  be  yours  also." 

"  Oh,  no,  he  is  not  mine.  Cousinship,  you  know,  only 
goes  one  remove."     She  blushed  again  very  deeply. 

"That  is  true,"  I  responded,  "  I  had  forgotten  that ;  but 
why  should  he  be  unwilling  that  I  should  be  free  ?  " 

"I  cannot  tell;  but  he  persists  in  declaring  that  you  are 
not  yet  recovered." 

"  Who  else  is  there.  Miss  Mayland  ?  You  spoke  of  an- 
other." 

"  It  is  the  chaplain." 

"  Mr.  Nudwink .?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  And  what  cause  has  he  to  be  unfriendly  ?  "  I  asked  in 
amazement. 

"  I  think  it  is  on  religious  grounds,"  she  responded, 
with  some  hesitation. 

"  Religious  grounds  !  "  I  said,  in  more  amazement  still, 
"  what  does  he  know  of  my  religious  convictions  ?  " 

"  Hasn't  he  spoken  on  the  subject  of  religion  to  you  .''  " 

"  Not  one  word,"  I  replied,  solemnly. 

"  That  is  certainly  very  strange.  I  heard  papa  and  Dr. 
Setbon  talking  with  the  chaplain,  and  I  am  sure  Mr.  Nud- 
wink's  opposition  is  all  on  account  of  what  he  called  your 
irreligion." 

"  What  did  he  say  ?  " 


44  INQUIRENDO    ISLAN'D. 

"  He  said  that  your  views  of  religion  were  so  absurd  as 
to  indicate  an  unsettled  mind." 

"  How  extraordinary  !  "  I  exclaimed,  "  how  very  extraor- 
dinary, when  not  a  single  word  has  passed  between  us  on 
the  subject — but — stop  ! — I  do  remember  that  he  spoke  of 
my  attending  church,  and  said  something  that  1  thought 
very  impertinent  about  the  instruction  my  mother  gave 
me  ;  but  he  dropped  that,  and  began  talking  about  arith- 
metic till  I  confess  I  thought  he  was  by  far  the  crazier  of 
the  two." 

Margery  laughed. 

"  You  made  him  angry,  Mr.  Cliff ;  you  did,  indeed.  It 
was  unwise  ;  but  he  is  3.  good  man  if  he  is  persistent  and 
peculiar.  Promise  me  when  he  comes  again  to  talk  to 
you  that  you  will  listen." 

"Of  course  I  shall  listen.  I  did  listen,  and  I  was  very 
polite  to  him  notwithstanding  all  his  nonsense." 

"  He  says  that  it  was  you  who  talked  nonsense." 

"  He  is  an  old  fossil,"  I  said,  indignantly. 

"  I  don't  mind  telling  you  that  I  am  of  the  same  opin- 
ion ■,  but  Mr.  Nudwitik  is  very  good  ;  mamma  thinks  so 
much  of  him.     She  says  he  is  so  spiritually  minded." 

"  It  is  your  mother  who  is  spiritually  minded,"  I  re- 
sponded, gallantly. 

"  Yes,  mamma  is  very  lovely,"  said  Margery. 

"  Is  Mr.  Nudwink  married  ?  "   I  asked. 

''  No,  indeed;  but  why  do  you  ask  that  question;  does 
it  appear  to  you  that  he  is  the  sort  of  gentleman  that  a 
lady  could  love  ?  " 

I  shuddered. 

"  I  should  say  not,  most  decidedly  ,  but  speaking  of 
marriage,  may  I  ask  a  question?" 


IN   THE   ALCOVE,  45 

I  looked  at  her  searchingly,  and  her  eyes  fell  before 
mine  as  she  inclined  her  head. 

"  Are  you  engaged  ?  "  I  whispered. 

She  shook  her  head  with  a  little  coquettish  movement. 
"  No,  I  am  not  engaged  ;  and  what  is  more,"  she  added, 
looking  up  with  sudden  vivacity,  "  I  do  not  propose  to 
be." 

This  reply  was  a  discouragement.  Not  that  I  had  any 
definite  purpose  then  formed  respecting  Margery,  but  her* 
tone  was  so  determined  that  I  interpreted  it  to  mean  a 
fixed  opposition  to  matrimony. 

"  That  will  be  some  man's  great  loss,  I  fear." 

"  Indeed  it  will,"  she  responded  energetically,  and  then 
recollecting  herself,  added  hastily,  "  Oh,  what  am  I  saying.? 
That  was  all  foolishness — I  only  meant  that  I  am  yet  too 
young.  I  am  only  seventeen,  Mr.  Cliff,  and  that  is  too 
young  to  be  thinking  of  such  a  thing." 

"  Decidedly  so,"  I  answered,  "  if  such  a  thing  be  the 
wrong  man." 

"  Who  told  you  it  was  the  wrong  man  }  "  Again  she 
raised  her  eyes  to  mine. 

"  I  guessed  it." 

"  Are  you  in  the  habit  of  making  such  guesses?  " 

"  Did  I  guess  right  ?  " 

"  Perhaps,"  she  answered  in  a  low  tone. 

"  Tell  me,"  I  said  persuasively,  "tell  me  about  it.  If 
you  are  in  any  trouble.  Miss  Margery,  tell  me  about  it 
please,  perhaps  I  can  help  you." 

Margery  toyed  with  the  deep  fringe  of  her  fleecy  dress, 
her  eyes  cast  down. 

"  Ought  I }  "  she  murmured. 

I  was  about  to  renew  my  persuasions  when  Mr.  Bul- 
linger,  whom   I  had  observed,  not  without  apprehension, 


46  in'ol'ikl:ndu  island. 

pass  and  repass  the  alcove  with  staring  eyes,  suddenly 
stopped  in  his  walk  and  advanced  a  step  within. 

I  rose  to  my  feet  instantly,  a  tritie  vexed  to  be  thus 
interrupted. 

"What  do  you  wish,  Mr.  Bullinger?  "  I  said,  perhaps  a 
Httle  hastily 

"The  oxen,  the  oxen,"  he  answered,  his  voice  trembling 
and  his  eyes  bloodshot  and  gleaming,  "  I  must  know  more. 
You  must  spare  me  the  time  to  explain  your  method.  I 
have  waited  till  I  can  stand  it  no  longer." 

"Another  time,  Mr.  Bullinger,  I  shall  be  most  happy." 

"  No,  now,  now."     He  stamped  his  foot  angrily. 

"  That  is  impossible,"  I  said,  firmly. 

"  Tell  me,"  he  cried,  in  a  voice  husky  with  passion,  "  tell 
me  or  I  shall  reveal  the  whole  thing.  I  shall  divulge  the 
fact  of  your  insanity — your  hopeless  insanity." 

"  You  are  forgetting  yourself,  Mr.  Bullinger,"  I  answered, 
sharply,  "you  forget  that  you  are  in  the  presence  of  a 
lady." 

"  So  you  refuse,  do  you  .■'  " 

"Most  certainly  I  do,  and  I  request  you  to  withdraw  at 
once." 

He  became  at  once  livid  with  passion.  Words  burst 
forth  from  his  lips  in  a  torrent  that  caused  him  to  gulp 
and  gurgle.  Stammering  and  choking,  his  words  thumped 
out,  like  wine  from  an  upturned  decanter. 

I  pitied  the  man,  and  yet  fearing,  for  Margery's  sake, 
lest  some  violence  should  be  attempted,  I  made  haste  to 
place  myself  between  her  and  the  madman. 

This  action  irritated  him  to  an  extraordinary  degree. 
Shrieking  out,  "Tell  me  your  method — if  you  don't,  I'll 
have  it  out  of  your  throat,"  he  advanced  toward  me. 

Mr.  BuUinger  was  not  a  very  large  man,  and  I  had  no 


IN    THE    ALCOVE.  47 

fear  whatever  of  the  result  of  a  personal  encounter;  yel  I 
felt  an  extreme  pity  for  him.  Poor  fellow,  he  could  not 
help  his  delusion.  I  turned  my  head — "  What  shall  I  do, 
Miss  Margery .''  "  I  asked.  "  Do  nothing,"  she  replied, 
"  I  am  used  to  these  things."  So  speaking,  she  drew  aside 
the  drapery  that  hung  over  the  alcove,  and  touched  a  gilt 
button  in  the  iron  wall. 

Two  or  three  sharp  clangs  as  of  little  gong  bells  were 
heard  at  a  distance.  Mr.  Bullinger  appeared  to  hear  them 
also,  and  they  rendered  him  frantic.  He  fairly  foamed  at 
the  mouth  as  he  rushed  forward  towards  me,  his  fists 
doubled  up  menacingly.  He  threw  himself  upon  me 
white  with  passion,  striking  out  aimlessly  right  and  left 


CHAPTER  VI. 


THE   CONVALESCENT   COURT. 


TV /r  ARGERY'S  presence  of  mind  did  not  desert  her ;  she 
•^  ■*■  rose  at  once  and  stood  in  silence.  There  was  a 
sound  of  hurrying  feet,  making  their  way  among  the  danc- 
ers; for  the  dance  still  went  on,  and  as  Mr.  Bullinger, 
white  with  fury,  assaulted  me,  two  of  the  keepers,  followed 
by  the  black-browed  Mr.  Gall  wood,  entered  the  alcove. 

Two  or  three  of  Mr.  BuUinger's  frenzied  blows  I  had 
parried ;  but  he  was  wary  and  agile,  and  moreover  very 
mad,  and  the  third  time  he  struck  out  his  sharp  knuckles 
made  themselves  felt  upon  my  lower  lip.  For  an  instant, 
realizing  that  he  had  hurt  me,  I  forgot  my  caution,  and 
mad  in  my  turn,  I  beat  down  his  guard,  and  launching 
out,  came  home  upon  the  man's  eye  and  sent  him  sprawl- 
ing on  the  floor. 

At  this  very  instant  in  rushed  the  attendants,  and  Gall- 
wood,  despite  my  protestations,  seized  me  by  the  arm. 

"Let  go,"  I  exclaimed  passionately,  struggling  to  free 
myself.  But  he  only  clung  the  closer,  and  one  of  the  oth- 
ers, while  Bullinger  was  led  away,  came  and  held  me. 

I  looked  around  in  despair  for  Margery,  but  she  had 
left  the  alcove. 

"  What  is  the  meaning  of  this  outrage  ? "  I  asked  defi- 
antly. 

Gallwood  sneered. 

"  Outrage,  indeed,"  he  answered  sullenly.    "  This  comes 
48 


THE   CONVALESCENT   COURT.  49 

from  letting  you  out  too  soon.  We'll  have  you  back 
again,  my  fine  fellow.  I  see  you  are  violent  yet — oh,  you 
need  a  little  taking  down,  and  you  are  likely  to  get  it. 
Now  march." 

Of  what  avail  would  any  further  struggles  be  ?  Margery 
had  apparently  deserted  me.  Well  aware  that  any  resist- 
ance would  be  futile,  I  submitted  with  an  ill  grace,  and 
was  conducted  ignominiously  back  to  my  solitary  room. 
The  music  sounded  ominous  and  harsh  and  discordant; 
it  seemed  to  speak  of  treachery  and  desolation,  and  for  a 
time  when  I  found  myself  alone  it  was  only  to  brood 
despairingly  over  my  forlorn  condition.  As  Gallwood 
shut  and  bolted  the  iron  door,  he  leered  at  me  through 
the  grating. 

*'  It  won't  do,  you  know,  to  try  your  games  on  me,"  he 
remarked  savagely.  "  I've  been  watching  you,  and  I  know 
what  you're  trying  to  do.  Let  me  tell  you  you  can't 
come  it." 

Perhaps  unwisely,  I  retorted  with  some  imprecation, 
letting  the  scoundrel  know  that  I  had  no  fears  of  him. 

He  went  away  with  his  usual  odious  grin  upon  his  face, 
and  I  stood  for  a  moment  glaring  after  him,  and  feeling 
that  if  only  once  I  was  free  how  rejoiced  I  should  feel  to 
stand  face  to  face  with  the  man. 

Though  Margery  had  left  me  with  such  apparent 
unkindness  in  the  alcove,  yet,  as  I  afterwards  discovered, 
it  had  been  to  seek  her  father  on  my  behalf.  The  Gov- 
ernor, a  stern  man  and  conscientious  in  the  discharge  of 
his  duty,  had  been  unwilling  at  the  time  to  interfere,  know- 
ing that  Galhvood  was  himself  attending  to  the  matter. 
So  it  had  happened  that  I  was  dragged  away  in  company 
with  the  unfortunate  BuUinger,  and  like  him  regarded  as 
one  whom  it  would  be  unsafe  to  trust. 
4 


50  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Although  Marger}''s  persuasions  had  not  prevailed  with 
her  father  that  night,  she  had  renewed  her  efforts  in  the 
morning,  and  by  this  time  had  cnlisled  her  mother  also  in 
the  endea\or. 

Governor  Mayland  then  sent  for  Gallwood,  and  the  two 
had  a  private  conference.  To  this  finally  Dr.  Setbon  had 
been  summoned,  and  it  was  at  last  determined,  much  to 
Gallwood's  chagrin,  that  a  special  examination  should  be 
accorded  to  me. 

I  had  been  gazing  out  upon  the  little  garden  where  first 
I  had  seen  Margery,  and  was  terribly  depressed  in  spirits, 
when  there  was  a  rattling  at  my  door  and  the  three  doctors 
entered.  This  time,  primed  by  Gallwood,  they  were  scep- 
tical enough,  and  it  required  all  my  self-command  to  relate 
without  acrimony  the  incidents  of  the  previous  evening.  In 
the  end,  to  my  great  joy,  I  succeeded  in  impressing  the  doc- 
tors if  not  with  an  assured  conviction  of  my  sanity^  at  least 
with  doubts.  They  were  all  honest  men,  and  did  not  fail  to 
understand,  in  some  degree,  the  position  in  which  I  had 
been  placed  by  Bullinger's  importunities.  They  left  me 
with  assurances  that  I  might  trust  to  them  for  justice.  This 
comforted  me  beyond  measure.  So  I  waited  all  that  day  and 
part  of  the  next  in  the  hope  that  every  moment  would  bring 
me  release.  At  the  usual  time  my  meals  were  brought ;  but 
I  could  hardly  bear  to  leave  the  window,  where  I  watched 
expectant  of  the  lovely  form  of  Margery.  Once  the  vil- 
lanous  Gallwood  came  to  my  door,  and  looking  in,  scowled 
at  me  hatefully.  Again  the  tall,  angular  form  of  Mr.  Nud- 
wink  a])peared  in  the  corridor;  but  he  strode  past  my  cell 
without  even  looking  in,  and  with  an  expression  that 
seemed  to  me  one  of  great  ill-nature  ujdou  his  uncomely 
face. 


THE    CONVALKSCENT    COUKT. 


SI 


About  noon  the  next  day  J  Jr.  Setbon,  accompanied  1)\ 
one  of  ilic  attendants,  appeared. 

"Come  with  us,  Mr.  CHff,"  said  the  doctor,  kindly. 

1  obeyed,  of  course,  with  much  alacrity,  and  descending 
to  the  lower  floor,  we  were  ushered  into  the  Governor's 
private  room. 

I  had  been  presented  to  my  Margery's  father  at  the  ball, 
and  then  he  had  been  all  affability  and  good  humor. 
Now,  however,  he  was  on  duty,  and  I  found  him  strict, 
sober,  sedate,  and  unapproachable. 

"Take  a  chair,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said,  in  a  voice  of  military 
precision. 

I  obeyed  promptly. 

"Mr.  Cliff,"  he  continued,  "  your  case  is  one  that  seems 
to  be  a  peculiar  one,  and  to  demand  a  most  thorough  in- 
vestigation. At  the  ball,  night  before  last,  to  which  you 
were  admitted,  by  the  advice  of  the  physicians,  as  a  con- 
valescent, you  suffered  yourself  to  be  betrayed  into  ex- 
citement ;  you  showed  irritation,  and  you  ended  by  com- 
mitting an  assault  upon  another  of  the  convalescents,  one 
Bullinger." 

"  It  was  he  that  assaulted  me,"  I  said  ;  "  I  was  forced  to 
defend  myself.  Your  daughter,  Miss  Margery,  can  tell 
you  that  I  am  speaking  the  truth." 

Mr.  Mayland  waved  his  hand. 

"Allow  me  to  conclude  my  remarks,  Mr,  Clifif.  Do  not 
permit  yourself  to  become  excited.  You  will  be  allowed 
ample  opportunity  to  present  your  case.  As  I  before 
stated,  you  committed  an  assault  upon  Mr.  Bullinger.  As 
to  whether  you  or  he  was  the  aggressor  that  remains  to  be 
determined.  It  is  a  serious  thing  and  one  that  our  law 
does  not  tolerate,  the  keeping  of  an  innocent  or  sane  man 
under  restraint  ;  but  it  is  even  more  serious  to  let  loose 


52  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

upon  society  one  who  niighi  prove  dangerous  to  its  peace. 
It  is  true  that  you  have  been  duly  pronounced  conva- 
lescent, and  as  such  entitled  to  a  certain  limited  amount 
of  freedom,  consistent  with  your  own  safety,  and  with  the 
safety  of  those  about  you.  At  the  ball  you  were  on  trial, 
and  it  is  now  a  disputed  question  as  to  whether  on  that 
occasion,  in  your  encounter  with  ]\Ir.  BuUinger,  you  did  or 
did  not  give  evidence  of  a  want  of  control  over  yourself 
sufficient  to  deprive  you  of  your  convalescent  privileges. 
It  is  my  duty  to  decide  this  matter.  If  you  choose  you 
may  employ  counsel,  and  this  course  I  strongly  advise. 
If,  however,  you  decide  to  conduct  your  own  case,  I  wish 
to  warn  you  that,  not  only  will  the  previous  facts  be  con- 
sidered, but  your  actions,  bearing,  and  words  during  the 
examination  will  also  be  considered,  and  have  great 
weight  in  the  decision." 

While  the  Governor  was  speaking,  a  door  at  one  end  of 
the  room  opened  and  Gallwood  and  Nudwink  entered. 

"  What  is  your  decision,  Mr.  Cliff?  "  said  the  Governor. 
"  Shall  counsel  be  assigned  to  you  or  not  ? "' 

I  cast  one  glance  at  those  two  men,  both  standing  by 
the  door,  stiff  and  sombre. 

"  If  it  involves  any  special  question  of  law,"  I  replied, 
guardedly,  "  I  shall  have  to  ask  the  aid  of  counsel." 

The  faces  of  the  two  men  clouded  directly. 

"Only  matters  of  fact  are  to  be  considered,"  said  the 
Governor. 

"Then,"  I  responded,  "  I  shall  conduct  my  own  case." 

Mr.  Gallvvood's  expression  changed  instantly,  a  peculiar 
light  shone  in  his  savage  eye,  and  Mr.  Nudwink  also  ap- 
peared to  be  well  satisfied  with  my  answer. 

"Very  well,"  said  the  Governor,  serenely;  then  turning 
round  in  his  chair  he  addressed  Mr.  Gallwood  : 


THE   CONVALESCENT    COURT.  53 

"  Are  you  ready  to  proceed  ?  " 

"We  are,"  responded  Gallwood. 

"  The  convalescent  court  is  now  open,"  continued  the 
Governor,  in  a  louder  tone. 

At  these  words  a  young  man  in  uniform  stepped  for- 
ward, and  tapping  three  times  on  the  floor  with  a  staff  of 
steel,  cried,  "  Oyez  !  oyez  !  oyez !  the  convalescent  court 
stands  open." 

The  door  by  which  Gallwood  and  Nudwink  had  pre- 
viously entered  now  again  swung  wide,  and  the  two  as- 
sociate doctors  entered,  followed  by  Mrs.  Mayland  and 
her  daughter  Margery.  Margery's  eyes  were  cast  down, 
and  they  all  took  the  seats  assigned  to  them  without  a 
word. 

"  The  defence  will  now  open,"  said  the  Governor,  "  and 
in  accordance  with  the  law,  and  the  will  of  the  crown,  I 
here  exhibit  my  writ  under  seal." 

A  document  was  produced  by  an  official,  and  held  up 
tor  inspection. 

"  Mr,  Cliff,"  continued  the  Governor,  "  it  is  now  your 
privilege  either  to  relate  what  occurred  yourself,  or  to  call 
such  witnesses  as  you  may  desire  to  have  heard  respecting 
the  occurrence  of  night  before  last." 

In  response  to  this  intimation  I  told  my  story  ;  making 
it  as  short  as  possible,  and  being  particular  to  evince  no 
hostility  to  Mr.  Bullinger.  When  I  had  finished  I  had  the 
satisfaction  to  perceive  that  the  Governor  appeared  sat- 
isfied, and  Gallwood  and  Nudwink  were  scowling.  With 
some  trepidation  I  then  requested  Margery  to  testify. 
She  told  her  story  quietly,  without  questioning,  and  fully 
corroborated  all  that  I  had  said.  After  this  the  doctors 
in  turn  testified,  at  my  request,  stating  that  they  had  made 
certain  examinations  touching  my  mental  condition,  and 


54  INQUIRENnO    ISLAND. 

that,  in  their  opinion,  I  was  and  had  been  for  some  time 
in  a  convalescent  state,  and  that,  assuming  the  facts  to  be 
as  stated  bv  myself  and  Margery,  nothing  that  happened 
had  caused  them  to  alter  their  views. 

When  the  third  doctor  had  finished  testifying  there  was 
a  short  interval  of  silence,  and  then  I  was  asked  by  the 
Governor  if  I  closed  my  case. 

I  signified  that  there  was  nothing  further  to  be  offered 
on  my  behalf,  and  then  Gallwood  came  forward  and  told 
his  story  of  the  encounter.  What  he  said  was  fair  enough. 
In  fact  so  fair  that  I  was  in  the  highest  degree  astonished 
to  hear  him.  When  he  had  finished  he  called  the  doctors 
one  after  another,  but,  to  my  great  astonishment,  he  asked 
them  only  one  question  :  "  Had  they  conversed  with  me 
at  any  time  upon  religious  subjects  ?  " 

To  this  query  they  all  responded,  "  No." 

"The  Reverend  Mr.  Nudwink,"  said  Gallwood. 

With  a  self-satisfied  smirk  the  chaplain  came  forward, 
and  sitting  down  leisurely  in  the  witness  chair,  crossed  his 
legs,  and  folded  his  thin  arms. 

"  You  have  attended  Mr.  Cliff  constantly  since  his  ad- 
mission to  the  asylum,  have  you  not  ?  " 

The  chaplain  bowed. 

"  Have  you  had  opportunities  for  frequent  conversation 
with  him  in  respect  to  his  religious  belief  ? " 

"  I  have." 

"  In  your  capacity  as  his  spiritual  adviser,  have  you  at 
any  time  become  informed  as  to  his  views  of  religious  sub- 
jects ?" 

"  Until  he  was  pronounced  convalescent,"  responded 
Nudwink,  "  I  of  course  refrained  from  unduly  exciting  him, 
although,  as  with  all  the  other  unfortunates  committed  to 


THE    CONVALESCENT    COURT.  55 

my  spiritual  cliarge,  1  caused  him  to  be  providetl  with 
a  copy  of  the  Arithmetic." 

I  started.  "  There  was  that  infernal  arithmetic  again," 
I  thought.  Perhaps  Gallwood  perceived  my  slight  emo- 
tion. He  seemed  to  brighten  perceptibly,  and  went  on 
with  his  questions  : 

"  Since  he  was  declared  convalescent  have  you  had  any 
conversation  with  him,  and  if  so,  what  was  the  nature  of 
such  conversation  ?  " 

"  The  day  that  he  was  pronounced  convalescent  I  visited 
him,  and  I  regret  to  state  that  not  only  was  he  perverse 
and  flippant  in  the  extreme,  and  even  derisive  in  his  treat- 
ment of  sacred  things,  but  he  seemed  to  be  absolutely  in- 
sensible to  all  good  influences  ;  and  not  only  that,  but  he 
manifested  the  most  utter  ignorance  upon  religious  sub- 
jects, as  well  as  profound  indifference  to  them." 

"  Did  you  question  him  as  to  his  religious  faith  ?" 

"  No,  I  found  that  to  be  quite  futile." 

"  On  what  account  ?  " 

"  Solely  on  account  of  his  utter  insensibility." 

"  To  what  did  you  attribute  that  ?  " 

"  I  was  at  a  loss  to  know.  At  first  it  appeared  to  me  to 
be  either  complete  depravity,  or  the  grossest  levity  ;  but 
after  thinking  the  matter  over  more  deliberately,  I  have 
become  convinced,  with  all  due  deference  to  the  previously 
expressed  opinions  of  Dr.  Setbon  and  his  learned  associ- 
ates, that  his  want  of  comprehension  and  disregard  of 
religion  was,  and  I  may  say  is,  due  to  some  peculiar 
mania.  I  can  account  for  his  manifest  peculiarities  on  no 
other  ground." 

"  Give  some  instances  of  these  peculiarities,  Mr.  Nud- 
wink,  as  they  came  under  your  observation." 

"  In  the  course  of  this  conversation  which  I  have   men- 


56  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

tioned,  I  took  occasion  to  ask  Mr.  Cliff  if  he  had  ever 
been  instructed  by  his  mother  in  respect  to  Mathematics. 
His  answer  astonished  me.  He  gave  me  the  information 
that  all  he  had  learned  of  that  great  theme  had  been 
; aught  him  by  a  governess  or  at  a  day-school.  This  he 
said,  although  having  previously  admitted  that  his  mother 
was  a  pious  woman,  and  an  attendant,  as  I  understood 
him,  of  the  Established  church.  There  was  some  more 
conversation  of  a  similar  character,  and  his  remarks  were 
of  so  peculiar  a  nature  that  I  determined  to  probe  the 
thing  to  the  bottom,  and  to  that  end  I  propounded  a  series 
of  questions.  His  replies  to  these  queries  convinced  me 
that  his  mind  was  either  given  over  to  corrupt  influences 
or  was  still  darkened.  I  trust  for  the  sake  of  his  soul  it 
may  be  only  the  latter." 

As  he  said  this,  Mr.  Nudwink  eyed  me  grimly. 

"  You  had  better  state  your  questions  and  Mr.  Cliff's  re- 
plies," said  Gallwood,  cheerfully,  seeing  that  apparently 
his  cause  was  prospering  in  Nudwink's  hands. 

"  I  asked  him,"  continued  the  witness,  " '  Who  was 
Mathematics  ? '  and  he  replied,  with  the  most  irreverent 
manner,  'You  don't  mean  who,  you  mean  what.'  As- 
tounded beyond  measure,  I  then  asked  him,  '  Who  was 
Numbers  ? '  He  replied  in  exactly  the  same  way  as 
before — " 

"  By  calling  Numbers,  what .''  "  said  Gallwood. 

"Yes." 

"  Abominable  !  "  ejaculated  Gallwood  ;  "  that  is,  it  would 
have  been,  had  poor  Mr.  Cliff'  been  responsible." 

"  Of  course  I  have  great  charity,"  said  Nudwink,  com- 
placently. 

"  Certainly,  we  understand  that ;  but  your  duty  to  so 
ciety  is  paramount.     Now  was  there  anything  further  took 


THK    CONVALESCF^NT    COURT.  57 

place — any  further  remarks  of  Mr.  Cliff  of  a  similar  tenor 
indicating,  in  your  opinion,  unsoundness  ?  " 

"Yes;  some  of  his  remarks  were  wholly  irrelevant.  I 
utterly  failed  to  understand  their  drift.  Among  other 
things  which  he  said  was  something  respecting  a  joke,  and 
he  invited  me  to  come  some  time  when  I  could  spare  half 
an  hour,  when,  as  he  said,  he  would  explain  it.  Then  I 
asked  him  if  he  read  his  Arithmetic.  To  this  he  re- 
sponded that  he  had  not,  and  in  fact  that  precious  book 
had  been  tossed  under  the  bed,  from  which  he  extricated 
it  covered  with  dust." 

"  Did  you  question  him  concerning  his  knowledge  of 
it?" 

"I  did." 

"  Did  he  appear  to  be  acquainted  with  its  contents?  " 

"  Not  only  unacquainted,  but  absolutely  indifferent,  and 
boastful  of  his  want  of  knowledge  ;  and  yet — and  this 
was  the  most  singular  circumstance — while  actually  derid- 
ing the  Holy  Arithmetic  he  referred  to  the  Four  Ground 
Rules  as  if  he  did,  after  all,  possess  a  certain  degree  of  in- 
formation. I  confess  that  I  was  shocked  beyond  meas- 
ure; but  as  I  before  remarked,  I  am  now  convinced  that 
in  respect  to  these  subjects  Mr,  CliiiE  is  still  insane." 


CHAPTER  VII. 
gallwood's  enmity  is  manifested. 

u  T'^HAT  will  do,  Mr.  Nudwink,"  said  Gallvvood. 
^  ''Now,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  continued,  with  a  patroniz- 
ing smile,  "  I  shall,  if  you  please,  propound  certain  ques- 
tions to  you." 

I  felt  very  nervous,  for  this  was  a  course  that  I  had  not 
expected.  I  was  acquainted  in  a  general  way  with  the 
rules  of  evidence  of  our  own  courts,  and  had  even  taken 
some  little  interest  in  the  controversy  respecting  our  crim- 
inal code  of  procedure. 

I  was  aware  that  under  our  New  York  law,  I  had  the 
privilege  of  refusing  to  testify,  on  the  ground  that  what  1 
might  say  would  have  a  tendency  to  criminate  myself ;  but 
I  had  found  the  customs  of  Inquirendo  so  widely  at  vari- 
ance with  those  of  the  State  of  New  York,  that,  bearing  in 
mind  the  Governor's  declaration  that  my  method  of  de- 
fence would  go  far  towards  forming  his  opinion,  I  quickly 
decided  that  I  had  best  not  offer  this  plea. 

I  did  debate  with  myself  for  an  instant  the  advantages 
of  a  strict  course  of  lying  ;  but  this  I  at  once  discarded, 
not  so  much  that  it  was  wicked,  as  that  it  was  not  feasi- 
ble. In  lying,  I  did  not  feel  myself  at  all  a  match  for  the 
unscrupulous  Gallwood. 

It  was  evident  to  me  that  the  line  of  questioning  to 
which  I  was  about  to  be  subjected  was  not  at  all  in  the 
nature  of  a  cross-examination.     But  whose  witness  was  I, 

5^ 


GALLWOOD  S    ENiMITY    IS    MANIFESTED.  59 

my  own  or  Mr.  Galhvood's?  While  I  was  trying  to  detcr 
niine  what  my  course  should  be,  Gallwood,  all  urbanit), 
proceeded  : 

"  What  is  your  full  name  .''  " 

"John  Cliff,"  I  answered  promptly. 

"  Your  father's  name  ?  " 

"William  Clifif." 

"  His  business  ?  " 

"  Stock  broker,"  I  responded  unthinkingly,  and  then  re- 
membering that  I  was  wholly  in  the  dark  as  to  the  exist- 
ence of  any  such  profession  in  Inquirendo,  I  blushed 
and  probably  looked  guilty. 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  the  term  broker  ? "  said  Gall- 
wood.  I  thought  a  moment,  very  vigorousl}'.  Clearly 
here  was  a  case  where  wits  were  better  than  lies. 

"  One  who  breaks,"  I  answered,  well  satisfied. 

"  Does  he  break  cattle,  or  sheep  ?  " 

"  Sheep  ;  that  is,  lambs — mostly  lambs." 

I  said  this  knowing  that  breaking  lambs  on  Wall  Street 
was  in  fact  my  father's  vocation,  and  also  persuaded  thai 
my  reply  was  in  strict  accordance  with  the  ways  of  busi- 
ness in  the  island  as  well  as  in  New  York. 

My  readiness  of  reply  seemed  to  disconcert  my  prosecu- 
tor slightly  ;  but  he  was  not  easily  abashed,  and  went  on 
directly  :  "  Where  do  you  live  ?  " 

"Just  now,"  I  answered,  "my  residence  appears  to  be 
in  the  asylum." 

"  No  levity,  Mr.  Cliff,"  interposed  the  Governor,  and 
then  I  was  aware  that  I  had  made  a  mistake. 

"  Answer  the  question,"  said  Gallwood. 

What  could  I  say  to  this  ?  Could  I  declare  that  I 
lived,  when  in  the  city,  on  the  south-west  corner  of  Park 
Place  and  Sixty-oddth  Street  ?    Manifestly  not ;  nor  could 


6o  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

I  proclaim  my  home  lo  be  at  Far  Rockaway,  where  we  had 
taken  a  furnished  house  for  the  summer.  I  might,  it  is 
true,  have  mentioned  some  locality  on  the  island,  but  for 
one  or  two  reasons :  in  the  first  place,  if  I  did  mention  a 
locality  the  probabilities  were  quite  strong,  and  favored 
the  conclusion,  that  I  would  be  remanded  to  my  cell  while 
some  one, — most  likely  Galhvood  himself, — would  go  to 
that  identical  spot  and  make  inquiries  ;  in  the  second 
place,  I  knew  of  no  locality  to  mention. 

It  had  been  suggested  to  me  that  I  came  from  the  east 
end,  but  at  this  time  my  notions  of  the  geography  of  In- 
quirendo  were  extremely  vague,  and  if  I  had  stated  that 
my  home  was  at  the  east  end  I  was  not  sure  what  the  ef- 
fect might  be.  All  these  forms  of  reply  being,  it  appeared 
to  me,  inadmissible,  I  boldly  resolved  to  avow  my  igno- 
rance, and  frankly  lie. 

In  the  United  Stales,  as  I  have  had  frequent  occa- 
sion to  observe,  there  is  nothing  so  convincing  and  so 
plausible  as  a  frank  lie.  I  found  it  much  the  same  in 
Inquirendo. 

"  Answer  my  question,"  repeated  Galhvood. 

Then  with  an  appearance  of  the  utmost  frankness  and 
candor,  I  avowed  my  total  inability  to  tell  in  what  part  of 
the  island  my  home  was  situated.  I  explained  that  in  most 
respects  I  felt  myself  to  be  thoroughly  recovered,  but  that 
I  was  aware  of  a  lack  of  memory,  the  defect  of  which  I 
was  unable  to  overcome. 

This  answer  had  an  effect  upon  the  Governor  that  I 
saw  was  displeasing  in  the  extreme  to  Galhvood.  M4;. 
Mayland  nodded  in  a  way  that  appeared  to  indicate  satis- 
faction with  my  reply,  and  Dr.  Setbon  smiled  complacently. 
He  was  evidently  on  my  side,  and  looking  towards  the 
corner  where  Margery  sat  beside  her  mother,  I  noticed 


GALLWOOD  S    ENMITY    IS    MANIFESTED.  6 1 

that  she  was  also  sweetly  smiling.  This  greatly  encour- 
aged nie,  and  I  felt  nerved  for  anything  further  that  the 
odious  Gallwood  might  have  in  store. 

"  You  have  listened  to  the  testimony  of  Mr.  Nudwink, 
have  you  not  ?  "  asked  Gallwood. 

He  spoke  angrily,  and  his  brow  was  blacker  than  ever. 
I  knew  that  even  if  I  had  foiled  him  on  that  special 
point,  the  man  would  be  pertinacious.  What  was  the 
cause  of  his  antipathy  to  me  I  did  not  then  know,  but 
that  he  hated  me  I  was  convinced. 

"  I  have  heard  what  Mr.  Nudwink  said,"  I  answered 
calmly. 

"  Who  is  Mathematics  ? — or,  rather,  let  me  put  the 
question  in  a  different  shape  :  give  me  your  idea — if  you 
have  one — of  Mathematics." 

Who  was  Mathematics  ?  Here  was  that  same  question 
that  the  absurd  Nudwink  had  poked  at  me.  It  was  quite 
evident  that  a  trap  had  been  laid  for  me.  If  I  should 
retort  as  I  had  on  the  previous  occasion  would  not  that 
be  detrimental  to  my  interest .''  I  pondered  a  moment. 
Give  him  my  idea  of  mathematics,  of  course  I  could  do 
that.  That  appeared  easy.  As  to  who  mathematics  was 
I  could  not  pretend  to  say  :  but  I  could  certainly  define 
the  abstract  idea. 

"  Mathematics  is  the  science  of  the  relations  of  quan- 
tity," I  said.  Mr.  Gallwood  scowled  furiously.  Mr.  May- 
land  smiled  and  so  did  Margery,  while  Mr.  Nudwink 
moved  uneasily  in  his  chair  and  seemed  to  be  much  in- 
censed. All  this  appeared  to  me  to  be  a  very  large  effect 
from  so  simple  a  cause  as  my  plain  answer. 

"  What  is  the  Arithmetic  t  "  continued  Gallwood,  ab- 
ruptly. 

"  The  science  of  numbers,"  I  answered,  promptly. 


62  INQUIRKNDO    ISLAND. 

This  reply  seemed  to  astonish  Gallvvood  greatly.  He 
lowered  on  me  savagely  with  his  black,  brutal  eyes,  in 
which  glittered  unmistakable  hatred. 

"  One  question  more,"  he  hissed,  leaning  forward  and 
holding  up  his  forefinger  menacingly ;  "  how  many  dig- 
its are  there  ? " 

"  Nine,"  I  answered. 

"  What  is  your  idea  of  a  cipher  ? " 

"  Nothing,  naught." 

"  What  do  the  Four  Ground  Rules  treat  of  ?  " 

"  Addition,  sub — " 

"  I  did  not  ask  you  to  name  them  ;  I  asked  you  of  what 
they  treated  ?  "  he  snapped. 

"  Of  the  processes — the  fundamental  processes  of  Arith- 
metic." 

"  Of  l/ie  Arithmetic  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  What  is  the  first  called  ?  " 

"  Addition." 

"  The  others,  in  their  order  ?  " 

"  Subtraction,  multiplication,  and  division." 

Mr.  Gallwood,  for  some  cause  unknown  to  me,  was  now 
perfectly  furious.  His  face  was  actually  livid  with  pas- 
sion ;  but  controlling  himself,  he  continued  with  a  bitter 
sneer  :  "  So,  Mr.  Cliff,  in  your  conversation  with  our  wor- 
thy chaplain  you  saw  fit  to  deliberately  deceive  and  pre- 
varicate. Well,  I  shall  question  you  no  more.  The 
Archten  himself  can,  we  are  told,  quote  Arithmetic,  and  I 
presume  that  is  the  case  with  you." 

Having  so  delivered  himself  Gallwood  sat  down 
abruptly,  and  turning  to  Nudwink,  the  two  entered  at  once 
into   conversation,  which,  though  conducted  in  a  very  low 


.  gallwood's  enmity  is  manifested.  63 

tone,  was  accompanied  by  much  vigor  of  expression  and 
gesticulation. 

"Have  you  any  further  questions  to  put,  Mr.  (lall- 
wood  ?  "  asked  the  Governor. 

"None,  sir,"  responded  Gallwood,  sulkily. 

"  Do  you  desire  to  call  any  further  witnesses  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,  none  ;  we  rest." 

"And  you,  Mr.  Cliff,"  continued  Mr.  Mayland,  polilely, 
"  are  there  others  whom  3-ou  desire  to  question  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,"  I  answered,  politely,  "  none." 

"  Then  I  shall  myself  ask  a  few  :  have  you  no  recollec- 
tion at  all  as  to  your  home  ?  " 

I  adhered  to  my  previous  statement. 

"  You  say  that  your  father's  name  is  William  Cliff  ?  " 

"  It  is." 

"  Mr.  Gallwood."       ■ 

^'  Sir." 

"  Have  you  ever  known  of  a  family  of  that  name  upon 
the  island  ?  " 

"  Never,  sir." 
■     "  Do  you  believe  there  is  a  family  of  that  name  ?  " 

"  I  do  not." 

"  Mr.  Nudwink." 

The  chaplain  responded.  He  was  asked  the  same 
questions,  and  his  answers  were  of  a  like  character  to 
those  of  Gallwood.  The  three  doctors  in  turn  were 
questioned,  and  they  all  admitted  that  the  name  was 
unfamiliar. 

"  If  you  know  of  any  one,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  the  Go\'ernor, 
"  who  can  testify  respecting  your  family,  you  may  have 
time  to  call  them."  I  explained  that  I  was  unable  to  do 
this  ;  but  that  I  was  still  confident  as  to  my  own  name 
and  that  of  mv  father. 


t)4  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Now  as  to  your  knowledge  of  Mathematics.  How  is 
it  that,  while  here  in  court  you  have,  without  hesitation, 
and  with  a  manifest  comprehension  of  the  subject,  re- 
plied to  the  inquiries  that  were  made,  when,  according  to 
the  testimony  of  Mr.  Nudwink,  you  showed  yourself  on  a 
former  occasion  either  so  indifferent  or  so  ignorant .-'  " 

I  had  certainly  hoped  that  with  the  ending  of  Gall- 
wood's  attempt  to  disconcert  me,  all  reference  to  the 
subject  of  Mathematics  had  been  over;  but  here  it  was 
again.  The  very  word  itself  had  become  hateful  to  me. 
I  could  not  help  associating  it  with  the  sanctimonious 
and,  as  I  believed,  hypocritical  chaplain,  and  also  with 
the  yet  more  distasteful  Galhvood.  For  a  moment  I 
cudgelled  my  brains  in  silence.  It  would  not  do,  I 
thought,  to  say  that  I  had  not  understood  Nudwink,  for 
I  feared  a  renewal  of  the  inquiry  as  to  the  exactness  of 
my  views,  which  were  indeed  very  vague.  I  deemed  it 
best,  therefore,  to  boldly  avow  a  want  of  confidence  in  the 
man.  The  reference  that  had  been  made  to  my  joking 
aided  me  in  this,  serving  to  render  my  story  probable. 
"  I  was  only  having  a  little  fun,"  I  answered  meekly. 

"  Fun,"  said  the  Governor,  "  on  such  a  subject,  and  with 
the  chaplain,  who  only  had  your  good  at  heart !  Do  you 
regard  such  conduct  as  seemly  ?  " 

"  Perhaps  not." 

••  Decidedly  not,"  said  the  Governor,  with  much  em- 
phasis. 

I  ventured  to  say  that  I  thought  Mr.  Nudwink  was  a 
very  peculiar  man. 

"  He  is  a  most  devoted  man  to  his  duties  among  the 
inmates  of  the  asylum,"  said  the  Governor,  severely,  "  and 
in  addition  preaches  most  acceptably  to  a  large  congre- 
gation in  the  adjoining  village." 


gallwood's  enmity  is  manifested.  65 

To  this  I  made  no  response. 

"  He  is  a  most  exemplary  Mathematician,  Mr.  Cliff," 
the  Governor  proceeded  to  say,  "  and  you  would  do  well  in 
the  future  to  profit  by  his  admonitions," 

I  inclined  my  head  submissively. 

"Is  there  anything  further  in  the  way  of  testimony  ?  " 
said  the  Governor,  casting  his  eye  around  the  room. 

Mr.  Gallwood  rose  and  stood  erect  in  the  midst  of  a 
deep  silence.  My  friend — for  so  I  must  now  call  him — 
Dr.  Setbon,  gave  me  a  little  nudge. 

"Stand  up,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said. 

So  I  also  rose. 

"  There  seems  to  be  nothing  further,"  said  the  Governor, 
when  he  had  gazed  about  for  a  short  interval.  "  Now, 
Mr.  Gallwood,  if  you  so  desire,  you  may  proceed  with 
your  argument  in  the  case ;  the  court  allows  twenty 
minutes." 

My  friend  the  doctor  gave  me  a  little  tug  from  behind 
and  I  resumed  my  chair, 

Gallwood  availed  himself  of  his  privilege  of  speech  to 
the  fullest  extent,  and  managed  to  crowd  more  vitupera- 
tion and  venom  into  that  space  of  time,  as  well  as  more 
lies,  than  I  could  have  believed  possible.  I  shall  not 
report  his  argument — if  argument  I  were  justified  in 
calling  it.  He  took  the  ground  that  my  defective 
memory,  in  addition  to  the  irrelevancy  of  my  replies  to 
Mr.  Nudwink's  pertinent  inquiries,  and  my  reckless  be- 
havior to  the  chaplain,  constituted  valid  evidence  that 
I  was  totally  unfit  for  convalescent  privileges.  There 
was  one  allusion  that  he  made  which  I  did  not  under- 
stand at  the  time,  and  this,  as  it  was  quite  short,  I  take 
the  liberty  of  quoting  from  memory  : 

"  Not  only  unfit,"  said  Gallwood,  passionately,  "  but  so 
5 


66  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

far  removed  from  fitness  that,  despite  the  kindly  hearts 
of  our  good  doctors  and  the  strong  religious  charity 
of  our  estimable  chaplain,  I  am  almost  persuaded  to  de- 
clare him  to  be  hopeless.  Full  well  I  know  the  awful 
significance  of  those  two  brief  words — well  styled  the 
dead  language — which,  if  pronounced  by  the  court,  arc- 
terrible  as  fate.  Full  well  I  understand  my  own  responsi- 
bilities as  prosecutor ;  yet  mindful  of  my  obligations,  I 
dare  aver,  in  my  paramount  duty  to  the  entire  com- 
munity, that  not  only  is  Mr.  Cliff  not  convalescent,  but 
he  is  also  in  my  opinion  '  iion  compos'  " 

So,  amid  a  breathless  silence,  and  an  attention  that  I 
myself  regarded  as  greater  than  the  gravity  of  the  occa- 
sion demanded,  Mr.  Galhvood  sat  down. 

I  observed  that  Margery  and  her  mother  were  both 
crying  bitterly  ;  that  Dr.  Setbon  was  furtively  wiping  his 
eyes,  and  that  even  the  Governor  seemed  to  be  affected. 

Recovering  himself  promptly,  Mr.  Mayland  asked  me 
if  I  desired  to  make  an  appeal  in  my  own  behalf.  I  rose, 
and  in  a  very  short  and  temperate  speech,  I  expressed 
my  willingness  to  leave  the  matter  to  the  judgment  of  the 
court. 

When  I  had  concluded  there  was  another  pause,  and 
then  the  Governor,  in  the  same  tone  in  which  he  had 
pronounced  the  court  open,  declared  it  closed. 

The  tip-staff  was  instantly  upon  his  feet,  bawling ; 
"  Oyez  !  oyez  !  oyez  !  the  convalescent  court  stands  closed." 
All  rose  to  their  feet.  Mrs.  Mayland  and  Margery  went 
out  noiselessly  by  the  door  through  which  they  came. 
They  were  followed  by  Nudwink  and  Galhvood,  the  latter 
casting  back  at  me  one  baleful  glance.  Then  I  was 
conducted  into  an  ante-room,  and  waited  there,  I  confes.s 


gallwood's  enmity  is  manifested.  67 

in  some  suspense,  in  company  with  the  three  doctors  and 
an  attendant,  for  perhaps  half  an  hour. 

There  was  then  a  bustling,  and  the  tip-stafT  came  out 
and  summoned  us  to  re-enter  the  court  room. 

Mr.  Mayland  was  seated  at  his  desk,  in  the  same 
attitude  of  magisterial  dignity  as  before  ;  but  his  counte- 
nance being  perfectly  impassible,  nothing  indicated  what 
his  decision  might  be.  As  we  sat  down,  the  further  door 
was  thrown  open,  and  the  others  entered.  Margery  and 
her  mother  both  held  their  heads  down,  and  it  seemed 
that  the  girl  was  weeping. 

This  I  thought  rather  strange ;  but  my  attention  was 
diverted  by  the  constable,  who,  with  his  "  Oyez  !  oyez  ! 
oyez  !  "  opened  the  court  as  before. 

The  Governor  now  looked  at  me  a  moment  fixedly,  and 
then  proceeded,  in  a  low  calm  voice,  to  pronounce  his 
opinion. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

ON   THE   COURSE   OF    DISCIPLINE. 

i(  'T^HE  circumstances  in  your  case,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  the 
-*■  Governor,  "  are  very  peculiar.  It  is  seldom  that 
so  iTiany  intricate  questions  are  involved  in  a  matter  of 
convalescence,  as  in  yours.  Questions  of  fact  have  arisen 
in  three  specific  details  ;  namely  :  the  question  as  to  your 
accountability  for  the  attack  upon  Mr.  BuUinger ;  the 
question  of  the  defective  memory  ;  and  the  further  ques- 
tion of  aberration  as  indicated  by  your  unaccountable 
conduct  in  reference  to  religious  subjects.  The  law  is 
plain.  It  is  that  although  a  patient  may  be  pronounced 
convalescent  by  the  physicians,  and  thereby  admitted  to 
certain  privileges,  yet  this  action  is  subject  to  reversal  on 
a  proper  presentation  of  the  case,  and  for  good  cause 
shown. 

"  You  have,  I  will  say  at  the  outset,  Mr.  Clifif,  shown  a 
fertility  of  resource,  and  a  very  considerable  degree  of  in- 
formation upon  various  subjects,  and  in  respect  to  youi 
own  conduct  of  the  case,  no  fault  whatever  is  to  be  found. 
You  are  probably  not  versed  in  the  law,  but  it  is  my  duty 
to  see  that  you  do  not  suffer  from  any  lack  of  legal  knowl- 
edge. I  will  therefore  briefly  state  that,  in  his  capacity 
as  assistant  superintendent  of  the  asylum,  it  has  devolved 
upon  Mr.  Gallwood,  entirely  within  the  scope  of  his 
powers,  to  present  you  to  the  court  as  one  to  whom  it  is 
unsafe  to  intrust  the  privileges  of  convalescence.      He 

68 


ON    THE    COURSE    OF    DISCIPLINE.  69 

has,  in  the  course  o£  the  proceedings,  fully  demonstrated 
his  wisdom  and  fulfilled  his  duties  well,  and  having  ar- 
raigned you  on  the  three  several  questions  of  fact  before 
enumerated  his  responsibility  ceased.  This  responsibility 
is,  as  the  law  very  properly  provides,  of  a  very  serious  na- 
ture. The  responsibility  of  our  three  physicians,  Dr.  Set- 
bon  and  his  associates,  is  limited  to  fine,  and  in  serious 
cases,  to  loss  of  position  ;  and  is  also  limited  to  three 
days  after  recommendation  of  convalescent  liberties. 
Within  three  days  an  act  was  done  by  you — the  attack 
upon  your  fellow  paj;ient — which,  had  it  resulted  in  death 
or  serious  injury  to  him,  would  have  rendered  the  physi- 
cians amenable  to  the  law  in  such  case  made  and  provided. 
Fortunately  there  was  no  serious  injury  done  ;  but  in  his 
province  of  assistant  superintendent  it  then  became  imper- 
ative that  Mr.  Gallwood  should  take  action.  Had  he 
acquiesced  in  your  view  of  the  case, — that  Bullinger  was 
the  sole  offender, — he  might  have  become,  in  case  any 
future  act  of  yours  should  result  in  serious  bodily 
harm  to  any  one,  personally  liable  to  the  full  extent 
of  the  statute,  which,  as  you  may  perhaps  not  be  aware, 
provides  an  adequate  pecuniary  compensation  to  the 
sufferer,  or  in  case  death  should  result,  to  his  heirs ; 
and  also,  in  that  event,  imprisonment.  It  must  therefore 
be  plain  to  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  that  in  prosecuting  you  to  thj 
extreme  limit,  Mr.  Gallwood  does  not  in  any  degree 
exceed  his  rights,  and  would  even  be  derelict  in  his  duty 
to  society  had  he  done  otherwise. 

"  In  the  act  of  the  arraignment,  however,  Mr.  Gallwood's 
responsibility  ceases,  and  under  the  law  it  again  devolves 
upon  Dr.  Setbon  and  his  associates,  and  also  upon  the 
court,  to  this  extent,  that  if,  by  accepting  your  pleas  in 
whole  or  in  part,  you  were  to  be  restored  to  your  conva- 


70  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

lescent  liberty,  and  any  untoward  event  should  occur,  we 
would  be  each  severally  liable,  as  before  noted,  in  pecuni- 
ary damages,  and  also  subject — at  the  crown's  discretion — 
to  loss  of  position. 

'•  It  now  lies  within  the  prerogative  of  the  court  to  adju- 
dicate in  one  of  four  ways  :  First,  you  may  be  either  re- 
manded absolutely  to  the  asylum,  and  your  assignment 
as  a  convalescent  declared  invalid  ;  or,  second,  you  may 
be  declared  to  have  sustained  your  position  in  every 
respect  with  full  convalescent  liberties  unimpaired ;  or, 
third,  it  is  within  the  court's  power  tp  place  you  on  the 
course  of  discipline,  whereby  your  liberty  as  a  convales- 
cent would  be  much  curtailed  ;  or, — and  I  hesitate  before 
naming  that  dread  alternative  ;  but  as  an  adjudication  is 
asked  on  that  special  matter  I  must  do  so, — in  the  fourth 
and  last  case  I  can  pronounce  the  awful  sentence, — sub- 
ject, it  is  true,  to  revision  by  the  Sun  Court, — of  non  com- 
post The  Governor  |:)aused,  and  appeared  greatly  moved 
by  something,  the  nature  of  which  I  hardly  comprehended. 
In  the  silence  that  ensued  Margery's  voice  was  heard  pas- 
sionately sobbing.  Of  course  I  knew  that  it  was  a  very 
dreadful  thing  to  be  pronounced  a  lunatic ;  but  why 
should  the  Governor  be  so  perturbed  ?  and  why  should 
Margery  feel  moved  by  such  strong  emotion  ?  I  confess 
that  I  was  puzzled  ;  but  so  many  things  had  happened  to 
disconcert  me  that  I  regarded  this  as  only  one  of  nian\-. 
and  not  more  formidable  than  what  had  preceded.  I 
sat  stolid,  concerned,  it  is  true,  and  impatient,  but  noi,  I 
think,  manifesting  any  great  distress. 

The  Governor  proceeded  :  "  Having  indicated  the  sev- 
eral courses  that  are  open  to  the  court  I  now  pass  to 
the  questions  of  fact.  In  the  encounter  with  Mr.  Bullin- 
ger,  were  you  blameworthy  ?     I  answer,  No."     My  heart 


ON    THE   COURSE    OF    DISCIPLINE,  7 1 

gave  a  joyous  bound.  "  In  respect  to  your  defective 
memory,  your  own  testimony  is  the  controlling  testimony. 
You  have  admitted  with  much  candor  your  own  incapacity, 
and,  in  so  doing,  have  established  the  point  conclusively 
in  my  mind  that  no  danger  is  to  be  apprehended  from 
that  source  alone,  and  on  that  count  also  you  are  absolved 
from  blame.  To  come  to  the  third  point,  is  it  or  is  it  not 
a  fact,  that  your  levity  towards  our  estimable  chaplain  was 
of  such  a  character  as  to  justify  this  court  .in  regarding  it 
as  serious  ?  To  the  mind  of  the  court  this  point  seems  to 
be  involved  in  very  great  obscurity.  Your  own  explana- 
tion is  either  truthful — in  which  case  it  was  levity  almost 
unpardonable — or  it  was  ingenious,  and  by  your  very  in- 
genuity you  thereby  demonstrated  your  own  defects. 

"  No  point  is  better  established  in  our  system  of  juris- 
prudence than  this  :  that  cunning  is  always  an  attribute 
of  impaired  mental  faculties.  It  is  true  that  on  other 
points  you  sustained  yourself  admirably,  and  the  court 
gives  you  due  credit  for  the  excellent  temper  you  have 
shown  during  the  examination ;  still,  all  this  may  have 
been  assumed,  and  I  take  this  occasion  to  state  that  had 
you  shown  more  feeling  at  the  allusions  to  a  possible 
decree  of  non  compos  it  would  have  been  more  becoming. 
However,  we  are  not  all  constituted  alike,  and  this  may 
have  been  only  a  matter  of  phlegmatic  temperament. 

"  It  is  not,  under  our  law,  in  a  trial  of  this  character,  the 
province  of  the  prosecution  to  touch  upon  the  original 
charges  which  lead  to  incarceration;  but  in  its  judgment 
the  court  has  the  right  to  take  that  into  consideration  in 
rendering  a  decision.  Bearing  all  the  facts  in  mind,  the 
court  determines  that  the  first  charge,  an  unprovoked 
attack  upon  Mr.  Bullinger,  is  not  sustained,  and  therefore 
pronounces  you  of  that  charge  not  guilty.     Of  the  second 


>j2  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

charo-e,  defective  memory,  guilty,  but  the  court  attaches 
no  blame  to  you  thereby,  and  regards  it  as  but  a  physical 
impairment,  which  time  may,  and  probably  will,  remedy. 
Of  the  third  charge,  undue  levity,  the  court  pronounces 
you  guilty." 

The  Governor's  voice  was  intensely  solemn  as  he  pro- 
nounced this  ominous  word,  and  again  Margery  broke 
forth  into  sobs.  I  was  by  this  time  somewhat  moved  my- 
self, but  I  sat  expectant  of  what  was  to  follow.  After  a 
brief  interval  Mr.  Mayland  proceeded  :  "  The  court  now 
in  its  discretion,  aware  of  the  high  degree  of  responsibil- 
ity attaching  to  its  action,  decrees  as  follows  :  that  you  be 
placed  upon  the  course  of  discipline  from  this  day  for  one 
year,  unless  sooner  discharged." 

As  the  Governor  pronounced  these  words  he  bowed  his 
head  gravely  ;  there  was  a  simultaneous  sigh  from  the 
three  doctors.  I  looked  towards  Gallwood  and  Nudwink  ; 
both  were  scowling,  while  the  faces  of  Mrs.  Mayland  and 
Margery  brightened  into  smiles.  Both  the  smiles  and  the 
scowls  were  alike  reassuring.  I  was  in  dense  ignorance 
as  to  what  the  course  of  discipline  consisted ;  but  that 
Margery  should  smile  and  Gallwood  scowl  thereat  was 
sufficient  evidence  that  it  was  not  especially  dreadful. 
The  whole  matter  was  explained  to  me  in  the  ante-room 
by  my  good  friend  Dr.  Setbon,  who  shook  my  hand 
warmly,  congratulating  me  upon  the  favorable  impression 
I  had  made.  Margery  and  her  mother  also  came  and 
spoke  to  me. 

There  was  a  tear  in  Mrs.  Mayland's  eye  as  she  took  my 
hand.  "  While  you  are  filled  with  joy  at  your  wonderful 
preservation  do  not  forget  to  whom  you  owe  all  this,"  she 
said. 

"The  Governor  ?  "  I  asked,  " do  you  mean  him  ? " 


ON    THE    COURSE    OF    DISCIPLINE.  73 

"  Oh,  no,  I  refer  to  a  higher  than  the  Governor,  in 
whose  hands  are  all  human  ordinances,  and  from  whom 
proceed  all  human  judgments." 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  answered  humbly,  being  indeed  fervently 
thankful  to  that  higher  power. 

"  I  grieve  to  think,"  continued  the  old  lady,  "  that  you 
should  have  treated  the  counsels  of  the  chaplain  in  an 
unbecoming  way — " 

"  Mr.  Cliff  explained  that  it  was  only  ar>  aversion  to  Mr. 
Nudwink,  mamma,"  said  Margery,  stealing  a  glance  at  me 
out  of  her  lovely  eyes. 

"Still  he  ought  to  have  remembered  the  sacred  charac- 
ter of  the  man  and  of  his  mission.  Promise  me,  Mr.  Cliff," 
Mrs.  Mayland  added,  with  much  fervor,  "  promise  me  that 
you  will  read  your  Arithmetic  hereafter  with  due  dili- 
gence." 

"  I  shall  certainly  do  so,"  I  answered,  "  as  you  and  Miss 
Margery  request  it." 

"  We  do  request  it,"  said  Margery,  sweetly. 

"And  pray,"  added  Mrs.  Mayland,  "pray  to  Mathemat- 
ics, and  may  the  Greatest  Common  Divisor  sustain  and 
comfort  you.  Now  I  shall  say  good-by.  When  it  is  all 
settled  in  respect  to  the  course  of  discipline  no  doubt  it 
will  be  permitted  that  you  shall  visit  us." 

Mrs.  Mayland  gave  me  her  hand,  Margery  smiled 
charmingly,  and  they  both  withdrew,  leaving  me  alone 
with  Dr.  Setbon. 

The  excellent  doctor  rubbed  his  hands  gleefully. 
"I   am   charmed,  Mr.   Cliff;  charmed   with  the  way  in 
which  you  conducted   yourself  during    the    examination. 
My  professional  reputation  was  at  stake,  and  I  was,  I  con- 
fess, for  awhile   exceedingly  anxious,  but  you    sustained 


74  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

yourself  through  the  trying  ordeal  with  the  greatest  cool- 
ness.    Now  as  to  the  future — " 

"There  are  one  or  two  things  that  I  should  like  to  have 
explained,"  I  said,  feeling  that  I  could  trust  the  doctor  in 
some  measure. 

"  Name  them,  Mr.  Cliff,  I  shall  be  delighted  to  afford 
you  any  assistance  in  my  power." 

"  You  are  aware  that  I  have  admitted  my  defective 
memory,  doctor  ? " 

"  With  uncommon  candor,  my  dear  sir,  with  most  un- 
common candor." 

"You  remember  the  course  the   examination    took  re- 
specting my  so-called  levity  with  the  chaplain.?" 
"  Perfectly,  sir,  perfectly." 

"  You  recall  that  I  laid  it  to  a  little  pleasantry  on  my 
part  on  account  of  a  personal  dislike  I  had  for  Mr.  Nud- 
wink  ? " 

"  I  don't  wonder  at  it,  not  in  the  least.  He  is  a  man 
for  whom  I  have  myself  the  very  strongest  aversion." 

"  It  seemed  to  me  that  I  had  no  other  course  open  to 
me  than  to  explain  my  apparently  unaccountable  conduct 
as  a  joke." 

"  And  was  it  not  a  joke  ? "  asked  the  doctor,  opening 
his  eyes  very  wide. 

"  No,  doctor,  I  was  not  joking  ;  that  is,  except  in  one  in- 
stance. I  dislike  to  prevaricate,  but  to  have  told  the  ex- 
act truth  at  court  I  feared  would  have  been  prejudicial  to 
my  interests." 

"  Then  what  was  the  true  explanation  .?     I  am  quite  at 
a  loss  to  conceive  of  any  other." 
"  The  explanation  is  a  simple  one." 
"  What  is  it  ?  " 
"  I  may  trust  you,  doctor,  may  I  not  ?  " 


ON    THE    COURSE    OF    DISCIPUNE.  75 

"Thoroughly,  sir." 

"  Then  I  shall  have  to  admit  that  my  defective  memory 
extended  to  all  those  points  referred  to  by  Mr.  Nud- 
wink." 

"  You  do  not  mean  to  tell  me,"  exclaimed  the  doctor  in 
amazement,  "  that  you  have  lost  all  memory  of  religious 
truth  ?  " 

What  vi^as  I  to  say  in  reply  to  this  ?  The  questions  of 
religion  and  arithmetic  had  become  so  inextricably  in- 
volved in  my  mind  that  I  felt  myself  quite  incapable  of 
disentangling  them.  Still,  the  doctor  must  be  answered. 
1  had  declared  to  myself  that  I  would  trust  him,  and  he 
had  given  me  the  assurance  that  he  was  to  be  trusted. 

"To  be  frank,  doctor,"  I  said,  "I  fear  I  must  say  that, 
if  not  all,  I  have  at  least  lost  the  memory  of  much.  As  to 
what  constitutes  religious  truth  I  seem  to  have  now  only 
a  dim  perception." 

"  Remarkable,  most  remarkable," 

"  I  realize  my  own  deficiency  in  this  as  in  those  other 
respects  of  which  you  are  aware,  and  I  deem  it  my  duty 
to  be  thoroughly  candid." 

"  You  are  quite  right,  Mr.  Clifif,  quite  right.  However, 
this  puts  quite  a  new  phase  upon  the  matter.  Yours,  sir, 
is  a  most  remarkable  case  ;  the  most  remarkable  that  has 
ever  come  under  my  observation." 

He  paused  and  rubbed  his  brow  reflectively,  "  Singular, 
very  singular,"  he  continued,  "  that  a  mind  as  bright  as 
yours  in  so  many  respects  should  yet  fail  utterly  on  these 
points.  We  physicians  are  of  course  continually  dealing 
with  lapses  of  memory  of  almost  all  degrees,  but  your 
case  stands  by  itself.  However,  one  great  point  gained  is 
this,  that  you  know  your  own  weakness  to  its  fullest  ex- 
tent, and  will  therefore  be  prepared  to  cooperate  with  me 


76  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

in  such  efforts  as  I  shall  think  best  to  make  during  the 
ensuing  year,  while  you  are  on  the  course  of  discipline." 

"  Will  you  kindly  explain  what  is  meant  by  this  course  of 
discipline,  doctor  ? " 

"  There  are  really  several  grades  of  the  course  of  dis- 
cipline," he  replied,  "  and  it  is  mainly  my  duty  to  assign  to 
each  patient  thereon  his  proper  grade  ;  each  has  its  special 
hardships  and  special  exemptions.  In  your  case,  as  I  am 
informed  by  the  Governor  that  you  are  possessed  of  ample 
means,  the  burden  will  not  be  as  heavy  as  it  otherwise 
would." 

"  In  what  way  ? "  I  asked. 

"  You  will  have  to  be  continually  under  supervision,  of 
course.  That  is  requisite  more  or  less  in  every  grade  of 
the  course  ;  but  I  shall  arrange  it  so  that  you  can  travel, 
if  you  so  desire  it,  with  your  attendant." 

"  Travel  !  "  said  I,  delightedly.     "  I  should  like  that." 

"  And  perhaps  on  your  journey  over  the  island,  it  may 
happen  that  your  eye  may  light  upon  some  familiar  scene 
that  will  revive  the  dormant  smouldering  cinders  of  mem- 
ory." 

"That  is  possible,"  I  answered,  overjoyed  at  the  pros- 
pect before  me  of  a  certain  degree  of  freedom. 

"  I  shall  arrange  at  once  for  a  suitable  attendant," 
continued  Dr.  Setbon.  "  Let  me  see  ;  who  is  there  I  can 
get?  You  need  a  man  of  more  than  ordinary  intelligence, 
who  would  be  able  to  inform  you  on  all  points." 

"  Yes,  doctor,"  said  I,  hypocritically.  "  I  am  well  aware 
that  on  these  points  where  memory  fails  I  must  be  taught 
as  a  child." 

"  Right,  sir  ;  you  have  hit  it  exactly,"  exclaimed  the  doc- 
tor, taking  my  hand  with  enthusiasm.  '"  You  inspire  me 
with  more  and  more  conhdcncc,  and    in  your    case  I  am 


ON    THE   COURSE   OF    DISCIPLINE. 


77 


going  to  depart  somewliat  from  my  ordinary  custom.  I 
shall  assign  as  your  companion  a  young  man— a  nephew 
of  my  own— whom  you  will  find  an  agreeable  associate, 
and  who  will  be  more  likely  than  any  one  I  know  to  im- 
part the  knowledge  you  desire  quickly  and  ably.  With 
him  as  your  instructor  I  feel  convinced  that  before  the 
year  rolls  round  you  will  have  become  completely  restored 
to  yourself." 

Dr.  Setbon  then  left  me,  having  called  in  one  of  the 
attendants.  In  about  an  hour  he  returned,  and  with  him 
he  brought  his  nephew,  whom  he  introduced  simply  as 
Oliver. 


CHAPTER  IX. 


SOME    NECESSARY    STATISTICS. 


T  T  AVING  learned  by  some  sad  and  some  rather  hu- 
■*■  ^  morons  experiences,  I  diligently  set  myself  to  the 
task  of  acquiring  information  respecting  the  singular  land 
in  which  my  lot  was  now  cast.  I  called  to  mind  the  old 
adage  that  "  a  shut  mouth  makes  a  wise  head,"  and  in  my 
intercourse  with  those  in  whose  company  I  was  thrown  I 
contrived  after  a  time  to  extract  a  considerable  amount  of 
information  without  directly  asking  for  it.  Then,  too,  the 
Governor's  library  was  at  my  disposal,  and  of  the  works 
therein  I  availed  myself  freely.  There  was  of  course  a 
great  deal  that  was  wholly  incomprehensible,  for  the  ma- 
jority of  the  subjects  treated  of  were  of  a  mystical  charac- 
ter; and  of  the  remainder  the  greater  part  were  disserta- 
tions in  which  the  crudest  notions  of  the  properties  of 
numbers  were  combined  with  moral  speculations,  and  es- 
says of  a  recondite  and  didactic  character.  There  was 
one  book,  however,  that  afforded  me  some  insight  into  the 
origin  of  the  peculiar  islanders.  The  style  of  this  work 
was  of  an  elevated  and  poetic  type,  but  the  printing  was 
blind,  the  paper,  though  heavy,  was  of  a  poor  quality, 
and  the  language  at  times,  on  account  of  the  remark- 
able spelling,  almost  incomprehensible.  I  shall  not  vent- 
ure to  quote — although  my  memory  of  its  contents  is 
excellent — from  this  singular  production  ;  but  shall  en- 
deavor to  recount  such   of  its  statements  as  may  serve 

78 


SOME    NECESSARY    STATISTICS.  79 

to  give  some  general  idea  in  respect  to  the  history  of 
the  island.  Lil<.e  the  narratives  of  the  beginnings  of 
all  other  lands,  the  early  history  of  Inquirendo  Island  is 
evidently  either  myth  or  garbled  statement,  part  fact  and 
part  conjecture. 

It  is  gravely  stated  that  in  the  beginning  Mathematics 
created  all  things  ;  that  nine  days  were  occupied  in  this 
work,  and  that  on  the  ninth  day  nine  individuals — three 
males  and  three  females,  and  three  others — who  are  de- 
scribed as  workers,  were  sent  from  Heaven,  or  Oversea,  as 
it  is  indifferently  called,  and  from  whom  all  the  dwellers 
in  the  island  were  descended. 

From  certain  matters  of  internal  evidence,  and  a  proc- 
ess of  deduction  based  upon  the  character  of  the  writing 
and  the  description  that  was  given  of  these  nine  original 
Adams  and  Eves,  I  arrived  at  the  conclusion  that  they 
had  been  inhabitants  of  the  British  Isles,  and  flourished, 
as  the  historians  say,  about  the  close  of  the  sixteenth  cent- 
ury. The  three  men  are  described  in  the  first  chapter  of 
the  narrative  as  being  very  distinct  in  their  characteris- 
tics:  one,  who  was  called  the  Angel,  was  of  a  high  and 
noble  disposition  ;  another,  called  Caledon,  was  similar  to 
the  first,  but,  as  I  gathered,  more  warlike,  and  also  more 
industrious,  but  far  less  able  ;  while  the  third,  named 
Erin,  was  of  a  truculent  and  at  the  same  time  submissive 
disposition,  and  who  appeared  to  be  more  allied  to  the 
workers  than  to  the  others,  and  particularly  to  Angel. 

This  latter  personage  seems  to  have  possessed  qualities 
that  lifted  him  far  above  his  companions,  and  it  is  to  him 
that  the  civilization  of  the  island  was  attributed.  Indeed 
so  extraordinary  does  he  appear  in  the  narrative  that  I 
was  at  first  tempted  to  regard  him  as  purely  mythical. 
He   was   credited  with  the  invention  of   every  one  of   the 


8o  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

appliances  by  which  this  people  mitigated  the  severity  of 
life.  To  him  was  due  the  discovery  of  the  ores  of  iron, 
gold,  silver,  and  copper,  and  to  him  the  processes  by 
which  these  ores  were  utilized. 

From  him  this  peculiar  people  received  all  they  had  of 
religion,  as  to  which  I  shall  be  more  explicit  further  on. 

Then  also  he  devised  the  system  of  computation,  by 
which  all  accounts  were  kept,  and  by  which  all  reckoning 
was  done.  From  several  sources,  including  information 
procured  from  time  to  time  in  conversations,  I  became 
acquainted  with  certain  facts  pertaining  to  the  knowledge 
which  the  islanders  had  of  the  exact  sciences.  Their  year 
was  divided  into  three  hundred  and  sixty-five  days,  and, 
by  a  system  of  intercalations,  the  want  of  accord  between 
the  apparent  and  the  real  was  remedied.  The  notation 
by  which  they  expressed  quantities  w^as  of  the  most  extra- 
ordinary description,  and  which,  so  far  as  I  have  been  able 
to  discover,  bears  no  analogy  to  that  of  any  other  known 
system  that  has  ever  existed  upon  the  face  of  the  earth. 
It  was  all  based,  as  I  discovered  only  after  much  dili- 
gence, upon  the  remarkable  assumption  that  nine  was  the 
extreme  limit  to  which  the  human  mind  was  capable  of 
expanding.  Of  course  they  discovered  that  multiples  did 
exist  •,  but  their  only  notion  of  large  aggregations  of 
things  was  by  combinations  of  nines  and  other  lesser 
numbers,  arranged  in  accordance  with  empirical  formula. 
For  instance,  to  designate  365  they  used  this  expression : 
9S5  +  5,*  which  puzzled  me  at  first  exceedingly.  In  my 
researches  I  discovered  that  so  long  as  computations  were 
confined  to  the  nine  digits,  their  methods  and  ours  were 
identical ;    but,  as  will   more  fully  appear   hereafter,  ten 

*(9X8  X  5  + 5  =  365) 


SOME    NECESSARY   STATISTICS.  8l 

was  to  them  an  unknown  quantity:  lo  was  to  them  9  1- 
.  I  ;  II,  9  +  2  ;  81  in  their  method  was  written  99  ;  82,  99 
+  I,  and  so  on.  All  this  appears  to  us  exceedingly  com- 
plex and  cumbersome  ;  but  I  could  not  see  but  that  all 
ordinary  operations  were  performed  with  exactness  and 
despatch  by  the  islanders. 

Every  year  consisted  of  thirty-six  weeks  of  nine  days 
each,  the  ninth  day  corresponding  to  our  Sunday.  By 
this  arrangement  four  days  were  of  necessity  left  over  : 
but  this  was  remedied  by  adding  one  additional  week  every 
two  years  and  subtracting  one  every  sixth  year ;  but  as 
this,  in  the  course  of  time,  would  cause  the  year  to  fall 
short,  every  thirty-sixth  year  there  was  no  subtraction. 
This  with  the  dropping  of  a  day  every  forty-fourth  year, 
when  the  new  moon  coincided  with  the  opposition  of 
Mars,  brought  the  civil  and  solar  year  in  almost  exact 
accord ;  fully  as  much  as  by  the  Gregorian  calendar. 

Since  my  return  I  have  been  able  to  compare  the  meth- 
ods of  the  Inquirendians  with  those  of  other  civilizations, 
and  I  find  some  strange  similarities  between  them  and  the 
Egyptians,  and  also  the  Aztecs.  But  upon  all  this  I  shall 
not  enlarge.  I  might  have  had  more  to  say  in  respect 
to  these  coincidences,  but  the  Lentor  Library  has  been 
closed  so  long,  and  apparently  so  purposelessly,  that  I 
have  been  unable  to  examine  certain  very  valuable  works 
there,  and  especially  the  "  Codex,"  a  fac  simile  of  that  in 
the  Bodlein  Library.  The  system  of  nines  prevailed  in 
every  relation  upon  the  island.  The  political  arrange- 
ments were  dependent  upon  nine  and  its  multiples. 
There  were  nine  departments,  and  the  Council  of  Elders, 
by  which  appellation  I  refer  to  their  legislative  body,  was 
composed  of  eiglity-onc  delegates,  nine  from  each  depart- 
ment. The  judiciary  consisted  of  what  were  called  the 
6 


82  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Star  courts,  presided  over  by  a  justice,  appointed  by  the 
elders  in  the  several  departments,  and  which  had  jurisdic- 
tion in  minor  cases.  Next  to  these  were  the  moon  courts, 
one  in  each  department,  having  original  jurisdiction  in 
criminal  cases  only,  and  appellate  jurisdiction  in  civil  mat- 
ters. The  judges  were  appointed  by  the  council  and  held 
office  for  life.  Above  all  these  courts,  and  having  orig- 
inal and  appellate  jurisdiction  in  criminal  cases,  was  the 
Sun  Court,  whose  sittings  were  held  at  the  capital  or  chief 
city  in  the  centre  of  the  island,  where  also  the  elders  met. 
There  were  three  judges  of  the  sun  court,  elected  by  the 
council  and  holding  office  for  life.  In  all  these  courts 
there  was  a  system  of  jury  trials,  in  which,  as  with  us, 
matters  of  fact  were  submitted  to  the  jurors.  There  was 
also  what  was  designated  the  supreme  jury,  consisting  of 
nine  men  chosen  by  the  elders  for  their  high  character, 
whose  province  it  was  solely  to  try  those  who,  for  any 
cause,  should  be  impeached  by  the  elders.  The  officials 
subject  to  impeachment  were  the  judges  of  the  different 
courts  and  the  executive.  The  code  of  this  singular  peo- 
ple was  in  nothing  more  extraordinary  than  in  the  powers, 
privileges,  and  responsibilities  of  the  chief  magistrate. 

He  was  chosen  by  the  popular  vote  ;  his  term  of  office 
was  three  years,  and  during  the  time  of  his  occupancy  of 
the  executive  chair,  he  was  to  all  intents  and  purposes  an 
absolute  despot.  He  could,  if  it  so  pleased  him,  usurp  the 
functions  of  any  courts  or  any  judge,  and  by  his  arbitrary 
word  alone  mete  out  any  punishment  that  did  not  extend 
to  death.  The  police  or  army  of  the  island,  as  well  as  all 
the  subordinate  officers,  particularly  those  of  finance, 
the  special  officers,  such  as  governors  of  mines,  mints, 
prisons,  and  the  asylum,  were  all  directly  under  his  sway. 
It  was  his  prerogative  to  issue  writs  over  his  own  sign  a- 


SOME    NECESSARY    STATISTICS.  83 

ture  10  the  several  moon  courts — or  for  that  matter  to  th-.- 
other  courts — whereby  anyone  who  appeared  to  be  acting 
in  a  manner  inimical  to  the  peace  of  the  realm  could  be 
summarily  treated,  being  either  taken  before  the  executive 
in  person,  or  to  such  other  as  he  might  designate.  It  was 
thus  that  I  myself  was  dealt  with.  The  writ  of  Habeas 
Corpus  was  unknown  ;  but  a  far  more  potent  power  was 
retained  by  the  people,  and  which,  if  the  history  that  I 
have  quoted  is  to  be  relied  upon,  had  always  proved  suffi 
cient  to  preserve  their  liberties  :  it  was  the  powerful 
weapon  of  impeachment,  held  by  the  council  of  elders, 
who,  being  directly  responsible  to  the  people  by  whom 
they  were  elected,  had  the  most  extreme  interest  in  pre- 
venting the  least  approach  to  an  abuse  of  the  arbitrary 
power  confided  to  the  chief  magistrate.  The  punishment 
which  the  supreme  jury  was  authorized  to  inflict  was 
death — if  innocent,  acquittal  ;  if  guilty,  death.  This  tre- 
mendous power  had  been  sufficient,  so  it  was  asserted,  to 
prevent  any  despotism  and  to  restrain  the  successive 
despots. 

During  my  residence  on  the  island  I  visited  in  succes- 
sion every  part,  and  made  myself  acquainted  with  the 
working  of  the  system  of  government,  and  also  with  the 
social  constitution  in  every  respect.  As  nearly  as  I  could 
approximate,  the  island  was  one  hundred  and  sixty  miles 
long  from  east  to  west,  and  about  ninety  miles  wide  in  the 
widest  part.  The  population  I  estimated  to  be  about  one 
hundred  and  sixty  thousand,  of  whom  about  forty-five 
thousand  were  gathered  in  the  several  towns,  and  a  little 
less  than  ten  thousand  in  the  capital,  from  which  the  asy- 
lum to  which  I  had  been  first  conducted  was  distant  not 
many  miles.  Communication  was  kept  up  by  means  of 
roads,   some  of  which  were  macadamized  after  a  rough 


84  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

fashion  and  kept  in  order  by  the  government,  and  the  re- 
mainder of  which,  called  department  roads,  were  ill  made 
and  dusty  or  muddy,  and  kept  in  such  repair  as  they  were 
by  the  funds  of  the  several  departments. 

The  iron  mine  in  the  sixth  department  was  under  the 
charge  of  an  officer  directly  responsible  to  the  chief  mag- 
istrate. There  was  also  an  officer  in  control  of  the  cop- 
per mine  in  the  fourth  department.  The  silver  workings 
were  in  the  seventh  and  ihe  gold  in  the  ninth  department : 
but  these  were  not  productive,  and  the  chief  coins  of  the 
country  in  use  were  of  silver  and  copper.  My  possession 
of  fourteen  five-dollar  gold  pieces  and  some  silver  was  a 
very  great  advantage,  for  although  I  was  compelled  to 
have  my  gold  recoined,  the  amount  of  it  that  I  possessed 
was  sufficient  to  give  me  in  the  money  of  the  island  a 
very  considerable  property. 

I  was  careful  to  make  an  estimate  of  my  fortune,  and 
comparing  it  with  our  own  standard  I  arrived  at  the  conclu- 
sion that  I  was  worth  in  Inquirendo  the  equivalent  of 
seventy  or  eighty  thousand  dollars,  enough  to  render  me 
independent  of  all  labor. 

Stock  companies  were  unknown! ;  but  partnerships  were 
common.  There  were  only  a  few  ways  by  w'hich  capital 
could  be  invested.  The  land  itself  was  subject  to  purchase 
and  sale  ;  but  there  were  large  tracts  kept  by  the  govern- 
ment as  common  land  upon  which  at  a  fixed  rate  cattle  and 
sheep  could  be  pastured.  Money  could  therefore  be  in- 
vested in  lands  and  houses,  in  cattle  or  sheep,  and  also  in 
business  in  the  towns.  But  the  investment  most  favored 
by  the  people  of  means,  who  wished  to  spare  themselves 
all  trouble,  was  in  the  "  funds  "'  or  bonds  of  the  govern- 
ment. This  was  the  way  in  which  I  disposed  of  my  own 
fortune,  and  although   onI\-  two  per  cent,  was  realized,  I 


SOME    NECESSARY    STATISTICS.  '  85 

found  that  my  income  was  quite  sufficient  for  all  my 
needs. 

The  most  interesting  of  all  the  government  works  that 
I  was  enabled  to  visit  was  the  great  iron  "  Fabrican  "  as  it 
was  called,  situated  on  the  outskirts  of  the  town  in  the 
sixth  department,  adjoining  the  iron  mine,  and  in  close 
proximity  to  the  anthracite  coal  deposit,  which  I  omitted 
to  state  above  was  also  under  official  supervision.  This 
"  Fabrican  "  was  an  immense  structure,  or  rather  collection 
of  structures,  covering  altogether  as  much  as  six  acres. 
Its  walls  were  of  stone  and  very  massive,  the  bond  being 
a  cement  composed  mainly  of  puzzolana,  although  iron 
bolts  and  braces  were  used,  especially  at  the  corners. 
The  roof  was  peaked,  and  of  iron,  as  were  also  the  interior 
partitions.  Far  more  interesting,  however,  than  the  build- 
ing itself  was  the  process  of  manufacture  carried  on 
within.  As  to  this  it  will  be  impossible  to  make  more 
than  a  brief  mention.  It  is  proposed  to  make  an  early 
visit  to  the  island,  and  certain  scientific  gentlemen  have 
agreed  to  accompany  me  thither,  from  whom  a  more  full 
and  interesting  report  may  be  expected. 

My  own  scientific  education  is,  I  confess,  limited  ;  but  I 
happened  to  inherit  half  a  dozen  shares  of  the  stock  of  a 
gas  company  in  New  York,  and  so  became  interested  in 
all  matters  pertaining  to  gas ;  for  the  excellent  reason 
that  the  original  half  dozen  shares,  by  a  judicious  process 
of  watering,  has  since  become  a  liberal  fortune.  They 
call  it  now  "  consolidated  ;  "  perhaps  a  better  name  would 
be  "expanded." 

This,  however,  is  digressing.  I  felt  called  upon  to  al- 
lude to  gas,  inasmuch  as  in  the  "  Fabrican  "  the  ores  of 
iron — a  very  inferior  carbonate — were  converted  by  a 
series  of  processes  into  an}-  desired  manufactured  article 


86  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

by  the  aid  of  oxygen,  carbonic  oxide,  and  hydrogen  in 
regulated  proportions,  and,  what  was  more  remarkable 
still,  the  articles  so  manufactured  were  absolutely  non- 
corrodible,  not  only  as  to  their  surfaces,  but  throughout 
their  structure. 

I  have  now  in  my  possession  samples  of  this  iron  which 
I  shall  be  pleased  to  show  at  any  time  ;  although,  as  I 
stated  above,  a  full  report  upon  the  whole  subject  may  be 
expected  very  soon. 


CHAPTER  X. 

THE   GREATEST    COMMON    DIVISOR. 

T  N  the  preceding  chapter  I  summarized  the  information 
^  that  1  gathered  from  time  to  time  respecting  the  Inqui- 
rendians  and  their  manners  and  customs.  In  obtaining  all 
this  I  was  under  the  necessity  of  observing  great  caution  ; 
for  from  the  first  Oliver  assumed  that  I  was  well  informed 
upon  all  ordinary  subjects.  If  I  was  compelled  to  be  reti- 
cent as  to  a  great  many  things,  in  one  point  my  tongue  was 
allowed  full  swing.  I  was  at  liberty  to  ask  any  question  I 
saw  fit  as  to  religion,  and  indeed  my  friend  Oliver,  being 
of  a  serious  turn  of  mind,  was  exceedingly  diligent,  in  sea- 
son and  out  of  season,  in  striving  to  impress  me  with  what 
he  was  pleased  to  call  the  truth. 

All  our  arrangements  having  been  made,  Oliver  and  I 
set  out  upon  our  tour  of  exploration  of  the  island.  I  had 
the  joy  of  being  permitted  to  pass  an  evening  in  the  soci- 
ety of  Margery  before  we  departed,  and — Oliver  having 
been  discreet  enough  to  engage  the  attention  of  Mrs. 
Mavland — I  found  myself  so  enraptured  by  her  beauty 
and  loveliness  that  I  could  not  avoid  making  some  refer- 
ence to  the  passion  that  consumed  me. 

"  I  have  never  known  what  love  was,  Miss  Margery,"  I 
said,  as  we  sat  apart  from  the  rest  at  an  open  window  of 
the  Governor's  villa. 

She  looked  up  shyly,  her  face  sufifused  with  blushes. 

"  Never  until  I  saw  you."  Then  I  continued,  telling  her 
87 


88  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

how  hopeless  life  would  be  if  I  could  not  look  forward  to 
the  day  when  she  would  be  my  own.  Seeing  that  in  spite 
of  my  ardent  words  she  remained  silent,  I  pressed  her  for 
a  reply. 

"  Can  you  not  bid  me  hope  ?  "  I  said. 

She  had  cast  down  her  eyes  after  that  first  eager,  burn 
ing  look.     She  now  raised  them  again  to  mine. 

"  You  do  not  know  what  you  ask,  Mr.  Cliff,"  she  an- 
swered, in  a  tone  of  the  deepest  dejection. 

"  Why,  oh,  why  ?  " 

She  shook  her  head  sadly. 

"Tell  me,"  I  continued,  "only  tell  me  what  it  is  that 
stands  between  us.  Is  it  this  ban  that  is  upon  me  ?  Is 
it  because  I  am  not  yet  wholly  free  ?  " 

"No,  oh,  no." 

"  Say  only  that  I  may  hope,"  I  cried,  "  say  only  that, 
and  I  shall  be  satisfied." 

Still  no  reply.     Margery  was  painfully  embarrassed. 

"  I  love  you,"  I  exclaimed,  "  I  love  you,  my  darling, 
devotedly.  Can  you  not  say  that  the  time  may  come 
when  I  may — " 

Suddenly  Marger)'-  started.  I  looked  hastily  in  the  direc- 
tion of  her  glance.  There  stood,  with  a  grim  smile  upon 
his  scornful  mouth  and  a  sinister  look  in  his  black  eyes, 
the  hated  Gallwood. 

He  approached  slowly. 

"  Is  it  not  too  cool  by  the  open  window,  Margery,  my 
dear  ? "  he  said,  in  his  low  rasping  voice. 

As  if  under  the  spell  of  a  fascmation  which  she  could 
not  resist,  Margery  moved  away  from  the  window,  and 
from  me. 

I  rose  to  my  feet  angrily,  and  had  I  dared,  would  have 
spoken  my  mind  freely  to  the  man,  bidding  him  begone, 


THE   GREATEST   COMMON    DIVISOR.  89 

But  luckily  I  remembered  my  own  condition,  and  knew  in 
time  how  futile  it  would  be  to  provoke  a  contest  of  any 
sort. 

Gallwood  was  wonderfully  polite  to  me,  and  to  Margery 
deferential  in  the  extreme,  notwithstanding  the  slight 
tinge  of  exaction  in  his  arbitrary  tone.  What  right  had 
he,  I  asked  myself,  to  even  suggest  to  the  girl  that  she 
should  leave  my  side  ?  I  glanced  toward  her,  and  one 
look  of  encouragement,  however  slight,  and  hopeless  as  I 
felt,  would  have  caused  me  to  throw  off  all  restraint. 
Alas,  no  look  was  there  ;  but  on  the  contrary  a  listless, 
forlorn  expression,  almost  despairing.  Oliver  had  now 
risen,  and  Mrs.  Mayland  came  forward. 

"  Must  you  go  so  soon  ? "  she  said,  with  a  smile. 

"We  start  to-morrow  early,"  replied  Oliver.  "So  I 
think  Mr.  Cliff  and  I  had  better  say  good-night." 

Of  course  I  could  do  nothing  but  acquiesce.  I  strove 
in  vain  for  a  glance  from  Margery.  As  I  took  her  hand 
for  one  instant  in  mine  I  felt  that  it  was  cold  as  ice,  and 
with  the  touch  a  shudder  passed  over  her,  and  her  lips 
were  white  and  her  voice  tremulous  as  she  said  "good- 
by." 

Oliver  was  in  high  spirits  as  we  left  the  asylum  on 
our  journey.  Our  light  steel  buggy  was  drawn  by  a  spir- 
ited team  of  steers,  who  bore  us  swiftly  away  from  those 
gloomy  precincts.  On  the  crest  of  a  hill  I  turned  and 
cast  back  one  wistful  glance,  not  at  the  bleak  iron  walls 
which  had  been  to  me  a  prison,  but  at  the  lovely  villa 
where  dwelt  my  Marger}'. 

Oliver  talked  continually,  pointing  out  the  different 
spots  of  interest  as  we  spun  past  them,  and  explaining  in 
some  detail  the  plan  which  he  had  marked  out  for  our 
journey. 


90  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

It  is  not  needful  that  the  thread  of  the  narrative  should 
be  broken  to  relate  our  various  adventures.  SufBce  it 
that  on  the  first  night  we  found  ourselves  in  the  capital 
city,  having  traversed  the  greater  part  of  two  of  the 
departments.  We  drove  directly  to  an  inn,  on  the  main 
street  of  the  town. 

"To-morrow,"  said  Oliver,  as  I  was  about  to  retire  for 
the  night,  "  to-morrow  will  be  Numbers'  day,  and  we  shall 
then  begin  in  earnest  that  instruction  in  sacred  things 
which  it  is  my  province  and  duty  to  impart." 

As  we  had  ridden  along  over  the  roads  on  our  way  to 
the  capital,  Oliver  had  taken  occasion  to  impart  consider- 
able information,  some  of  which  I  have  in  fact  incorpo- 
rated into  the  prosy  chapter  that  preceded  this.  Little  by 
little  the  astounding  character  of  the  religion  of  this  won- 
derful people  was  made  known  to  me.  Astonished  as  I 
was  by  the  revelation  of  the  nature  of  what  I  heard,  I  was 
yet  exceedingly  careful  to  manifest  no  undue  surprise.  I 
heard  with  amazement  the  most  profound  that  the  Arith- 
metic was  the  revealed  word  of  Mathematics,  and  that  in 
the  four  ground  rules  was  to  be  found  the  way  of  life,  in 
which  the  fool  need  not  err.  I  said  nothing  when  Oliver 
told  me  that  he  had  himself  once  been  a  unit,  but  was  now 
an  integer,  having  been  cancelled  by  the  written  solution. 
I  kept  silent  when  he  informed  me  that  he  was  thinking 
of  becoming  a  minister  of  the  Established  church,  whose 
doctrines  were  based  upon  division,  resolved  into  its  com- 
ponent parts  of  dividend,  divisor,  and  quotient;  and  I 
was  careful  not  to  interrupt  when  he  told  me  that  there 
was  not  only  much  worldliness  but  considerable  heresy  on 
the  island,  and  that  erroneous  and  strange  doctrines  were 
being  preached. 

"  Hold  fast  to  the  truth,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  Oliver,  earnestly. 


THE   GREATEST   COMMON    DIVISOR.  91 

"as  you  shall  hear  it  expounded,  and  do  not  suffer  your, 
self  to  be  led  astray  by  any  fallacy,  however  alluring." 

I  was  awakened  the  morning  after  my  arrival  at  the  cap- 
ital by  the  cliinie  of  bells.  We  had  arrived  so  late  the 
previous  night  that  I  had  only  been  able  to  get  a  casual 
(^limpse  of  the  town.  I  now  went  to  the  window  and  looked 
out.  Below  in  the  street  the  tide  of  life  was  already  begin- 
ning to  surge  to  and  fro.  I  dressed  myself,  and  then  Oliver 
came  to  my  door,  (our  rooms  adjoined,)  and  we  went  down 
to  breakfast. 

At  an  hour  corresponding  to  our  half-past  ten  the  chimes 
again  began. 

"To-day,"  said  Oliver,  "we  shall  devote  the  morning 
to  the  services  of  the  Established  church,  and  this  even- 
ing, if  agreeable,  we  shall  go  to  the  Church  of  the  Holy 
Decimal." 

I  had  arrived  at  a  point  now  when  I  was  astonished  at 
nothing;  sol  responded,  "  All  right,"  in  a  tone  of  satis- 
faction, and  we  set  out  on  our  way  to  the  Cathedral. 

"  The  Cathedral  of  the  Greatest  Common  Divisor,"  Oli- 
ver explained,  "  is  considered  by  far  the  most  beautiful 
building  on  the  island.  The  ceremonies  that  you  will  see 
to-day  are  of  the  most  convincing  character,  and  you  will 
understand  better  by  your  own  observation  the  sacred 
realities  which  they  typify,  than  by  any  remarks  of  mine." 

"  What  do  these  ceremonies  consist  of  ?  "  I  asked. 

"The  rite  of  cancellation  will  be  administered  by  the 
apostle,  and  after  this,  and  the  services  of  high  notations, 
there  will  be  a  sermon  by  the  reverend  Paul  Patmos.  It 
is  this  sermon  to  which  I  desire  to  call  your  especial  atten- 
tion, for  it  is  always  the  custom  to  deliver  a  discourse  to 
the  newly  cancelled  integers,  which  you  will  doubtless  find 
replete  with  just  the  information  befitting  your  condition." 


92  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

•  By  this  time  we  had  arrived  at  the  door  of  the  vast 
cathedral.     It  was  indeed  a  superb  building. 

A  tall  iron  tower  rose  in  the  centre,  from  which  the 
chiming  bells  pealed  forth.  The  walls  of  the  edifice  were 
of  solid  stone,  beautifully  laid  in  courses  and  adorned 
with  sculptured  figures  of  stone  and  iron,  all  of  surpass- 
ing beauty.  Here  and  there,  too,  at  the  angles  were  iron 
turrets,  partly  gilded,  and  ornamented  with  intricate 
arabesques.  The  style  of  the  architecture  differed  from 
any  that  I  had  ever  seen,  though  I  have  since  found  that 
it  was  not  uncommon  in  the  island.  Square  in  shape,  the 
size  of  the  cathedral  was  immense.  It  must  have  occu- 
pied, with  its  adjoining  structures — wherein,  as  Oliver  ex- 
plained, dwelt  the  apostle  and  the  ministers  of  the  diocese, 
— upwards  of  ten  or  twelve  acres. 

Within,  the  sight  was  one  of  entrancing  beauty.  As  the 
exterior  of  the  building  was  square  in  form,  so  the  interior 
was  circular,  and  the  roof,  supported  by  elegantly  chased 
and  enamelled  columns,  was  arranged  in  segments  and 
angles  in  such  a  manner  that  the  slightest  sound  from  the 
central  platform,  whereon  all  the  ceremonies  were  con- 
ducted, was  reflected  to  the  audience,  who  sat,  tier  above 
tier,  in  rows  of  seats  in  a  great  circle. 

When  we  entered,  the  larger  part  of  the  audience  was 
already  seated,  and  it  was  not  long  before,  at  the  sharp 
clang  of  a  silver  bell,  the  doors  of  the  cathedral  were 
closed,  and  a  dead  silence  fell  upon  the  multitude.  Then 
in  a  low  plaintive  cadence  strains  of  subdued  music  rose 
upon  the  air,  and  at  the  same  instant,  as  by  magic,  the  cir- 
cular platform  or  dais  in  the  centre  was  filled  by  a  multi- 
tude of  children,  all  clad  in  blue  garments,  and  from  whose 
arms  were  suspended  fleecy  white  draperies.  As  they  sang 
or  chanted,  keeping  time  to  the  music  that  rose  and  fell, 


THE   GREATEST   COMMON    DIVISOR.  93 

these  children  swayed  their  arms  to  and  fro  with  an  ha; 
monious  motion. 

I  could  distinguish  no  words,  but  the  air  seemed  to  be 
a  familiar  one  that  I  had  often  listened  to  at  home. 

The  hymn  ended,  the  children  disappeared,  and  their 
places  were  supplied  by  a  number  of  individuals  who  ap- 
peared to  be  clergymen,  although  their  vestments  were  of 
a  pattern  hardly  befitting  my  own  ideas  of  that  sacred  call- 
ing. They  were  all  in  fact  arrayed  in  azure,  as  the  chil- 
dren had  been,  but  without  the  fleecy  white  wings.  A 
long  and  peculiar  ceremonial  now  ensued,  in  which  reading 
alternated  with  music,  and  wherein  at  intervals  the  chil- 
dren appeared  and  disappeared  and  reappeared,  flitting  in 
and  out  among  the  azure-clad  elders.  There  was  little 
that  I  could  understand  of  the  reading,  except  that  it  was 
from  the  Arithmetic,  the  drawling  tone  of  the  reader  pre- 
venting any  sure  comprehension. 

At  last  there  was  a  sudden  hush,  and  from  the  midst  of 
those  who  were  officiating,  stepped  to  the  circumference 
of  the  circular  dais  an  aged  and  venerable  prelate,  who 
moved  round  till  he  had  made  the  entire  circle  of  the  plat- 
form, crying  as  he  went  in  a  loud  voice  :  "  Ciphers  about 
to  be  enrolled  as  integers  by  the  rites  of  the  church  will 
now  come  forward." 

There  was  a  movement  amidst  the  audience,  and  down 
the  convergent  aisles,  here  and  there,  young  and  old  were 
seen  making  their  way. 

The  blue  and  white  children  reappeared,  chanting, 
"  Cancellation  !  oh,  glorious  cancellation  !  "  to  which  the 
prelate  who  had  first  spoken  responded,  ''Who  are  to 
be  thereby  made  fit  for  Oversea." 

Various  other  sentences  were  sung  and  recited,  some- 
times in  unison  and  again   alternately,  the  people  joining. 


94  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Meanwhile,  the  candidates  for  cancellation  had  come  for- 
ward and  were  arranged  on  a  row  of  seals  immediately  in 
front  of  the  platform.  When  they  were  all  seated,  tlu- 
music  ceased,  the  children  vanished,  and  the  clergy  in 
silence  and  with  a  ghostly,  gliding  motion,  filed  around 
and  seated  themselves,  facing  outward,  at  the  foot  of  a 
sort  of  rostrum  in  the  exact  centre.  Upon  this  rostrum 
now  mounted  the  venerable  prelate,  who  appeared  to  be 
the  chief  of  the  ceremonial,  and  who  was  indeed  (as  I  was 
afterward  told  by  Oliver)  the  apostle,  or  chief  bishop,  of 
the  Established  church. 

Here  the  apostle  stood  erect  at  his  full  height,  but  turn- 
ing round  continually  with  his  head  thrown  back  and 
face  upward,  till  I  thought  it  must  surely  have  made  him 
dizzy.  All  the  time  he  kept  up  a  monotonous  mumbling, 
the  purport  of  which  I  could  not  understand.  At  length 
he  called  aloud  the  single  word  "  Numbers  !  "  There  was 
intense  silence  for  an  interval,  and  then  he  cried  again, 
yet  louder,  thrice:  "Numbers!  Numbers!  Numbers!" 
As  he  concluded,  down  from  the  summit  of  the  dome  above 
him,  held  by  golden  cords  at  the  corners,  appeared  a 
square  concern  that  I  saw  instantly  was  made  of  wood. 
It  was  the  first  wood  that  I  had  seen  on  the  island,  and 
more  intently  observing  it,  I  perceived  that  it  was  evidently 
a  raft,  an  ordinary  raft,  made  up  of  detached  parts  of  a 
vessel  of  a  very  old-time  pattern.  It  swung  down  lower 
and  lower,  till  it  was  suspended  directly  over  the  prelate's 
head.  He  reached  out  his  hand  and  touched  it,  saying  as 
he  did  so  in  a  loud  voice,  "  Oh,  blessed  raft,  to  whom  we 
owe  our  lives  eternally.     Be  blessed  forever." 

When  these  words  had  been  uttered  the  raft,  swaying 
from  side  to  side,  was  drawn  up  again  by  the  golden  cords 
into   the   dome.     As    it    disappeared  all    the   multitude 


THE   GREATEST    COM>.rO\    DIVISOR.  95 

bowed  their  heads,  and  the  apostle  lifted  up  his  arms,  hold- 
ing them  extended  wide,  his  eyes  cast  upward.  Then 
gradually  his  arms  fell  to  his  side,  and  as  he  turned  his 
face  earthward,  three  young  priests  issued  forth  from 
beneath  the  dais,  bearing  on  their  shoulders  an  immense 
silver  bowl.  They  circled  round  the  platform  while  ihL 
apostle,  descending,  came  and  walked  beside  them.  A; 
intervals  the  apostle  reached  out  his  hand,  dipped  it  into 
the  contents  of  the  silver  vessel,  and,  reciting  certain 
words  monotonously,  sprinkled  the  candidates  with  the 
fluid  contents.  It  was  a  dense  black  liquid  that  the  bowl 
contained  ;  but  it  was  not  till  afterwards  that  I  was  in- 
formed by  Oliver  that  it  was  ink — the  ink  washed  from 
the  sacred  notations  inscribed  by  the  candidates  as  a  pre- 
lude to  cancellation. 

It  was  the  sacred  written  solution  of  the  Arithmetic. 

When  thrice  again  the  circuit  had  been  made  the 
three  young  priests  descended  into  the  dim  recess  beneath 
the  chancel,  and  the  apostle  continued  his  solemn  pacing 
alone;  chanting — now  in  unison  with  the  children  and 
the  cancelled  ones — a  low  melodious  refrain,  weird  and 
wonderful. 

The  journey  ended,  the  apostle  seated  himself  upon 
ihe  cushioned  steps  of  the  dais,  and  the  music  and  the 
chanting  ceased.  There  was  an  interval  of  solemn  si- 
lence. All  heads  were  bowed,  and  I  heard  now  and  then 
the  sound  of  low  sobbing  from  the  benches  below  where 
i!ic  new-made  integers  knelt.  Oliver  at  my  side  had  also 
sunk  upon  his  knees,  and  his  eyes,  cast  reverently  up- 
ward, were  filled  with  tears.  His  attitude  of  devotion, 
liis  clasped  hands  and  streaming  eyes,  were  positive  evi- 
dences of  the  most  devout  and  intense  religious  feeling. 

All  Aliat  multitude  were  engaged  in  prayer,  in  which — 


96  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

SO  potent  is  the  example  of  true  emotion — I  uncon- 
sciously joined,  praying  to  the  God  in  whom  I  had  been 
taught  to  believe  for  help  in  all  my  adversity. 

The  silent  prayer  ended,  one  of  the  younger  priests 
arose,  and  circling  the  platform  announced  that  the  Rev- 
erend Paul  Patmos  would  preach. 

"  My  discourse,  it  is  true,"  said  the  Reverend  Mr.  Pat- 
mos, "  is  addressed  to  you,  beloved  integers,  who  have  just 
been  cancelled,  and  thereby  become  the  inheritors  of  a  new 
nature  ;  no  longer  naughts  or  units,  the  old  things  have 
passed  away,  and  you  have  entered  upon  a  new  life. 
With  your  cancellation  vows  you  have  put  off  forever  the 
old  leaven  of  abstraction,  and  are  henceforth  concrete 
and  heirs  of  Oversea,  For  what  saith  the  Arithmetic  ? 
'  A  concrete  number  is  applied  to  a  particular  thing ;  but 
an  abstract  is  not  applied.'  What  could  possibly  be 
plainer  or  more  convincing  than  this  ?  By  a  particular 
thing  (or  person,  as  the  marginal  reading  is),  we  plainly 
discern  one  who  is  particular  in  his  daily  walk  and  con- 
versation. 

"  There  has  been  much  diversity  of  opinion  among 
mathematicians  as  to  the  sense  in  which  the  word  '  ap- 
plied '  should  be  taken,  and  some,  not  sufficiently  ap- 
prehending the  spirit  of  Division,  have  insisted  that  the 
word  was  really  apples,  and  in  support  of  this  argument 
the  story,  plainly  a  myth,  of  a  certain  Adam,  is  gravely 
brought  forward. 

"You  have,  as  problems,  been  duly  instructed.  You 
have  learned  that  Mathematics  is  found  in  the  Dividend, 
Divisor,  and  Quotient,  and  that  outside  of  the  Arithme- 
tic was  nothing  to  be  learned  of  any  abiding  value.  In 
the  act  of  being  plunged  into  the  written  solution  and  re- 
ceiving on   your  brow  the  mysterious   and  sacred  sign  of 


THE   GREATEST    COMMON    DIVISOR, 


97 


division,  you  have  become  integers,  and  as  such,  heirs  of 
the  promise. 

"  Brethren,  do  not  forget  your  high  caUing.  Be  instant 
in  expressing  yourselves,  not  alone  by  notation,  but  also 
by  numeration.  There  be  those  who  will  seek  to  delude 
you  from  the  plain  path;  but  be  not  deceived,  neither 
notation  availeth  anything  nor  numeration,  but  to  be  an 
integer, 

"To  express  numbers,  as  the  Arithmetic  plainly  read- 
eth,  three  methods  are  given :  by  words,  which,  as  the 
context  justifies  us,  meaneth  aloud,  that  our  fellow  men 
may  know  how  firm  we  are  in  the  faith  ;  by  letters — also 
called  the  Roman  method — whereby  we  write  down  our 
desires,  and  place  them  in  the  hands  of  our  pastors ; 
and  by  figures,  where  we  indicate,  or  our  pastors  indicate 
for  us,  ofur  desires  in  what  is  commonly  called  chalktalk  on 
a  blackboard.  All  these  methods  are  admissible,  and  are 
acceptable  to  Numbers  and  to  Mathematics.  In  this  capi- 
tal city  I  need  hardly  call  your  attention  to  the  manifest 
wording  of  the  Arithmetic,  which  speaks  of  the  seven 
capital  letters,  and  is  an  assured  revelation  that  the  so- 
called  Roman  method  is  more  acceptable  here  than 
either  of  the  other  two. 

"  I  need  not  warn  you,  brethren  and  integers,  of  the  de- 
vices by  which  the  Arch  Ten  seeks  to  destroy  you.  Do 
not  suffer  yourselves  to  be  deluded.  Some  will  seek  to 
persuade  you  that  to  express  numbers  by  letters  is  wrong, 
because  it  is  called  the  Roman  method.  To  all  such  turn 
a  deaf  ear.     Truth  is  mighty  and  will  prevail. 

"Let  me  earnestly  counsel  you  to  beware  of  false 
prophets.  Give  diligent  heed  to  what  your  pastors  incul- 
cate, so  that  when  you  are  divided  at  last  there  may  be  no 
remainder.  Remember  what  the  Arithmetic  saith  :  '  The 
7 


98  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

dividing  of  both  divisor  and  dividend  by  the  same  num- 
ber does  not  change  the  value  of  the  quotient.'  And  again 
in  another  place,  '  The  multiplying  of  both  divisor  and 
dividend  by  the  same  number  doth  not  change  the  value 
of  the  quotient.'  And  mark  the  fate  of  the  wicked  !  Again 
the  Arithmetic  saith  :  '  Cut  off  the  ciphers  from  the  right 
of  the  divisor,'  and  a  part  of  the  same  passage,  '  Annex 
the  figures  cut  off  to  the  remainder,  if  there  be  one.'  How 
solemn  these  words,  and  how  their  import  should  sink 
into  the  heart.  It  admonishes  us  to  keep  our  loins 
girded." 


M 


CHAPTER   XL 

OLIVER    IMPARTS    INFORMATION. 

R.  PATMOS  here  concluded  his  sermon,  and  stepped 
down  from  the  rostrum.  At  a  signal  from  the 
apostle  all  the  multitude,  priests,  integers,  singers,  and 
the  whole  assembly,  rose  to  their  feet,  and  the  music 
swelled  out  into  a  delicious  strain. 

At  the  conclusion  of  the  anthem,  which  was  now  chanted, 
the  cono-re^ation  again  bent  their  heads  for  a  short  time 
in  silence  and  then  slowly  dispersed.  Oliver  and  I  made 
our  way  down  the  aisle  into  the  street,  and  on  our  way 
back  to  the  inn  we  were  both  very  thoughtful.  What  a 
strange  spectacle  it  was  of  which  I  had  been  a  witness. 
The  gorgeous  ceremonial  and  the  devoutness  of  that  vast 
multitude  were  contrasted  in  my  mind  forcibly  with  the 
frivolity  and  absurdity  of  the  rites  of  the  church.  The 
sermon,  to  which  I  had  listened  most  attentively,  had 
been  delivered  in  a  perfunctory,  almost  indifferent  way, 
in  a  droning  voice,  and  with  hardly  any  gestures  or  in- 
flection. What  Mr.  Patmos  delivered  had  been  read  from 
a  roll  held  in  his  hand,  from  which  occasionally  he  lifted 
his  eyes,  and  when  he  turned  a  leaf  of  the  manuscript  he 
sometimes  took  the  opportunity  to  gesticulate  in  a  feeble, 
inanimate  way.  Feeble  and  inanimate  as  he  had  been,  I 
could  not  fail  to  observe  that  there  were  many  there,  be- 
sides the  integers  to  whom  his  remarks  had  been  espe- 
cially addressed,  who  were  deeply  affected.  My  friend 
Oliver  was  profoundly  so. 

99 


lOO  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

As  we  walked  on  in  silence  I  took  note  of  the  appear- 
ance of  the  throng  that  issued  forth  from  the  portals  of 
the  cathedral.  While  within  the  walls  the  greater  portion 
of  these,  especially  the  elders,  were  grave  and  subdued ; 
but  once  outside  they  began  laughing  and  chatting  in  the 
most  frivolous  and  worldly  way  imaginable.  They  were 
without  exception  well  dressed,  and  their  manners  were 
those  of  cultivated  people. 

Some  of  their  conversation  I  could  not  avoid  over- 
hearing. 

"  Oh,  Mira,  did  you  notice  that  odious  bonnet  ?  " 

"  Whose  ? "  responded  the  one  addressed,  a  girl  in  her 
teens,  as  was  also  her  companion. 

"Why,  Kate  Pufif's,  to  be  sure." 

"Yes,  I  noticed  it ;  wasn't  it  abominable  ?  " 

"  And  how  rudely  she  behaved  during  the  service — " 

"  I  wasn't  paying  attention  to  her.  It  was  as  much  as 
I  could  do  to  keep  my  face  straight,  seeing  that  Louisa 
Bolster  being  cancelled — " 

"  Louisa  Bolster  !  you  don't  mean  to  tell  me  that  she 
was  cancelled  !  " 

"  She  was,  I  saw  her  with  my  own  eyes." 

"You  don't  tell  me  !  " 

"  Isn't  it  too  absurd  ?  " 

"  I  should  say  so.  The  way  that  girl  carries  on  is  per- 
fectly shocking." 

"But  how  did  you  like  Mr.  Patmos?  Isn't  he  fine- 
looking?  " 

"  La  !  no,  do  you  ?  " 

"By  the  way,  to  change  the  subject,  when  did  you  see 
Fred  last  ?  " 

The  other  girl  blushed,  and  laughed,  and  tossed  her 


OLIVER    IMPARTS    INFORMATION.  lOI 

head.  She  made  some  response,  but  as  they  turned  down 
a  side  street,  I  did  not  hear  it. 

Two  stout,  elderly  gentlemen  were  directly  behind  us. 
At  first  they  talked  in  low  tones,  but  as  they  went  on 
they  became  animated,  and  I  caught  something  of  what 
was  said. 

"  What  was  the  quotation  at  the  last  call .?  " 

Some  reply  was  made  that  I  did  not  catch, 

"  It's  going  to  be  a  bull  market  all  next  week,"  the  first 
speaker  continued,  "mark  my  words." 

"That  depends  upon  the  news  from  the  East,"  said  the 
other.  "  I  tell  you,  prices  are  up  now  higher  than  they 
ought  to  be — " 

"Perhaps  so;  but  they're  bound  to  go  higher." 

So  they  talked,  elbowing  their  way  past  us.  As  they 
went  by  I  recognized  the  two  pompous,  burly,  well-fed, 
elderly  men  who  sat  in  the  pew  in  front  of  us  in  the 
cathedral,  and  who  had  been  especially  diligent  in  mak- 
ing those  responses  in  which  the  congregation  joined. 

Oliver  and  I  sat  down  in  the  little  parlor  of  the  inn,  but 
for  some  time  nothing  was  said.  Oliver  had  his  Arith- 
metic, and  employed  himself  in  perusing  its  contents.  At 
last,  holding  the  book  open  in  his  lap,  he  looked  up 
at  me. 

"  Did  you  not  find  the  services  very  impressive  this 
morning,  Mr.  Cliff?"  he  asked. 

"  Very,"  I  answered. 

"  Mr.  Patmos'  discourse  was  a  very  able  one,"  contin- 
ued Oliver,  "  and  one  calculated  to  do  great  good." 

"  It  was  certainly  very  instructive." 

"  Yes,  and  what  is  more  to  the  purpose,  so  doctrinal. 
Mr.  Patmos  is  a  most  excellent  man,  and  more  than  that, 
a  good  churchman." 


I02  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  There  were  some  few  things  that  I  did  not  exactly 
understand — " 

"  Ask  any  questions  you  like,  Mr.  Cliff.  I  shall  be  most 
happy  to  explain  ;  though  it  did  appear  to  me  that  the 
entire  scheme  of  division  was  most  ably  elucidated  in  Mr. 
Patmos'  excellent  address  to  the  integers." 

"What  was  that  thing  that  was  let  down  from  the 
roof  ? " 

Oliver  looked  at  me  with  a  horrified  expression. 

"  Is  it  possible  that  is  unknown  to  you  ?  " 

I  nodded. 

"  Strange,  strange,"  murmured  Oliver ;  "  that  was  the 
Holy  Raft." 

"  What  is  that  ? " 

Oliver  hesitated. 

"  I  hardly  know  how  to  explain,"  he  answered,  "  so  as 
to  convey  the  sublime  truth  of  which  that  is  the  sign  and 
token  to  your  unenlightened  mind.  It  is  the  emblem  of 
our  division,  whereby  we  are  saved  from  Undersea. 
Thereby  Numbers  in  a  mysterious  way  rescued  our  fathers, 
and  thereby  rescued  also  us.  They  who  are  only  ciphers 
become  by  the  means  of  the  Holy  Raft  and  the  written 
solution  saved  forever." 

"  Saved  from  what  ? " 

"  From  Undersea." 

"  Where  is  Undersea,  and  what  is  it  ? " 

"It  is  a  place  of  endless  drowning:  a  place  of  eternal 
torment,  of  groans  and  gasps,  and  frantic  cries,  and 
strangling  and  despair.  A  place  where  the  Arch  Ten  holds 
sway  over  all  who  neglect  the  ordinances  of  the  church 
and  deny  the  truths  of  the  Arithmetic ;  a  place  where 
Mathematics  is  not ;  but  where  despair  reigns." 

"  Then  to  be  saved  one  must  believe — "  I  began. 


OLIVER    IMPARTS    INFORMAIION. 


103 


"  Believe  on  the  Holy  Raft,"  Oliver  answered,  solemnly. 
"  Be  a  partaker  in  the  ordinances,  and  be  made  an  in- 
teger by  the  written  solution." 

"  And  is  that  the  only  way  ?  " 

"The  only  way,"  he  repeated. 

"  And  if  I  do  not,  or  cannot  believe  ? " 

"  Then  you  are  eternally  drowned.  The  Arithmetic  is 
conclusive  on  that  point.  Here  in  this  volume  I  turn  to 
passage  after  passage,  all  having  the  same  fearful  import. 
The  one  quoted  by  Mr.  Patmos  in  his  sermon  this  morn- 
ing is  apt  and  to  the  point :  '  Cut  off  the  ciphers — '  so  it 
reads.  What  could  be  more  conclusive  ?  Those  who  do 
not  become  grafted  into  the  church  by  cancellation  are 
*  cut  off  forever,'  so  the  Arithmetic  saith,  'from  the  right 
of  the  Divisor.'  Thenceforth  for  them  is  nothing  after 
ocean  but  Undersea." 

"  After  ocean  ?  " 

"  In  other  words,  after  death." 

"  Oh,  then  ocean  and  death  are  equivalent  terms." 

"  Certainly  ;  were  you  not  at  least  familiar  with  that 
fact .'  " 

"  It  did  not  occur  to  me,"  I  answered,  a  little  embar- 
rassed at  Oliver's  surprised  tone. 

He  sighed  deeply,  as  he  said,  "  It  is  my  sincere  hope 
that  what  you  have  heard  to-day  may  be  the  beginning 
of  a  new  life  to  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  so  that  at  the  last  you  may 
dwell  forever  in  Oversea.  Ah!  here  comes  dinner  :  roast 
lamb  and  mint  sauce.  Draw  up  your  chair,  Mr.  Cliff,  we 
can  converse  upon  these  subjects  again  at  our  leisure." 

After  we  had  finished  our  pudding  I  ventured  thought- 
lessly to  say  that  I  should  like  a  good  cigar. 

"  A  what  ?  "  asked  Oliver. 

"A  ci2:ar.     I  haven't  had  a  smoke  in  an  agre.     I  am  not 


I04  INQL'IRENDf)    ISLAND. 

a  slave  to  the  weed,  but  I  confess  now  and  then  I  like  a 
good  havanna." 

Oliver  stared. 

"  I  wholly  fail  to  understand  you,  Mr,  Cliff.  What  is  it 
you  mean  by  a  cigar  or  an  havanna  ?  " 

At  once  I  recollected  myself.  In  my  fraternizing  with 
Oliver  I  had  almost  persuaded  myself  that  old  times  had 
come  again.  The  church  services  that  morning,  the 
snatches  of  conversation  to  which  I  had  been  a  listener, 
and  the  geniality  of  my  friend  had  been  all  so  like  home 
scenes,  in  the  general  tone  of  human  sympathy  pervading 
them,  that  I  had  been  beguiled  into  forgetfulness.  I 
blushed,  and  for  a  moment  hesitated. 

Oliver  noted  my  embarrassment,  but  like  the  kindly 
fellow  that  he  was,  he  put  the  matter  aside. 

"Don't  fall  to  dreaming,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said;  "of  all 
things  don't  allow  yourself  to  do  that.  Now  this  after- 
noon you  can  have  your  choice  ;  you  can  either  remain 
here  comfortably  at  home — take  a  nap  if  you  choose — or, 
if  you  prefer  it,  there  are  services  that  you  can  attend — " 

"  Church  services  ?  " 

Oliver  smiled. 

"  Hardly  that.  We  of  the  Established  church  are  not 
willing  to  go  quite  that  length.  Say  rather  services  of 
the  other  denominations.  Our  own  we  regard  as  the 
only  real  true  church,  though  I  am  free  to  admit  that 
in  their  way  most  of  the  others  have  their  uses." 

"Then  there  are  other  bodies  of — " 

"  Sects  ;  oh,  yes,  I  am  sorry  to  say  that  sectarianism  is 
rife  at  the  present  day — painfully  so." 

"  How  many  of  these  sects  are  there  ?  " 

"  There  are  quite  a  number  professing  doctrines  widely 
at  variance  with  the  truth.     One — which,  by  the  way,  I 


OLIVER    IMl'AR'rs    INFORMATION.  IO5 

am  perhaps  not  altogether  justified  in  calling  a  sect — i  > 
the  Church  of  the  Decimals.  They  are  a  part,  so  U> 
speak,  of  our  own  church,  though  out  of  the  Establish- 
ment." 

"  And  the  others — what  is  their  belief.''  " 

"Oh,  as  to  their  belief,"  responded  Oliver,  airily,  "what 
they  profess  and  what  they  practice  are  two  very  different 
things." 

"  Then  these  others  are  not  good  people,"  I  ventured 
to  remark. 

Oliver  shook  his  head. 

"  I  am  not  prepared  to  say  that  there  are  not  many 
without  the  pale  of  the  church  who  are  actuated  by  good 
motives.  Some  I  know  are  estimable  citizens ;  but  yet 
they  are  not  partakers  of  the  ordinances." 

"  Do  they  not  believe  as  you  believe  ?  " 

"  In  a  measure  I  must  answer  yes ;  at  least  they  profess 
to." 

"  Do  they  believe  in  Mathematics  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  of  course." 

"  And  in  Numbers  }  " 

"  They  nearly  all  profess  to  do  so ;  how  sincerely  I 
cannot  myself  say." 

"  Do  they  believe  in  the  raft  ?  " 

"  That  is,  in  the  main,  the  profession  that  they  make." 

"  Then  in  what  respects  do  these  sects  differ  from  the 
church  ?  " 

"  They  differ  radically  in  many  essentials — " 

"  For  instance  ?  " 

"  In  the  first  place,  take  the  Multipliers — " 

"  The  Multipliers  ?  " 

"  Yes;  those  who  adhere  to  the  doctrines  of  one  Calvin 


Io6  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Multiple,  who  assert  that  Mathematics  consist  solely  of 
the  Multiplier,  Multiplicand,  and  Product — " 

"  That  is  absurd,"  I  said  involuntarily. 

'•  Of  course  it  is  absurd  •,  but  I  am  extremely  glad  to 
see  that  you  appear  to  grasp  the  subject  so  quickly. 
Then  that  does  really  strike  you  as  absurd  ? " 

"  To  be  sure  it  does,"  I  answered,  honestly  enough. 

"  There  is  great  hope  for  you,  Mr.  Cliff.  I  feel  confi- 
dent that  in  your  case  the  right  course  is  being  taken." 

"  Are  there  other  sects  beside  this  one  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  the  next  in  point  of  influence,  and  superior 
to  that  which  I  have  named  in  the  sum  of  attendants,  is 
the  Subtracters,  who  adhere  to  the  pernicious  notion  that 
the  Subtrahend,  Minuend,  and  Diliference  constitute  Math- 
ematics." 

"  How  ridiculous  !  "  I  observed,  naturally  feeling  pro- 
foundly what  1  said. 

"  How  glad  I  am  that  it  presents  itself  to  you  in  that 
light,"  said  Oliver,  earnestly.  "  It  shows  conclusively  that 
the  morning's  work  has  not  been  in  vain.  Beside  those 
named  there  are  others,  inferior  in  influence,  who  promul- 
gate their  doctrines  :  the  Adders,  the  Numerators,  and  the 
Denominators.  Then  there  are  others  still,  calling  them- 
selves the  Reformed  Adders,  the  Reformed  Numerators, 
and  so  on." 

"  But  still  you  say  that  all  these  sects  believe  in  certain 
things  in  common  with  the  church.  Please  explain 
wherein  the  exact  difference  lies." 

"  For  one  thing,  they  all — I  may  say  all — refuse  due 
submission  to  the  church ;  impiously  denying  the  va- 
lidity of  the  authority  of  the  apostle,  and  of  the  priests 
and   pastors,    and    sacrilegiously    scouting   the    truth    in 


OLIVER    IMPARTS    INFORMATION  IO7 

respect  to  the  mysterious  change  whereby  in  the  written 
solution  ciphers  are  changed  to  integers." 

"  You  speak  of  ciphers  being  changed  to  integers.  I 
noticed  a  number  of  babies  on  the  front  row  during  that 
ceremony  this  morning." 

"  Oh,  yes,  the  church  receives  infants." 

'■  And  do  they  too  become  integers  by  cancellation  ?  " 

"  Not  by  cancellation,  but  by  the  written  solution," 

"  And  is  the  effect  the  same  ?  " 

"  Precisely,  in  effect  it  is.  When  these  infants  arrive 
at  mature  years  they  renew  their  vows  by  cancellation." 

"  Do  Ihe  other  sects  admit  infants  .''  " 

"  Some  do,  and  some  do  not  •,  but  let  me  assure  you,  Mr. 
Cliff,  that  all  these  other  sects  have  very  widely  departed 
from  the  truth.  They  have,  or  some  of  them  have,  a  form 
by  which  they  profess  to  believe  a  cipher  can  be  converted 
into  an  integer  by  what  they  call  a  mental  solution." 

"  Then  they  use  no  ink  ?  "  I  asked. 

Oliver  became  very  grave. 

"  It  is  not  called  ink,  it  is  the  written  solution,"  he  re- 
plied. 

'•  I  think  I  should  like  to  go  to  one  of  these  churches 
this  afternoon,"  I  said,  after  a  pause,  "  if  it  is  agreeable  to 
you." 

I  saw  that  Oliver  felt  a  little  annoyed,  but  he  was  verv 
polite,  and  expressed  himself  as  being  perfectly  willing  to 
accompany  me. 

"There  is  the  Multipliers'  place  of  expression  on  the 
corner  of  Main  Street,  just  above  here,"  said  he.  "  They 
call  it  the  Church  of  the  Least  Common  Multiple.  I  do 
not  know^  how  true  it  is,  never  having  heard  him,  but  they 
say  that  Mr.  Straitlase  is  a  fine  pulpit  orator," 


CHAPTER  XII. 

CHURCH    OF    THE    LEAST   COMMON    MULTIPLE. 

'  I  ^HE  edifice  that  was  usually  known  as  the  church  of 
■^  the  "  Least  Common  Multiple  "  was  a  structure  of  a 
very  different  character  from  the  magnificent  cathedral. 
It  was,  without  and  within,  strikingly  plain — indeed,  barn- 
like in  want  of  ornament. 

We  entered  and  were  shown  to  seats  with  much  polite- 
ness. These  seats  were  arranged  in  rows  facing  in  one 
direction,  and  the  appearance  of  the  interior  did  not  dif- 
fer greatly  from  one  of  our  plainer  churches  in  New  York  ; 
that  is,  so  far  as  the  general  characteristics  went. 

In  the  place  usually  allotted  to  the  reading  desk  was  a 
long  platform,  upon  which  were  already  seated  when  we 
arrived  three  persons  in  the  ordinary  attire  of  the  island- 
ers. 

The  audience  collected  slowly,  and  was  not  nearly  so 
large,  in  proportion  to  the  size  of  the  building,  as  the  one 
which  had  witnessed  the  ceremonial  of  the  morning. 
There  were  many  more  women  than  men,  and  they  all  ap- 
peared to  be  persons  of  less  wealth  than  the  worshippers 
in  the  cathedral. 

I  call  them  worshippers  ;  but  the  name  in  Inquirendo 
was  expressers,  or  those  who  express  opinions.  The 
word  express  is  also  used  by  the  islanders  in  the  sense  of 
to  pray. 

The  service  began  by  a  hymn,  started  by  one  of  the 
1 08 


CHURCH    OF   THE    LEAST    COMMON    MULTIPLE.  1 09 

gentlemen  on  the  platform,  who  came  forward,  and,  wav- 
ing his  hand,  a  simple  little  hurdy-gurdy  in  a  loft  over- 
head struck  up  a  tune.  The  gentleman  began  to  sing, 
keeping  time  with  his  hand  and  fore  arm,  which  he  kept 
working  like  the  handle  to  a  pump.  One  by  one  the  con- 
gregation joined  in,  till,  by  the  time  they  had  arrived  at  the 
third  verse,  there  was  a  great  noise. 

When  the  hymn  was  over  the  precentor  sat  down,  and 
another  of  the  trio  stepped  to  the  front.  He  raised  his 
hands,  and  all  in  the  pews  bent  their  heads  while  a  prayer 
was  offered  :  a  prayer  so  simple,  so  touching,  so  pathetic, 
so  beautiful,  that  despite  the  terrible  eccentricity  of  the 
language,  I  felt  moved  by  it  to  the  heart,  and  while  the 
pastor  poured  out  his  petition  to  his  unknown  God,  I  felt 
my  heart  yearn  as  it  never  had  before  towards  the  Heav- 
enly Father  who  knoweth  the  infirmities  of  his  children, 
and  remembereth  we  are  all  but  dust.  My  eyes  uncon- 
sciously filled  with  tears  as  the  minister  prayed  for  those 
in  affliction  or  adversity,  and  I  could  not  forbear,  in  view 
of  my  own  forlorn  condition,  lifting  up  my  own  thoughts, 
not  ashamed  that  they  were  in  company  with  such  strange 
speech. 

The  prayer  closed  with  an  appeal  to  Numbers  for  guid- 
ance and  protection.  "  And  may  the  product  be  with  you 
all.     Goosetracks." 

There  was  another  hymn,  and  then  the  Reverend  Mr. 
Straitlase  came  forward. 

"  My  text  will  be  found  on  the  seventh  page  of  the 
Arithmetic,  sixteenth  line,"  said  the  Reverend  Mr.  Strait- 
lase. "  It  includes  in  reality  the  whole  of  that  line,  but  I 
shall  confine  my  remarks  chielly  to  the  two  words  '  mental 
solution.' 

"  The  word  solution  in  the  original,  as  all  commentators 


lid  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

agree,  signifies  to  dissolve  in  its  primary  and  to  solve  in 
its  secondary  sense ;  so  that  it  is  a  dissolving  and  a  solv- 
ing at  one  and  the  same  time.  The  language  of  this  pas- 
sage is  figurative,  as  is  indeed  the  major  part  of  the 
Arithmetic,  and  if  we  would  read  the  sacred  volume  aright, 
we  must  very  carefully  avoid  the  evils  of  a  too  close  ad- 
herence to  literalism.  This  is  the  rock  upon  which  the 
Established  church  and  the  Decimals  have  stumbled. 

"  How  unworthy  of  Mathematics  does  it  appear  to  us 
who  believe  in  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Numbers  ;  how  un- 
worthy, I  say,  that  a  written  solution  should  be  deemed 
essential  to  fit  a  cipher  to  become  an  integer.  No,  my 
friends;  it  is  not  essential  that  w'e  should  be  cancelled  by 
any  written  solution.     The  mental  will  suffice. 

"  You  naturally  ask  the  grounds  of  these  conclusions.  It 
is  not  alone  that  as  Multipliers  we  profess  a  certain  rule ; 
but  we  ought  to  be  able  to  refute  the  sophistries  of  those 
who  may  seek  to  draw'  us  aside  from  the  straight  path, 

"  Let  me  go  back  in  history  to  the  time  of  that  illus- 
trious reformer,  Calvin  Multiple.  He  came  upon  the 
arena  of  the  island  at  a  time  when  all  were  given  up  to 
the  service  of  Decimals.  He  it  was  who  burst  our  bonds, 
and  by  pointing  out  the  manifest  fact  that  it  was  the  prod- 
uct alone  that  should  be  our  guide,  he  dealt  a  vigorous 
blow  for  truth  that  even  his  enemies  acknowledge. 

"  The  product  alone,  did  I  say  ?  no,  it  is  the  product  en- 
lightened by  the  Arithmetic. 

"  The  teachings  of  the  Arithmetic  are  plain  ;  no  one  need 
err  therein  ;  but  until  the  time  of  Multiple  they  were 
kept  hidden  from  the  people.  The  Arithmetic  was  not 
suffered  to  be  read,  and  in  consequence  men's  minds 
were  kept  in  bondage.  He  caused  the  first  copies  to  be 
inscribed,  and  to-day  it  is  the  proud  boast  of  the  people 


CHURCH    OF    THE    LEAST   COMMON    MUt/lIl'LE.  ill 

of  Inquirendo  that  each  family  is  provided  with  at  least 
one. 

"  Before  his  time  no  other  solution  than  the  written  was 
used  in  the  process  of  cancellation.  To-day  a  large  ma- 
jority use  only  the  mental.  Truth  is  mighty  and  will 
prevail.  It  is  because  it  is  truth  that  the  mental  solution 
has  prevailed. 

"  It  has  been  made  a  subject  of  objection  to  this  doctrine 
that  by  taking  sufficient  time  any  one  could  cancel  him- 
self by  a  written  solution,  but  that  only  a  few  were  capa- 
ble of  performing  the  mental  solution.  I  need  only  say 
in  conclusion,  beloved,  that  the  ways  of  Mathematics  are 
not  as  our  ways,  and  that  if  it  be  foreordained  that  only  a 
few  should  be  cancelled  the  wisest  and  most  befitting 
thing  that  we  can  do  is  to  see  that  we  are  numbered 
among  the  few.     Goosetracks  !  " 

While  I  was  diligently  employed  in  listening  for  the 
grounds  of  the  reverend  gentleman's  opinions,  which  I 
certainly  understood  he  had  promised  to  furnish,  he 
brought  his  discourse  to  a  close,  as  I  thought,  somewhat 
abruptly. 

There  was  more  singing,  but  as  the  music  was  insuffer- 
ably poor,  and  as  I  was  annoyed  at  what  I  regarded  as  a 
logical  failure,  I  was  not  sorry  when  the  service  ended. 

On  the  way  back   to  the   inn  I  expressed  myself  quite 
forcibly  as  to  the  want  of  logic  in  the   discourse.     Oliver, 
who  had  in  fact  dozed  through  the  services,  and  who,  hav- 
ing missed  his  comfortable  nap  at  the  inn,  was  now  yawn 
ing,  brightened  up  perceptibly  at  my  remarks. 

"  Your  perceptions  are  excellent,  Mr.  Cliff,  most  excel- 
lent. Really,  I  hardly  gave  you  credit  for  such  discern- 
ment. Of  course,  what  was  said  was  in  the  highest  de- 
gree illogical." 


112  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  There  didn't  seem  to  be  either  head  or  tail  to  what  he 
said.     It  was  only  a  string  of  dogmatic  assertion." 

"  Very  true,"  responded  Oliver.  "  To  a  churchman  the 
cold  platitudes  of  the  Multipliers  are  entirely  unsatisfying. 
The  doctrines  they  teach  are  quite  erroneous,  but  of  all 
others  that  of  the  mental  solution  is  the  most  absurd  and 
unmathematical." 

"They  all  seemed  to  be  very  devout  and  attentive,"  I 
observed. 

"Oh,  no  doubt  they  are,"  said  Oliver.  "  Do  not  think 
me  uncharitable.  I  do  not  say  that  the  Multipliers  are 
not  a  very  respectable  body  of  citizens." 

"  What  do  they  mean  by  goosetracks  ?  " 

"  Goosetracks  ? — h'm — well, — that  means — in  fact,  it 
is — I  don't  know  that  I  can  explain  exactly." 

"  I  heard  it  also  in  the  cathedral." 

"  Oh,  yes — to  be  sure, — it  is  a  form  of  assent,  so  to 
speak." 

"  Of  assent  ?  " 

"  Yes,  literally  it  signifies — "  Oliver  scratched  his  head 
and  looked  puzzled.  "  The  fact  is,  Mr.  Cliff,  that  is  quite 
an  immaterial  point.  My  mathematical  studies  were,  as 
I  think  I  told  you,  interrupted  a  great  deal,  but  the  idea 
to  be  conveyed  is  about  this  :  that  is  our  opinion.  It  is 
a  term  employed  to  convey  the  idea  of  strong  emphasis." 

That  evening,  although  I  was  very  tired,  having  at- 
tended church  twice  already — a  proceeding  to  which  I  was 
wholly  unaccustomed — Oliver  had  no  difficulty  in  per- 
suading me  to  go  with  him  again. 

This  time  we  went  to  the  church  of  Saint  Complex 
Fraction  of  the  Decimal  denomination,  or,  as  Oliver 
called  it,  the  Arithmetical  church.  It  was  situated  at  a 
distance  from  our  hotel,  and  although  we  found  it  large 


CHURCH    OF    THE    LEAST    COMMON    MULTIPLE.  I  13 

and  elegant,  it  was  in  the  midst  of  the  very  poorest  quar- 
ter of  the  town.  The  length  of  our  walk  gave  Oliver  an 
excellent  opportunity  to  impart  information. 

"The  Decimals,"  he  said,  "  are  the  oldest  of  all  our  de- 
nominations. They  are,  in  fact,  the  original  church  estab- 
lished by  our  forefathers  by  direct  command  of  Numbers. 
Together  with  the  establishment  they  constitute  the  valid 
church  of  Numbers  upon  the  island.  They  hold  with  us 
the  same  essential  truths,  and  are  imbued  with  the  same 
spirit.  In  their  expression  you  will  find  a  strong  similar- 
ity.    The  bond  of  sympathy  is  very  powerful." 

"You  say  there  are  no  differences  in  your  beliefs  ?  " 

"Very  slight  differences.'' 

"Then  why  not  unite  ?  " 

"There  is  a  very  powerful  body — with  which  I  confess 
myself  in  hearty  accord — who  are  looking  expressively  to 
a  closer  union  with  the  mother  church.  In  the  opinion 
of  many  of  our  prelates  the  time  is  not  far  distant  when 
we  shall  go  over  to  the  Decimals.  Many  are  now  uniting 
themselves  singly  ;  but  that  I  do  not  approve  of,  it  weak- 
ens our  own  body.  When  the  time  is  ripe  the  church  as 
an  organization  will  take  action." 

"  How  did  it  happen  that  you  ever  separated  ? " 

"  The  separation  occurred  on  no  point  of  doctrine.  We 
always  have  been,  as  we  are  to-day,  in  full  and  complete 
sympathy.  It  was  in  the  main  a  political  measure, 
brought  about  by  the  perversity  of  one  of  our  crowns,  one 
Henry  Huit,  who  had  a  quarrel  with  the  chief  apostle. 
According  to  the  best  accounts — you  can  read  up  on  that 
when  we  return,  Mr.  Mayland  has  a  fine  library — he  had 
some  trouble  with  his  wife.  I  don't  know  exactly  about 
what ;  but  the  result  was  as  I  have  said.  He  formed  a 
new  body,  which  has  since  been  known  as  the  Established 


114  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

church.  In  essentials  it  differed  in  no  particular  from 
the  old  church,  though  on  account  of  the  prejudices  of 
some  of  the  sects — " 

"  Were  there  already  other  sects  ^  "  I  interrupted. 

"  Oh,  yes ;  the  spirit  of  dissent  was  rampant  at  that 
time  ;  but  very  little  is  really  known  of  that  remote  epoch. 
Speaking  of  the  sects  a  thought  occurs  to  me,  Mr.  Cliff ; 
curious  I  never  thought  of  it  before — " 

"  What  is  that  ?  " 

"  You  say  your  father's  name  was  W.  Cliff  ?  " 

"Yes."  ' 

"  I  wonder,  I  do  really  wonder  if  that  could  be  possi- 
ble ?  " 

"  What  could  be  possible  }  " 

"One  of  the  originators  of  these  sects  had  a  similar 
name  to  yours.  He  was  called  Iccliflf  or  Yccliff.  W.  Ic- 
clifif,  I  think  it  was.  Do  you  think  it  likely  that  you  be- 
long to  that  family  ?  " 

"Very  possible,"  I  answered,  not  wishing  to  commit  my- 
self further  than  this. 

Oliver  slapped  his  hands  together. 

"  I  do  verily  believe  it  may  prove  to  be  so,"  he  said,  en- 
thusiastically. "  At  all  events,  we  shall  probe  the  matter 
to  the  bottom." 

"  You  were  telling  me  about  the  formation  of  the  Estab- 
lished church,"  I  said,  anxious  not  to  pursue  this  subject. 

"Yes,  our  establishment,  as  it  is  at  present  constituted, 
was  brought  about  by  this  Henry  Huit,  and,  as  I  stated, 
there  was  an  unfortunate  pandering  to  the  views  of  some 
of  the  dissenters.  The  result  was  that  in  our  expression 
book,  based  for  the  most  part  upon  the  Arithmetic,  were 
incorporated  many  things  that  the  mature  judgment  of 
the  church  at  the   present  day  does  not  approve.     How- 


CHURCH    OF    THE    LEAST    COMMON    MULTIPLE. 


115 


ever,  I  am  happy  to  say  that  the  Fast  church  is  largely  m 
the  ascendant." 

"  The  Fast  church  ?  " 

"  That  is  the  term  designating  those  who  favor  a  closer 
union,  in  fact  an  absolute  one,  with  the  Decimals." 

"  What  are  the  others  called  .'  " 

Oliver  laughed.  "  Oh,  we  call  them  slow  ;  but  there  is 
only  an  insignificant  minority  left,  which,  after  all,  is  of  no 
vital  importance." 

"  Between  these  two  divisions,  the  fast  and  slow,  what 
are  the  real  points  of  difference  ?  I  ask  because  these 
questions  interest  me  greatly." 

"  I  assure  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  nothing  affords  me  more  pleas- 
ure than  to  give  you  all  the  information  in  my  power.  It 
is  my  duty  in  the  first  place,  and  beside  that,  your  anxiety 
shows  that  your  complete  recovery  is  not  remote.  As  to 
the  slow  church  party  I  can  only  say  this,  that  their  opposi- 
tion is  frivolous  and  unbecoming.  They  make  ridiculous 
objections  to  certain  of  our  most  cherished  tenets,  and 
have  even  gone  to  the  extreme  length  of  getting  up  a  new 
expression  book,  from  which  they  pretend  to  have  ex- 
tracted what  they  wickedly  call  the  Romanizing  germs  ; 
of  course  we  churchmen  know  that  this  is  preposterous, 
that  the  book  is  saturated  through  and  through  with 
Roman  methods." 

"  Why  do  you  call  them  Romans  }  " 

"  Because  the  church — and  by  that  term  I  mean  all,  both 
Decimals  and  Fast — uses  the  Roman  method  of  notation 
exclusively." 

"  Do  both  branches,  fast  and  slow,  have  the  same  cer- 
emonies ?  " 

"  By  no  means,  and  there  is  another  point  of  the  similar 


Il6  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

ity.  The  Slows  approximate  in  their  mode  of  worship  to 
the  Multipliers,  and  even  use  the  mental  solution." 

"  Please  explain  the  Roman  method." 

"  I  would,  Mr.  Cliff,  cheerfully,"  replied  Oliver,  "  but 
you  can  see  for  yourself.     Here  we  are  at  the  church." 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

I  REFUSE  TO  PARTAKE  OF  PARSNIPS 

LOOKING  up,  I  saw  a  stately  portal,  of  an  order  of 
architecture  somewhat  similar  to  that  of  the  great 
cathedral.  Over  it  hung  a  vast  pointed  arch,  decorated 
and  adorned  by  a  profusion  of  the  most  fantastic  vagaries 
of  hammered  iron.  On  either  side  were  great  stone  but- 
tresses, and  towering  overhead  were  two  immense  spires 
reaching  up  towards  the  clouds.  There  were  turrets  and 
pinnacles  also,  and  in  ever)^  available  spot  images,  graven 
in  stone  or  cast  in  iron ;  some  were  beautiful,  some  gro- 
tesque, and  some  commonplace  enough. 

I  had  but  a  moment  to  view  all  these  things,  for  Oliver 
passed  directly  on  into  the  great  doorway.  With  us  went 
in  a  large  concourse,  almost  all  of  the  poorest  class,  but 
all  with  bent  head  and  devout  demeanor. 

Oliver's  manner  was  subdued  and  sober.  Within  the 
porch,  on  one  side,  was  a  niche,  containing  a  sculptured 
group,  and  held  on  the  shoulders  of  two  iron  cherubs  was 
a  silver  flagon.  To  this  Oliver  went  directly  as  I  saw 
also  others  go.  He  dipped  his  finger  in  the  flagon,  and 
with  the  contents  smeared  his  forehead  lightly  with  a  long 
stroke  and  beneath  and  above  one  dot,  thus  :   -^ 

Nothing  that  I  now  saw  was  in  any  degree  surprising; 
but  this,  until  I  thought  the  matter  over,  was  a  little  mys- 
terious. I  convinced  myself,  however,  very  speedily  that 
this  was  the  sign  of  division  with  which  my  friend  had  be- 

117 


I  1 8  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

daubed  his  forehead.  Strains  of  music  swelled  forth  as 
the  inner  doors,  swinging  noiselessly,  admitted  us  into  the 
church.  It  was  in  many  respects  the  counterpart  of  the 
cathedral,  but  there  were  points  of  dissimilarity  that  were 
marked.  For  instance,  back  of  the  audience  were  large 
recesses,  all  of  a  highly  ornamental  character,  emblazoned 
with  gilt  and  gorgeous  coloring.  Here  too  were  multi- 
tudes of  images,  clothed  in  a  profusion  of  robes  in  various 
colors,  but  chiefly  purple  and  scarlet.  Over  the  entrance 
to  each  alcove,  and  again,  over  the  heads  of  the  images, 
were  reproductions  in  iron  of  the  great  raft  which  was 
swung  in  the  cathedral.  These  were  sometimes  plain  but 
more  often  richly  gilded,  and  in  some  instances  embossed 
with  singular  profusion.  We  sat  down,  and  then  while 
the  music  filled  the  vast  space,  I  looked  towards  the  cen- 
tral platform.  The  arrangement  here  differed  from  that 
in  the  cathedral,  inasmuch  as  in  the  centre  was  no  ros- 
trum, but  elevated  ten  or  twelve  feet  upon  four  gilded 
columns  was  an  exact  copy  of  the  wooden  raft.  At  first 
so  remarkable  was  the  likeness,  I  was  not  sure  that  this 
too  was  not  of  wood;  but  I  was  afterwards  assured  by 
Oliver  that  it  was  of  iron. 

One  of  the  strangest  of  the  peculiarities  to  which  I  was 
now  attracted  was  the  multiplicity  of  lights,  not,  as  in  the 
cathedral,  swung  from  the  roof  or  on  brackets,  but  stand- 
ing on  gilded  candlesticks  in  front  of  and  around  the 
various  images.  At  the  base  of  those  gilded  columns  in 
the  centre  were  also  statues,  larger  and  more  ornate 
than  those  in  the  alcoves,  and  also  more  richly  clad,  and 
before  these  the  lights  were  almost  innumerable.  About 
half  a  dozen  young  men  and  boys,  apparelled  in  scarlet 
raiment,  fluttered  about,  in  a  meaningless  manner,  back 


I    REFUSE    TO    PARTAKE    OF    PARSNIPS.  I  19 

and  forth,  round  and  round,  going  through  a  remarkable 
series  of  evolutions,  wholly  incomprehensible  to  me. 

The  music,  which  had  been  low  and  soft  and  plaintive, 
now  swelled  out  into  a  tide  of  harmony,  and  a  rich 
pageant  appeared  as  by  magic;  children,  dressed  as  the 
others,  came  singing  up  from  beneath  the  circular  plat- 
form. These  were  followed  by  a  numerous  retinue,  some 
with  arms  folded  upon  their  breasts,  others  holding  aloft 
gilded  poles,  on  top  of  which  were  various  carvings,  imi- 
tation rafts  and  images,  and  others  still  bearing  flagons 
on  their  heads,  that  smoked,  sending  up  long  slender  spi- 
rals of  incense,  whose  entrancing  perfume  was  wafted 
towards  us — which  was,  in  fact,  sorely  needed,  for  the  nat- 
ural odor  was  intolerable. 

They  all  now  began  singing  or  chanting  a  loud  refrain, 
the  words  of  which  it  was  impossible  to  understand. 

The  chanting  stopped,  and  one  of  the  red-robed  priests, 
holding  a  book  in  his  right  hand,  circled  round  the  dais, 
calling  out  at  intervals  : — 

"  Great  Raft !  " 

When  he  did  so  almost  all  the  people  shouted  back 
something,  reading  out  of  the  books  which  they  too  had. 
Oliver  had  one  of  these  books,  and  by  looking  over  his 
shoulder  I  was  enabled  to  follow  the  responses. 

"Great  Raft !  "  said  the  priest. 

"Most  excellent  and  extraordinary!"  responded  the 
multitude  with  one  accord. 

"  Remarkable  pontoon  !  "  cried  the  priest. 

"  Floating  bridge  !  "  answered  the  people. 

"  That  helped  us  in  our  trouble  !  " 

"That  will  help  us  now." 

"  That  helped  our  fathers  !  " 

"  And  will  rescue  us  from  eternal  ocean  !  " 


120  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Great  Raft !  " 

"  Wonderful  !  " 

"  Mysterious  thing  !  " 

"  That  we  cannot  comprehend  !  " 

So  back  and  forward  between  the  priest  and  the  peo- 
ple these  and  similar  epithets  were  bandied.  While  the 
priest  talked  he  circled  round,  and  when  his  lungs  became 
fatigued  another  started  up  and  circled  in  his  turn  in  a 
weary  round. 

It  would  be  almost  impossible,  and  certainly  as  fatiguing 
to  the  reader  as  to  myself,  to  recount  the  marvellous  per- 
formances that  I  was  a  witness  to.  The  reading  over, 
there  ensued  a  most  extraordinary  spectacle,  wherein  min- 
gled priests,  and  boys,  and  candles,  and  rafts,  and  censers, 
slowly  revolving,  like  the  images  in  a  kaleidoscope,  round 
and  round,  while  chants  mingled  with  the  voices  repeat- 
ing words  at  intervals. 

I  noticed  that  no  one  of  all  the  throng  was  more  atten- 
tive than  Oliver,  and  that  he  made  all  the  responses  quite 
as  familiarly  as  any  one  else.  On  our  way  home  I  asked 
him  how  it  was  that  he,  professing  to  belong  to  the  Divis- 
ors, was  so  fervent  in  his  observance  of  another  and  dis- 
similar ritual. 

"The  ritual  is  a  little  different,  Mr.  Cliff,"  replied 
Oliver,  "  but  there  the  difference  practically  ends." 

On  arriving  at  the  inn  Oliver  showed  me  what  he 
called  the  "  Rule  "  of  the  two  churches,  or,  as  I  should 
have  called  it,  the  creed.  It  was  the  same  in  the  ex- 
pression books  of  both  the  Divisors  and  the  Decimals, 
As  I  afterwards  memorized  it  I  am  able  to  give  it  in 
full  :— 

"  I  am  of  the  opinion  (or,  '  I  guess,'  the  priests  being 
privileged  to  allow  the  use  of  either  form  of  expression) 


I  REFUSE  TO  PARTAKE  OF  PARSNIPS.        12  1 

that  Mathematics  made  the  island.  I  believe  (or  I  guess 
that  I  believe)  that  all  there  is  to  Mathematics  is  con- 
tained in  Division,  and  consists  of  the  Dividend,  Divisor, 
and  Quotient.  I  believe  (or  I  guess)  that  ocean  has  be- 
yond it  Oversea,  and  that  Undersea  is  beneath  it.  1  be- 
lieve that  Numbers  will  save  me  from  Undersea,  and  that 
by  the  raft  I  shall  be  conducted  to  Oversea.  I  believe 
in  the  nine  digits,  and  in  the  Four  Ground  Rules." 

Oliver  said  much  more  to  me  that  night  than  I  have 
been  able  to  remember.  In  fact  I  was  so  sleepy  that  I 
was  hardly  able  to  pay  attention.  When  at  last  I  retired 
sleep  came  almost  instantly,  but  my  dreams  were  full  of 
strange  sights,  and  weird  and  painful  fancies,  wherein, 
jumbled  together  like  phantoms,  were  Numerators  and 
Numbers,  quotients  and  dividends,  multiples  and  deci- 
mals, jogging  each  other  and  gibbering  noisily  all  the  long 
night. 

"How  do  you  feel  this  morning,  Mr.  Cliff?"  Oliver 
asked,  politely,  at  the  breakfast-table. 

"  To  be  honest,"  I  answered,  "  I  feel  like  a  mixed  num- 
ber." 

I  intended  this  only  as  a  silly  joke,  not  being — as  the 
kind  reader  has  perhaps  taken  the  pains  to  find  out  for 
himself  —  very  wise.  This  phrase  happened,  singularly 
enough,  to  indicate  that  peculiar  state  of  mind  which  with 
us  is  sometimes  alluded  to  as  "  the  anxious  seat."  Of 
course,  being  unaware  of  this,  I  was  not  a  little  astonished 
when  Oliver  promptly  grasped  my  hand  and  fervently 
congratulated  me. 

I  thought  it  best  to  dissemble,  and  to  let  Oliver  do  the 
talking,  a  privilege  of  which  he  availed  himself  to  the 
utmost.  His  theology,  or  what  he  called  his  mathematics, 
was  not  especially  entertaining,  for  I  had  experienced  a 


122  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

surfeit  of  that  the  previous  day ;  but  when  he  began  to 
allude  to  a  continuance  of  our  journey  I  listened  with  at- 
tention. 

"  I  find,"  said  Oliver,  "  that  there  are  several  families  of 
the  name  of  Ycliff  at  the  east  end,  and  therefore  I  sug- 
gest that  we  make  our  way  thither  by  easy  stages." 

Of  course  I  acquiesced  •,  not  that  my  hopes  were  very 
strong  that  in  any  of  these  people  I  should  discover  rela- 
tives of  my  own,  but  impressed  with  the  idea  that  the 
faster  we  got  on  the  sooner  our  journey  would  be  over, 
and  the  sooner  I  should  be  permitted  to  return  to  my 
beloved  Margery. 

I  do  not  think  that  in  the  proper  place  any  statement 
was  made  in  respect  to  my  purchase  of  a  complete  outfit 
of  Inquirendian  costume.  It  is  well  that  the  reader 
should  know  that  by  the  kindness  of  Dr.  Setbon  all  this 
had  been  attended  to,  and  that  by  him  also  my  gold  had 
been  invested.  We  therefore  attracted  no  especial  atten- 
tion as  we  drove  on  across  the  country.  We  traversed  the 
sixth  and  the  greater  part  of  the  seventh  department  with- 
out any  special  incident  happening. 

Oliver  was  very  hopeful  that  in  the  Ycliffs  I  should  find 
my  kindred,  and  on  Thursday  morning,  as  we  drove  down 
a  long  slope,  lined  on  both  sides  of  the  highway  with  ex- 
tensive plantations,  he  kept  asking  if  there  was  anything 
familiar  in  what  I  saw  ;  and  when  I  felt  myself  compelled 
to  answer  that  so  far  there  was  nothing,  Oliver  was  evi- 
dently disappointed. 

"  I  was  in  hopes,"  he  said,  "  that  when  we  crossed  the 
hills  you  would  recall  something  of  the  scene.  I  feel  con- 
vinced that  your  home  is  really  at  the  east,  and  that  when 
you  are  seen  by  your  friends  they  will  recognize  you." 

We  drove  into  the  chief  town  of  the  department  about 


I    RKFUSE     Id    I'AKIAKK    OF    I'AK.SNH'S.  123 

noon,  but  there  had  been  no  such  recognition.  The 
inhabitants  appeared  to  regard  us  with  complete  indif- 
ference, unless,  as  was  sometimes  the  case,  we  wished  to 
purchase  something,  when  all  we  met  became  on  the  in- 
stant wondrousl}^  civil.  I  cannot  say  that  their  charges 
were  extravagant,  but  I  feel  convinced  that  we  usually 
paid  too  much. 

I  was  very  much  gratified  by  observing  that  the  prevail- 
ing sad  colors  of  the  ordinary  Inquirendian  citizen's  cos- 
tume was  varied  at  the  cast  end  now  and  then,  and  at  the 
tavern  where  we  put  up  for  dinner  one  of  the  hostlers  had 
on  a  checked  suit,  not  altogether  dissimilar  from  the  one 
that  I  had  on  that  unfortunate  mornhig  when  I  was  cast 
ashore  upon  the  island. 

"  I  am  led  to  think  that  you  are  from  the  east,"  Oliver 
remarked,  as  we  sat  down  to  the  table,  "from  the  fact  of 
the  strong  probability  that  your  name  is  really  Ycliff,  and 
from  the  further  fact  that  the  inhabitants  of  the  ninth 
department  dress  in  a  peculiar  style." 

I  told  Oliver  that  I  had  noticed  the  hostler. 

"Yes,"  he  answered,  "my  own  attention  was  drawn  to 
him.  The  eastern  people  are  not  usually  fond  of  going 
far  from  home.  I  took  an  opportunity  to  question  this 
man.  He  says  he  is  acquainted  with  two  families  named 
Ycliff,  and  one  is  engaged  in  sheep  raising.  1  think  you 
testified  that  this  was  your  father's  business?  " 

I  managed  to  make  some  confused  reply. 

"  At  all  events,"  continued  Oliver,  "  we  can  do  no  better 
than  to  push  on  towards  the  east.  I  feel  the  greatest 
confidence  that  if  you  once  find  yourself  among  familiar 
scenes  that  old  memories  will  reawaken."  Then  dinner 
was  brought  in  and  Oliver  addressed  himself  to  carving 
the  steak. 


124  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

There  was  a  dish  of  parsnips  upon  the  table,  which  I 
passed  to  him. 

"No;  no  parsnips  to-day,  Mr.  Clirf,"  said  he. 

"  I  thought  you  were  fond  of  parsnips,"  I  said,  surprised. 

"  So  I  am,  exceedingly  fond  of  them,  but  this  is  Thurs- 
day, and  the  church  rules  are  stringent  in  respect  to  par- 
snips on  Thursday." 

"Oh!  I  was  not  aware  of  that,"  I  said. 

"  Were  you  not  ?     Did  I  not  explain  that  to  you  ?  " 

And  Oliver  continued,  as  he  helped  himself  to  the 
steak,  and  a  plentiful  supply  of  every  other  vegetable,  to 
explain  the  motive  of  the  church  in  proscribing  parsnips. 

"  It  is  a  mortification  of  the  flesh,"  he  said,  "  and  is  in  the 
highest  degree  conducive  to  the  mathematical  life.  While 
we  are  refraining,  w'e  are  afiforded  an  excellent  opportu- 
nity for  meditation  and  expression.  The  mind  is  rendered 
clear,  and  we  are  purged  thereby  from  all  gross  and  car- 
nal desires." 

"  Is  this  a  common  custom,"  I  asked,  "  among  all  the  de- 
nominations ? " 

"  By  no  means ;  it  is  the  exclusive  privilege  of  the  Dec- 
imals, by  which  term  I,  of  course,  as  you  now  under- 
stand, include  the  Fast  of  the  Established  cluirch." 

"And  the  Slows  do  not  consider  this  essential .' " 

"  The  majority,  I  grieve  to  say,  ignore  this  solemn  obli- 
gation altogether." 

Out  of  deference  to  my  friend's  principles  I  did  not  my- 
self partake  of  parsnips.  As  a  mixed  number,  I  thought 
it  prudent  to  abstain,  and  besides,  I  never  was  very  fond  of 
that  vegetable. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

gallwood's  promised  wife. 

A  FTER  dinner,  while  we  waited  for  the  steers  to  finish 
"^~*-  their  corn,  we  sat  in  the  parlor  of  the  inn.  Upon  the 
centre  table  were  a  number  of  papers  and  some  pamphlet 
literature  of  an  ephemeral  character.  To  while  away  the 
time,  I  loolcfid  over  some  of  these.  The  Eighth  Depart- 
ment Chrotiiclc  was  a  stupid  affair,  filled  with  a  mass  of 
local  nonsense  and  with  absurd  advertisements.  The 
Capital  Register  was  a  little  better,  but  I  turned  away 
from  these  and  picked  up  a  slender  magazine,  the  title  of 
which  had  some  attraction  for  me.  It  was  called  the 
Knowledgablc.  I  turned  over  the  pages  listlessly,  and 
my  eyes  lighted  upon  the  following  lines  : 

THE  POET  PRIEST. 
I. 

There  are  times  when  the  heart 

Of  a  poet  is  full, 
And  his  thoughts  would  fain  strike 

Though  the  weapon  be  dull ; 
And  innate  ideas 

Flash,  like  glittering  swords. 
Forth  fierce  from  their  scabbards 

Of  thought  into  words. 

II. 
Oh  !  speed  the  glad  time 

When  the  soul  shall  be  free 
From  the  bondage  of  sect, 

And  shall  hearken  to  me ; 

125 


126  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"When  thought  shall  be  prophet 
And  poet  be  priest, 

And  the  shackle  opinion 
From  truth  be  released. 


There  are  pitiful  things 

In  this  island  to-day  ; 
Our  mission  it  is 

To  drive  doubt  all  away. 
Things  are  what  they  seem, 

And  black,  never  is  white; 
For  creeds  are  but  rhymes 

For  the  rhythm  of  right. 

"  Who  are  these  Knowledgables  ? "    I  asked. 

Oliver  was  reading  a  red-covered  pamphlet.  He  put  it 
down  as  he  replied  : 

"They  are  nothing  but  infidels,  Mr.  Cliff;  if  you  will  be 
advised  by  me,  you  will  not  even  peruse  their  literature. 
It  is  pernicious  in  the  extreme.  They  profess  that  they 
are  guided  by  reason,  and  that  morality  is  the  sole  end  of 
man.  That  publication  is  edited  by  one  Festus  Idler, 
who  is  at  the  head  of  an  institution  called  the  Association 
for  Mental  Advancement.  He  is  all  the  more  dangerous, 
inasmuch  as  he  professes  to  be  doing  a  good  work  among 
the  poor  of  the  capital.  I  am  told  that  he  has  a  free 
school  which  is  somewhat  largely  attended,  where,  in  ad- 
dition to  secular  knowledge,  he  imparts  so-called  instruc- 
tion to  the  young  in  his  peculiar  views." 

"  A  school  of  morality  ? "' 

"That  is  what  he  proclaims  it  to  be.  Yet  it  is  not,  I  ap- 
prehend, needful  to  call  your  attention  to  the  self-evident 
fact  that  no  mere  morality  can  be  of  any  avail  that  is  not 
rooted  and  grounded  in  the  Arithmetic.     The  only  truth 


GALLWOOI)  S    1>R()I\IISED    WIFE.  I  27 

that  this  island  knows,  is  that  which  has  there  been  re 
vealed — the  truth  as  it  is  in  Numbers." 

So  saying  Oliver  resumed  his  reading. 

I  put  down  the  Kno7vlcdgabh\  and  picked  up  a  more 
bulky  magazine. 

"  That  is  the  Diatribe,^''  said  Oliver,  looking  up.  "  In 
that  you  will  find  nothing  especially  offensive,  although  the 
tone  of  some  of  its  articles  of  late  has  not  been  quite  in 
accord  with  the  teachings  of  the  church.  It  is.  however, 
purely  literary  in  its  character,  and  you  will  tind  nothing 
between  its  co\ers  particularly  offensive.  I  must  warn 
you,  Mr.  Cliff,  that  as  a  mixed  number,  it  behooves  you 
to  be  especially  on  your  guard." 

I  turned  over  the  pages  of  the  Diatribe.  Its  contents 
consisted  of  the  usual  miscellany  ;  but  there  was  one  little 
poem  that  I  read  with  interest.     It  was  entitled 

PERHAPS. 

More  of  the  island  do  they  see 

Whose  feet  the  highest  summits  press, 

And  more  of  death — that  dreadful  sea 
For  whose  deep  wrong  seems  no  redress. 

Vain,  o'er  the  dark  horizon,  vain 

For  the  white  angel's  wings  I  scan ; 
They  come,  they  go,  they  come  again ; 

But  in  them  is  there  hope  for  man .' 

But  they  who  from  deep  caverns  gaze, 

Or  who  on  highest  summits  are, 
Behold  the  glory  he  displays 

Who  gave  the  eye  to  see  the  star. 

Perhaps  our  Undersea  begins 

Here ;  through  eternity  to  run, 
For  those  who  suffer  for  the  sins 

In  some  far  purer  island  done. 


[28  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

I  view  the  ocean — stormy,  still — 

It  seems  so  sure  ;  it  seems  so  vast, 
I  only  trust  th'  Almighty  will 

Some  happy  home  shall  give  at  last. 

Where  I  shall  find  my  Oversea 

When  the  tense  cord  of  living  snaps 
I  do  not  know ;  but  life  must  be ; 

For  justice  there  is  no  perhaps. 

No  truth,  whatever  be  its  name. 

To  Mathematics  is  offence  ; 
For  love  demands  no  mightier  claim, 

No  holier  creed  than  innocence. 

We  hear  opinion's  vain  perhaps, 

And  think  it  faith  to  call  unwise 
Who  hear  the  heart's  low  thunder  claps 

Of  some  grand  cadence — truth's  device. 

Oh,  truth,  thy  growth  is  slow  of  speed. 

First  must  thy  roots  strike  deeply  down, 
Thou  hast  the  life  within  the  seed. 

The  tree,  alas  !  has  not  yet  grown. 

Prophet  is  he  whose  earnest  brain 

An  upturned  cup  yet  holdeth  still, 
Waiting  in  trust  the  holy  rain, 

That  blackest  clouds  shall  soonest  fill; 

Or  one  whose  thoughts,  like  falling  rain. 

Pour  forth  from  overflowing  cup  ; 
Who  could  not,  if  he  would,  restrain 

What  the  glad  sunlight  gathered  up. 

And  if  upon  his  bosom  writ 

Some  bow  of  hope  mankind  may  mark, 

Or  on  the  tears  wrung  out  of  it, 
What  matter  if  himself  be  dark. 

M'hen  I  looked  up  from  the  perusal  of  these  lines, 
which  in  portions  had  certainly  impressed  me  as  being 
very  admirable.  I  found  Oliver's  eyes  fixed  upon  mine. 


GALLWOOD  S    PROMISED    WIFE.  I  29 

"  I  see  you  have  been  reading  Mr.  Janus'  poem,'"  said 
he,  with  a  smile. 

"  It  is  called  '  Perhaps,'  "  I  answered.  "  I  had  not  no- 
ticed the  author's  name." 

"  It  is  by  Janus.  That  poem  has  excited  considerable 
attention." 

"  On  what  account  ?  " 

"  Chiefly,  I  jiresume,  for  the  originality  of  the  thought. 
It  is,  of  course,  unarithmetical  ;  but  b-jing  novel,  there 
have  been  found  many  who  consider  it  a  fair  piece  of 
writing." 

"  It  did  not  occur  to  me  as  being  so  very  original,"  I  an- 
swered. ''The  lines  are  very  pretty,  no  doubt,  but  I 
should  not  say  that  the  ideas  were  new," 

"  They  have  been  considered  so." 

"  In  what  respect  are  they  so  original  ?  " 

"  It  is  universally  admitted  that  Oversea  is  situated  be- 
yond the  ocean,  and  that  Undersea  is  beneath  it ;  but  in 
his  poem  Mr.  Janus  seems  to  imply  that  it  may  be  situ- 
ated above  us.  Of  course,  as  a  good  churchman  I  can- 
not but  regard  this  as  rank  heresy.  We  know  very  well 
that  there  is  nothing  above  us  ;  that  is  apparent  to  the 
senses— nothing  but  the  lights  of  the  sky.  Of  course, 
some  concession  is  due  to  poetic  license  ;  but  there  ought 
to  be  a  limit  somewhere.  I  am  exceedingly  chary  in  pe- 
rusing these  secular  publications.  There  is  one  verse 
which  is  peculiarly  objectionable." 

"  Which  is  that  ?  " 

"  Wherein  he  speaks  of  no  truth  being  an  offence  to 
Mathematics." 

"  Well,  is  not  Mathematics  all  truth  1 " 

"Of  course  it  is;  but  not  in  the  sense  in  which  Mr. 
Janus  writes.  What  could  be  more  contrary  to  the  spirit 
9 


130  INQUIREXDO    ISLAND. 

of  the  Arithmetic  than  the  statement  that  no  better  creed 
was  needed  than  innocence  ?  " 

"  That  struck  me  as  the  most  beautiful  of  all  the 
verses — " 

"  Beautiful !  oh,  I  am  willing  ta  grant  that  it  is  all  beau- 
tiful. No  doubt  the  merit  of  the  verses  is  considerable, 
though  I  should  say  not  sufficient  to  evoke  the  comment 
they  have.  But  that  is  not  the  point  ;  it  is  this  :  all  truth 
is  of  Mathematics,  that  is  granted  ;  but  how  contrary  to 
the  Arithmetic  that  a  cipher,  innocent  or  guilty,  should 
have  any  value.  No,  a  cipher  must  first  be  washed  in  the 
written  solution  ;  must  first  become  an  integer  to  be  saved 
from  ocean.     No  cipher  can  float." 

"  Yet  it  seems  to  me  that  the  thought  expressed  in  that 
verse  is  one  that  is  deserving  of  attention." 

"  Mere  words,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  Oliver,  wiih  much  earnest- 
ness, "  mere  words.  We  are  expressly  told  that  we  must 
rely  upon  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Numbers.  No  doctrine  is 
more  pregnant  with  fallacy  than  that  the  unenlightened 
cipher  can  hope  to  be  saved." 

"  But  how  is  he  to  be  enlightened  ?  I  ask  for  informa- 
tion, having  a  very  strong  desire  to  learn  these  things  that 
are  to  me  yet  so  obscure — " 

"Your  yearning  is  commendable,  Mr.  Cliff." 

"And  I  begin  to  feel,"  I  continued,  thinking  with  good 
reason  that  this  would  be  an  incentive  to  Oliver,  "some 
glimmering  that  I  have  somewhere  heard  something  sim- 
ilar before." 

Oliver,  as  I  had  expected,  brightened  up  at  this. 

"  I  am  truly  glad  to  hear  you  speak  thus.  It  gives  me 
much  hope.  You  ask  how  a  cipher  is  to  be  enlightened. 
I  reply,  by  the  change  into  an  integer.  A  cipher  must 
first  be    enlightened  by  the   Arithmetic.     It   is  only  by 


gallwood's  promised  wifk.  131 

Numbers  that  a  cipher  can  be  saved  from  ocean.  Trust 
in  the  raft,  Mr.  Cliff.  Have  faith  in  its  mysterious  and 
awful  power.  You  are  now  mixed,  no  doubt,  and  that 
is  encouraging.  Mixture  is  a  sure  sign  of  ultimate  so- 
lution. That  is  proverbial.  In  all  your  enquiries,  I  be- 
seech you  to  abjure  that  reasonable  spirit  which  thinks 
itself  sufficient  of  itself.  The  church,  through  her  ac- 
credited and  responsible  priests,  is  the  only  interpreter  of 
the  Arithmetic.  Discard,  as  beneath  your  consideration 
and  unworthy  of  it,  all  that  tends  to  distract  your  mind 
from  a  consideration  of  what  is  vital  and  essential." 

"  But  has  a  cipher  no  value  whatever  in  the  Arithme- 
tic ?  " 

"  I  am  astonished  that  you  should  ask  that  question, 
Mr.  Clifif,"  replied  Oliver,  gravely,  "  after  what  you  have 
heard  and  witnessed.  No  indeed,  no  value  can  by  any 
possibility  be  attached  to  a  cipher  who  has  not  been 
changed  in  his  whole  nature." 

"I  admit  that  a  cipher  of  itself  has  no  value.  I  see 
that  now  distinctly,  but — " 

"  Much  has  been  done,  Mr.  Cliff,  much,"  Oliver  inter- 
rupted, heartily.  "  When  that  is  once  admitted  all  the 
rest  is  easy.  How  simple  the  rest  !  only  trust,  only  be- 
lieve." 

"And  yet,"  said  I,  "on  reasonable  grounds,  that  seem 
to  me  to  be  purely  Arithmetical,  which  includes  being 
reasonable — " 

"  Of  course,"  said  Oliver,  sententiously. 

"On  those  grounds,"  I  continued,  "  the  value  of  a  cipher 
would  depend  upon  its  distance  from  the  decimal  point, 
would  it  not  ?  " 

Oliver,  who   had  been   sitting  leisurely  with   his   red- 


132  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

covered  book  open  upon  his  knees,  turned  towards  me 
with  a  start. 

"  Then  you  do  indeed  see  that  ?  "  he  exclaimed,  earn- 
estly. 

"  Why,  of  course,  that  is  self-evident." 

Oliver  got  up,  and  coming  over  to  me  grasped  my  hand 
warmly. 

"  You  have  arrived  at  the  truth,"  he  said.  "Wonderful," 
he  continued,  half  to  himself,  "  wonderful.  The  ways  of 
Mathematics  are  passing  strange.  Then  you  do  thor- 
oughly realize  that." 

"I  do." 

"  And  in  the  realization  has  not  a  chord  been  awakened 
of  some  forgotten  memory  ?  " 

"  I  confess,"  I  responded,  truthfully  enough,  "  that  all 
this  appears  to  have  been  instilled  into  me  in  earlier 
years." 

"  Then  be  assured,"  said  Oliver,  "  that  the  time  of  your 
probation  will  now  be  short.  If  you  see  clearly  that  you, 
as  a  cipher,  depend  upon  your  distance  from  the  decimal 
point,  the  time  is  not  far  distant  when  you  will  have  passed 
your  mixed  condition,  and  will  resolve  to  connect  your- 
self with  the  church,  knowing  that  therein  lies  your  only 
hope  of  escape  from  the  sea." 

"Well,"  I  said,  "  I  shall  think  over  all  that  you  have  so 
kindly  told  me,  and  when  I  feel  impelled  to  actually  join 
the  church  I  shall  mention  it." 

"  Do  so,  do  so,"  said  Oliver:  "but  now  we  had  better 
be  on  our  way.  The  steers  are  ready.  Now  that  your 
memory  appears  to  have  been  in  some  degree  re-awakened 
I  am  more  than  ever  anxious  that  you  should  visit  those 
families  in  the  east." 

It  does  not  appear  to  me  that  any  detailed  description 


gallwood's  promised  wife.  .     133 

of  our  further  journeyings,  either  in  the  ninth  or  eastern 
department,  or  through  the  interior  of  the  island,  would 
be  either  profitable  or  entertaining.  I  believe  that  we 
traversed  almost  every  nook  and  corner  of  the  east  end  in 
search  of  my  relatives,  and  interviewed  any  number  of 
Ycliffs,  who  one  and  all  promptly  disowned  me.  All  this 
was  very  irksome,  and  finally  became  so  unbearable  that  I 
implored  Oliver  to  let  the  matter  rest. 

"  What  great  harm  is  done,"  I  remonstrated,  "  even  if  I 
do  fail  to  provide  myself  with  a  local  habitation  .?  Let  us 
be  on  our  way  westward  again." 

Oliver  sighed  deeply  and  seemed  much  depressed. 

"I  had  great  hopes,"  he  answered,  "that  here  at  the 
east  something  would  have  occurred  to  evoke  the  latent 
memory  of  your  home ;  but  it  appears  that  this  was  not  to 
be." 

Again  he  sighed. 

"  Is  it  so  important  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Yes,  it  is  in  the  highest  degree  important.  It  was  my 
uncle  Dr.  Setbon's  most  ardent  wish  that  this  should  hap- 
pen, for  thereby  no  doubt  you  would  have  cleared  your- 
self from  the  course  of  discipline,  and  probably  on  our 
return  have  been  restored  to  perfect  freedom." 

"  And  is  that  absolutely  essential  ?  "  I  asked,  feeling 
myself  turning  pale. 

"No,  I  do  not  say  absolutely,"  replied  Oliver.  "The 
strong  presumptive  evidence  that  your  present  mixed  con- 
dition gives  of  mental  soundness,  may,  and  I  trust  in 
Mathematics  doubtless  will,  have  a  very  great  influence. 
Should  you  elect  to  become  an  integer  and  come  out 
before  the  island  as  a  Mathematician  it  would  have  still 
greater  weight ;  but—"  Oliver  hesitated,  "  I  need  not  tell 


134      *  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

you  that  for  one  cause  or  another  you  have  made  ene- 
mies— " 

"  Yes,"  I  broke  in  impetuously,  "  that  damned  infernal 
Gallwood,  and  that  snivelling  hypocrite  Nudwink.  They 
are  both  precious  scamps." 

"  Well,  Mr.  Clilif,  perhaps  you  are  not  far  astray  in  your 
estimate  of  Mr.  Nudwink.  He  professes  to  be  a  good 
churchman,  and  yet  uses  only  the  mental  solution.  On 
that  ground  alone  I  should  be  inclined  to  coincide  with 
you.  In  your  reference  to  Gallwood  you  used  two  epithets 
that  are  very  peculiar.  May  I  ask  what  the  words  damned 
and  infernal  mean  .'  " 

I  now  felt  myself  blushing,  as  before  I  had  felt  myself 
paling.  I  had  spoken  hotly  and  in  wrath.  Still  the 
words  had  been  uttered  and  they  must  be  explained. 

"  I  had  a  bad  habit  once  of  swearing,"  I  said,  "and  to 
break  myself  of  it  I  invented  some  meaningless  phrases. 
I  find  it  answers  the  same  purpose  as  a  vent  for  emotion, 
and  hurts  no  one.  " 

This  explanation  satisfied  Oliver  completely,  so  muck 
so  that  he  complimented  me  on  the  ingenuity  I  displayed 
when  I  made  the  matter  clear  that  damned  was  a  harm- 
less word  for  drowned,  and  that  infernal  was  a  gentle 
term  for  Undersea.  I  was  able  to  interpret  myself  in 
this  manner  by  hanging  around  the  stables  on  several 
occasions  when  the  steers  were  being  harnessed,  and 
thereby  overhearing  the  hostlers. 

The  first  time  this  occurred  I  remember  how  astonished 
I  was.  It  was  at  the  chief  town  of  the  eighth  department, 
and  there  had  been  some  delay  in  bringing  our  convey- 
ance. I  found  the  chief  of  the  stable,  and  made  inquiry 
for  our  steeds,  if  I  may  be  permitted  so  to  designate  the 
steers  ;  'tis  but  a  slight  change  of  orthography. 


GALLVVOOD  S    PROMISED    WIFE.  135 

It  seemed  that  a  stable-boy  or  hostler  had  been  remiss, 
and  on  him  the  other  vented  himself  with  much  foul  lan- 
guage, which  was  returned,  quite  as  well  as  a  Yankee  boy 
of  twenty  might  have  done,  with  lip. 

"  Why  in  Undersea  and  drowning  didn't  you  have  those 
steers  ready  when  I  told  you  ? "  demanded  the  boss. 

The  boy  was  sulkily  getting  out  the  vehicle. 

"Mathematics  drown  you,  why  don't  you  answer.?" 

The  other  got  very  red  in  the  face  and  muttered  some 
reply. 

"You  Mathematics  drowned  Undersea  cipher,"  roared 
the  enraged  livery  man,  "  if  I  catch  you  forgetting  again 
I'll  discharge  you." 

"Go  to  Undersea,"  retorted  the  boy,  "  I  ain't  going  to 
be  bullied  by  you." 

Then  they  had  it  hot  and  heavy.  It  was  an  excellent 
lesson  for  me,  and  one  that  was  of  avail  to  me  in  furnish- 
ing Oliver  with  an  explanation  of  my  meaningless  jargon. 

"The  fact  is,"  I  continued,  "I  do  not  feel  very  mathe- 
matical when  I  think  of  that  Gallwood." 

"  Yet  it  would  be  better  if  you  did  nothing  further  to 
provoke  his  anger,"  said  Oliver. 

"Then  let  him  beware  how  he  interferes  with  me.  The 
way  he  interrupted  that  evening  at  the  Governor's  when 
Miss  Margery  and  I  were  talking  I  regard  as  rude  and 
ungentlemanly  in  the  extreme." 

"Yes,  I  know  he  can  be  abrupt  in  his  manner,"  said 
Oliver,  soberly,  "  but  perhaps  you  gave  him  some  little 
cause  to  feel  irritated — " 

"  I !  What  cause  have  I  ever  given  him  ?  For  some 
reason  utterly  unknown  to  me  he  seems  to  have  taken  a 
dislike—" 


136  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Is  it  possible,  Mr.  Cliff,  that  you  cannot  surmise  the 
reason  ?  " 

"  Indeed  I  cannot." 

"  Have  you  not  manifested  some  slight  interest  in  Miss 
Margery,  Mr.  Cliff .-'  Of  course  I  understand  nothing  seri- 
ous—" 

"  Nothing  serious,"  I  exclaimed,  passionately.  "Oliver, 
I  will  tell  you,  because  I  believe  you  are  a  true  friend  ; 
but  I  would  die  for  that  girl — " 

Oliver  started.  We  were  riding  along  at  a  slow  trot  up 
a  long  incline.  Perhaps  the  oxen  were  tired  (we  had 
come  a  considerable  distance),  for  when  Oliver  started, 
he  unconsciously  tugged  at  the  lines,  and  we  came  to  a 
dead  halt  in  the  road,  and  sat  there  looking  into  each 
other's  eyes. 

"  Yes,"  I  continued,  "  I  love  her  as  I  do  my  very  life." 

"You  astonish  me,"  said  Oliver,  "beyond  measure." 

"  I  loved  her  the  first  time  I  saw  her." 

"  That  was  at  the  convalescent  ball — " 

"  No,  I  had  seen  her  before  that, — 1  had  seen  her  in 
the  garden — " 

"  From  your  window  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Have  you  spoken  ?  " 

"  To  her .?  " 

"Yes." 

"  No,  not  yet." 

"  Then,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  Oliver,  with  a  sigh  of  relief,  "  let 
me  warn  you  never  to  do  so." 

"  Why  not  ?"  I  asked,  with  some  dignity.  "If  I  love 
her  why  should  I  not  speak  to  her  ?  " 

"  Because  by  so  doing  you  will  gain  the  deadly  enmity 
of  Gallwood  forever.     She  is  his  promised  wife." 


CHAPTER  XV. 

HIS    TEXT    WAS    TAKEN    FROM    THE    FIRST    GROUND    RULE. 

^"pWO  months  had  passed  since  Oliver  and  I  left  the 
-*■  asylum,  when,  having  traversed  the  island  from  end 
to  end,  we  again  returned  to  it.  It  was  an  intensely  hot 
day  in  August,  and  I  was  feeling  terribly  depressed,  not 
only  on  account  of  the  blow  that  I  had  received  in  learn- 
ing of  Margery's  engagement,  but  from  another  and 
totally  different  cause. 

Two  days  before,  in  passing  through  the  third  depart- 
ment, it  had  happened  that  I  became  a  reluctant  witness 
to  a  strange  and  remarkable  spectacle,  and  one  so  en- 
tirely at  variance  with  our  own  customs  that  it  may  per- 
haps be  worth  while  to  digress  a  little  in  order  to  give 
some  account  of  what  I  saw.  Thoughtlessly  I  asked  my 
friend  what  was  the  meaning  of  a  certain  large  concourse 
of  people  wending  their  way  in  the  direction  of  the  ocean 
that  lay  not  far  from  the  highway.  Oliver  responded  by 
telling  me  that  it  was  a  funeral,  and  at  the  same  time 
suggested  that  we  might  wait  and  witness  the  ceremo- 
nies. 

My  desire  for  information  had  been  much  lessened  since 
I  had  been  told  that  my  beloved  Margery  was  forever 
lost  to  me ;  but  a  spectacle  of  a  gloomy  nature  was  in 
consonance  with  my  depressed  feeling,  and  I  acquiesced 
at  once  in   the   suggestion.      It  was  a  strange  procession 

137 


138  INQUIKENDO    ISLAND. 

in  whose  wake  we  followed.  First  came  an  immense  cata- 
falque drawn  by  thirty  or  more  oxen,  all  moving  at  a  slow 
and  stately  walk ;  on  either  side  of  these  and  of  the  cata- 
falque itself  were  youths  and  maidens,  clad  in  white  from 
head  to  foot,  wrapped  in  one  immense  garment  that,  cov- 
ering their  heads,  trailed  on  the  ground  behind  them. 
They  were  all  singing  a  weird  and  solemn  dirge,  in  which 
the  whole  of  the  cortege  joined  in  a  sort  of  chorus  at  inter- 
vals. On  the  vast  palanquin,  each  one  covered  with 
sheets  of  different  dyes,  were  long  narrow  iron  boxes  that 
I  was  aware  from  the  manifest  weight  must  be  of  iron, 
and  I  was  also  aware  that  they  were  coffins.  Behind 
this  peculiar  hearse  came  a  great  multitude,  partly  on  foot 
and  partly  in  the  various  conveyances  peculiar  to  the 
country ;  but  all  were  sombre,  and  while  some  wept 
others  joined  their  voices  in  the  sad  refrain. 

Besides  the  young  singers  there  were  others  in  the 
midst  of  the  procession  who  were  clad  in  white.  These 
were  the  mourners.  As  we  drew  up  on  the  crest  of  a 
height  overlooking  the  sea  the  cortege  filed  past,  and 
then  I  saw,  seated  among  a  number  of  others  all  clad  in 
white,  the  cadaverous  visage  of  my  ancient  enemy,  the 
Reverend  Mr.  Nudwink.  He  saw  me  by  the  side  of 
Oliver  ;  for  one  moment  he  fixed  upon  me  a  frigid,  stony 
look,  but  offering  no  sign  of  recognition,  he  passed 
slowly  on. 

I  now  looked  about  me  for  signs  of  a  graveyard,  but 
I  could  sec  none.  Oliver  motioned  to  me  to  follow  him, 
and  in  silence  I  did  so.  In  silence  the  mourners  filed 
ahead  with  the  clergymen,  Nudwink  prominent  among 
them.  In  silence  the  singers  took  their  places,  and  the 
multitude  ranged  themselves  in  a  semi-circle  round  what 
I  at   first    supposed  was  the   opening  to  a  vault.     There 


PARSON    NUDWINK  S    TEXT.  139 

were  so  many  in  front  of  me  at  first  that  it  was  with  diffi- 
culty that  I  could  see  ;  but  it  happened  that  Oliver  had 
been  at  the  Mathematical  Seminary  with  one  of  those  who 
officiated,  and  this  young  clergyman  procured  us  standing 
room  near  the  spot  where  the  funeral  ceremonies  were  to 
take  place. 

This  clergyman  was  quite  a  young  man,  of  a  slender 
build  and  pale  countenance  ;  but  in  the  short  interval  we 
had  to  converse  I  found  him  exceedingly  afifable,  not  to 
say  jocular.  He  wore  glasses,  and  had  a  slight  cough, 
and  was  in  all  other  respects  similar  to  the  usual  young 
man  in  orders  at  home,  except  that  his  surplice  was  a 
little  more  like  a  sheet,  and  was  made  of  some  heavy 
woollen  fabric. 

Oliver  introduced  me,  and  Mr.  Ezra  Smalls  (that  was 
his  name)  chattered  with  us  placidly,  divesting  himself  for 
.the  time  of  the  solemnity  habitual  to  such  an  occasion. 

"  We're  going  to  have  a  shower,"  said  Oliver. 

"  Yes,"  replied  Mr..  Smalls,  looking  up,  "  I  hope  we 
shall,  for,  through  some  inadvertence,  the  sexton  has 
omitted  to  bring  the  usual  supply  of  water." 

While  I  was  wondering  what  this  could  mean,  the 
hearse  had  been  disembarrassed  of  its  load,  and  the  iron 
boxes  or  coffins  were  piled  in  tiers  on  either  side  of  what 
had  appeared  to  be  the  gateway  or  door  to  a  vault.  A 
few  moments  after  Mr.  Smalls  was  summoned  to  join  the 
other  clergymen,  and  we  were  left  alone.  We  could  see, 
however,  all  that  was  passing,  and  it  is  needless  to  say 
that  I  was  intensely  interested. 

The  singing  began  again  ;  a  chant,  the  words  of  which, 
being  so  near,  I  was  able  to  follow.  It  w-as  singularly 
beautiful.  I  can  recall  only  a  few  lines,  and  even  these 
indistinctly.     After  the  chant  there    was    an   expression 


140  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

from  Mr.  Smalls,  and  then  the  Reverend  Mr.  Nudwink 
delivered  a  discourse.  It  was  not  long.  "  His  text," 
Mr.  Nudwink  stated,  "  was  taken  from  the  First  Ground 
'Rule,  and  was  as  follows :  *  Only  like  numbers  can  be 
added.' " 

In  the  course  of  his  remarks,  which  I  make  no  effort  to 
report  in  full,  Mr.  Nudwink  explained  the  difference  that 
existed  between  the  various  classes  of  men  respecting  nat- 
ural characteristics.  "  First/'  he  said,  "  are  the  naughts, 
sunk  in  sin  ;  next,  are  the  units,  w-ho  are  not  naturally  de- 
praved, but  are  not  on  that  account  in  a  less  perilous 
condition  ;  next,  the  problems  or  mixed  numbers,  and  last, 
the  integers.  You  know,  my  friends,  that  Arithmetical 
scholars  have  differed  greatly  upon  the  great  question  of 
the  salvation  of  the  cipher.  All  admit  that  he  must  be- 
come a  whole  number,  but  the  point  of  difference  is  the 
means  by  which  this  shall  be  accomplished.  Some  have 
maintained  that  notation  alone  was  sufficient,  and  others 
that  numeration  would  suffice.  But  the  Arithmetic  is 
clear  and  precise.  There  is  no  uncertain  sound  about 
this  declaration  that  conies  upon  the  ear  like  the  sound  of 
many  waters  :  '  A  prime  number  has  no  divisor,'  and 
again,  a  'composite  number  has  other  divisors,'  thus 
clearly  proving  that  without  the  true  divisor  there  was  no 
hope  that  there  would  be  a  quotient.  Others  have  main- 
tained the  opinion  that  notation  was  of  little  moment,  but 
that  love,  charity,  good-will,  and  so  on,  was  all-sufficient. 
Now  I  turn  to  the  Arithmetic  to  see  what  these  things 
mean,  and  I  read  texts  that  appear  to  support  all  of  these 
seemingly  contradictor}'  views.  I  say  appear  to  do  so,  for 
we  who  believe  and  have  been  cancelled  rejoice  only  in 
Numbers  and  in  the  solution.  I  do  not  say  only  the  writ- 
ten, but  also  the  mental  solution  ;  the  main  thing  is  to  be 


PARSON    NUDVVINKS    TEXT.  l4l 

an  integer.  Trust  to  the  saving  power  of  the  raft.  We 
assemble  here  to-day  to  commit  to  the  ocean  whence  they 
came  the  souls  of  twelve — "  Some  one  by  Mr.  Nudwink's 
side  gave  him  a  nudge,  and  whispered.  He  stopped  for 
a  moment,  stooped  down,  and  listened.  "  Yes,  fifteen  -  I 
was  in  error,"  continued  the  clergyman,  straightening  up, 
"beloved  integers,  I  was  in  error;  not  that  the  exact 
number  matters — fifteen  souls.  Shall  they  all  find  an 
abiding-place  in  Oversea  ?  It  can  be  safely  said  of  those 
who  relied  upon  the  raft  that  they  shall.  Yes,  beloved, 
the  raft  can  float  their  souls.  '  How  do  I  know  that  this  is 
true  ? '  the  prime  number  asks  defiantly.  I  answer,  '  By 
notation.'  No  one  has  seen  the  raft  float,  but  we  have 
the  testimony  of  our  fathers  who  passed  through  the  flood 
that  it  did  float,  and  that  Numbers  was  swallowed  up 
therefrom  that  our  fathers  might  be  saved.  If  our  fathers 
were  thus  saved  so  shall  we  be,  and  so  shall  the  souls  of 
these  now  in  the  boxes  be  safe,  and  pass  on  to  Oversea 
through  the  waters.  Be  not  deceived,  beloved  hearers, 
there  is  no  vi'arrant  in  the  Arithmetic  for  any  other  doc- 
trine than  this  which  I  have  taken  for  my  text:  'Only 
like  numbers  shall  be  added.'  True,  the  Arithmetic 
saith,  '  A  unit  is  one  of  a  kind  ' — disposition  being  under- 
stood as  it  reads  in  the  margin  ;  but  of  what  avail  is 
mere  kindness  of  disposition  ?  No,  the  cipher  must  be- 
come a  problem  presented  for  solution,  must  be  cancelled 
till  there  be  no  remainder,  and  this  can  only  be  done  by 
notation  in  Numbers,  and  numeration  will  then  follow  ; 
but  you  must  be  first  like  Numbers." 

Here  the  sermon  ended.  Mr.  Nudwink  got  down 
from  the  wagon  which  had  served  as  an  improvised  pul- 
pit. Four  stout  fellows  now  shouldered  each  a  box,  and 
advanced  towards  the  doors  of  iron.     As  the  bearers  ap- 


142  INQUIRKNUO    ISLAND. 

proached  others  laid  hold  of  these  doors,  and  they,  swing- 
ing, disclosed  to  my  astonishment  a  wide  opening  that  led 
slantwise  down  the  hill,  fifty  feet  or  more  below  to  the  sea. 
This  opening  was  not  closed  overhead,  but  was  of  solid 
iron  as  to  the  bottom  and  sides,  and  perfectly  smooth 
throughout.  Mr.  Nudwink  stood  at  the  mouth  of  the 
shaft,  which  was  not  unlike  an  immense  coal  shute.  He 
had  a  bottle  in  his  hand,  from  which  he  sprinkled  a  few 
drops  on  the  iron  box  as  it  was  held  by  the  bearers  for  a 
moment,  while  he  pronounced  in  a  loud  voice  the  words, 
"  Water  to  water."  Then  he  opened  the  Arithmetic  and 
read  the  following  extracts  : 

"  A  factor  of  a  Number  is  its  Divisor," 

"  The  Number  above  the  line  is  called  the  Numerator." 

"The  Divisor  and  Quotient  are  factors  of  the  Divi- 
dend." 

When  he  had  finished  these  quotations,  Mr.  Nudwink 
again  sprinkled  his  bottle  over  the  box,  saying  again, 
"Water  to  water,"  and  at  this  the  bearers  heaved  with  all 
their  strength,  and  the  heavy  coffin  went  thundering  down 
the  inclined  plain  till  it  reached  the  lower  end,  suspended 
over  the  sea,  into  which  it  plunged  with  a  great  splash. 
With  the  whole  of  the  fifteen  the  same  performance  was 
gone  through,  except  that  towards  the  close  of  the  ob- 
sequies it  began  to  sprinkle,  and  the  bottle  was  not 
called  into  requisition.  All  the  coffins  were  similar  in 
size  and  shape,  and  were  massive  in  the  extreme — all, 
with  one  exception,  which,  though  even  more  ponderous 
than  the  rest,  was  shaped  like  a  cylinder,  and  was,  more- 
over, ornamented  with  various  peculiar  and  singular  de- 
vices. 

As  we  drove  away  in  the  rain  after  the  exercises  were 
over  I  asked  Oliver  to  explain  why  it  was  that   there  was 


PARSON    NUDVVINK  S    TEXT.  1 43 

this  difference.  In  reply,  he  told  me  that  the  usual  coffins 
were  furnished  at  a  fixed  price  from  the  "  Fabrican,"  where 
they  were  kept  in  stock  ;  but  that  if  the  deceased  or  his 
family  desired  a  burial  casket  of  a  different  pattern,  and 
were  able  to  pay  for  it,  there  existed  no  reason  why  their 
wants  should  not  be  gratified. 

"The  chief  consideration  with  us  all,"  said  Oliver,  "is 
that  after  life's  journey  shall  be  over  our  mortal  remains 
shall  be  confided  to  the  great  deep." 

"  And  is  eternal  life  unattainable  to  those  who  are  not 
consigned  to  the  sea  ?  "  I  asked. 

Oliver  looked  at  me  in  some  astonishment. 

"Of  course  not,"  he  replied,  "I  thought  you  understood 
that.  How  else  could  the  raft  avail  to  conduct  the  in- 
teger to  Oversea  ?  " 

"  True,"  said  I,  "  that  was  something  I  had  not  thought 
of  before  ;  but  explain  to  me,  if  you  please,  why  some 
prefer  to  have  a  different  coffin." 

"  In  the  case  of  the  person  you  saw  buried  to-day," 
answered  Oliver,  "he  was  a  very  eccentric  man  of  large 
wealth.  He  had  been,  so  I  am  told,  ill  for  a  long  time, 
and  amused  himself  with  designing  the  peculiar  round  box 
which  you  saw.  You  know,  of  course,  that  the  coffins  are 
ordinarily  arranged  with  hinges,  so  devised  that  no  water 
can  enter  until  the  raft  appears.  These  hinges  this  indi- 
vidual had  made  of  silver.  They  were,  I  am  told,  of  the 
most  elaborate  and  expensive  pattern,  and  there  were,  in 
addition,  various  appliances  in  the  interior." 

"  Is  it  allowed  to  fill  the  coffin  as  any  one's  caprice  may 
dictate  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  that  is,  if  sufficient  room  be  left  for  the  body, 
and  provided  the  external  size  be  not  too  great  for  the 
sea-way  or  grave." 


144  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  What  is  the  size  of  the  sea-way  ?  " 

"  Six  feet  each  way." 

*'  How  many  of  these  sea-ways  are  there  ? " 

"  There  is  one  in  each  department ;  and  besides  that 
there  is  the  criminals'  sea-way  in  the  fifth,  and  the  non 
compos'  sea-way  in  the  fourth  department." 

"  The  non-compos"  ?  "  I  asked,  "  pray  what  is  that  ?  " 

"  Can  it  be  possible,  Mr.  Cliff,  that  you  are  not  informed 
upon  that  point?"  said  Oliver,  with  a  slight  shudder. 
"  Well,  I  will  explain.  Whenever  a  person,  for  any  reason, 
such  as  habitual  crime,  chronic  insanity,  or  any  other 
cause,  becomes  unfit  for  society,  and  it  has  become  cer- 
tain that  he  never  can  be  made  fit,  he  being  tried  for  his 
life  before  the  Sun  Court  at  the  capital,  then  sentence  of 
death  is  passed  upon  him,  in  order  that  society  and  the 
government  may  be  relieved  of  the  burden  and  danger  of 
maintaining  him." 

While  Oliver  was  speaking  a  light  broke  in  upon  my 
mind.  I  remembered  the  peculiar  sensations  that  I  had 
experienced  when  Mr.  Mayland,  in  the  court  room,  had 
alluded  to  a  possible  sentence  of  non  compos  in  my  own 
case.  I  now  realized  for  the  first  time  the  danger  in 
which  I  had  been  placed.  My  anxiety  had  in  great 
measure  departed,  but  I  felt  that  I  needed  sympathy  and 
consolation. 

"  Tell  me,  Oliver,"  I  said,  earnestly,  "  my  lack  of  mem- 
ory on  certain  points  will  not  be  a  bar  to  my  complete 
restoration  to  freedom,  will  it  ?  " 

Oliver  shook  his  head,  with  some  sadness. 

"That  I  cannot  tell,"  he  answered,  slowly  ;  "  you  may 
rely  upon  me  to  make  the  most  favorable  report  that  is 
possible,  but  what  the  result  may  be  I  cannot  possibly 
tell.     It  is  a  strong   point,  the    very  strongest    possible 


PARSON    NUDWINK  S   TEXT.  145 

point,  that  you  have  become  a  mixed  number.  That  will 
have  a  very  great  influence  ;  but  still  there  are  circum- 
stances which  give  great  plausibility  to  Gallvvood's  claim 
that  you  are  unfit  for  society — " 

"You  do  not  mean,"  I  cried,  turning  pale,  "you  cannot 
mean  that  this  infamous  wretch  would  seek  to  have  me 
pronounced — " 

"  Non  compos  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  It  would  not  surprise  me  if  that  should  be  his  object, 
Mr.  Cliff;  it  would  not,  indeed,  and  therefore  let  me 
renew  my  caution  to  you  in  respect  to  the  Governor's 
daughter." 

I  groaned  aloud. 

"  I  know  it  is  hard,"  said  Oliver,  soothingly. 

"  Hard !  "  I  exclaimed,  with  much  bitterness,  "  it  is 
deadly.  I  would  willingly  die  to  rescue  that  sweet  girl 
from  the  clutches  of  such  a  scoundrel." 

"  You  must  not  allow  yourself  to  give  way,"  said  Oliver. 
"  When  we  arrive  at  the  asylum  you  will  be  subjected 
to  another  examination,  and  it  is  in  the  highest  degree 
important  that  you  should  be  able  to  pass  it  properly. 
If  you  can  get  upon  the  second  stage  of  the  course  all 
may  yet  be  well." 
10 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

I   AM    ENGAGED    TO    BE    MARRIED. 

"T^R.  SETBON  was  at  the  asylum  when  we  returned; 
^^  but  the  Governor  and  his  family  were,  I  was  told,  at 
the  cottage  on  the  coast  where  they  always  went  during 
the  very  hot  weather.  In  the  course  of  the  next  week  the 
Governor  returned,  and  I  was  subjected  to  a  sort  of  ex- 
amination. It  was  not  very  severe,  however,  for  neither 
Gallwood  nor  Nudwink  appeared  to  press  the  case  against 
me.  I  fully  understood  that  the  best  possible  representa- 
tions had  been  made  in  my  favor  by  both  Dr.  Setbon  and 
Oliver,  and  to  my  great  joy,  Mr.  Mayland,  having  full 
authority,  gave  a  speedy  decision,  placing  me  on  the 
second  stage  of  the  course  of  discipline. 

The  privileges  of  this  condition,  as  to  which  I  had  in- 
formed myself,  were,  for  one  who  had  for  so  long  experi- 
enced the  misfortune  of  surveillance,  considerable.  I  was 
under  certain  disabilities  ;  but,  as  these  consisted  only  in 
being  obliged  to  report  at  intervals  of  thirty-six  days  to 
the  Governor,  and  to  confine  my  wanderings  solely  to  the 
limits  of  the  third  department,  I  did  not  regard  them  as 
excessively  burdensome. 

I  was  also  told  that  in  case  I  had  any  especial  wish  to 
visit  any  particular  part  of  the  island  I  could  readily 
obtain  the  Governor's  permission  to  do  so  by  making  a 
proper  application.  Of  course  my  great  desire  now  was  to 
see  Margery,  but  I  had  naturallv  some  reluctance  in  pre- 

146 


I    AM    ENGAGKD    TO    BE    MARRIED.  I  47 

ferring  any  request  in  this  regard  to  Mr.  Mayland.  It  fell 
out,  in  a  way  much  to  my  satisfaction,  that  Margery  re- 
turned to  the  asylum  for  a  brief  visit,  and  to  my  un- 
bounded satisfaction,  I  saw  the  girl  whom  I  now  regarded 
as  the  one  gleam  of  light  in  all  the  gloom  of  that  desolate 
place. 

It  seemed  to  me  that  she  had  grown  lovelier  than  ever 
in  the  two  months  that  I  had  passed  wandering  away 
from  her.  Her  eyes  lighted  up,  and  a  rosy  blush  over- 
spread her  smiling  face  as  she  held  out  her  hand  to  me 
with  charming  frankness.  It  was  the  day  after  her  father 
had  rendered  his  decision  in  my  favor  when  I  met  her 
walking  in  the  garden  ;  that  same  happy  garden  where,  in 
the  days  of  my  incarceration,  I  had  first  seen  her. 

She  showed  no  coyness,  but  seemed,  as  I  know  she  was, 
glad  to  see  me. 

"  Papa  has  been  telling  me  about  you,"  she  said,  "and 
now  that  you  can  do  so,  I  hope  you  will  come  and  see  us 
at  our  summer  house." 

How  my  heart  beat  at  that  invitation,  and  then  sank 
immediately  at  the  thought  which  flashed  across  my  mind 
of  the  vanity  of  all  my  hopes,  and  of  the  claim  that  the 
infamous  Gallwood  had  over  this  sweet  creature. 

I  suppose  Margery  must  have  noticed  some  change  in 
my  countenance,  for  she  asked  me  at  once  with  manifest 
concern  if  I  was  not  well. 

I  made  an  evasive  answer,  which,  however,  did  not 
satisfy  her. 

"  Are  you  in  any  trouble,  Mr.  Cliff .-'  "  she  asked. 

"  Not  more  so  than  usual,"  I  responded. 

"  But  to-day  I  should  think  you  would  be  feeling  happy, 
now  that  you  are  almost  free." 

*'  1  should  be  happy,"  I  answered,  sadly,  "  very  happy,  if 


148  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

it  were  not  for  having  heard  something  lately  that  has 
filled  my  heart  with  grief." 

"  What  is  it  that  you  have  heard,  Mr.  Cliff } "  she 
asked,  with  downcast  eyes. 

Should  I  tell  her  ? — ought  I  ? — dare  I>  I  recalled  the 
warning  of  Oliver,  and  the  fact  that  I  was  as  yet  not 
wholly  free.  Would  it  be  prudent  to  speak  ?  While  I 
was  debating  these  things,  she  raised  her  eyes  furtively  to 
mine. 

"  Will  you  not  tell  me  what  it  is  that  you  have  heard 
that  troubles  you  .''  " 

With  that  sweetly  voiced  question,  and  in  the  light  of 
those  lovely  eyes,  full  of  kindness  and  sympathy,  I  forgot 
my  prudence ;  I  forgot — as  wiser  men  than  I  have  done 
before — all  but  the  fact  of  the  presence  of  the  woman  I 
loved. 

"  I  heard  that  you  were  engaged  to  be  married  to — that 
— to  Mr.  Gallwood." 

Margery  started,  blushing  hotly,  and  drew  herself  up 
with  an  air  of  some  indignation. 

"  Who  told  you  that,  Mr.  Cliff  ?  "  she  asked,  impetuously. 

"  I  heard  it." 

"  And  do  you  believe  it  ?  " 

"  What  else  could  I  do  but  believe  it  ? " 

"  Distrust  it,"  she  answered.  "  After  what  I  told  you 
once  you  should  have  distrusted  such  a  story." 

Then  I  remembered  her  remark  that  she  was  not  only 
not  engaged  but  she  never  should  be.  In  recalling  this 
I  felt  strangely  renewed  hope. 

"  I  do  remember  that,"  I  said,  joyously.  "  Then  it  is  not 
true  ? " 

"Of  course  it  is  not  true.  Do  you  think  that  I  could 
ever  marry  such  a  man  ?  "        ■ 


I    AM    ENGAGED   TO    BE    MARRIED.  T49 

"I  could  hardly  believe  it,  Miss  Margery;  but  it  has 
distressed  me,  nevertheless,  more  than  you  can  think." 

She  blushed  again  vividly  and  her  eyes  were  again  cast 
down. 

We  were  sitting  on  an  iron  bench  in  a  secluded  part  of 
the  garden.  Over  our  heads  and  through  a  simple  lattice 
all  about  us  clambered  a  full-blooming  vine  of  the  morn- 
ing glory.  We  were  hidden  away  from  all  the  world.  A 
wild  thrill  of  my  long  pent-up  feelings  suddenly  burst  forth. 
I  could  restrain  myself  no  longer  in  the  presence  of  the 
girl  whom  I  so  ardently  loved. 

"Margery,  oh,  my  dearest  Margery,"  I  cried,  turning 
tov^ards  her,  "have  you  not  seen  how  devotedly  I  love 
you  ?  Do  you  not  feel  that  it  is  I,  and  I  alone,  who  claims 
your  heart?     Can  I,  dare  I  hope  ?  " 

I  listened  breathlessly  for  an  answer.  I  leaned  toward 
her.  I  looked  into  her  downcast  eyes,  and  then,  moving 
nearer,  put  out  my  hand  and  took  her  own  little  one  in 
mine.  Thrill  after  thrill  of  exultant  joy  shot  through  me- 
She  did  not  resist,  but  still,  with  downcast  eyes  and  crim- 
son cheeks,  she  suffered  me  to  touch  her. 

"  Shall  it  be  as  I  wish,  my  own  dear  Margery  ?  "  I  mur- 
mured, softly. 

Her  lips  syllabled  the  low  answer,  dear  to  every  lover's 
heart ;  the  single  sweet  word,  "  Yes." 

"  Look  at  me,  Margery,"  I  exclaimed,  passionately,  press- 
ing close  to  her  side,  and  now  holding  her  beautiful  hands, 
one  in  each  of  mine,  "  look  into  my  eyes." 

She  raised  her  long  lashes,  and  the  full  light  of  the 
blue — a  tiny  speck  astray  from  the  heavens  above  us — 
flashed  upon  me.  There  was  love  in  those  sweet  eyes ; 
love,  and  peace,  and  gladness,  and  unutterable  hope  for 
us  both. 


150  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"Darling,  oh,  my  darling,"  I  cried,  and  clasping  mj 
arms  about  her  in  one  joyous  embrace,  I  drew  her  rose- 
bud lips,  unresisting,  to  my  own. 

Oh,  the  sweetness  of  that  hour.  Long  we  sat  there  in 
the  morning-gloried  shade,  thinking  not  of  the  flight  of 
time,  nor  of  aught,  in  fact,  but  our  mutual  happiness. 
Confessing  her  love  for  me  with  maiden  shyness,  Mar- 
gery's head  was  reclined  upon  my  breast.  With  my  arm 
about  her  she  felt  no  dread  of  the  future,  and  I  was  buoy- 
ant with  the  strength  of  youth,  and  impressed  with  that 
power  and  confidence  that  is  part  of  the  blessing  of  life's 
morning. 

Before  we  left  the  arbor  Margery  had  told  me  every- 
thing. Gallwood  had  indeed  sought  her  as  his  bride ; 
but,  even  before  she  had  seen  me  that  evening  at  the  ball, 
she  had  felt  a  strange  repulsion  towards  her  father's 
cousin.  He  had  been  persistent,  and  had  won  her  father's 
confidence  and  esteem. 

"  But  papa  has  not  been  in  the  least  unkind,"  said  Mar- 
gery. "  Oh,  he  is  so  good,  so  tender-hearted.  Papa  would 
not  hurt  a  fly.  He  has  urged  me  to  try  and  like  Rolh, 
but  I  have  always  told  him  it  could  never  be." 

"  Roth  !  "  I  said,  "  is  that  his  name  ?  " 

"Yes,  his  name  is  Roth  Gallwood,"  she  answered. 

"  How  glad  I  am,  dearest  Margery,"  I  said,  with  my  lips 
close  to  hers,  "  how  glad  I  am  that  you  were  so  deter- 
mined." 

"  So  am  I  glad,"  she  responded ;  "  more  than  ever  now," 

Saying  this  she  looked  blushingly  into  my  eyes.  Ah  ! 
that  sweet  time  of  love's  delight ;  how  sweet  it  was.  We 
lingered  long  in  the  garden,  roused  only  from  our  lan- 
guid happiness  by  the  deep  stroke  of  the  bell  in  the  tower 
of  the  asylum  striking  one. 


1    AM    ENGAGED    TO    BE    MARRIED.  I^l 

Margery  started. 

"Oh!  I  ought  not  to  have  lingered  so  long,"  she  ex- 
claimed ;   "papa  will  be  wondering  what  has  kept  me." 

"  Shall  you  tell  him,  dearest  ?  " 

"Perhaps  you  had  better  tell  him,  John,"  she  answered. 

"  Is  he  alone  at  home  .''  " 

"  i  think  he  will  be  after  dinner.     I  am  not  sure." 

"  Who  is  there  with  him  now  ?  " 

Margery's  eyes  sank.  "  Mr.  Gallwood  is  with  him  now  ; 
he  came  last  night." 

"  Oh,  how  I  hate  that  man,  Margery,"  I  said,  shudder- 
ing. 

"  But  you  must  be  very  careful,  John,  not  to  show  it. 
Remember,  you  are  yet  on  the  course  of  discipline.  Per- 
haps it  would  be  wiser,  after  all,  that  you  should  say  noth- 
ing to  papa  until  that  is  settled.  Roth  is  very  vindictive. 
There  is  no  knowing  what  he  may  do." 

"What  can  he  do  ?     I  do  not  fear  him." 

We  were  now  strolling  through  the  garden  ;  a  thick 
screen  of  dahlias  lined  the  path,  hiding  us  from  every  eye. 
Margery  leaned  upon  my  arm,  and  looking  up  full  in  my 
face  she  responded,  almost  tearfully  :  "Oh,  John,  be  care- 
ful ;  do  not  let  your  temper  have  the  advantage  over  you. 
Gallwood  is  implacable.  He  will  do  all  he  can  to  hurt 
you." 

"  How  can  he  hurt  me  ?  " 

"  He  can  ;  be  sure  he  can,  unless  you  are  careful." 

"  Then  for  your  sake,  my  darling,  I  shall  be  upon  my 
guard." 

We  had  now  passed  the  hedge  of  dahlias.  As  we 
crossed  the  open  space  in  that  portion  of  the  garden  where 
I  had  trrst  seen  Margery  among  the  roses  and  lilies,  there 
was  a  sash   raised   in   the   iron   turret  above   our  heads. 


152  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Involuntarily  we  both  looked  up.  There  in  the  open  win- 
dow, looking  down  upon  us  with  a  sinister  smile  upon  his 
dark  countenance,  sat  Galhvood  himself. 

I  felt  poor  Margery  shudder  as  she  leaned  upon  my 
arm.  I  whispered  a  word  of  reassurance  to  her,  and 
then  my  eyes  met  the  man's,  I  suppose  somewhat  defi- 
antly. 

"  A  pleasant  walk.  Miss  Margery,"  said  GalKvood,  with 
affected  politeness,  bowing  grimly  as  he  spoke. 

Margery  raised  her  face. 

"  A  pleasant  walk,"  he  repeated. 

"  Confound  his  impudence,"  I  said,  angrily. 

"  Say  nothing ;  pray  say  nothing,"  said  Margery,  be- 
seechingly.    "  You  must  not  irritate  him." 

"  Thank  you,  cousin,"  she  said,  aloud,  "  I  have  been 
showing  Mr.  Cliff  the  garden." 

Mr.  Gallwood  made  no  reply.  We  walked  on  till  we 
reached  the  gate  leading  to  the  Governor's  house.  "  Shall 
I  come  this  afternoon  to  see  your  father,  Margery .''  "  I 
asked  at  the  gate. 

"  Oh,  John,"  she  responded,  here  yes  filling  with  tears, 
"  I  feel  so  despondent  I  hardly  know  what  to  say.  Roth 
will  know.  He  will  understand,  and  he  will  do  all  he  can 
to  prejudice  papa.  Oh,  how  unhappy  I  am."  She  cov- 
ered her  face  with  her  hands  and  burst  into  an  uncontrol- 
lable agony  of  tears. 

I  strove  to  console  her,  but  all  I  could  say  was  of  no 
avail ;  she  refused  to  be  comforted. 

"  Go,  John,"  she  said  at  last  through  her  sobs,  "  you 
had  better  go.  Papa  will  be  waiting  for  me.  Yes,  per- 
haps you  had  better  come  this  afternoon.  I  don't  know — 
do  as  you  think  best;  but  oh,  dear  John,  be  assured, 
whatever  happens,  of  my  dear  love." 


I    AM    ENGAGED    TO    BE    MARRIED.  1 53 

Slie  burst  out  crying,  more  bitterly  than  ever,  but  would 
say  no  more.  She  gave  me  her  hand,  I  held  it  one  brief 
moment,  and  then  she  turned  and  ran  into  the  house. 

I  returned  to  the  asylum,  where  I  was  now  comfortably 
provided  with  a  pleasant  apartment,  my  mind,  it  is  needless 
to  say,  in  a  strange  turmoil  of  conflicting  emotions. 

My  interview  with  Mr.  Mayland  (for  I  had  one  that 
afternoon)  passed  off  much  better  than  I  had  reason  to  an- 
ticipate. I  stated  the  case  in  respect  to  my  love  for  Mar- 
gery with  all  the  skill  and  earnestness  of  which  1  was 
master.  The  Governor  listened  to  me  with  politeness, 
but  thinly  disguised  astonishment.  He  said  nothing  to 
interrupt  me  while  I  was  speaking,  but  when  I  concluded, 
he  asked  me,  not  unkindly,  whether  I  was  aware  of  the 
fact  that  it  was  a  very  unusual  proceeding  for  a  person  on 
the  course  of  discipline  to  entertain  seriously  views  in 
respect  to  matrimony.  I  answered  with  due  deference 
that  I  presumed  that  this  was  the  case.  "  Perhaps,"  I 
observed,  taking  credit  to  myself  for  the  ingenuity  of  the 
answer,  "  perhaps  it  is  also  unusual  for  a  young  lady  to 
accept  as  satisfactory  the  proposals  of  a  gentleman  under 
such  circumstances." 

"  It  is,  indeed,"  responded  the  Governor ;  but  though 
he  evidently  made  an  effort  to  preserve  a  demure  expres- 
sion, he  could  not  forbear  smiling,  probably  on  account  of 
the  audacity  of  my  suggestion. 

"  My  daughter  may  have  hinted  to  you,  Mr.  Cliff,"  con- 
tinued the  Governor,  "  that  her  mother  and  I  have  enter- 
tained other  views." 

"  Yes,  I  have  heard  so,"  I  answered,  sorrowfully. 

"  It  has  been  almost  settled  that  Mr.  Gallwood  was  to 
be  our  daughter's  husband.  He  would  be  very  grievously 
disappointed." 


154  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  I  sincerely  hope  that  you  will  so  far  grievously  disap- 
point him  as  to  permit  your  daughter  to  accept  my  ad- 
dresses." 

"  There  must  be  no  engagement,  Mr.  Cliff." 

My  face  fell. 

"  At  least  until  you  are  wholly  free.  I  must,  of  course, 
consult  with  Margery  and  with  Mrs.  Mayland.  This,  is  a 
serious  matter,  and  one  that  requires  the  deepest  consid- 
eration." 

"  I  may  see  her,  may  I  not  ?  " 

Mr.  Mayland  remained  thoughtful  for  a  moment. 

"  I  do  not  feel  myself  at  liberty  to  prohibit  your  seeing 
her  altogether,"  he  said  at  last,  "  but  it  will  not  be  best 
tiiat  you  should  see  her  often.  In  fact,  there  will  be  but 
little  opportunity,  inasmuch  as  we  return  to  Lunatico 
cottage  next  Fourth-day ;  this  being  outside  the  limits  of 
the  third  department  will  necessitate  a  discontinuance  of 
all  visits,  for  a  time  at  least."  This  information  was  not 
pleasing  to  me  ;  it  was  a  misadventure  upon  which  I  had 
not  reckoned ;  but  although  my  suit  had  not  wholly  pros- 
pered, 3-et,  on  thinking  the  whole  matter  over  calmly,  I 
could  not  but  felicitate  myself  upon  the  courteous  recep- 
tion that  had  been  accorded  to  my  suit  by  Mr.  Mayland. 
The  next  morning  1  saw  Margery  again  in  the  garden. 

No  restriction  was  placed  upon  our  meetings ;  but 
while  we  were  together  I  could  see  that  Margery  was  ner- 
vous and  troubled.  It  is  needless  to  say  that  I  did  all  that 
lay  in  my  power  to  console  her.  I  pointed  out  to  her  the 
certainty  that  I  should  very  shortly  be  a  free  man,  and 
that  then  I  could  claim  her  hand  without  fear  of  refusal. 

I  felt  very  strong  in  the  fact  that  my  few  five-dollar 
gold  pieces  were  safely  invested,  and  were  now  drawing  a 
comfortable  income  in  Inquirt-ndian  funds.     Money  was  a 


I    AxM    KNGACED    TO    BE    MARRIED.  155 

power  in  the  island  as  elsewhere.  Although  at  these  in- 
terviews no  further  mention  was  made  directly  of  Gallwood, 
yet  I  well  knew  that  it  was  the  haunting  fear  of  his  mach- 
inations that  caused  Margery's  trouble.  At  last,  1  took 
a  sorrowful  farewell  of  my  darling.  We  parted  in  the 
arbor  where  our  troth  had  been  plighted.  She  returned 
to  the  villa,  where  the  ox-team  was  in  readiness  to  con- 
vey her  to  her  father's  country  seat,  while  I  remained 
under  the  bower  of  morning-glories,  from  which,  alas  !  the 
bloom  of  the  morning  had  now  departed.  I  sat  there 
brooding  in  deep  thought,  till,  hearing  a  quick,  impatient 
step  on  the  gravel  walk,  I  looked  up,  and  there,  in  the 
doorway,  with  an  evil  light  in  his  bold  eyes,  stood  Roth 
Gallwood. 


CHAPTER   XVII. 


GALLWOOD  S    LITTLE    SUPPER. 


TT  was  far  more  with  wrath  than  fear  that  I  trembled  at 
""■  the  sight  of  this  man  ;  and  yet,  had  I  not  also  good 
cause  to  fear  ?  Had  I  not  made  of  him  even  a  more 
bitter  enemy  than  ever  ?  Did  I  not  now  stand  between 
him  and  the  object  of  his  unhallowed  love  ?  What  mercy 
could  I  expect  at  his  hands  ?  None,  I  told  myself 
promptly,  none.  Yet  what  especial  harm  could  he  do  me  ? 
I  shuddered  as  I  thought  of  Oliver's  mysterious  warning, 
and  thought  also  of  my  own  ignorance  of  the  law,  and  of 
what  Gallwood's  official  position  might  enable  him  to  ac- 
complish. But  I  took  courage  from  the  fact  that  he  was 
subordinate  in  authority  to  the  Governor,  who  now,  at  least 
for  Margery's  sake,  would  not  be  likely  to  wish  me  harm. 

I  returned  the  man's  insolent  and  defiant  glance  with 
one  that  had  at  least  in  it  an  equal  determination.  I  rose 
to  my  feet  promptly. 

"  To  what  am  I  indebted  for  this — intrusion  ?  "  I  asked, 
with  no  pretence  at  civility. 

"Ah,  you  show  your  teeth  quickly,"  sneered  Gallwood, 
as  he  came  in  without  ceremony,  and  seated  himself  in 
the  further  corner  of  (he  arbor. 

"  Sit  down,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  continued,  with  a  cynical 
smile,  "  sit  down,  and  do  not  allow  yourself  to  become  ex- 
cited." 

I  scowled. 

156 


GALLVVOOD  S    LITTLE   SUPPER.  I57 

"  I  shall  not  interrupt  you  long;  pray  be  seated." 

Still  with  the  scowl  upon  my  face  I  resumed  my  seat. 

"  Are  you  aware,"  pursued  Gallwood,  breaking  ofT  a 
spray  of  the  convolvulus  and  twirling  it  nonchalantly  in 
his  fingers,  "  are  you  quite  aware  that  in  the  absence  of 
Governor  Mayland  from  the  department  all  his  duties — 
and  powers — have  become  mine  ?  " 

I  felt  myself  turning  red.  I  had  not  indeed  thought  of 
this. 

Gallwood  noticed  my  change  of  countenance.  His  own 
brightened  directly. 

"I  tell  you  this,  Mr.  Cliff,  solely  to  put  you  on  your 
guard.  You  may  have  thought,  and  perhaps  still  think, 
that  I  am  unfriendly  to  you.  You  would  err  greatly  if 
you  continued  to  hold  such  views.  I  do  assure  you  that 
I  have  your  good  at  heart,  and  for  that  reason  I  have 
come  to  warn  you.  Your  great  trouble,  I  see  plainly,  is 
your  ungovernable  temper.  Now  I  must  beg  of  you  to 
make  a  serious  effort  to  restrain  yourself.  I  need  not  say 
that  you  have  my  hearty  congratulations  upon  attainiiig 
the  second  stage  of  the  course  of  discipline  ;  but  if  you 
will  calmly  reflect  you  cannot  fail  to  perceive  that  there  is 
a  wide  gulf  between  your  present  situation  and  perfect 
freedom.  My  interest  in  you  personally,  Mr.  Clifif,  is 
very  great,  but  in  my  official  position  my  interest  in  any 
individual  must  of  necessity,  and  from  duty,  be  subordi- 
nated to  the  obligations  I  am  under  to  society.  Do  you 
understand  that .''  " 

I  could  not  divest  myself  of  the  conviction  that  Gall- 
wood was  my  bitter  and  determined  enemy  ;  but  his  tone 
and  manner  and  words  were  so  polite  and  so  courteous, 
that  being  a  gentleman,  I  could  not  forbear  to  reply  with 
equal  civility. 


158  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  I  understand  that  you  have  a  double  duty  to  perform," 
I  answered. 

"  It  lies  in  a  great  measure  with  you,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  con- 
tinued, "  whether  that  duty — at  least  respecting  yourself — 
shall  be  made  difficult  and  irksome,  or  whether  you  can 
relieve  me  of  the  greater  part  of  my  responsibility." 

"  Explain  yourself,"  I  said,  uneasily. 

"  I  will  do  so  in  few  words :  the  second  stage  of  the 
course  of  discipline  permits  you  to  wander  at  your  own 
pleasure  anywhere  within  the  limits  of  the  third  depart- 
ment— " 

"  So  I  am  informed — " 

"  Anywhere,"  Gallwood  went  on,  disregarding  my  in- 
terruption, "  provided  you  report  every  four  weeks  here  at 
the  asylum." 

"  Yes." 

"  There  is  a  clause  in  the  law  respecting  patients  on 
the  second  stage  of  the  course  which  authorizes  the  Gov- 
ernor, or  in  his  absence,  his  deputy — " 

"  Yourself  ? " 

"  Myself — which  in  the  present  instance  authorizes  me 
to  cause  a  strict  watch  to  be  placed  upon  the  actions  and 
movements  of  anyone  whose  conduct  is  not,  in  my  judg- 
ment, in  all  respects  such  as  could  be  implicitly  trusted — " 

"  And  do  you  propose  to  have  such  a  watch  kept  over 
me  ?  "  I  exclaimed,  with  some  heat. 

"  Tut,  tut,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  responded,  airily,  waving  the 
sprig  in  his  hand  with  a  little  dramatic  gesture.  "  Not 
quite  so  fast.  You  draw  your  inferences  much  too  quickly. 
I  had  not  referred  to  you — " 

"  No,  but  you  meant  to,"  I  blurted  out. 

"  Indeed  no  ;  you  are   much  mistaken.     I  referred  to 


gallwood's  i.riTi.E  SUPPER.  159 

anotlier,  whose  condition,  I  grieve  to  say,   I  deem  some- 
what precarious — " 

"  To  another  ?  "  I  stammered,  confused. 

"  Yes,  to  another." 

''To  whom  ?  " 

"  Ah,  that  I  cannot  tell  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  at  least  not  un- 
til all  our  arrangements  are  perfected,  and  we  come  to  a 
distinct  understanding." 

"  Do  I  know  the  person  to  whom  you  refer  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes." 

"  Then  why  not  tell  me  his  name  ? "' 

"Listen,  Mr.  Cliff;  I  will  tell  you  the  exact  situation, 
and  you  can  then  judge  better  if  it  will  be  worth  your 
while  to  accept  a  proposition  that  I  shall  make  to  you." 

"  I  shall  listen,  of  course,"  I  answered,  by  this  time 
nuich  mollified. 

"  Your  own  position,  Mr,  Cliff,  has,  by  the  events  of  the 
last  few  days,  become  changed  for  the  better,  very  greatly. 
I  liave  only  lately  learned  this  fact — indeed,  it  was  only  to- 
day that  I  was  informed  by  my  cousin,  the  Governor,  that 
this  was  the  case." 

"  What  was  it  he  told  you,  Mr.  Gallwood  ?  "  I  inquired, 
now  all  eagerness. 

"The  Governor  told  me  of  your  proposals  respecting 
his  daughter,  and  he  told  me,  furthermore,  that  if  you  both 
remained  of  the  same  mind  at  the  close  of  the  summer 
tliat  he  should  give  his  consent." 

"  He  did  ?  "  I  exclaimed,  rapturously,  "and  you — " 
Gallwood    passed    his   hand    across    his    brow    with    a 
weary  motion. 

"  Oh,  I  can  only  congratulate  you  both.  I  do  so 
heartily,  Mr.  Cliflf,  and  I  beg  of  you  from  this  day  to 
cease  regarding  me  in  the  light  of  an  enemv.     It  is  true 


l6o  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

that  at  one  time  I  sought  the  hand  of  my  cousin's  daugh- 
ter in  marriage  ;  but  I  am  not  the  man  to  press  a  suit 
that  I  find  is  distasteful.  No  matter  how  much  my  own 
heart  is  burdened  I  accept  my  position,  if  not  with  cheer- 
fulness, at  any  rate,  Mr.  Cliif,  with  submission  to  the  will 
of  Mathematics — if  there  be  such  a  thing,"  he  added,  with 
a  lowering  brow. 

It  is  needless  to  say  that  I  felt  myself  greatly  relieved 
by  what  Gallwood  had  said.  It  was  not  only  that  from 
him  had  come  the  first  intimation  that  Mr.  Mayland  was 
disposed  to  regard  my  suit  with  favor,  but  that  such  was 
the  apparent  sincerity  of  the  man's  manner  that  I  could 
not  but  regard  him  as  having  spoken  in  serious  earn- 
est. 

"What  have  you  to  say  to  my  proposal  ?  " 

"  What  proposal  ?  " 

"  Did  you  not  understand  ?  I  did  not,  perhaps,  finish 
my  suggestion  ;  it  \vas  this,  that  you  should  yourself  be 
placed  upon  special  duty  with  this  other  person  of  whom 
I  spoke.  He  is  on  the  second  stage  of  the  course,  as  you 
are  ;  but,  unlike  you,  I  do  not  regard  him  as  wholly  trust- 
worthy. He  has  the  limits  of  the  department ;  but  I 
should  like,  if  the  matter  can  be  so  arranged,  that  you 
would  accompany  him  in  his  rambles,  being  careful  con- 
tinually to  note  any  undue  eccentricities — " 

"  As  an  attendant,  do  you  mean  ?  "  I  asked,  not  at  all 
liking  the  suggestion. 

"  Oh,  no,  not  at  all  in  that  capacity ;  rather  as  a  friend. 
You  would  bear  to  him  very  much  the  same  relation  that 
Oliver  bore  to  you." 

"  That  alters  the  case,"  I  replied,  promptly. 

"You  will  find  him  a  finished  gentleman,"  continued 


GALI.WOOI)  S    LITTLE    SUPPER.  iGl 

Galhvood.     "  One    with    whom    you    could    associate    on 
terms  of  perfect  equality." 

"  Can  you  not  tell  me  his  name  now  ?  " 

"  Better  wait  until  this  evening,  Mr.  Clifif.  We  are  to 
have  a  little  supper  at  my  rooms,  and  then  you  will  meet 
him." 

To  this  I  assented. 

"  I  am  very  glad  that  matters  have  taken  this  shape," 
I  said.  "  Between  us,  Mr.  Gallwood,  there  need  be  no 
further  concealments.  I  can  only  say  how  pleased  I  am 
that  there  is  to  be  no  enmity — " 

"Don't  mention  it,  Mr.  Cliff,"  Gallwood  interrupted. 
"Pray don't.  It  is  true  that  in  one  matter  you  have — " 
He  smiled.     "  You  understand  ?  " 

He  seemed  so  pleasant,  indeed  jocose,  that  I  could  not 
forbear  responding  in  a  vein  of  similar  pleasantry. 

"  You  mean  that  I  have  prevailed  where  you  have 
failed  ?  "  I  said,  with  a  laugh. 

"Just  so,"  he  replied,  good-humoredly. 

"  At  all  events,"  I  said,  more  seriously,  "  I  am  very 
glad  to  fir.d  that  you  cherish  no  resentment." 

"  I  assure  you,  none  whatever,"  said  Gallwood. 

"  I  am  very  glad,"  I  responded. 

"Oh,  well,"  he  continued,  "we  all  have  our  ups  and 
downs.  You  know  the  proverb,  '  What  can't  be  cured 
must  be  endured.'     I  cherish  no  malice," 

So  we  parted.  I  was  much  pleased  at  the  very  unex- 
pected turn  that  my  affairs  had  taken.  It  did  indeed  ap- 
pear as  if  the  clouds  were  lifting,  and  that  I  might  now 
look  forward  to  a  union  with  Margery,  untrammelled  by 
any  untoward  event.  It  was  in  this  joyous  frame  of  mind 
that  I  made  myself  ready  for  Gallwood's  entertainment. 
A  servant  had  presented  me  with  a  politely  worded  note 
II 


l62  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

of  invitation,  and  at  the  designated  hour  I  repaired  to  the 
west  wing,  where  the  assistant  superintendent's  rooms 
were  situated. 

I  found  Dr.  Setbon  waiting  at  the  door.  He  shook  me 
warmly  by  the  hand. 

"  You  are  looking  exceedingly  well,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  re- 
marked, amiably.  "  Your  trip  with  my  nephew  has  put 
new  life  and  vigor  into  you." 

"  Where  is  Oliver,  doctor  ?  "  I  asked,  "  I  haven't  seen 
him  for  several  days." 

"  He  has  unfortunately  been  called  away  to  the  bedside 
of  a  dying  friend,"  replied  the  doctor,  his  voice  betraying 
the  sympathy  he  felt. 

I  expressed  my  sorrow  at  the  tidings. 

"  Poor  fellow  !  poor  fellow  !  "  continued  the  doctor,  "  it 
will  be  a  great  blow  to  his  family,  and  a  great  loss  to  the 
church." 

"Was  this  friend  you  speak  of  in  the  church?"  I 
asked,  politely. 

"  Yes,  he  had  only  just  left  the  seminary.  He  was  in 
the  class  with  Oliver,  and  was  greatly  esteemed  by  him. 
It  was  very  sudden.  To  be  cut  off  so  in  the  very  blush  of 
his  youth  is  indeed  sad.  I  am  sure  I  do  not  know  what 
his  poor  mother  will  do  without  him.  Mr.  Smalls  was 
her  sole  support." 

"  Mr.  Smalls  !  "  I  exclaimed,  astonished.  "  Not  the 
Mr.  Smalls  that  I  met  last  week  ?  " 

"  I  do  not  know.     Did  you  meet  him  ?  " 

"Yes,  I  met  him  at  the  funeral." 

"  Oh  !  were  you  there  ?     I  did  not  know  that." 

"Yes,  I  was  there." 

"  It  was  there  that  he  was  smitten,"  said  the  doctor, 
soberly. 


gallwood's  little  supper.  163 

"  What  was  the  trouble  ?  " 

"  Sea-sickness,"  responded  the  doctor,  with  a  deep  sigh. 

"  Sea-sickness  ?  "  said  I,  amazed. 

"  You  may  well  appear  astonished.  Mr.  Smalls  was 
ordinarily  so  careful." 

I  had,  as  the  observant  reader  may  have  noticed, 
learned  to  restrain  myself,  but  by  dint  of  diligent  and 
prudent  inquiry  I  became  informed  that  after  the  ceremo- 
nies were  over,  Mr.  Smalls  had  thoughtlessly  permitted 
himself  to  stroll  along  the  beach  underneath  the  rocks, 
with  his  expression  book  and  his  own  holy  thoughts.  Un- 
mindful of  the  fhght  of  time,  he  had  walked  on  and  been 
overtaken  by  the  tide. 

Though  not  the  exact  language  Dr.  Setbon  used,  this 
was  the  purport  of  his  remarks. 

"  Then  he  was  drowned !  "  I  exclaimed,  horrified. 

The  doctor  turned,  and  fixed  upon  me  a  peculiar  look. 

"  Drowned  !  Oh,  no,  indeed  ;  Mr.  Smalls  trusted  all  his 
life  to  the  raft  that  is  abundantly  able  to  save.  Is  it 
likely  that  ocean  would  have  any  power  over  him  ?  " 

"  Then  why — "  I  began,  but  stopped,  instantly  biting 
my  lip,  and  aware  of  the  imprudence  of  showing  igno- 
rance. 

"  The  truth  is,  he  got  wet  through.  Horrible,  horri- 
ble." 

The  doctor  shuddered. 

"  And  caught  cold  }  "  I  suggested, 

"  Oh,  no,  the  disease  is  not  complicated  in  any  way,  but 
it  is  none  the  less  mortal.  It  is  a  clear  case  of  sea-sick- 
ness, for  which  there  is  no  cure.  He  now  lies  at  Lunat- 
ico,  Mr.  Mayland's  house,  which  is  situated  not  far  from 
the  spot  where  he  was  attacked,  just  across  the  line  in  the 
second  department," 


164  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Has  he  had  proper  medical  attendance  ?  " 

"  The  very  best.  I  should  myself  have  attended  him 
but  that  my  duties  here  prevented.  They  sent  at  once  to 
the  capital,  and  two  of  the  most  celebrated  physicians 
drove  over  at  once.  Dr.  Wadewater  Muir  and  Dr.  Waltz 
are  both  there,  day  and  night." 

"  And  you  say  there  is  no  hope  .'' " 

"  There  seems  to  be  none  whatever.  No  cure  for  the 
sea-sickness  has  yet  been  discovered ;  that  is,  no  real 
specific." 

"  I  believe  I  could  effect  a  cure  if  I  were  allowed  to 
see  him,"  I  said,  musingly. 

"  You  !  "  said  Dr.  Setbon  with  astonishment,  "  I  was 
not  aware  that  you  had  ever  made  a  study  of  medicine." 

"No,  I  have  not  made  it  a  study;  but  still  I  feel  con- 
vinced that  I  could  point  out  a  remedy — " 

"  What  is  the  remedy  ?  " 

"  It  would  be  necessary  for  me  to  communicate  that  in 
person." 

"  Is  it  a  faith-cure  ?  " 

"Well,  yes,"  I  responded,  irresolutely,  thinking  that  if  I 
could  only  convince  poor  Mr.  Smalls  that  his  ducking 
was  not  necessarily  fatal  he  would  recover.  "  Yes,  my 
cure  has,  I  confess,  something  of  that  nature  about  it." 

Dr.  Setbon  smiled  incredulously. 

"  That  is  wholly  unscientific,"  he  remarked,  "  and  be- 
sides, Mr.  Nudwink  has  essayed  that  already  without 
avail." 

The  dinner  was  really  a  charmingly  gotten  up  affair,  for 
which  Gallwood  deserved  the  utmost  credit.  My  former 
aversion  to  this  man  had  now  so  entirely  disappeared  that 
I  was  able  to  meet  him  without  an  approach  to  rancor, 
and  indeed  with  even  some  cordiality.     He  shook  hands 


gallwood's  little  supper.  165 

wi'.h  fr>fc  very  warmly,  and  then  presented  me  to  those  of 
the  gueot.^  with  whom  I  was  not  acquainted.  Among 
those  with  whom  I  had  not  been  on  famihar  terms  during 
the  period  :/ince  I  returned  to  the  asylum,  I  found,  to  my 
very  great  astonishment,  my  old  antagonist,  BuUinger. 
Gallwood  brought  him  up  to  me  as  I  sat  talking  to  Dr. 
Setbon  and  one  of  the  convalescents.  Bullinger's  face 
wore  a  genial  smile,  and  he  appeared  to  be  very  much 
pleased  to  see  me.  He  sat  down  by  us  at  once  and  en- 
tered into  conversation. 

I  found  that  Bullinger  was  a  changed  man.  He  had 
altogether  lost  that  air  of  secrecy  and  caution  that  I  had 
once  noticed,  and  attributed — rightly,  in  great  part — to 
his  unbalanced  mind.  Now  he  was  frank  and  open  in  his 
manner,  meeting  my  eye  without  embarrassment,  and  con- 
versing Huently  and  quietly  on  ordinary  topics. 

In  the  course  of  the  evening,  after  the  repast  was  over, 
I  had  an  opportunity  for  a  quiet  talk  alone  in  one  corner 
with  him.  He  manifested  no  reluctance  to  refer  to  his 
unfortunate  situation;  but  of  his  own  accord  spoke  of  the 
unpleasant  occurrence  at  the  ball,  and,  with  much  mag- 
nanimity, took  all  the  blame  upon  himself. 

"  Happily,"  he  said,  "  I  am,  I  hope,  at  last  relieved  of 
the  terrible  delusions  that  have  weighed  like  an  incubus 
upon  me  for  many  weary  months.  I  am  now  on  the  sec- 
ond stage  of  the  course,  and  am  confidently  led  to  expect 
that  by  the  time  summer  is  over  I  shall  be  completely  re- 
stored to  liberty.  But  how  is  it  with  yourself,  Mr.  Cliff? 
I  presume  that  your  probation  is  over,  is  it  not  ? " 

"Not  altogether,"  I  answered.  "I  am,  like  yourself, 
still  in  the  second  stage  ;  but  I  also  have  strong  hopes 
that  my  freedom  is  not  long  delayed." 


l66  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

"Curious  freaks  those  were  of  mine,  were  they  not?" 
said  BuUinger,  with  a  laugh. 

"  To  what  do  you  refer  ? "  said  I,  not  knowing  exactly 
how  far  asylum  etiquette  justified  an  acquiescence  in  a 
patient's  views  of  a  freak. 

Bullinger  laughed  heartily. 

"Do  not  be  afraid  to  speak  out,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said, 
"I  know  what  your  opinions  must  be.  Of  course  I  re- 
ferred to  my  own  delusion  respecting  the  spiders.  It  was 
all  excessively  real  to  me  at  the  time,  I  assure  you,  and 
distressing  also.  I  must,  blame  you,  Mr.  Cliff — or  perhaps 
bless  you,  who  knows,  the  vagaries  of  the  human  mind 
are  so  unfathomable — for  the  turn  you  gave  to  my  im- 
agination. I  now  verily  believe  that  it  was  the  relief 
from  one  continual  strain  of  thought  of  which  you  were 
the  cause  that  restored  me,  under  the  skilled  hands  of 
Dr.  Setbon,  to  mental  health." 

"  Of  which  I  was  the  cause  ?     How  so  }  " 

"  Oh,  your  suggestion  respecting  the  sand  fleas.  You 
remember  my  undue  violence,  and  I  hope  have  long  since 
pardoned  it — " 

"  Of  course." 

"  Well,  that  hint  set  my  mind  running  in  a  new  chan- 
nel. In  the  end  the  current  purified  itself,  and  now  I  am 
happy  to  say  that  I  feel  and  know  myself  to  be  a  well 
man." 

"  Certainly,"  I  said,  "  that  is  apparent." 

"  And  are  you  wholly  cured  of  your  notions,  Mr.  Cliff  ?  " 

"  In  respect  to  the  fleas  ?  " 

Bullinger  laughed  again  heartily.  "  Oh,  no ;  I  under- 
stand now  that  your  remarks  before  the  ball  were  only  a 
pretext  to  get  rid  of  me.  I  refer  to  your  delusion  re- 
specting Oversea,  and  all  that." 


gallwood's  little  supper.  ^(q 

"  Oh,  that?  "  I  answered,  as  if  the  subject  was  a  trivia! 
one,  "  of  course  that  is  all  over." 

"  I  am  glad  to  hear  it,  Mr.  Cliff,  truly  glad.  I  am  sure 
that  you  and  I  will  sympathize.  Now,  I  am  proposing  to 
myself  a  little  quiet  excursion  into  the  country  next  week, 
just  a  run  in  the  department  for  awhile  to  get  braced  up. 
What  do  you  say  to  joining  me  ?  " 

"  I  should  like  it  above  all  things,"  I  responded,  "  but 
I  am— that  is— it  has  been  suggested— Mr.  Gallwood 
spoke  to  me — " 

"  Oh,  well,  if  you  have  another  engagement—" 

"  It  is  not  exactly  an  engagement." 

"  At  any  rate,"  said  Bullinger,  "  my  invitation  stands 
open.  I  shall,  not  leave  for  a  day  or  two,  and  if  you 
change  your  mind  let  me  know." 

The  evening  passed  away  very  pleasantly.  With  several 
of  those  present  I  was  already  acquainted,  and  there  were 
others  with  whom  I  became  quite  friendly.  I  found  that 
poor  Mr,  Smalls'  distressing  condition  was  known  to  all, 
and  his  sad  fate  was  the  subject  of  deep  commiseration. 

In  the  course  of  the  evening  I  said  a  word  to  Gallwood 
about  him. 

Gallwood  was  a  little  startled  at  first  by  my  suggestion 
of  a  cure.  I  had  discreetly  said  nothing  as  to  any  faith 
being  required,  and  probably  the  man  imagined  that  I 
referred  to  the  use  of  some  drug. 

"You  might  try,"  he  said,  "  I  see  no  harm  in  that." 

"  Is  it  likely  that  his  disease  will  prove  immediately 
fatal?"  I  asked. 

"  Oh,  no,  he  may  linger  on  for  some  time  yet,  if  the 
doctors  only  leave  him  alone."  Gallwood  smiled  cynic- 
ally. "  I  say  this,"  he  continued,  "  with  all  due  respect  to 
the  profession." 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

GALLWOOD   SMILED   AGAIN. 

'  I  ^HE  next  morning  I  took  occasion  to  speak  to  Gall- 
"'■  wood  in   respect  to  his  proposition,  telling  him  at  the 
same  time  the  suggestion  that  Bullinger  had  made. 

Galhvood  smiled. 

"  I  suppose,"  said  he,  "  that  you  would  like  to  know  the 
name  of  the  travelling  companion  that  I  proposed  for 
you  ? " 

"  I  should,  very  much,"  I  replied.     "  There   were  Mr. 

Humpath  and ;  they  both  appeared  to  be  gentlemen, 

but  I  confess  I  noticed  that  they  seemed  a  trifle  erratic." 

Galhvood  smiled  again. 

"  How  prone  we  all  are  to  err,"  he  said.  "  Neither  of 
those  you  mentioned  is  the  one  ;  they  are  not  even  patients. 
The  first  you  mentioned  is  a  young  physician  from  the 
fourth  department,  who  has  just  come  as  an  assistant  to 
Dr.  Setbon,  with  high  recommendations,  and  the  other  is 
one  of  the  recently  appointed  attendants." 

I  was  very  much  abashed  at  my  own  want  of  judgment. 
I  stammered  out  some  reply,  to  the  effect  that  I  had  no- 
ticed in  these  persons'  conversation  a  something  that  ap- 
peared to  me  to  indicate  eccentricity. 

"Oh,  the  young  doctor  is  eccentric,  I  grant,"  replied 
Galhvood  ;  "  but  what  was  it  that  struck  you  as  especially 
odd?" 

"  He  harped  so  continually  upon  an  operation  that  he 
claimed  to  have  recently  performed — " 

1 68 


GALLWOOD  SMILED  AGAIN.  I OQ 

'•Oh,  that  !   why  he  has  gained  his  reputation    by  i'..,:. 
very  operation — " 

"  But  such  a  strange  result !  "  I  said,  incredulously. 

"  Did  it  appear  to  you  to  be  strange  ?  "  Gallwood  asked, 
musingly. 

"  It  did  indeed." 

"  How  so  ?  " 

"  His  claiming  that  by  an  operation  on  the  brain  he 
was  enabled  to  alter  completely  the  man's  character 
seemed  to  be  remarkable  in  the  highest  degree." 

"  I  confess  it  was  remarkable  ;  but  far  from  indicating 
eccentricity  it  is  an  evidence  of  the  very  highest  intel- 
lect." 

"  And  did  he  really,  as  he  stated,  so  modify  the  man's 
character  as  to  render  him  gentle,  kind,  and  lovely  in  dis- 
position who  had  before  been  stubborn  and  brutal  ?  " 

"  He  did  indeed." 

"  Wonderful !  " 

*'  Yes,  it  is.  The  result  of  the  operation  has  attracted 
a  great  deal  of  attention  from  scientists  on  the  island." 

"Wonderful,"  I  repeated. 

"  Heretofore,"  continued  Gallwood,  *'  it  has  been  all  the 
other  way.  Such  operations  have  not  been,  as  you  may 
perhaps  know  in  a  general  way,  uncommon  ;  but  the  re- 
sult has  always  been  to  impair  rather  than  strengthen  the 
m.oral  faculties.  The  subject  in  this  case  was  a  confirmed 
drunkard,  a  thief  by  instinct,  and  who,  for  a  deadly  assault 
committed  in  passion,  was  serving  out  a  long  sentence  at 
hard  labor  in  the  prison.  He  was  employed  in  the  forge 
room  ;  while  there,  there  was  a  terrible  accident,  by  which 
several  were  killed  and  many  seriously  injured.  This  man 
was  struck  on  the  head  by  an  iron  pin,  which  pierced  his 
skull.     He  was  given  up  to  die  ;  but  this  young  doctor 


lyO  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

performed  an  operation,  by  which,  as  I  stated,  not  only 
was  his  physical  health  restored,  but  his  moral  health  as 
well.  He  has  now  completely  recovered,  taken  the  pledge 
to  totally  abstain  from  liquor,  and  has  signified  his  in- 
tention to  join  the  church.  It  is  said  that  he  recognizes 
clearly  the  hand  of  Mathematics  in  what  has  befallen  him." 

"  How  one  can  be  mistaken,"  I  remarked.  "  I  thought 
that  young  man  was  talking  most  wildly." 

Gallwood  smiled  again. 

"It  requires  an  expert  in  these  matters,"  he  said,  "to 
judge  correctly." 

"  So  it  seems  ;  but  now,  Mr.  Gallwood,  if  not  either  of 
those  whom  I  have  mentioned,  who  is  it  that  is  to  be  my 
companion  .-*  " 

Gallwood  smiled  again. 

"It  is  Bullingef— " 

•'  Bullinger  ? " 

"Yes." 

"  You  do  not  mean  to  tell  me  that  his  cure  is  not  com- 
plete ? " 

"  Well,  as  I  told  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  he  is  on  the  second 
stage  of  the  course,  and  therefore  I  have  no  direct  right 
of  supervision  over  his  actions  :  but  1  have  casually  ob- 
served certain  little  things  that  have  caused  me  consider- 
able uneasiness — but,  Mr.  Cliff,  you  have  not  told  me 
whether  it  will  please  you  to  make  the  trip  with  Bullin- 
ger." 

"  Of  course,"  I  answered.  "  I  do  not  profess  to  be  a 
judge,  but  it  did  seem  to  me  that  Bullinger  had  quite  re- 
covered the  tone  of  his  mind.  He  talked  most  rationally 
to  me.  In  fact,  we  were  in  sympathy  almost  from  the  first 
words  that  passed  between  us.  The  very  fact  that  he 
alluded  so  calmly  to  his  own  previous  mental  deficiencies 


GALLWOOD  SMILED  AGAIS.  17I 

was  a  convincing  proof  to  my  mind  tliat  all  trouble  was 
over." 

"  That  goes  some  distance,  I  confess,"  responded  Gall- 
wood. 

"  What  is  the  trouble,  then  ?  "  I  asked,  with  some  anxi- 
ety. "  If  I  am  to  be  in  his  society  continually  for  any  length 
of  time  I  ought  surely  to  know  his  weak  point,  in  order, 
for  his  benefit,  that  I  may  be  on  my  guard." 

"  Certainly  :  it  is  right  you  should  know.  What  I  say  to 
you,  Mr.  Cliff,  is  of  course  in  the  strictest  conlidence." 

"  Of  course." 

"His  old  delusions,"  pursued  Gallwood,  "have  com- 
pletely vanished,  that  you  remarked  yourself ;  but  I  regret 
to  say  that  I  have  observed  slight  evidences — impercepti- 
ble to  a  non-expert,  perhaps — which  have  led  me  to  form 
the  conclusion  that  what  we  call  in  technical  language 
secondary  symptoms  are  likely  to  supervene." 

"  Of  what  do  they  consist  ?  " 

Gallwood  smiled  again. 

"  This  is  a  recondite  and  abstruse  matter,"  he  said, 
speaking  now  very  seriously,  "  but  one  to  which  it  behoves 
you  to  pay  diligent  attention.  In  early  youth  Bullinger 
was  admitted  to  the  fold  of  the  Established  church,  and 
was  duly  cancelled.  As  he  approached  man's  estate  Ivj 
gave  '  abundant  evidence,'  as  the  parsons  say,  of  a  radi- 
cal change.  He  was  devoted  to  his  scientific  pursuits,  it 
is  true,  but  he  was  likewise  a  devout  attendant  upon  the 
ordinances  of  religion.  He  has  been  under  our  care  here 
at  the  asylum  for  over  a  year.  After  he  was  pronounced 
convalescent,  you  remember  the  outbreak  of  which  he  was 
guilty  at  the  ball  towards  yourself.  Of  course  he  had  then 
to  be  placed  under  restraint,  but  still  that  we  did  not  re- 
gard as  a  very  serious  matter.     These  things  must  all  be 


172  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

taken  in  their  bearings  towards  the  general  delusion,  what- 
ever that  may  be.  He  gradually  recovered,  and  now  that 
he  has  been  placed  on  the  second  stage  of  the  course 
of  discipline,  only  one  source  of  uneasiness  remains  :  his 
views  on  religious  matters  appear  to  have  undergone  a 
radical  change." 

"  In  what  respect  ?  "  I  inquired. 

"He  has  become  a  Free-thinker,"  replied  Gallwood. 

"  And  is  that  evidence  of  the  secondary  symptoms  ?  " 

"  It  would  not  be  by  itself ;  that  is,  the  holding  of  free 
opinions  is  no  evidence  of  insanity.  If  it  were,"  Gall- 
wood  continued,  with  another  smile,  "  some  of  the  most 
acute  minds  in  the  island  would  be  considered  impaired. 
It  is  not  that,  by  any  means  ;  it  is  rather  the  tendency  to  a 
change  showing  a  laxity  of  fixed  principle.  In  our  code 
of  medical  jurisprudence,  nothing  is  better  established 
than  that  this  has  a  direct  tendency  towards  the  condition 
called  secondary." 

"I  understand." 

"  I  knew  that  you  would,  Mr.  Cliff.  I  was  well  aware 
that  the  mere  statement  of  the  case  would  be  sufficient." 

"  Do  you  wish  me  to  try  and  turn  Bullinger's  mind  away 
from  his  new  opinions  ?  " 

"  By  no  means,"  replied  Gallwood,  hastily  ;  "  rather,  if 
you  can  do  so  conscientiously,  fall  in  with  his  views.  In 
your  case  no  harm  will  be  done,  and  it  may  be  the  means 
of  effecting  a  complete  cure." 

"  I  am  not  bigoted." 

"  I  know  you  are  not ;  in  fact — "  Galhvood's  voice  sank 
to  a  whisper,  "  I  have  observed  you  very  closely,  Mr.  Cliff, 
of  late,  and  I  have  partially  satisfied  myself  that  you  hold 
somewhat  similar  views  to  my  own  on  these  metaphysical 
subjects." 


GALLWOOD  SMILED  AGAIN.  1 73 

I  Started  slightly.  Could  it  be  possible  that  Gallwood 
had  perceived  the  absurdity  of  which  I  was  so  well  aware  I 

"  What  are  your  views,  Mr.  Gallwood  1  "  I  asked. 

Gallwood  smiled  again. 

"  I  may  speak  to  you  in  confidence,  may  I  not  ?  "  he 
said. 

"  You  may." 

"Then  I  frankly  avow  that  to  me  all  these  so-called 
religions  are  the  merest  vagaries.  I  do  not  believe  in 
Mathematics,  nor  in  Numbers,  nor  in  the  Digits,  and  I  con- 
sider that  the  Arithmetic  is  only  valuable  for  the  princi- 
ples it  contains,  nothing  more." 

I  smiled  in  my  turn. 

"  You  see  what  I  mean,  Mr.  Cliff  ? " 

"Perfectly." 

"  I  speak  in  the  strictest  confidence." 

"  Oh,  I  understand  that." 

"  And  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  are  not  your  views  in  accord  with 
mine  ? " 

I  hesitated.  It  is  true  that  by  his  frankness  Gallwood 
had  quite  won  my  confidence ;  but  still  had  I  not  in  some 
measure  committed  myself  to  Oliver?  I  had  avowed  my- 
self to  be  a  mixed  number,  and  I  felt  some  doubt  whether 
I  had  not  thereby  placed  myself  on  record  as  desiring 
a  more  intimate  union  with  the  branch  of  the  church  to 
which  he  belonged. 

"  I  can  say  this  much,  Mr.  Gallwood,  at  all  events,"  I 
said,  evasively,  "  that  what  you  have  said  at  least  I  quite 
fully  concur  in." 

"  In  respect  to  the  principles  contained  in  the  Arithme- 
tic being  all  there  is  of  value  in  it .''  " 

"  Certainly." 


174  INCJUIRLNbO    ISLAND. 

"Then  it  seems  our  views  do  coincide.  May  I  sug- 
gest ?  " 

"Anything,"  I  repHed. 

"  Then  if  I  were  in  your  place  I  should  go  to  Bullinger 
at  once  and  accept  his  proposition.  It  is  all  the  better 
that  the  suggestion  came  from  him.  Here,"  continued 
Gallwood,  "  here  are  tickets  for  a  lecture  to  be  delivered 
this  evening  at  the  capital  by  a  certain  noted  Free-thinker. 
I  am  sure  you  will  be  interested,  and  it  will  be  an  excel- 
lent means  of  worming — I  mean,  ingraiiating  yourself  with 
Bullinger." 

"  But  the  capital  is  out  of  the  department — " 

"Oh,  I  shall  provide  for  that.  If  you  will  come  to  my 
office  about  noon  I  will  furnish  you  both  with  passes." 

"Thank  you,"  I  responded  heartily,  "1  shall  be  very 
glad  to  go." 

Gallwood  was  about  turning  away  when  it  occurred  to 
me  that  all  his  kindness  deserved  some  further  recognition. 
I  held  out  my  hand. 

"  Mr.  Gallwood,"  I  said,  as  he  shook  me  by  the  hand 
kindly,  "  I  have  been  greatly  deceived  in  you.  I  must 
take  this  opportunity  of  expressing  my  gratitude  to  you 
for  the  magnanimous  manner  in  which  you  have  acted 
towards  me." 

Gallwood  smiled  again. 

"  Don't  mention  it,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  responded,  hastily, 
"pray  don't  mention  it." 

In  the  evening,  according  to  this  understanding,  Bullin- 
ger and  I  drove  to  the  capital.  Bullinger  was  very  much 
delighted  when  he  found  that  I  had  concluded  to  accept 
his  invitation.  During  the  drive  I  had  an  excellent  oppor- 
tunity to  become  better  acquainted  with  the  man,  an  oppor- 
tunity of  which  I  availed  myself  to  the  utmost.     He  gave 


CALLWOOD    SMILED    ACIAIN.  1 75 

me  to  understand,  without  directly  proclaiming  the  fact, 
that  he  was  in  entire  sympathy  with  the  views  of  Colonel 
Hurtheart  the  lecturer.  Of  course  I  was  very  guarded, 
not  afBrming  or  denying  my  own  position  in  the  matter, 
but  letting  it  be  known  that  whatever  my  own  views  might 
be,  I  was  tolerant  of  the  opinions  of  others.  I  preserved 
a  degree  of  reticence  in  all  our  conversation,  while  I 
endeavored  to  draw  Bullinger  out.  In  this  I  was  success- 
ful, and  by  the  time  we  reached  the  hall  where  the  lecture 
was  to  be  given  I  had  completely  acquired  his  confidence. 
As  a  contrast  to  the  report  of  the  ceremonials  of  the 
church  which  I  have,  perhaps  with  too  much  minuteness, 
set  down  in  the  preceding  pages,  1  venture  to  give  a 
synopsis  of  Mr.  Hurtheart's  address.  It  was  reported  at 
great  length  in  the  Free  Speech  the  next  day ;  but  the  con- 
densed account  which  I  read  in  the  Vanitus  will  be  suffi- 
cient, I  think,  for  the  general  reader.  Rather  than  give 
my  own  recollection  of  the  orator's  effort  I  reproduce  ver- 
batim what  the  Va?iitus  printed  : 

"INQUIRENDO'S  INFIDEL  ORATOR. 


HE    RIDICULES    MATHEMATICAL  CREEDS  AND    HIS    HEARERS 
ROAR    WITH    LAUGHTER    AND    DELIGHT. 


THE    POETRV    OF    BLASPHEMY. 


"  Hurtheart  says  that  all  the  churches  ami  all  the  tninis- 
ters  on  the  island  cannot  crush  him. 


"  Mr.  Hurtheart  appeared  last  evening  in  Bloughem  Mall 
before  a  somewhat  promiscuous  audience.  He  appears  to 
have  thriven  by  his  recent  tour  to  the  east  end,  for  his 


176  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

portly  appearance  certainly  indicated  prosperity.  His 
round  face  and  smooth  skull  fairly  shone  with  the  oil  of 
unspiritual  joy,  and  his  whole  appearance  was  redolent  of 
self-satisfaction.  His  appearance  on  the  platform  evoked 
considerable  applause,  on  the  subsidence  of  which  Mr. 
Hurtheart  began  his  address.  In  the  course  of  his  re- 
marks he  wagged  his  big  glossy  head,  and  snapped  his 
little  twinkling  eyes,  and  thumped  his  big  pussy  hand 
down  on  the  cushion  in  front  of  him  with  quite  as  much 
unction  as  if  he  had  not  been  employed  in  the  unholy 
work  to  which  he  devotes  himself.  As  usual,  the  gentle- 
man charged  a  round  sum  for  admission,  thereby  con- 
triving to  make  his  peculiar  views  profitable  as  well  as 
sensational. 

"  '  What  is  religion  ? '  the  gentleman  began  by  asking. 
He  paused  and  looked  around  the  hall.  One  or  two  snick- 
ered, but  no  one  responded. 

"  '  Do  you  give  it  up  .■* ' 

"  The  persons  who  had  snickered  before  now  snickered 
again,  and  it  was  evident  also  there  were  a  few  fresh  snick- 
ers. 

"  '  I  see  you  all  give  it  up,'  said  Hurtheart,  '  and  so  do  I, 
and  so  do  all  sensible  people  ;  but  if  you  go  to  the  par- 
sons and  ask  them  what  is  religion,  do  you  think  they  give 
it  up  ?  Not  much,  they  don't.  What  is  very  wonderful, 
they  have  all  got  a  different  answer.  Now  when  a  joker 
asks  a  conundrum  usually  there  is  only  one  answer;  but 
you  ask  a  Decimal  priest  what  is  religion  and  he  will  tell 
you  one  long  yarn  ;  you  ask  a  ISIultiplicr  and  he'll  tell  you 
another.  The  Adders  and  the  Reformed  Adders,  the 
Subtractors  and  the  Reformed  Subtractors,  and  so  on  to 
the  end  of  the  list,  they  have  all  got  a  yarn  to  tell  you. 

"  'If  this  was  really  a  joke  it  would  not  be  so  bad,  it 


GALLWOOD  SMILED  AGAIN. 


177 


would  only  be  foolishness  ;  but  these  people  are  all  in  seri- 
ous earnest.  I  don't  wonder  much  either  that  they  are 
so,  for  these  fellows  are  getting  salaries  for  telling  their 
different  yarns,  and  a  continuance  of  the  salaries  depends 
upon  their  being  able  to  convince  a  sufficient  number  of 
people  that  the  answer  they  give  is  the  true  answer.  Of 
course,  religion  does  do  some  good.  I  noticed  the  other 
day  that  a  man  was  knocked  down  and  beaten  in  the 
streets  of  this  city.  Some  one  said  that  the  man  who  was 
beaten  was  a  coward.  "  No,"  said  the  man,  "  I  am  not  a 
coward,  but  it's  against  the  rules  of  the  church  to  fight 
on  Thursdays  ;  "  so  you  see  religion  has  a  powerful  hold  on 
society  still.  I  suppose  this  same  man  wouldn't  eat 
parsnips  on  Thursday  either — unless .  he  was  almighty 
hungry.  (Laughter.)  Over  at  the  east  end — I  have  just 
come  from  there,  so  I  know — they  are  all  Adders,  and 
you  can  say  what  you  like  about  the  raft  and  the  written 
solution — it  isn't  blasphemy.  But  I  will  give  you  a  word 
of  warning  :  don't  say  anything  against  the  mental  solu- 
tion, for  that's  the  worst  kind  of  blasphemy.  In  order  to 
know  whether  you  are  a  blasphemer  or  not  you  must  first 
be  sure  what  department  you  are  in. 

"  •  Here  in  this  city  it  is  blasphemy  to  say  that  Mathemat- 
ics is  not  up  there  under  the  dome  of  the  cathedral,  hoisted 
up  out  of  the  way  to  keep  him  from  being  stolen,  or  per- 
haps from  running  off  and  getting  lost.  Imagine  the  prin- 
ciples of  Mathematics  getting  lost.  Now,  when  the  priests 
wish  to  get  a  little  Mathematics  they  lower  him  down  in 
the  raft  from  up  there  under  the  roof,  and  get  a  little  piece, 
and  then  they  hoist  him  back  again.  The  Decimals  and 
some  of  these  other  fellows  have — they  say  they  have, 
and  we  must  believe  them — actually  appropriated — mind, 
I  don't  say  stolen — pieces  of  Mathematics,  and  they  go 

13 


178  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

round  showing  their  breast-pins  or  their  rings  and  telling 
us  how  much  better  off  they  are  than  we,  for  they  have 
got  a  piece  of  the  true  raft.  And  they  put  a  little  glass 
around  it — why  ? — to  keep  Mathematics  from  rotting. 
(Great  laughter.) 

" '  The  church  does  nothing  for  the  island.  It  does 
nothing  for  j-ou.  It  does  nothing  for  me  ;  though  you 
may  well  believe  it  would  like  to.  It  would  like  to  drown 
me ;  that's  what  it  would  like  to  do  for  me,  if  it  could. 
(Renewed  laughter.) 

"  '  Let  me  read  you  what  the  Multipliers  say  they  believe 
— they  say  so,  mind  you,  and  I  am  complimentary  in  say- 
ing that  I  think  they  lie.  (Laughter.)  It  isn't  often  that 
one  gets  as  good  a.  chance  to  compliment  an  enemy.  I 
don't  myself  believe  there  is  a  Multiplier  in  all  the  island 
who  is  wicked  enough  actually  to  believe  this.  (Here 
Mr.  Hurtheart  read  in  full  the  Multipliers'  Confession  of 
Faith.)  What  do  you  call  such  stuff  ?  I  call  it  a  libel  on 
Mathematics.  The  Mathematicians  are  all  united  about 
one  thing,  apparently,  however  much  they  may  differ 
about  others.  This  thing  that  they  unite  upon  happens, 
curiously  enough,  to  be  by  far  the  most  ludicrous  and  im- 
probable of  all  their  fables.  They  tell  us  that  some  ages 
ago — they  do  not  even  pretend  to  guess  how  many — this 
island  was  a  desolate,  uninhabited  place,  and  that  by  the 
will  of  Mathematics  the  nine  digits  were  sent  hither  from 
Oversea;  that  something  happened — what  no  one  knows 
— that  put  the  digits  in  great  peril,  and  that  a  certain  in- 
dividual, having  some  kind  of  intimate  relationship  to 
Mathematics,  called  Numbers,  rescued  our  forefathers  on 
the  thing  they  call  the  raft,  and  which  it  is  pretended 
came  over  the  ocean.  This  absurd  story  is,  after  all,  the 
sole  basis  of  all  this  ridiculous  nunnmery  called  worship, 


GALLWOOD  SMILED  AGAIN.  1 79 

wlierein  Numbers  is  given  credit  for  what  is  in  its  very 
nature  an  impossibility.  I  have  gone  myself  to  the  ca- 
thedral and  asked  to  be  allowed  to  investigate  this  raft ; 
but  the  answer  they  make  is  about  in  substance  this  :  "  If 
you  don't  get  right  away  from  here  we'll  send  for  a  police- 
man and  have  you  locked  up."  "  But  I  only  want  to 
investigate,"  I  said.  "  We  shan't  let  you  investigate," 
they  answered.  "  Let  me  prove  that  the  raft  can  do  as  you 
say,"  I  said.  "  No,  you  can't  prove  it ;  you  must  believe  it 
because  we  say  so."  "  Isn't  that  pretty  hard  on  me  ?  "  I 
say.  "  It  is  the  will  of  Mathematics,"  they  answer.  And  I 
want  Mathematics  to  understand,  right  here  and  now,  that 
I  don't  believe  he  had  any  hand  in  getting  up  any  such 
absurdity.  I  don't  myself  believe  in  Mathematics ;  but  it 
is  just  possible  that  there  may  be  one,  and  if  so  I  want  it 
distinctly  understood  that  I  thought  him  a  good  deal  better 
than  the  Multipliers  do.  This  creed  of  the  Multipliers 
would  make  a  cheese  laugh,  and  shock  the  moral  sense 
of  an  isosceles  triangle.  The  Multipliers  say  that  I 
hurt  their  feelings  when  I  tell  them  that  there  is  no 
Undersea  ;  they  don't  seem  to  think  they  hurt  mine  when 
they  say  I  am  going  to  Undersea,  and  the  truth  is,  they 
don't.  I  believe  this — and  I  only  believe  it  because  I 
know  it,  not  because  some  one  has  told  me  it  is  in  the 
Arithmetic.  I  believe  that  there  is  nothing  beyond  ocean  ; 
nothing  at  all.  Beyond  the  island  it  is  all  ocean,  and  noth- 
ing but  ocean.  There  is  no  Oversea,  no  Undersea,  but 
just  ocean.  I  should  like  to  believe  otherwise  if  I  could, 
but  I  can't.  I  suppose  you  think  it  strange  that  I  should 
say  I  want  to  believe  ;  but  I  will  tell  you — it  will  take  but 
a  moment — why  I  wish  I  could  believe  in  Oversea.  When 
I  was  a  young  man,  and  that  is  now  years  ago,  I  lost  my 
mother,     If  ever  a  good  woman  lived  on   this  island   it 


l8o  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

was  she.  She  spent  her  life  going  about  doing  good. 
She  beUeved  in  Oversea,  and  expressed  herself  night  and 
morning  for  me  that  I  too  might  believe.  She  loved  me, 
and  I  loved  her.  She  died  and  was  buried,  and  in  her 
grave  in  the  sacred  solemn  ocean  our  love  lies  deep,  and 
dead  too,  forever.  With  her  last  lips  she  bade  me  seek 
her.  Her  last  look,  ere  in  the  dark  her  sweet  spirit  took 
its  eternal  leave  of  life,  was  bent  imploringly  upon  me. 
We  parted,  as  I  know,  forever ;  but  could  a  religion  be 
found  that  would  bring  me  to  her,  how  gladly  would  I 
believe  !  But  no  ;  I  stretch  out  my  arms  in  vain  towards 
the  infinite  and  the  lonely  powers  of  nature  ;  north,  and 
south,  and  east,  and  west  the  stormy  billows  beat  of  the 
dark  and  dread  expanse  whose  tempestuous  lashings 
touch  but  to  kill,  and  whose  farther  shores  are  lost  to 
mortal  vision  and  knowledge  in  the  fog  that  never  lifts, 
but  broods  perpetually  over  the  eternal  deep.' 

"  (There  was  a  sound  as  of  weeping  among  the  audi- 
ence. Like  a  flash  the  orator's  pathetic  mood  and  manner 
vanished,  a  smile  stole  over  his  rotund  countenance,  and 
in  a  jocular  tone  he  resumed.)  *  I  will  also  tell  you  why  I 
wish  I  could  believe  in  Undersea.  Two  nights  ago  I  was 
lecturing  in  this  very  hall,  and  while  I  was  here  in  this 
very  place,  guileless  as  a  lamb,  some  miscreant  came  in, 
went  to  the  cloak-room  where  I  had  left  them,  and  stole 
my  hat  and  cane.  It  is  not  likely  that  I  shall  ever  see 
that  hat  and  cane  again.  It  is  even  less  likely  that  I 
shall  ever  see  the  thief.  Now,  if  I  was  sure  there  was  an 
Undersea  there  might  be  just  a  bare  chance  that  my 
friend  the  thief  would  be  come  up  with ;  as  it  is,  alas !  I 
fear  he  has  got  the  best  of  me  to  all  eternity.'  " 

It  was  after  midnight  when  we  drove  through  the  great 


GALLWOOD  SMILED  AGAIN.  151 

iron  gates  into  the  court-yard  of  the  asylum  ;  those  same 
iron  gates  through  wliich,  in  charge  of  the  ofificers  of  the 
law,  I  had  been  driven,  despondent  and  wretched,  nearly 
three  months  before.  It  was  after  midnight,  but  there 
was  a  light  burning  in  Mr.  Gall  wood's  ofifice,  and  as  we 
drove  up  he  opened  the  door  and  came  out  to  us. 

"  Well,  gentlemen,"  he  said,  politely,  "  how  did  you 
enjoy  the  lecture  ?  " 

"  Wonderfully,"  answered  Bullinger,  "  I  was  charmed." 

"  And  you,  Mr.  Cliff  }  " 

"  I  was  pleased,  of  course,"  I  responded.  "  Who  could 
fail  to  be  otherwise  ?  Mr.  Huriheart  is  an  e.xcellent 
speaker,  tiuent,  witty,  and  effective." 

"  But  what  did  you  think  of  his  doctrines  .''  "  said  Gall- 
wood,  with  a  smile. 

"  As  to  his  doctrines,"  I  answered,  "  they  were,  it  ap- 
peared to  me,  in  the  main,  simple  negations  ;  but  he  made 
some  splendid  points,  and  stated  some  manifest  truths  in 
a  most  convincing  way." 

The  light  from  the  open  door  shone  full  upon  Gall- 
wood's  face.     As  I  bade  him  good-night  our  eyes  met. 

"  I  have  enjoyed  the  evening  exceedingly,"  I  said  ;  and 
without  responding,  Gallvvood  smiled  again. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

MY    FAITH-CURE. 

T  T  had  now  been  decided  that  BulHnger  and  I  should 
take  our  journey  together.  When  this  was  settled  I 
had  some  conversation  with  Gallwood  in  regard  to  my 
duties  towards  my  companion.  Gallwood  made  it  appear 
that  I  was  doing  the  cause  of  humanity  a  service  in  being 
willing  to  assist  in  restoring  the  patient  to  mental  health. 
He  was  exceedingly  complimentary  in  all  he  said,  and  his 
manner  emboldened  me  to  make  a  farther  request  to  be 
allowed  to  see  Mr.  Smalls. 

"  He  is  Oliver's  friend,"  I  said,  "  and  if  by  any  possibil- 
ity I  could  benefit  him,  I  should  think  myself  very  fortu- 
nate." 

Gallwood  rather  evaded  a  direct  answer. 

"  You  will  be  in  the  vicinity  of  Mr.  Mayland's  summer 
house,"  he  said,  "  in  a  day  or  two  ;  that  is,  if  you  take  the 
route  suggested  by  Bullinger :  the  line  of  the  third  depart- 
ment passes  within  a  stone's  throw  of  the  door  of  Lunatico 
Cottage  where  poor  Mr.  Smalls  now  lies.  You  may  have 
an  opportunity  of  communicating  with  Oliver  there.  If 
he  sanctions  an  interview  I  shall  offer  no  opposition." 

With  this  I  was  obliged  to  be  content,  and  the  next  day 
Bullinger  and  I  set  out,  with  the  same  team  of  steers  that 
I  had  previously  hired.  It  seemed  strange  to  me  to  be 
passing  over  the  road  (now  \  irtually  a  free  man)  over  which 
I  had  been  driven  in  such  hot  haste  on  the  first  day  of  my 

182 


MY    FAITH-CURE.  183 

sojourn  in  the  island.  It  was  all  one  to  Bullinger  which 
way  we  went,  or  how  fast  we  drove,  and  it  may  well  be 
imagined  that  I  did  not  delay.  We  reached  the  chief  town 
of  the  department  about  the  hour  that  in  Inquirendo  cor- 
responds to  our  two  o'clock.  As  it  happened  we  took  din- 
ner at  the  same  restaurant  at  which  I  had  procured  my 
first  meal.  The  keeper  did  not  recognize  me,  nor  after- 
wards, as  we  strolled  past  the  hat  store,  did  the  hatter  or 
his  assistant.  Before  we  started  again  on  our  journey  dil- 
igent inquiry  was  made  respecting  the  location  of  the  vil- 
lage, which  we  had  found,  by  a  map  at  the  asylum,  la}' not 
over  half  a  mile  or  so  from  Lunatico  Cottage.  We  reached 
this  village  about  sunset,  and  repairing  at  once  to  the  only 
inn  were  provided  with  tolerably  comfortable  quarters. 

We  had  our  supper,  and  then,  before  it  grew  dark, 
strolled  out  over  the  hills  in  the  direction  of  the  boundary 
line  between  the  two  departments.  After  the  heat  of 
the  day  the  evening  air  was  delicious.  The  country  was 
lovely  in  its  garb  of  verdure,  and  the  breeze  that  came  up 
from  the  sea  was  refreshing  in  the  extreme. 

The  path  which  we  had  been  directed  to  take  skirted 
the  edge  of  the  high  bank  overlooking  the  sea,  winding  in 
and  out,  up  and  down,  and  from  its  being  well  worn  we 
judged  it  to  be  much  frequented.  It  w-as  not  long  before 
we  came  in  sight  of  a  villa,  almost  on  the  verge  of  the  sea 
and  elevated  some  forty  feet  or  so  above  it.  My  heart 
beat  wildly,  throbbing  as  young  hearts  will,  under  the 
sweet  influence  of  its  nearness  to  the  beloved  one.  Under 
that  roof,  I  told  myself,  was  Margery.  \A'as  she  thinking 
of  me,  I  wondered  .''  Was  there  not  some  subtle  chain 
that  binds  two  loving  ones  so  that  she  might  be  aware  of 
my  coming  ?  It  was  while  occupied  with  these  medita- 
tions that  a  figure  was  observed  coming  from  the  direction 


184  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

of  the  villa.  It  was  now  fast  growing  dusky,  but  I  rec- 
ognized at  once  my  friend  Oliver. 

Bullinger  too  recognized  him,  and  as  we  had  now 
reached  a  stout  iron  fence  crossed  by  a  stile,  we  sat  down 
there  and  waited.  Oliver  soon  approached.  His  face 
wore  an  expression  of  care  and  anxiety,  but  he  welcomed 
us,  nevertheless,  with  much  joy.  He  explained  that  poor 
Mr.  Smalls  was  in  a  very  precarious  state,  and  was  not 
expected  to  survive  the  night. 

"Are  the  doctors  with  him  ?  "   asked  Bullinger. 

"Oh,  yes,  they  have  not  left  him,  day  nor  night,  since 
he  was  stricken  down.  I  am  on  my  way  now  to  the  village 
for  a  remedy  that  has  been  prescribed."  Oliver's  eyes 
were  full  of  tears  as  he  continued,  "Not  that  I"  have  any 
hope  that  it  will  restore  my  poor  friend,  but  only  that  it 
may  possibly  prolong  his  life,  and  assuage  the  pangs  of  his 
last  moments." 

"  Does  Mr.  Smalls  sulTer  much  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  No,"  Oliver  responded,  languidly,  "  it  is  only  a  grad- 
ual wasting  away  of  the  vital  powers." 

"What  is  this  remedy  that  you  are  about  procuring?" 
asked  Bullinger. 

"  It  is  a  preparation  called  sea-powder,"  replied  Oliver. 
"  I  am  told  that  the  scientific  name  for  it  is  sodide  of  chlo- 
rium.  It  has  been  prescribed  not  by  either  Dr.  Muir  or 
Dr.  Waltz,  but  by  the  young  physician  at  the  asylum,  who, 
it  seems,  is  a  relative  of  Mr.  Smalls.  He  was  sent  for 
yesterday,  and  only  arrived  this  afternoon  :  young  Dr. 
Humpath." 

"  Oh,  Dr.  Humpath  !  "  said  Bullinger.  "  I  know  him  in- 
timately. That  is  the  young  doctor  we  met  at  Mr.  Gall- 
wood's  the  other  evening,  Mr.  Cliff." 

"  He  has  a  wide  reputation,"   continued  Oliver,   "and 


MY    FAITH-CURE,  185 

seems  confident  that  he  may  be  able  to  effect  a  cure ,  but 
1  have  Uttle  faith  myself  in  his  ability  to  do  so.  His 
system  is  widely  at  variance  with  established  usages,  and 
the  other  physicians  are  greatly  incensed  at  his  having 
been  called  in." 

"  But  you  say  they  are  there  still  ?  "  said  BuUinger. 

"  Yes,  they  have  not  left  the  house  ;  but  they  have 
positively  refused  to  consult  with  Dr.  Humpath.  The  lat- 
ter, in  the  short  time  we  had  together,  told  me  that  his  sys- 
tem consisted  in  applying  what  he  termed  a  counter-actant. 
This  sodide  of  chlorium  is  obtained,  so  it  is  stated,  in  the 
form  of  a  white  powder  from  the  sea  itself.  It  is  only  ob- 
tained with  great  difficulty  and  much  risk  of  life  by  those 
who  make  a  living  by  procuring  it.  It  is  in  consequence 
very  expensive.  Taken  undiluted  it  is  a  deadly  poison  ; 
but  in  doses  of  one  grain  in  a  barrel,  and  one  drop  of  this 
solution  three  times  a  day,  it  is  said  by  Dr.  Humpath  to 
be  efficacious." 

"  What  do  the  other  doctors  say  respecting  this  mode 
of  treatment  ?  "  asked  BuUinger. 

"  They  ridicule  it ;  but  it  is  poor  Mrs.  Smalls'  desire 
that  no  means  shall  be  left  untried  to  save  her  boy.  The 
faith-cure  is  also  being  tried  ;  but,  alas !  ineffectually. 
Mr.  Nudwink  has  been  expressing  himself  since  the  dawn, 
and  poor  Mr.  Smalls  has  my  own  pin  with  a  piece  of  the 
true  raft  in  it  on  his  bosom." 

Oliver's  face  was  turned  towards  the  sea,  and  BuUinger 
gave  me  a  look  which  implied  the  strongest  possible  incre- 
dulity. 

We  went  on  for  a  time  in  silence  in  the  direction  of  the 
village.  I  strongly  desired  to  ask  about  Margery,  but  a 
sense  of  modesty  forbade.     At  last  Oliver  spoke  :  "  Would 


l86  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

you  like  to  see  the  spot  where  poor  Mr.  Smalls  met  his 
doom  ?  " 

Of  course  Bullinger  and  I  responded  in  the  affirmative, 
and  then,  going  a  little  off  the  path,  Oliver  pointed  down 
the  steep  declivity  to  the  sandy  beach  below,  over  which 
the  sea  calmly  rose  and  fell. 

"  There,"  said  Oliver,  almost  weeping,  "  he  was  walk- 
ing along  the  shore,  musing  on  the  mystery  that  lay  be- 
fore him,  and  taking  no  note  of  the  flight  of  time.  While 
so  engaged  the  winds  arose,  and  he,  poor  fellow,  was  wet 
through  almost  before  he  was  aware  of  his  peril." 

At  Oliver's  pathos  all  my  interest  revived  in  the  unfor- 
tunate Mr.  Smalls,  and  while  we  pursued  our  way  towards 
the  village  pharmacy,  I  asked  many  questions  as  to  the 
young  clergyman's  condition. 

"  It  is  beautiful  to  see  him,''  said  Oliver  :  "no  repining, 
no  murmurs;  all  peace,  content,  and  perfect  joy.  His 
reliance  upon  Numbers  and  the  merits  of  the  raft  is 
something  that  I  have  never  seen  equalled.  Mr.  Hum- 
path  is,  I  am  told,  an  unbeliever,  but  even  he  was 
softened." 

"  Can  nothing  be  done  to  save  him  ?  "  I  said. 

"  All  is  being  done  that  lies  in  the  power  of  mortal 
man,"  answered  Oliver. 

Then,  impressed  with  a  strong  sense  of  duty,  I  told  Oliver 
how  I  felt ;  that  I  was  assured  I  could  cure  Mr.  Smalls 
if  I  were  only  permitted  to  make  the  attempt.  I  was  ex- 
tremely guarded  in  all  I  said,  and  took  an  opportunity  to 
speak  when  Bullinger  had  gone  to  the  end  of  the  counter 
to  inspect  a  new  kind  of  rotatory  tooth-brush. 

At  first  Oliver  was  very  incredulous. 

"  What  objection  would  there  be  ?  "  I  asked,  anxiously. 

"I  don't  know  that  theie  v.ould  be  any  special  objec- 


MV    KAITH-CURE.  187 

lion,"  said  Oliver,  doublfuUy.  "  Mrs.  Smalls  would  try 
anything." 

"  Then  why  should  I  not  try  ? " 

"There  is  one  thing  you  appear  to  have  forgotten," 
said  Oliver.  "  Mr.  Mayland's  house  is  not  in  this  de- 
partment." 

"  What  difference  need  that  make  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  that  it  would  really  make  any.  That 
would  depend  upon  Mr.  Gall  wood." 

"  I  don't  think  he  would  object." 

"  If  you  choose  to  run  the  risk,"  said  Oliver,  "  I  will 
arrange  it." 

With  this,  of  course,  I  was  completely  satisfied.  Bul- 
linger  was  to  be  trusted,  I  knew,  and  having  his  promise 
of  secrecy,  and  with  the  understanding  that  I  was  to  be 
back  at  the  inn  before  midnight,  I  went  with  Oliver  across 
the  fields  to  the  Governor's  house. 

My  hope,  which  I  could  not  forbear  cherishing,  of  see- 
ing Margery  was  destined  to  be  realized.  In  fact,  she 
was  waiting,  being  anxious  in  respect  to  Mr.  Smalls,  at 
the  gate  when  Oliver  and  I  arrived  there.  At  first  she 
was  too  much  astonished  at  seeing  me  for  speech.  She 
stood  looking  at  me  with  mute  lips,  her  hands  clasped. 
I  saw  by  the  light  of  the  moon,  now  almost  at  the  full,  that 
she  was  ghastly  pale. 

In  few  words  Oliver  explained  how  it  was  that  I  was 
there. 

At  first  her  face  lighted  up,  but  then  the  shadows  fell, 
and  as  we  talked  there  by  the  wicket,  the  sun  and  shade 
of  happy  and  sad  emotions  succeeded  each  other  quickly 
over  that  soft  cheek. 

"  Your  coming  so,  dear  John,"  she  said,  in  a  low  whisper. 


l88  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

as  Oliver  went  on  into   the  house  to  prepare  Mr.  Smalls, 
•'  your  coming  thus,  I  fear,  will  lead  to  trouble." 

I  strove  to  comfort  her.  I  explained  that  Galhvood 
and  I  were  now  friends,  and  that  I  was  sure  that  now 
there  was  nothing  to  fear  from  him. 

Margery  seemed  incredulous. 

"  He  has  written  to  papa,"  she  said  ;  "he  has  written 
about  you  and  Mr.  Bullinger.     I  saw  the  letter." 

"  Surely,  then,  you  must  be  satisfied,  dearest." 

"There  was  nothing  wrong  about  the  letter,"  she  an- 
swered, "but  I  have  known  Roth  since  I  was  a  little  girl." 

"  And  do  you  not  believe  in  his  sincerity  ?  " 

Margery  shuddered. 

"  Mathematics  is  good,"  she  returned,  quickly  ;  "  my 
trust  is  all  in  him  ;  but  oh,  dear  John,  you  should  be  on 
your  guard.  No  one  ought  to  know  that  you  have  been 
here  to-night.     Oliver  can  be  trusted,  I  know." 

"  There  is  no  need  to  fear,  my  darling,"  I  said,  reassur- 
ingly.    As  I  spoke  I  kissed  her  fondly. 

She  returned  the  kiss  soberly.  "  Let  us  hope  for  the 
best,  John  :  but  are  you  sure  you  can  trust  Mr.  Bul- 
linger ?  " 

"  Implicitly,"  I  answered.  "  What  possible  motive 
would  he  have  to  mention  the  matter  ?  Besides,  is  it  such 
an  important  matter  that  I  have  crossed  by  a  few  yards 
the  line  of  the  department  ?  " 

"Oh,  yes,  if  it  were  known  it  might  be  important." 

"  Could  not  your  father  grant  permission  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  no,"  she  answered,  hurriedly  ;  "  papa  has  no 
authority  now.     It  is  all  in  the  hands  of  Roth  Galhvood." 

Her  earnest  manner,  almost  despairing,  puzzled  me. 
I  could  not  account  for  her  depression  ;  the  cause  seemed 
to  me  a  trivial  one,  and  inadequate. 


MY    FAITH-CURE.  1 89 

We  were  silent  for  a  time  as  I  stood  with  my  arm 
around  iier  in  the  deep  shadow  of  the  house,  now  and 
then  pressing  my  lips  to  hers.  She  did  not  resist  me,  and 
during  thai  brief  interview  my  bliss  was  almost  perfect. 

"  You  say  that  }ou  know  of  a  remed\',  dear  John,"  she 
said  at  last,  timidly  ,   *•  can  you  tell  me  what  it  is  ?  " 

I  longed  to  open  my  heart  to  my  betrothed,  but  then 
there  was  no  time.  Even  as  she  spoke  we  heard  the 
sound  of  Oliver's  footsteps  approaching. 

"  Another  time,"  I  said,  quickly — "  to-morrow." 

"But  not  here,"  she  exclaimed,  anxiously.  "Oh,  dear 
John,  do  not  trust  yourself  here  again.     I  am  so  worried." 

In  a  few  hurried  words,  as  Oliver  drew  near,  we  ar- 
ranged to  meet  on  the  following  day  on  the  pathway  to 
the  village  overlooking  the  sea. 

'*  Mr.  Smalls  will  see  you,"  said  Oliver,  coming  up.  "  He 
is  very  low,  but  I  have  prepared  him  for  your  interview." 

Oliver  was  now,  of  course,  aware  of  the  engagement  that 
existed  between  myself  and  Margery.  As  I  kissed  her 
good-night  without  reservation  he  could  hardly  have 
failed  to  perceive  that  we  were  not  wholly  indifferent  to 
each  other. 

"  So  you  disregarded  my  advice,"  he  said,  gloomily,  as 
we  mounted  the  broad  stairs. 

"  What  advice  ?  " 

"  In  respect  to  supplanting  Gall  wood." 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  could  you  think  that  I  should  not  have  done 
so  when  it  lay  in  my  power  ?  " 

"  I  sincerely  hope  that  you  will  not  regret  it,"  replied 
Oliver,  in  a  tone  of  depression. 

"  I  do  not  think  I  shall.  In  fact,  Gallwood  is  reconciled 
to  the  matter  fully.  We  have  spoken  frankly,  and  he  is 
reconciled." 


igo  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

There  was  no  opportunity  to  say  more,  for  we  had  now 
arrived  at  the  door  of  Mr.  Smalls'  apartment.  Oliver 
knocked  gently.  A  light  step  approached,  and  an  elderly 
lady,  clad  in  deep  black,  appeared.  Her  appearance  was 
dejected,  and  there  were  tears  in  her  eyes.  I  knew,  of 
course,  that  this  was  poor  Mr.  Smalls'  mother.  She  came 
out  into  the  hall,  closing  the  door  softly. 

"  This  is  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  Oliver. 

The  lady  gave  me  her  hand. 

"  My  son  is  expecting  you,"  she  said,  softly. 

*'  How  is  he,"  asked  Oliver,  "  since  he  took  the  drops  ? 
Is  there  any  sign  of  a  change  ?  " 

"  None  as  yet.  He  is  very  low  ;  but  is  now  anxiously 
waiting  for  Mr.  Cliff.  Oh,  tell  me,"  she  continued,  turn- 
ing to  me,  "  have  you  hope  }  My  poor  boy  is  all  I  have 
left  in  the  world.  Oh  !  if  you  restore  him  to  me  you  will 
earn  a  mother's  gratitude." 

"  If  your  son  will  but  consent  to  be  guided  by  me,"  I 
answered,  "  he  can  be  cured." 

"  You  propose  to  try  the  faith-cure  ?  "  she  said,  inquir- 
ingly. 

"  It  will  require  faith,"  I  answered. 

Mrs.  Smalls  sighed. 

"  Mr.  Nudwink  has  made  the  endeavor  already,"  she 
said,  despondently,  "  but  I  see  no  change." 

"  Shall  I  go  in  ?  " 

"  If  you  please.  I  suppose  you  wish  to  be  alone  with 
my  poor  boy  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  How  long  shall  you  be  ?  " 

"  That  I  cannot  tell.  I  shall  come  out  at  once  if  I  see 
that  I  have  convinced — I  mean  if  I  observe  a  change." 

"  Perhaps  I  had  better  go  in  with  you  for  a  moment," 


MY    FAITH-CURE.  I9I 

said  Mrs.  Smalls,  "  you  may  make  a  mistake  about  the 
bottles." 

♦'  Bottles  ?  " 

'•Yes,  the  oil  bottles.  I  have  been  very  particular  to 
procure  all  the  kinds.  Mr.  Nudwink  used  asparagus  oil 
at  first,  but  to-day  he  tried  peanut." 

Perhaps  my  face  showed  the  astonishment  that  I  felt. 

"  Oh !  we  have  provided  other  kinds,"  said  the  poor 
mother,  "  You  had  better  let  me  go  in  and  explain  to 
you," 

"  No,  I  do  not  think  that  will  be  necessary,"  I  an- 
swered.    "  I  should  rather  go  in  alone," 

"  The  bottles  are  all  labelled,"  said  Mrs.  Smalls.  "  If 
you  are  only  careful  there  will  be  no  difficulty ;  but  I 
know  in  the  faith-cure  it  is  so  important  to  have  the  right 
kind  of  oil." 

"I  think  Mr.  Cliff  understands  that,"  said  Oliver, 

"  Oh,  yes,"  I  said,  lugubriously  enough,  "  I  understand." 

"That  is  so  comforting,"  said  Mrs,  Smalls,  and  then 
she  opened  the  door  and  I  passed  in. 

Upon  the  bed  lay  Mr.  Smalls,  his  hands,  white  as  mar- 
ble, extended  on  the  coverlid.  His  eyes  opened  feebly, 
and  a  gentle  smile  stole  over  his  pale  features  as  I  ap- 
proached him.  He  made  an  effort  to  raise  his  hand  to 
meet  mine,  but  his  strength  was  not  suflficient, 

"  I  am  very  glad  to  .see  you,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said,  in  a 
low,  husky  voice.  "  I  hardly  expected  when  we  met  that 
when  next  I  saw  you  it  would  be  upon  my  ocean  bed." 

"  I  have  great  hopes  that  you  will  yet  recover,"  I  an- 
swered, sitting  down  beside  him. 

He  smiled  sadly. 

"  The  end  is  almost  here,"  he  said,  feebly.  "  I  regret 
to  go  for  my  mother's  sake  ;  but  my  trust  is  in  the  raft." 


192  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  I  have  come,  Mr.  Smalls,"  I  said,  earnestly,  "  to  try 
and  save  you.  I  am  confident,  if  you  will  only  have  faith 
in  what  I  shall  tell  you,  that  all  will  yet  be  well." 

"  I  have  faith,"  said  he.  "  I  need  hardly  assure  you 
that  my  faith  is  an  abiding  one.  By  the  way,  what  oil  do 
you  use  ?  " 

"Oil?" 

"  Yes.  Mr.  Nudwink  has  tried  both  asparagus  and 
peanut.     Do  you  make  use  of  either  ?  " 

"  No,  I  do  not ;  in  fact,  I—" 

"  My  mother  has  provided  an  extensive  assortment," 
he  continued ;  "  there  they  all  are  in  bottles  on  that 
shelf." 

I  looked  in  the  direction  in  which  his  eyes  roved.  The 
bottles  were  all  of  the  quart  size,  and  I  saw  on  each  a 
large  white  label :  catnip  oil,  asparagus  oil,  peanut  oil, 
corn  oil,  poppy  oil,  parsnip  oil,  worm  oil,  and  a  dozen 
more. 

"  I  am  all  sticky  now  with  the  peanut  oil,"  said  Mr. 
Smalls.  "  It  may  appear  irreverent,  but  I  have  little  faith 
in  either  the  oil  or  the  expression  of  a  slow  churchman. 
Oliver  tells  me  that  you  are  only  mixed  as  yet — " 

"  I  have  not  yet  been  cancelled,  it  is  true — " 

'•  Oh,  well,  that  is  not  essential.  Now,  not  to  take  up 
too  much  of  your  time,  may  I  trouble  you  to  begin  ? " 

"Mr.  Smalls,"  I  said,  solemnly,  "what  I  shall  have  10 
say  will  doubtless  be  a  very  great  surprise  to  you.  You 
must  prepare  yourself  for  a  statement  of  fact  from  me 
that  will  no  doubt  amaze  you  greatly  ;  but  I  assure  you 
that  nothing  more  than  faith  in  what  I  shall  tell  you  is  es- 
sential to  your  recovery." 

"  Then  you  use  no  oil  whatever  ? "  he  said,  opening  his 
eyes  very  wide. 


MV    FAITH-CUKK. 


193 


"  I  do  not." 

"  But  is  that  Arithmetical  ?  "  he  asked,  querulously.  "  I 
was  given  to  understand  thai  you  had  been  thoroughly 
mixed.     Oliver  assured  me  of  that." 

"If  you  will  only  listen,"  I  said,  "  and  believe,  your  re- 
covery is  assured  beyond  a  doubt." 

"  I  have  all  faith  in  the  raft,  and  in  Numbers,  and  in  the 
Arithmetic.  Anything  unarithmetical  would  be  wholly 
contrary  to  my  principles.  It  is  true  that  I  was  com- 
pletely soaked,  but  still  I  have  faith." 

"  How  long  were  you  exposed  to  the  ocean,  Mr. 
Smalls  ?  " 

"  Oh,  only  for  an  instant." 

"  Then  you  were  not  covered  with  the  sea  ?  " 

Mr.  Smalls  shuddered,  and  then  smiled  wearily.  "  Oh, 
no ;  if  that  had  been  the  case  I  never  should  have  sur- 
vived till  now.  No,  the  ocean  spray  dashed  over  me 
once  ;  but  that  was  enough.  The  doctors  say  that  is  al- 
most invariably  fatal." 

"The  doctors  are  all  simpletons,"  I  said,  indignantly. 
"  They  don't  know  what  they  are  talking  about.  A  lit- 
tle salt  water  won't  hurt  any  one." 

Mr.  Smalls  looked  at  me  in  amazement. 

"  The  fact  is,"  I  continued,  "  that  if  you  can  only  rid 
yourself  of  the  idea  that  there  is  any  real  danger  from  the 
mere  touch  of  sea  water,  your  health  will  come  back  to 
you  without  further  effort." 

He  still  looked  at  me  incredulously. 

"What  I  am  going  to  say,  Mr.  Smalls,  must  be  confi- 
dential." 

"  Certainly." 

"  Because  if  it  were  known  that  I  had  made  the  state- 
ments it  might  get  me  into  trouble." 
13 


1^4  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  I  understand.     You  may  trust  me." 

"  Mr.  Smalls,"  I  said,  eagerly,  leaning  forward  and  rais- 
ing my  finger  impressively,  "  your  illness  is  all  in  your 
imagination.  Many  a  time  I  have  gone  into  the  ocean, 
bathed  in  it  for  hours  at  a  time,  and  never  felt  the  slight- 
est ill  effect.  These  doctors  are  all  humbugs.  Rouse 
yourself.  Be  persuaded  that  all  you  have  to  do  is  to  dis- 
abuse your  mind  of  this  idea  that  the  mere  contact  with 
the  ocean  is  deadly,  and  from  that  moment  you  are  a  well 
man." 

There  was  a  peculiar  look  in  Mr.  Smalls'  eye. 

"  I  don't  doubt  your  good  intentions,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said 
feebly,  sighing,  "  but  I  was  under  the  impression  that  you 
had  recovered." 


CHAPTER  XX. 

HOW    WONDERFUL   ARE    LOVE's    SWEET    INFLUENCES. 

A  CCORDING  to  her  promise,  Margery  met  me  on  the 
■^  *■  path  by  the  sea  at  the  appointed  time. 

I  had  no  difficulty  in  persuading  Bullinger  that  we 
could  employ  our  time  to  good  advantage  for  a  few  days 
in  the  village.  He  readily  fell  into  my  views  in  this 
respect,  much  more  readily  than  I  had  anticipated,  for  he 
was  of  a  nervous,  restless  disposition,  ever  eager  to  be 
moving. 

My  mind  greatly  relieved  by  his  compliance,  I  went 
forth  to  meet  Margery,  feeling  that  in  her  sweet  society 
I  could  almost  wholly  forget  my  troubles. 

Together  we  sought  a  sheltered  nook  in  a  recess  of  the 
crags  that  hung  over  the  ocean,  which  now  lay  blue  and 
placid  before  us  as  far  as  the  eye  could  reach. 

How  sweet  it  is  to  have  the  bosom  made  a  heaven  by 
the  rainbow  smile  of  love.  How  glorious  is  youth  in  its 
first  passion.  How  lovely  all  the  landscape.  How  hope- 
ful the  future.  How  immeasurable  the  charm  of  the 
present.  In  the  sweet  mutual  delight  of  eye  to  eye,  and 
lip  to  lip,  and  heart  to  heart  responsive,  it  was  long  before 
we  began  to  think  and  forgot  to  dream. 

It  was  Margery  who  first  recalled  our  wandering  fan- 
cies. 

"  Mr.  Smalls  is  so  much  better  this  morning,"  she  said. 

My  heart  bounded. 

19s 


196  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Is  he  better  ?  Oh,  I  am  so  glad.  Did  Oliver  tell 
you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Oliver  and  his  mother." 

Was  it  possible,  I  thought,  that,  after  all,  I  had  con- 
vinced him,  notwithstanding  his  apparent  incredulity  ? 
But  if  so,  why  had  he  manifested  distress  after  my  nar- 
rative ?  Was  it  feigning  ?  Had  he  requested  me  to  leave 
him  that  he  might  meditate  upon  what  I  had  told  him  ? 
Certainly  his  words  and  manner  the  previous  evening 
had  not  been  such  as  to  inspire  me  with  any  confidence 
that  such  was  the  case. 

"  Tell  me  exactly  how  he  is,  Margery,"  I  said,  anx- 
iously.    "  Tell  me  exactly  what  it  is  that  you  were  told." 

Margery  blushed. 

"  They  were  all  very  glad  indeed  that  poor  Mr.  Smalls 
was  better  ;  but — but — " 

"  Is  it  any  secret  ?  " 

"  No,  no  secret,  John  ;  but,  I  think — I  am  almost  sure 
that  they  do  not  think  that  it  was  you  who  cured  him." 

"  Do  they  think  it  was  the  drops  ?  " 

"  Yes,  John,  they  think  it  was  the  drops." 

Margery  looked  very  sober  as  she  said  this;  perhaps 
she  thought  that  it  would  hurt  my  feelings  to  know  that 
my  own  efforts  had  been  ineffectual. 

"  Can  you  not  tell  me  exactly  what  occurred  ?  " 

"  Yes,"  she  responded,  hesitating,  "  I  could,  but — " 

"  I  wish  you  would." 

"  It  may  worry  you,  John." 

"  To  know  the  truth  ought  not  to  worry  any  one,"  I 
answered,  philosophically. 

"  But  yet,"  she  said,  archly,  and  with  perhaps  even  more 
philosophy  than  my  own,  "  it  is  more  often  die  truth  tha'. 
worries  us  than  that  which  is  false." 


love's  sweet  influences.  197 

"  At  any  rate,  tell  me,"  said  I. 

"  It  has  worried  me  too,  John,  a  little." 

"  That  is  quite  another  thing,"  I  said,  promptly.  "  If 
it  will  worry  you  to  tell  me,  I  ought  not  to  ask  it." 

"  I  am  only  worried  for  your  sake." 

"  For  my  sake  ?  " 

"  Yes,  lest  you  should  be  vexed." 

I  laughed,  not,  I  fear,  very  pleasantly.  "  I  am  used  to 
vexations  by  this  time,"  I  said.  "A  little  more  or  less 
vexation  can  do  me  no  especial  harm." 

"  Perhaps,  after  all,  you  ought  to  know,"  she  said,  very 
gravely.  "This  is  what  I  heard:  after  you  left  Mr. 
Smalls'  room,  he  sent  for  his  mother  and  Oliver  almost 
immediately.  They  found  him  sitting  up  in  bed.  He 
seemed  to  have  strangely  recovered  his  strength,  and 
what  was  more  strange,  he  was  laughing  immoderately." 

"  Laughing  .-*  " 

"Yes,  they  both  said  he  was  laughing  uncontrollably." 

"  Well,  what  did  he  say  >  " 

I  began  to  feel  some  anxiety. 

"  It  was  a  long  time  before  he  would  say  a  word  in  re- 
spect to  what  took  place  between  himself  and  you,  and 
when  he  did  speak  it  was  only  to  declare  that  what  had 
passed  was  altogether  confidential." 

I  drew  a  long  breath  of  relief.  I  felt  that  I  had,  per- 
haps, been  imprudent  in  my  frankness  ;  but,  after  all,  Mr. 
Smalls  had  respected  the  confidence  I  had  reposed  in  him. 

"Of  course,"  continued  Margery,  "his  mother  was  very 
much  delighted  at  finding  his  strength  so  much  greater, 
and  at  first  she  attributed  it  all  to  you  ;  but  this  morning 
she  told  me  that  her  son  had  convinced  her  that  it  was 
the  drops.  Dr.  Humpath  is  delighted.  He  says  that  it  is 
undoubtedly  the  drops." 


IC)8  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  And  is  he  really  so  much  better  ? " 

"  Yes,  he  is  sitting  up  this  morning.  When  I  left  the 
house  he  and  Oliver  were  out  on  the  balcony  under  the 
awning." 

"  Did  you  find  out  what  it  was  that  he  was  laughing 
at }  "  I  asked,  rather  dolorously. 

"  No,  he  would  not  speak  of  that ;  all  he  would  say  was 
that  what  you  had  told  him  was  so  comical." 

Margery  looked  at  me  in  a  peculiar  manner,  half  doubt- 
ful whether  to  weep  or  to  laugh.  I  confess  that  what  she 
said  caused  me  some  chagrin,  and  yet  I  certainly  had  no 
cause  to  anticipate  anything  but  chagrin,  and  perhaps  I 
ought  to  have  been  grateful  that  the  emotion  was  not  a 
more  serious  one. 

"  I  am  very  glad  he  is  better,"  I  said.  "  Whether  it 
was  the  drops  or  what  I  told  him,  I  am  very  glad  indeed 
that  he  is  better." 

Margery's  face  was  very  sober,  and  her  voice  low  and 
almost  trembling  as  she  said,  "  What  was  it  that  you  told 
him,  dear  John  ?  " 

I  hesitated — very  naturally  I  hesitated. 

"Will  you  not  tell  your  Margery,  John?"  she  asked, 
looking  up  pleadingly  in  my  face.  "  I  ought  to  know  ;  for 
your  good  I  ought  to  know." 

"  It  would  only  worry  you,  my  darling,"  I  said,  caress- 
ing her. 

"  Yet  ought  I  not  to  share  your  troubles  ?  Ought  you 
not  to  confide  them  all  to  me  ?  Why  should  it  worry  me 
to  hear  what  it  was  you  said  ?  Am  I  not  to  be  your  own, 
your  wife  ? " 

How  could  I  resist  such  pleading  ? 

"  Promise,  dearest,"  I  said,  earnestly,  "  promise,  what- 


Loves  sweet  influences.  199 

ever  it  may  be  that  I  shall  tell  you,  that  you  will  love  nie 
still—" 

"  Love  you  ?  "  she  interrupted,  passionately,  "  my  own, 
the  love  I  have  for  you  is  not  of  that  kind  which  departs. 
No,  now  and  ever  I  am  yours  till  the  ocean  rolls  above  us." 

"  Thank  God  !  "  I  exclaimed,  fervently. 

"  What  did  you  say  ?  "  she  asked,  "  I  did  not  understand 
what  it  was  you  said." 

"I  am  grateful,"  I  answered,  "grateful  to  that  good 
power  that  ever  keeps  those  who  are  faithful  in  his  keep- 
ing." 

"To  Mathematics,"  she  said,  dreamily,  "and  to  Num- 
bers." 

Was  it  wrong  that  I  responded,  "  Yes  "  ? 

Margery  looked  at  me  with  her  pleading,  eloquent  eyes, 
and  under  their  serene  influence  I  began  my  narration. 
Tt  is  not  needful  to  say  that  it  was  with  some  trepidation. 
I  can  hardly  define  the  feeling.  My  faith  in  Margery 
was,  in  some  sense,  akin  to  that  which  I  had  asked  of  Mr. 
Smalls  as  a  condition  for  bringing  him  back  to  health.  I 
trusted  and  confided  absolutely  and  fully  in  her.  I  held 
nothing  back  in  my  heart,  and  so  held  nothing  back  in 
giving  her  my  confidence. 

"  You  remember,  dearest,"  I  said,  "  that  when  I  was 
first  brought  to  the  asylum  my  •  malady  was  supposed 
to  be — " 

"  Why  refer  to  that  now,  John  ?  "  she  said,  earnestly, 
"why  distress  yourself  by  referring  to  that  unhappy  time? 
Is  it  not  enough  that  all  those  troubles  are  now  of  the 
past  ?  " 

"  No,  it  is  not  enough,"  I  answered,  gloomily,  "  for  in 
the  statement  of  what  has  gone  before  lies  the  confidence 
that  I  shall  give  to  you." 


200  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

She  folded  her  hands  before  her.  She  looked  out  wist- 
fully over  the  sea. 

"  I  shall  listen,  then,  John,"  she  said.  "  However  much 
it  may  pain  me,  I  shall  listen." 

"  My  trouble,"  I  continued,  "  was  supposed  to  be  a 
mania  of  a  very  peculiar  type  ;  not  only  was  I  seemingly 
oblivious  of  all  that  had  preceded  in  my  life,  but  certain 
remarkable  fancies  were  supposed  to  beset  me.  Among 
these—" 

*'  Supposed,  John  !  "  said  Margery,  questioningly. 

"  Supposed,"  I  replied,  "  that  is  the  right  word.  After 
all,  in  spite  of  what  has  passed,  and  in  spite  of  the 
misfortunes  that  beset  me  even  yet,  I  must  now  speak  the 
truth  to  you ;  to  you,  my  own  dearest  Margery,  as  I 
would  to  my  own  soul.  I  must  ask  of  you  a  belief  in  me, 
a  faith  in  me  that  true  love  should  not  withhold.  What  I 
shall  have  to  tell  you,  darling,  is  only  this  :  that  all  I  said 
then,  and  which  has  been  deemed  but  raving,  was  sober, 
serious  earnest.  Among  those  supposed  fancies  was  one 
statement  which  I  made,  coherently  enough,  but  which 
was  considered  too  marvellous  for  consideration,  to  the 
effect  that  I  had  come  to  this  island  from  another  country 
across  the  sea ;  a  country  vaster  by  far  than  this,  and  far 
more  wonderful,  a  land  of  which  Inquirendo  knew  nothing. 
No  one  believed  me,  and  I  was  hurried,  as  you  know, 
within  the  walls  of  the  asylum,  which,  dark  and  dismal  as 
it  was,  your  dear  self  made  glorious.  It  was  all  true, 
Margery,  all  true  ;  to  me  the  ocean  has  no  terror — often 
have  I  sailed  out  over  it ;  often  have  I  bathed  in  it,  floated 
upon  it,  and  breasted  its  waves,  not  fearing  them  ;  for  I 
had  power  over  them,  strong  to  destroy  as  they  were. 

"  I  came  from  no  part  of  this  island,  darling  :  my  home  is 
in  that  other  land,  which  I  have  had  to  deny.     To  secure 


LOVES    SWEET    INFLUENCES.  20I 


release  from  the  bonds  of  the  law  I  have  forced  myself  to 
pretend  to  be  that  which  1  am  not.  Until  last  night  i 
have  made  a  pretence  of  being  cured.  But  when  I  heard 
of  that  young  man,  lying  needlessly  at  the  point  of  death, 
I  could  refrain  no  longer ;  I  saw  his  poor  mother  grieving 
without  cause,  and  I  resolved  to  speak.  I  knew  that  the 
touch  of  the  salt  sea  spray  had  no  power  to  kill.  It  is 
true  that  the  ocean  does  destroy,  but  not  by  so  gentle  a 
touch.  It  was  to  give  him  that  knowledge,  that  faith — 
which  to  me  was  knowledge — that  I  spoke.  It  seems  that 
he  did  not  believe  me.  Ah,  Margery,  I  well  know  that  it 
is  a  strange,  an  incredible  story ;  but  it  is  true.  Inqui- 
rendo  is  not  the  only  country.  There  is  a  far  mightier, 
more  wonderful  one,  of  which  I  am  a  citizen.  I  came 
here  in  a  boat — something  like  the  raft  of  which  you 
know," 

As  I  said  these  words  I  looked  in  Margery's  eyes. 
She  sat  mute  and  motionless;  but  there  was  a  strange 
expression  on  her  lovely  face, 

"  It  is  hard  to  ask,  I  know  ;  but,  dearest,  can  you  not 
believe  me  ?  " 

As  I  spoke  I  took  both  Margery's  hands  in  mine  and 
looked  beseechingly  in  her  eyes.  The  lids  drooped,  her 
hands  grew  cold  in  my  tender  clasp,  the  rosy  light  had 
faded  from  her  face,  and  her  form  trembled, 

"  Is  it  too  much  to  ask,  darling,"  I  repeated,  "  that  you 
should  have  faith  in  me  ?  " 

Her  lips  moved,  she  trembled  violently.  "What  can  I 
say  ? "  she  faltered.  "  Oh,  John,  I  do  love  you  dearly,"  and 
then  with  sudden  impulse  she  threw  her  arms  about  me, 
and  with  her  head  upon  my  breast,  burst  into  an  agony  of 
tears. 

I  soothed  and  petted  her  ;  but  I  could  not  console. 


202  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"I  know  you  love  me,"  I  said,  whisperingly,  "I  know 
that,  dearest ;  but  does  not  perfect  love  cast  out  fear  ?  ' 

She  looked  up  now  into  my  eyes. 

"  Yes,  indeed,  John,  all  fear ;  though  all  the  island 
should  forsake  you,  yet  will  I  be  always  true." 

"Can  you  not  understand  what  I  have  told  you,  Mar- 
gery ? " 

*'  How  can  I  ? — oh,  dear  John,  how  can  I  ? " 

*'  Can  you  not  have  faith  in  me  ?  " 

"Yes,  indeed,  I  do  have  faith  in  you." 

"  Only  believe,"  I  said,  fervently,  "  only  believe  what  I 
have  told  you.     Can  you  not  do  that  ?  " 

"  Oh,  John,"  she  repeated,  almost  with  a  wail  of  anguish, 
"  how  can  I  ? — oh,  how  can  I  ?  " 

"  What  I  have  told  you  is  true,  Margery,"  I  said,  per- 
haps a  little  reproachfully.  "You  cannot  think  that  I 
would  deceive  you  ?  " 

"  Oh,  no,  I  do  not  think  that,"  she  cried  ;  "  I  do  trust 
you  as  much  as  I  love  you." 

"  Then  why — " 

She  interrupted  me  with  passionate  caresses,  showering 
kisses  upon  my  lips;  but  the  tears,  meanwhile,  still 
streamed  down  her  pallid  cheeks,  and  her  form  shook 
with  the  most  intense  emotion. 

"  Spare  me,  John,"  she  cried,  "  oh,  spare  me.  Do  not, 
for  my  sake,  speak  again  ta  living  soul  of  these  things. 
Trust  me  and  I  will  trust  you  ;  but,  oh,  speak  not  again  of 
those  awful  mysteries.  Oh,  for  my  sake,  John,  for  dear 
Margery's  sake,  never  let  such  words  cross  your  lips 
again." 

She  looked  at  me  more  appealingly.  "  Promise  me, 
dear,  promise  your  Margery,  won't  you?" 

Such   was   her  earnestness   and  fervor  that  I  knew  be- 


love's  sweet  influences.  203 

yond  all  doubt  that  I  had  failed  in  establishing  in  my 
dear  girl's  mind  faith  in  the  facts  which  I  had  told  her; 
yet  even  as  I  was  aware  of  my  utter  failure,  I  felt  an  ex- 
ultant glow  warm  my  very  soul  as  I  felt  the  profound 
assurance  of  the  heigiit  and  depth  and  vastness  of  her 
love,  of  the  love  that  had  been  able  to  overcome  all  doubt 
of  me.  In  refusing  credence  to  my  story  it  was  not  I  that 
she  scorned  ;  still  she  believed  in  me,  and  the  bonds  of 
the  love-tie  between  us  were  not  only  unbroken,  but  in 
the  very  honesty  of  her  nature  that  revolted  from  the  un- 
known,  and  from  that  which  appeared  incredible,  were  in 
that  hour  knit  more  closely.  Out  of  very  doubt  and  dis- 
trust of  a  fact,  faith  in  me  was  shown  to  be  the  firmer. 

Oh,  love,  how  wonderful  are  thy  sweet  influences,  thy 
chain  how  strong  !  I  looked  down  upon  my  darling,  lying 
upon  my  breast,  all  faithfulness,  asking  of  me  but  one 
thing :  that  I  should  thenceforth  be  silent  as  to  the  truth. 
What  else  could  I  do  but  give  her  the  assurance  that  she 
asked,  "From  this  hour,  Margery,"  I  said,  "until  you 
release  me,  no  word  of  what  I  have  told  you  shall  ever 
pass  my  lips.'' 

How  rejoiced  she  was.  How  she  thanked  me,  saying 
that  she  did  believe  me  with  all  her  soul ;  but  that  I  must 
forgive  her,  if  she  could  not  understand. 

When,  awhile  afterward,  I  was  alone,  I  thought  earn- 
estly of  the  meaning  of  her  words,  and,  more  than  that, 
of  the  meaning  of  her  glorious  love,  that  had  been  able  to 
disregard  every  worldly  thought. 

And,  pondering  still  over  the  circumstances  of  my  for- 
lorn condition,  there  seemed  to  come  a  voice  out  of  the 
blue  heavens  above  me,  whispering  a  sweet  lesson  of 
faith. 

How  often,  in  my  own  city,  I  had  thoughtlessly  listened 


204  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

to  service  and  sermon.  How  it  had  all  failed  to  impress 
me.  How  I  had  more  than  once  turned  away  from  theol- 
ogy, and  sought  rest,  and  yet  not  finding  it,  in  philosophy. 
Here  at  last,  in  this  peculiar  country,  by  the  touch  of  a 
woman's  hand,  by  a  whisper  from  her  sweet  lips,  and  by 
the  light  of  her  eyes,  I  learned  a  new  lesson,  for,  even  in 
the  very  denying  of  my  story,  she  had  accepted  me. 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

THE    SCIENCE    OF    NUMBERS. 

A  FTER  our  supper  in  the  evening  Bullinger  and  I 
■^*-  had  a  confidential  talk.  1  had  learned  to  like 
him  exceedingly.  Even  in  the  short  period  of  our  in- 
timacy, he  had  shown  himself  to  be  gentlemanly,  quiet, 
and  retiring  ;  not  at  all  prone  to  insist  upon  his  own  views, 
and  courteous  in  being  willing  to  accord  due  deference  to 
those  of  others.  From  one  thing  to  another,  our  conver- 
sation came  gradually  around  to  the  subject  of  Mr. 
Smalls'  illness,  and  Bullinger  expressed  himself  as  having 
no  confidence  whatever  in  the  faith-cure. 

"Of  course  I  tell  you  this,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said,  smiling, 
"  with  due  deference  to  your  own  opinion  in  the  matter ; 
but  I  should  like  to  know,  as  I  have  found  you  something 
of  a  philosopher,  on  what  basis  you  rest  your  hope  of 
having  cured  Mr.  Smalls." 

I  hesitated  before  replying.  Mr.  Bullinger  had  certainly 
been  very  frank  indeed  with  me,  and  yet  I  felt  that  I 
must  use  caution.  If  my  own  Margery  could  not  be  per- 
suaded, I  knew  well  enough  how  useless  it  would  be  to  at- 
tempt to  convince  even  a  man  of  scientific  habits  of 
thought. 

"  Suppose,"  I  replied,  evading  a  full  answer,  "  suppose 
that  you  were  suffering  from  a  nervous  disorder  that  had 
in  it,  in  reality,  no  element  of  danger,  do  you  not  think 
the  statement  of  a  physician  that  you  were  likely  to  die 
might  have  a  very  deleterious  effect  upon  your  system  ?  " 

205 


2o6  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

•'  Undoubtedly." 

"  It  might  even  kill  you,  if  you  were  told  that  you  were 
doomed,  even  if  otherwise  you  were  in  no  immediate 
danger  ?  " 

"  Possibly." 

"  Then,  if  a  disastrous  effect  could  be  produced  by  faith 
in  bad  news,  why  could  not  a  beneficial  effect  be  produced 
by  good  news  ?  " 

"  It  might ;  very  likely  it  would.  I  never  thought  of  the 
faith-cure  in  that  light  before." 

"  No,  I  presume  not ;  but  here  is  something  analogous 
to  the  recent  operation  of  Dr.  Humpath." 

"  I  catch  your  meaning  ;  but  how  about  the  oil  ?  " 

I  then  explained  to  BuUinger  that  the  use  of  oil  formed 
no  part  of  my  cure. 

"  I  never  thought  of  it  in  that  light  before,"  Bullinger 
repeated,  "  but  when  I  think  it  over,  there  does  appear  to 
be  really  something  in  it.  I  remember  that  there  was  an 
experiment  made  in  this  same  direction  by  Dr.  Humpath, 
in  the  hospital  at  the  prison.  He  sent  word  to  all  the 
patients  that  he  would  administer  a  very  powerful  emetic, 
and  he  then  gave  them  each  a  powder  that  consisted  of 
harmless  fiour  and  sugar.  The  result  was,  that  one 
hundred  and  four  out  of  one  hundred  and  ten  were 
deathly  sick,  and  of  the  remaining  six,  five  were  badly 
nauseated.  The  only  one  who  was  not  affected  was  a 
stubborn  fellow,  who  always  wanted  more  than  his  share 
of  everything,  and  who  got  hold  of  a  double  dose." 

"That  showed  the  power  of  mind  over  matter." 

"  Certainly." 

"Then,"  said  I,  "you  can  see  my  point.  If  I  could 
only  convince  Mr.  Smalls  that  he  was  really  in  no  danger, 
he  would  be  likely  to  recover,  would  he  not  ?  " 


THE    SCIENCE    OF    NUMBERS.  20/ 

"  Of  course  ;  but  your  difficulty  would  be  in  this  case — 
and  doubtless  was,  if  you  will  pardon  my  apparent  incre- 
dulity— to  convince  him.  I  should  very  much  like  to  know 
how  the  attempt  was  made.  Anything  you  may  say  to  me, 
I,  of  course,  regard  as  strictly  confidential." 

"  The  course  I  took  was  perfectly  simple,  although,  per- 
haps, in  this  case,  inetifectual.  I  strove  to  persuade  him 
that  there  was  no  actual  fatality  in  the  touch  of  the 
spray." 

"Ah,  Mr.  Cliff,  I  fear  you  found  that  impossible." 
"  I  must  confess  that  he  seemed  incredulous." 
"  And  why  not  ?     Is   anything  better  established  than 
that  the   least  touch  is  serious,  and  to  be  wet  through  as 
he  was  is  almost  certain  death  .''  " 

"It  is  all  a  mistake,"  I  said,  emphatically. 
"What  is  a  mistake.'" 
"That  the  sea  is  so  noxious." 

"Well,  Mr.  Clifif,"  said  Bullinger,  laughingly,  "  you  are 
a  very    droll  fellow.     Did  you  talk    as  earnestly  to  Mr. 
Smalls  as  you  are  now  talking  to  me  ?  " 
"  Certainly  ;  even  more  so." 

"  Then  I  wonder  somewhat  that  he  did  not  feel  like 
believing  you  ;  I  do,  indeed." 

"  But  it  is  true ;  I  can  convince  you  of  it.  As  a  phi- 
losopher you  ought  to  be  willing  to  make  an  experiment. 
Come,  it  is  bright  moonlight ;  the  sea  is  less  than  a  mile 
away;  let  us  go  down  to  the  shore.  I  will  take  along  a 
couple  of  towels.  You  can  stand  on  the  shore,  out  of 
reach  of  danger,  and  I  will  go  in  up  to  my  neck." 

I  looked  at  Bullinger  very  seriously  when  I  made  this 
proposition.  All  the  answer  he  made  was  to  lean  back  in 
his  chair  against  the  wall  and  give  way  to  a  hearty  .burst 
of  laughter. 


2o8  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Capital,  capital !  "  he  exclaimed,  clapping  his  hands, 
'you  can  counterfeit  seriousness  better  than  any  man  I 
ever  met  in  my  life.  Come  to  think  of  it,  I  do  believe  it 
was  you  cured  him,  after  all." 

"  Do  you  ?  "  I  asked,  eagerly. 

"  Yes,  I  do ,  upon  my  word  I  do.  You  talked  as  if  you 
were  actually  in  earnest.  Suppose  I  had  taken  you  seri- 
ously, and  gone  with  you  as  you  proposed,  what  would 
have  been  the  result  ?  " 

"  The  result  would  have  been  as  I  said.  I  should  have 
demonstrated  to  your  satisfaction  that  the  sea  had  no 
power  to  harm  me  by  its  touch." 

"  Well,  Mr.  Cliff,  you  are  droll.  Positively,  you  ought 
to  be  upon  the  stage.  I  haven't  enjoyed  a  joke  so  in  years. 
No  wonder  Mr.  Smalls  is  better.  Oh,  I  am  a  convert  to 
your  views.  I  don't  believe  in  Dr.  Muir,  nor  Dr.  Waltz, 
nor  Humpath,  either ;  and  as  for  Nudvvink,  he  is  an  old 
idiot ;  but  if  there's  any  virtue  in  a  good  hearty  laugh, 
that  story  of  yours  ought  to  cure  a  dead  man.  Did 
Smalls  laugh  at  you  ?  " 

"  Not  while  I  was  in  the  room,"  I  answered,  rather 
chagrined,  "  but  I  am  told  he  did  afterwards." 

Bullinger  went  off  into  another  explosion  of  merriment. 

"  No  wonder,  Mr.  Cliff,  no  wonder.  Oh,  I  give  you  all 
the  credit  now.     You  saved  him." 

"  But,"  said  I,  "  joking  apart ;  suppose  some  inhabitant 
of  another  place  than  this,  who  knew  things  to  be  fact 
which  we  common  mortals  regard  as  only  fancy  and  fool- 
ishness ;  suppose  he  should  come  and  enlighten  us,  ought 
we  not  to  believe  him  ? " 

"  On  the  supposition  that  there  exists  any  other  race 
than,  our  own,  I  should  say,  undoubtedly,  yes  ;  but  as  there 
happens  to  be  no  other  race,  and  the  evidence  is  positive 


THE    SCIENCE   OF    NUMBERS.  209 

that  this  island  is  all  there  is  to  the  universe,  such  specu- 
lations appear  to  me  to  be  quite  profitless," 

"  Then  you  are  of  the  same  opinion  respecting  all  these 
things  as  the  lecturer  that  we  heard  at  the  capital  ? " 

"  Oh,  yes ;  no  sensible  man  could  hold  a  contrary  opin- 
ion." 

"  And  you  do  not  believe  there  is  any  such  thing  as  re- 
ligion ?  " 

"  All  mere  foolishness." 

"  But  even  Mr.  Hurtheart  himself  said  that  it  would 
gladden  him  to  really  know  that  there  was  a  true  religion. 
Would  it  not  you  also  ?  " 

"  That  is  mere  idle  speculation.  I  thought  he  marred 
the  effect  of  his  lecture  by  introducing  that  absurd  hy- 
pothesis." 

"  Do  you  not  believe  in  Mathematics?" 

"  Just  as  far  as  Hurtheart  believes,  no  further." 

"  And  of  course  you  do  not  believe  in  the  Arithmetic  ? " 

Bullinger  smiled.  "  There  is  one  on  the  table  by  you, 
Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said  ;  "  run  your  eye  over  it  and  see  if  there 
is  anything  in  it  worthy  of  being  believed." 

I  took  up  the  Arithmetic. 

"  Suppose,"  I  said,  "  for  the  sake  of  argument,  that 
this  superior  person  came,  and  taking  this  book  was  able 
to  show  conclusively  to  a  philosopher  like  yourself  that 
there  was  really  merit  in  it,  merit  of  a  different  kind,  per- 
haps, from  what  you  expected  to  find,  but  still  undeniable 
merit ;  in  that  case  you  would  be  compelled  to  believe, 
would  you  not  ?  " 

"  If  it  amuses  you  to  make  that  supposition,  Mr.  Cliff, 
I  see  no  objection." 

"  But  what  is  your  answer?" 
14 


2IO  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  I  suppose  I  should  believe  anything  that  could  be 
proved.     I  certainly  shall  believe  in  nothing  else." 

"  Now  let  us  take  a  look  at  this  Arithmetic,"  I  said, 
opening  the  volume  at  the  first  page.  "  I  am  of  the  opin- 
ion that  there  is,  after  all,  something  valuable  in  it.  Im- 
agine that  I  make  a  pretence  of  being  that  superior  per- 
son, and  in  that  capacity  am  making  the  endeavor  to 
demonstrate  my  views." 

"  All  right,"  said  Bullinger  ;  "  you  are  certainly  exceed- 
ingly amusing." 

"  In  the  first  place,"  said  I,  '*  what  does  the  Arithmetic 
say  of  itself  ? — that  it  is  the  science  of  Numbers  ?  " 

*'  I  am  sick  of  hearing  about  Numbers,"  said  Bullin- 
ger— "  just  sick.  Well,  what  next  does  it  say,  anything 
about  the  raft  ?  " 

"  Not  as  I  see." 

"  No,  it  doesn't ;  that's  in  the  Commentary,  but  the  par- 
sons all  say  they  find  it  in  the  Arithmetic." 

"  No,  there  is  nothing  about  the  raft  in  it,  that  is  very 
positive." 

"  That's  what  I  said  ;  anyway,  all  it  does  say  is  trash," 

"  Are  you  very  sure,"  I  asked,  seriously,  "  that  you 
thoroughly  understand  what  is  said  }  " 

"  I  ought  to,"  responded  Bullinger,  with  a  little  sarcas- 
tic emphasis,  "  I  have  been  over  the  Four  Ground  Rules 
till  I  know  them  almost  by  heart." 

"  Recently  ? " 

He  looked  at  me  to  see  if  I  had  taken  my  turn  in  being 
sarcastic.  As  I  had,  indeed,  I  could  not  keep  my  face 
straight. 

"  I  don't  wonder  you  laugh,"  said  Bullinger.  "  No,  not 
very  recently.  I  referred  to  the  time  when  I  was  a  boy. 
I  did,  however,  read  the  whole  book  over  after  I  heard 


THE    SCIENCE    OF    NUMBERS.  21  t 

Hurtl-ysart  the  first  time,  just  to  enjoy  the  good  points  he 
made." 

"  And  did  you  enjoy  them  ?  " 

"  Yes,  indeed  I  did  ;  they  were  excellent." 

"  Tel!  me  some  of  them  ?  " 

"  About  that  very  science  of  Numbers.  Now  what 
could  be  more  utterly  absurd  than  that  ?  The  word  sci- 
ence means  truth  known.  How  then  can  it  be  applied  to 
that  which  is  utterly  unknown.  Numbers,  the  parsons 
tell  us,  was  an  individual  who  got  shoved  ofif  a  thing 
called  a  raft,  and  by  that  means  saved  all  our  lives,  or  will 
save  them,  or  can  save  them,  or  something,  no  one  really 
knows  what.  Here  the  Arithmetic  starts  out  by  a  mani- 
fest absurdity :  it  says  it  is  the  known  truth  of  an  un- 
known thing.  I  leave  it  to  you,  Mr.  Cliff,  if  that  wasn't 
an  excellent  point  ?  " 

'*  Hurtheart  may  be  very  witty,"  I  replied,  "  and  I  have 
no  doubt  he  is  an  exceedingly  able  man  ;  but  let  us  see 
how  accurate  he  is." 

"  Agreed,"  said  Bullinger,  promptly  ;  "  apply  any  test 
you  like.     If  the  Arithmetic  can  stand  it  Hurtheart  can." 

"  In  the  first  place,  in  this  book  Numbers  doesn't  mean 
a  man — " 

"That's  exactly  what  the  parsons  say,"  interrupted 
Bullinger.  "They  say  he  was  a  man  and  yet  wasn't,  but 
had  some  relation  to  Mathematics  ,  all  of  which  is  ab- 
surd. He  either  was  a  man  or  he  wasn't  a  man  ;  that's 
common  sense — that's  nature." 

"  I  said  in  this  book  Numbers  isn't  a  man,  and  when  it 
talks  about  the  science  of  numbers  it  means  the  princi- 
ples of  computing  one,  two,  three,  and  so  on." 

"  That's  figures,"  said  Bullinger,  ironically,  "  not  num- 
bers." 


212  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  But  in  this  case  the  two  mean  the  same  thing." 

"Oh,  come,  Mr.  Cliff,  that's  bosh." 

"A  unit,"  said  I,  quoting,  "  is  one  thing  of  a  kind." 

"  Well,  can  your  superior  person  that  you  talk  about  ex- 
plain that  ?  " 

"  Easily." 

"  How  ? " 

"  A  unit  is  one  thing ;  as  one  dog,  one  stone." 

Bullinger  smiled  cynically. 

"  All  the  commentators  explain  that  as  :  *  one  of  a  kind 
disposition.'  And  it  appears  to  me  that  this  reading  is 
reasonable." 

"  My  experience  is,"  said  I,  a  little  impatiently,  *'  that 
there  are  plenty  of  reasonable  things  in  the  wrong  place, 
and  so  are  only  foolishness.     This  is  one  of  them." 

*'  But  the  commentators  ?  " 

"The  commentators  are  all  wrong." 

Bullinger  shrugged  his  shoulders. 

"  Go  on,"  said  he,  "go  on  to  the  next  verse." 

"  A  number,"  said  T,  reading,  "  is  a  unit  or  a  collection 
of  units." 

"  Well,"  said  Bullinger,  "  what  does  the  superior  person 
say  to  that  ?  " 

I  explained.  Bullinger  listened,  with  an  attempt  at  po- 
liteness. My  explanation  appeared  to  me  to  be  perfectly 
logical,  and  I  was  also  of  the  opinion  that  it  ought  to  have 
been  to  my  friend.     Still  it  did  not  appear  to  be. 

"  A  number,"  said  he,  in  that  provoking  tone  of  self- 
satisfaction  that  grates  so  upon  a  logical  person's  mind 
when  an  ignoramus  pretends  to  knowledge,  "  a  number 
stands  midway  in  point  of  holiness — at  least,  this  is  the 
church's  account  of  the  matter — between  a  unit  and  an 
integer.     A  number  is  one  who  is    in   doubt — not  quite 


thp:  science  of  numbers.  213 

convinced,  but  wlio  is  willing  to  be  employed  about  church 
work  ;  as,  for  instance,  as  noted  in  that  verse." 

"  How  ?  " 

"  In  taking  up  a  collection — " 

I  could  not  help  laughing. 

**  That  appears  to  me  to  be  perfectly  ridiculous," 

"  So  it  does  to  me,"  exclaimed  Bullinger,  "the  whole 
thing  appears  absurd  to  me.  The  trouble  with  you  is,  Mr. 
Cliff,  that  you  do  not  understand  these  things  as  I  do.  I 
have  been  through  this  whole  subject,  made  a  study  of  it  in 
fact,  and  I  tell  you  as  the  result  of  my  experience  that  it 
is  all  the  merest  nonsense.  What  is  the  use  of  trjnng  to 
prove  a  thing  that  can't  be  proved  ?  That  whole  book  from 
beginning  to  end  is  nothing  but  trash." 

"  But  I  want  to  show  you  that  there  really  is  something 
in  it — something  worth  studying." 

"  I  am  afraid  you  will  fail.  The  parsons  have  been 
trying  to  convince  me  for  years,  and  they  haven't  done  it 
yet." 

"But  don't  you  see  that  this  book,  after  all,  is  scientific 
in  its  nature  .''  " 

"  No,  I  do  not,"  answered  Bullinger,  rather  shortly. 

"Let  me  call  your  attention  to  this  verse,"  said  I,  turn- 
ing over  the  page.  "  In  the  mental  solution  the  succes- 
sive steps  are  determined  mentally — " 

"Ph,  do  spare  me,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  he,  energetically, 
"  what  is  the  use  of  going  over  and  over  the  same  old  ar- 
guments. I  have  heard  them  till  I  am  worn  out  with 
them.  I  suppose  you  will  be  saying  next  that  there  is  vir- 
tue in  the  written  solution  as  well — " 

"  Indeed  there  is — " 

"  Well,  all  I  have  got  to  say  is,  I  do  not  believe  it." 

"Not  only  virtue,  but  the  utmost  science,"  I  continued- 


214  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  If  you  would  only  disembarrass  your  mind  of  all  precon- 
ceived opinions  the  matter  would  become  clear." 

"  Mr.  ClifT,"  said  BuUinger,  "  I  see  very  plainly  the  tend- 
ency of  your  mind  ;  you  have  good  parts,  but  what  you 
lack  is  experience.  Now  if  there  is  one  strong  point  that 
I  possess  it  is  this  very  one  that  you  have  mentioned  :  the 
faculty  of  divesting  myself  of  all  prejudice.  I  make  it  a 
rigid  rule  to  believe  nothing  that  cannot  be  proved." 

"That  is  the  very  point.  I  wish  to  prove  to  you  that  in 
this  Arithmetic  is  something  of  real  value — " 

"Oh,  I  am  willing  to  admit  that,"  he  answered,  quickly, 
and  with  a  patronizing  air,  "  I  admit  that,  cheerfully.  It 
is  better  to  be  a  unit  than  a  cipher." 

"  Of  course  it  is,"  I  said,  hastily,  "  it  is  better  to  be 
something  than  nothing." 

"  Ah,  now  you  are  getting  beyond  your  depth." 

"  Indeed  I  am  not.     I  only  want  to  explain." 

"Go  on  then,"  said  Bullinger,  wearil3\ 

"  Here  in  the  Arithmetic,"  I  went  on,  being  now  rather 
on  my  metal  to  overcome  the  man's  obstinacy,  "  it  speaks 
of  nine  characters  called  significant — " 

"Of  course,  the  digits." 

"And  it  also  speaks  of  naught  or  cipher." 

"Yes;  as  the  parsons  say,  the  unconverted — " 

"  Not  at  all.  Pardon  me  for  being  so  persistent,  but  I 
wish  you  to  divest  yourself  of  the  idea  that  this  is  an  ethi- 
cal work,  so  called,  and  simply  regard  it  as  scientific." 

"  Isn't  that  asking  rather  too  much  ?  " 

"  No,  it  is  never  asking  too  much  that  one  should  be- 
lieve a  simple  truth,  although  I  admit  that  it  is  these  same 
simple  truths  that  are  sometimes  the  most  difficult  to  un- 
derstand," 


THE   SCIENCE   OF    NUMBERS.  ^Ig 

"  Well,  what  have  you  to  say  respecting  the  digits  and 
the  cipher  ?  " 

"  Only  this,  that  a  cipher  has  a  value." 

"  A  cipher  a  value  ?  "  exclaimed  BuUinger,  amazed. 

"  Not  by  itself—" 

"  Oh!" 

"  But  dependent  upon  its  place — " 

"  Why,  its  place   is   undersea,  or   hell,   as    the   vulgar 

say — " 

"But,"  said  I,  a  little  impatiently,  "  this  is  no  ethical 
question.  This  whole  book  is  only  a  scientific  work 
about  figures — " 

"  Oh,  that  I  can't  believe." 

"  Why  not  ?— can't  you  see  ?  " 

"No,  I  can't.  Why  should  one  trouble  one's  mind 
about  such  abstractions  when  so  many  weightier  matters 
claim  attention  ?  " 

"  But  can  you  not  see  ?  Here,  let  me  show  you."  I 
took  out  paper  and  pencil  and  wrote  down  a  figure  one, 
thus  :   I.     "  That  is  one,  is  it  not  ?  " 

"Certainly,"  replied  Bullinger. 

"  Now  I  write  a  cipher  after  it—" 

"  Well,  what  of  that  ?  " 

"  In  this  case  the  cipher  has  a  value." 

The  same  superior  cynical  smile  that  had  previously 
irritated  me  stole  over  Bullinger's  features. 

"  What  value  ?  "  he  asked. 

"In  that  case,  ten;  and  generally  the  cipher's  value 
depends   wholly   upon    its    distance   from    the    decimal 

point." 

Bullincrer  threw  his  head  back  and  laughed  aloud. 
"You  m'list  really  excuse  me,  Mr.  Cliff;  I  do  not  wish 
to  seem  impolite,  but  upon  my  word  all  your  argument 


2l6  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

has  only  brought  you  round  to  the  Decimals.  You  are 
only  reasoning  in  a  circle — " 

"  But,"  said  I,  "  let  me  explain  to  you  what  is  meant 
by  the  decimal  point." 

"  Haven't  we  had  about  enough  of  this  ? "  said  Bul- 
linger,  stifling  a  yawn,  "  I  am  awfully  tired  and  sleepy  ; 
suppose  we  retire." 

"  Very  well,"  I  responded,  with  some  nioroseness,  "  if 
you  are  not  disposed  to  be  convinced — " 

"  Oh,  I  have  been  very  much  interested,  Mr.  Cliff. 
You  argue  very  ingeniously,  but  really,  I  can't  be  ex- 
pected to  believe  impossibilities." 

So,  with  some  trifling  coolness  between  us,  Bullingej 
and  I  retired  to  our  rooms. 


CHAPTER  XXII. 

TROUBLE    IN    EARNEST. 

1\ /T  R.  SMALLS  grew  gradually  better  from  that  clay. 

IVi.  'j'ljg  j^YQ  learned  physicians  from  the  capital — who 
had,  however,  gone  back  in  disgust  when  Dr.  Humpath 
had  been  called  in — ascribed  his  cure  solely  to  their  nau- 
seous doses.  Dr.  Humpath  took  great  credit  to  himself, 
and  insisted  that  it  was  the  judicious  use  of  the  sea-powder 
drops ;  but  while  the  two  schools  of  medicine  wrangled, 
Mr.  Nudwink  openly  declared  that  to  Numbers  and  the 
peanut  oil  the  praise  was  due.  Mrs.  Smalls  and  Oliver 
were  too  delighted  at  the  change  to  care  greatly  how  it 
had  been  effected  ;  but  neither,  of  course,  gave  me  the 
least  credit ;  and  they  could  scarcely  be  expected  to  do 
so,  as  Mr.  Smalls  had  been  true  to  his  word,  and  I,  of 
course,  had  not  spoken. 

Oliver  came  over  to  the  village  in  the  afternoon  of  the 
day  whereon  I  had  told  Margery  the  truth  respecting 
myself.  Bullinger  and  I  were  sitting  on  the  piazza  on 
the  main  street,  and  it  was  there  that  Oliver  handed  me 
a  letter  from  ^L'lrgery.  My  first  letter  from  her.  How 
dear  the  handwriting  was,  the  delicate  strokes  of  the  pen 
that  she  had  held.  I  excused  myself,  and  going  to  my 
own  room,  in  solitude  I  read  what  she  had  written. 
Perhaps  I  had  feared  trouble  ;  but  there  was  no  need 
that  I  should.  The  note  was  a  short  one,  and  as  loving 
as  I  could  have  wished. 

217 


2l8  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Papa  wishes  me  to  write,"  so  the  note  ran.  "  Of 
course,  dear  John,  he  knows  nothing  of  your  having  been 
here ;  but  he  has  received  a  pass  for  you  from  Roth 
Gallwood,  which  I  enclose.  Papa  wishes  me  to  say  that 
lie  will  be  glad  to  see  you  and  also  Mr.  Bullinger  at  any 
time."  This  was  all  the  information  that  the  letter  con- 
tained. The  passes  were  enclosed,  and  as  I  read  them, 
renewed  hope  sprang  up  in  my  heart.  I  went  down 
again  to  the  piazza.  Oliver  knew  that  the  passes  had 
been  sent,  and  had  been  telling  Bullinger. 

"Come  over  at  any  time,"  said  Oliver,  as  he  went 
away,  "we  shall  all  be  glad  to  see  you." 

Much  to  my  joy,  it  was  Bullinger  who,  himself,  sug- 
gested that  we  should  tarry  awhile  in  the  village,  and 
it  was  also  his  proposition  that  we  should  walk  over 
to  Lunatico  Cottage  that  evening. 

It  was  after  dark  when  we  arrived  there,  and  Margery 
and  her  father  were  in  the  parlor,  with  Oliver  and  Mrs, 
Smalls  and  her  son.  The  latter  had  not,  of  course, 
recovered  his  strength,  but  the  faint  glow  of  returning 
health  was  on  his  cheeks,  and  he  welcomed  me  very 
cordially. 

The  Governor  was  also  very  kind,  and  Margery  seemed 
to  be  content  to  have  me  with  her.  Though  she  said  but 
little,  I  found,  from  time  to  time,  that  her  eyes  rested 
upon  mine,  with  the  happy  light  in  them  of  an  assured 
and  assuring  love. 

We  talked  for  a  time  upon  indifferent  subjects  until, 
at  last,  the  conversation  became  confined,  almost  exclu- 
sively, to  Mr.  Mayland  and  Bullinger,  who  had  taken  up 
the  subject  of  the  faith-cure.  For  a  time  the  discussion 
was  an  abstract  one,  no  especial  reference  being  made 
to  Mr.  Smalls'  recovery.     While  the  two  were  talking  in 


TROUBLE    IN    EARNEST.  SlQ 

a  very  animated  way,  there  was  a  knock  at  the  door,  and 
to  my  chagrin  and  vexation,  Mr.  Nudwink  appeared. 

He  greeted  the  others  with  sanctimonious  politeness, 
and  bowed  stiffly  to  me. 

"  Do  not  let  me  interrupt  your  conversation,"  he  said, 
as  he  dropped  into  a  chair.  "  Pray  make  no  stranger  of 
me." 

"  Mr.  Bullinger  and  I  were  having  a  little  argument 
respecting  the  faith-cure,"  said  the  Governor,  with  his 
usual  pleasant  smile. 

"  Proceed,"  said  Mr.  Nudwink,  with  a  wave  of  his 
hand. 

"And  I  had  declared  my  opinion,  very  positively, 
against  it,"  said  Bullinger. 

Nudwink  smiled.  As  he  waved  his  hand  in  the  direc- 
tion of  Mr.  Smalls,  he  observed,  calmly,  "  How  is  it  pos- 
sible to  doubt  in  the  presence  of  our  dear  friend,  who, 
in  his  own  person,  is  a  living  example  of  its  wonderful 
efficacy  ?  " 

"  I  deny,  most  emphatically,"  said  Bullinger,  a  little 
warmly,  "  that  Mr.  Smalls'  cure  was  due  to  the  exercise 
of  faith." 

"  As  to  that,  I  express  no  opinion,"  said  Mr.  Mayland. 

"  To  what,  then,  was  it  due  ?  "  demanded  Nudwink, 
aroused  in  defence  of  what  he  regarded  as  his  own  work. 

"  Natural  causes,"  responded  Bullinger,  emphatically. 
"  Natural  causes  only ;  aided,  I  am  willing  to  admit,  very 
possibly,  by  medicine." 

"  The  drops,"  I  suggested,  with,  perhaps,  a  little  satir- 
ical emphasis. 

Mr.  Nudwink  turned  and  looked  at  me,  with  no  very 
pleasant  expression. 

"  The  drops  had  nothing  to  do  with   it,"   he  observed. 


220  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

adding,  with  a  significant  nod,  "  nor  I  presume,  Mr.  Clifi\ 
had  you." 

Had  I  ?  What  did  he  mean  by  that  remark?  I  felt  the 
warm  blood  dyeing  my  cheek,  I  glanced  towards  Oliver; 
he  had  turned  his  head  away,  and  Margery  had  bent 
down  over  the  work  in  her  lap,  through  which  her  skilful 
fingers  were  plying,  but  her  cheeks  were  tinged  with  the 
deepest  crimson. 

I  returned  Nudwink's  look  as  calmly  as  I  could,  and, 
in  a  moment,  he  resumed,  speaking  very  deliberately. 
"  Before  I  left  the  asylum,  Mr.  Cliff,  I  heard,  incidentally, 
that  you  had  suggested  the  idea  of  some  faith-cure  of 
your  own  devising.  This  suggestion,  of  Itself,  coming 
from  a  layman,  would  be  in  the  highest  degree  surprising, 
but  from  one  like  yourself,  entertaining  the  opinions  you 
do,  it  is,  I  might  say,  almost  blasphemous.  A  person 
who  avows  himself  openly  a  believer  in  the  pernicious 
errors  of  Hurtheart  is  not  surely  fitted  to  prate  of  faith." 

Mr.  Mayland's  eyes  were  fixed  upon  me  inquiringly. 
Margery  looked  up  quickly,  distress  pictured  on  her  face. 
Oliver  turned  suddenly  around  in  great  amazement,  and, 
for  a  moment,  there  was  complete  silence.  I  regretted 
having  mentioned  the  drops ;  but  I  was  about  to  reply 
when  BuUingei  interposed. 

"That  is  hardly  fair,  Mr.  Nudwink,"  said  he.  "Mr. 
Cliff  and  I,  it  is  true,  attended  Mr.  Hurtheart's  lecture, 
and  we  both  were  much  pleased ;  but  was  not  Mr.  Cliff 
justified  if  he  knew  or  thought  he  knew  of  a  remedy  for 
Mr.  Smalls'  illness  in  making  an  effort  to  cure  him .''  " 

Nudwink's  eyes  opened. 

"You  say  that  Mr.  Cliff  did  try;— how  is  that,  Mr. 
Smalls?" 

Mr.  Smalls  made  no  reply.     Margery  raised  her  head 


TROUBLE    IN    EARNEST. 


suddenly  ;  her  quick  wit  came  to  my  rescue.  "  It  is  time 
that  Mr.  Smalls  retired,"  she  said,  promptly.  "  I  am  sure 
he  must  feel  exhausted.  Is  it  not  so,  Mr.  Smalls .?  "  she 
said,  coming  toward  him.  His  mother,  too,  easily  made 
nnxious,  now  united  in  the  persuasion  that  her  son  should 
retire. 

This  diversion  availed  for  a  time  to  distract  Mr.  Nud- 
wink's  attention  from  me  ;  but  after  Mr.  Smalls  had  left 
the  room,  that  disagreeable  person  returned  persistently 
to  the  subject. 

"There  seems  to  be  a  misapprehension  about  all  this," 
said  Nudwink  ;  "  may  I  be  permitted  to  ask  the  question, 
to  which  I  could  get  no  response  from  Mr.  Smalls  .?  Per- 
haps you  can  inform  me,  Governor  ?  " 

"  As  to  that,"  responded  Mr.  Mayland,  "  I  know  abso- 
lutely nothing." 

"  How  is  it,  Oliver  ?  " 

This  persistence  was,  it  may  be  imagined,  intolerably 
disagreeable  to  me.  I  saw,  of  course,  that  Oliver  was  also 
vexed.  My  usual  impetuosity  got  the  better  oi  mv  pru- 
dence, as  it  had  on  so  many  other  occasions. 

"  Mr.  Nudwink,"  I  said,  shortly  and  emphatically,  "there 
is  no  need  for  30U  to  put  these  questions  to  others  when 
I  am  present  myself  to  answer  them." 

"You  heard  my  question,"  said  he,  coldly;  "if  you 
choose  you  may  answer." 

"  My  answer  is  that  I  did  make  the  effort  to  cure  Mr. 
Smalls." 

"  Ah  !  you  did  ?  " 

"  I  did." 

"  When  was  this  attempt  made  ?  " 

"It  was  made  last  night. "' 

"Last  night  I  "  e.xclaimed    Mr.  Xudwink,  in  a  tone   of 


222  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

assumed  horror.  "  Why,  sir,  last  night  you  had  no  permit. 
How  is  that  ?  " 

Mr.  Mayland  now  looked  at  me  in  great  surprise. 
Poor  Margery  and  Oliver  were  both  much  distressed. 
"Is  it  worth  while,"'  said  the  latter,  "to  pursue  the  sub- 
ject further.''  Mr.  Cliff  has  a  pass  now,  and  that  surely 
should  suffice  in  any  event." 

"  Very  well,"  said  Nudwink,  "  I  shall  say  nothing  further 
now." 

His  tone,  and  the  expression  in  his  eye  as  he  glanced 
at  me,  were  both  very  sinister  and  significant.  It  was  not 
long  before  he  took  himself  away.  When  he  had  gone, 
Mr.  Mayland  turned  to  me. 

"It  is  a  disagreeable  matter,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said,  kindly, 
"  but  one  that  for  your  own  sake  should  be  cleared  up  at 
once.  Did  I  understand  you  rightly  in  respect  to  your 
having  been  here  at  this  house  last  night .-' " 

"  Oh,  papa,"  said  Margery,  "  why  need  anything  more 
be  said  about  that .'' " 

"  I  ask  the  question  for  Mr.  Cliff's  sake." 

"  Yes,  Mr.  Mayland,"  I  said,  "  I  was  here  at  your 
house  last  night." 

"  For  the  purpose  of  trying  a  faith-cure  ?  " 

"  Faith  was  certainly  an  element,"  I  answered. 

"  It  is  a  great  pity  that  you  came  without  a  pass." 

"^^'ell,  but,  papa,"  said  Marger}',  "he  has  a  pass  now." 

The  Governor  said  nothing;  but  he  appeared  dissatis- 
fied. 

"  Mr.  Gallwood  knew  that  it  was  my  intention  to  try  to 
cure  Mr.  Smalls,"  I  said. 

"But  still  you  had  no  pass  at  the  time  ? " 

"  No,  I  did  not  then." 

"It  was  very  ill-advised.     Of  course  I  cannot  tell  what 


TROUBLE    IN    EARNEST.         *  223 

Galhvood  may  do,  but  I  very  much  fear  that  Mr.  Nudwink 
will  deem  it  his  duty  to  report  what  he  has  learned." 
"  I  fear  so,"  said  Oliver. 

"  I  confess  that  it  does  not  seem  to  me  to  be  a  serious 
matter,"  I  said.  "Surely  Mr.  Gallwood  will  not  think  it 
amiss  when  the  explanation  is  made." 

But  for  some  reason  the  Governor  and  Oliver  as  well 
as  Margery  seemed  to  regard  the  occurrence  as  very  seri- 
ous. I  had  little  opportunity  to  talk  alone  with  Margery, 
but  she  contrived  to  whisper,  as  I  took  her  chilly  hand  in 
mine  for  an  instant  at  the  door,  "  Oh,  John,  how  could  you 
let  Mr.  Nudwink  know  that  you  were  here  ;  he  is  so  con- 
scientious." 

Bullinger  chattered  incessantly  all  the  way  back  to  the 
\illage  ;  yet,  though  I  replied  from  time  to  time,  I  was 
thinking  of  what  had  taken  place  that  evening,  and,  above 
all,  of  \vhat  Margery  had  said.  It  did  not  appear  to  me 
that  the  word  conscientious  was  the  most  fitting  to  apply 
to  Nudwink.  Perhaps  I  was  prejudiced,  but  certainly  that 
did  not  appear  to  be  the  most  appropriate  word. 

The  next  day,  quite  early,  two  men  in  that  blue  uniform 
which  I  had  learned  to  dislike  so  heartily,  appeared  at 
the  inn,  and  unceremoniously  demanded  an  interview. 
My  mind  misgave  me.  but  of  course  I  acceded,  and  going 
down  to  the  parlor  of  the  inn  I  there  found  the  two 
officials  and  the  landlord.  The  latter  was  in  some  trepi- 
dation, and  looked  at  me  with  an  expression  of  great  pity. 
One  of  the  officers  stepped  forward  and  handed  me  a 
document.  I  opened  it  and  read  what  purported  to  be  a 
requisition  or  order  to  deliver  myself  up  to  the  custody  of 
the  constituted  authority  of  the  sun  court.  The  paper 
was  signed  by  "Bounce,  justice,"  and  to  it  wa-^  attached 
by  a  ribbon  a  ponderous  wax  seal.     There  did  not  appear 


224  '  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

to  be  any  statement  of  the  nature  of  the  olTence  of  which 
I  was  charged,  and  I  very  naturally  requested  this  infor- 
mation of  the  policemen.  They  either  could  not  or 
would  not  comply,  and  only  intimated  that  their  duty  in 
the  premises  was  solely  to  convey  me  forthwith  to  the 
capital,  where  I  would  be  arraigned  and  given  an  oppor- 
tunity to  plead.  Further  than  this  they  would  say  noth- 
ing, although  they  were  very  civil,  and,  one  of  them  be- 
ing present  all  the  time,  I  was  given  ample  time  to 
pack  my  valise.  Poor  Mr.  Bullinger  appeared  very  much 
annoyed,  and  before  I  could  dissuade  him,  he  started  out 
across  the  fields  towards  the  Governor's  house. 

Despite  my  earnest  remonstrance  the  ofBcials  would 
not  wait  for  his  return.  They  declared,  no  doubt  with 
entire  truth,  that  their  orders  were  imperative  to  arrest 
me  forthwith  and  proceed  with  all  due  speed  towards  the 
capital.  A  fleet  team  of  steers  bore  us  quickly  across  the 
country.  That  night  we  stopped  at  a  little  wayside  inn, 
where,  much  to  my  surprise,  I  was  left  for  the  night  quite 
unguarded,  and  the  next  morning  ver}'  early  we  resumed 
our  journey.  We  pursued  the  same  poorly  macadamized 
highway  which  had  now  become  so  distasteful  to  me,  and  it 
was  not  very  long  after  day-break  before  the  terrible  tur- 
reis-of  the  asylum  loomed  up  through  the  fog  in  front  of 
us.  Instead  of  entering  those  grim  gates  as  on  the  former 
occasion,  the  steers  were  driven  rapidly  by.  We  passed 
the  gateway  also  of  that  lovely  garden  sacred  to  the  first 
glimpse  of  my  own  sweet  Margery,  and  sacred  also  to 
our  happy  betrothal.  As  we  rolled  swiftly  past  the  angle 
of  the  asylum,  there  was  a  sudden  sound  overhead ;  a  win- 
dow in  the  turret  had  been  hastily  raised.  Involuntarily 
I  cast  my  eyes  upward,  and  there  in  the  casement,  looking 


TROUBLE    IN     KARNEST. 


!25 


down,  sat  Nuclwiiik  and  Gallwood.     The  latter,  seeing  that 
1  had   observed   him,  bowed    politely :    "  Good-day,  Mr. 
Cliff,"  said  he,  with  a  peculiar  smile,  "  are  you  having  a 
pleasant  ride  ? " 
IS 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

HE    INSISTED   THAT  I  BELONGED   TO  A  HIGHLY    RESPECTABLE 
FAMILY. 

T  N  due  time  we  reached  the  capital,  and  I  was  conducted 
-*-  at  once  into  the  presence  of  the  justice  of  the  sun 
court.  The  moment  our  eyes  met  I  recognized  in  this 
individual  the  person  whom  I  had  met  the  first  morning  of 
my  arrival  in  the  island,  and  from  whom  I  obtained  the 
information  that  it  was  called  Inquirendo ;  and  the  tip- 
staff by  his  side  was  none  other  than  the  man  Mike  who 
had  been  so  handy  with  the  cobble-stones.  They  both 
knew  me  at  once  :  the  judge  started  nervously — it  was 
evident  that  I  had  on  that  occasion  given  him  a  consider- 
able shock — and  Mike  put  on  a  broad  grin,  which  was 
even  more  repulsive  than  his  savage  demeanor  had  been 
when,  at  the  judge's  appeal,  he  had  bidden  me  "  be  aff." 
However,  his  nervousness  did  not  prevent  the  judge  from 
going  through  his  duties  with  much  alacrity.  As  to  the 
details  of  these  duties,  the  forms  of  the  arraignment,  and 
the  plea  that  I  entered  on  my  own  behalf  of  "  not  guilty," 
it  is  not  needful  to  amplify.  Let  it  suffice  that  on  the 
complaint  of  the  Reverend  Mr.  Nudwink  I  was  charged 
with  being  7io7i  compos.  When  this  charge  was  read  by  a 
court  officer  I  felt  a  cold  shiver  run  over  me,  and  yet  at 
the  time  I  had  little  apprehension  that  there  would  be  dif- 
ficulty in  clearing  myself.  When  the  proceedings  were 
over  I  was  remanded  to  the  custody  of   an  officer,  and 

226 


I   in:r,c)XGED  TO  a  highly  rrspectable  family.     227 

taken  at  once  to  a  cell  in  the  prison  attached  to  the  sun 
court.  Although  it  was  a  cell,  and  its  dimensions  were 
not  large,  yet  I  did  not  find  it  an  uncomfortable  apart- 
ment. I  was  allowed  all  the  indulgence  that  was  compat- 
ible with  security  duriiii;  the  week  that  elapsed  before  my 
trial  ;  and  had  it  not  been  for  the  load  of  anxiety  that  bur- 
dened me  so  heavily.  I  might  even  have  been  contented 
with  my  books,  and  the  prospect  of  busy  life  from  the  win- 
dow, both  of  which  indulgences  I  was  permitted  to  enjoy. 
The  day  after  my  incarceration  a  letter  came  from  Mar- 
gery ;  a  letter  that  was  heart-breaking  in  its  depth  of 
despair  and  agony.  She  seemed  utterly  overwhelmed  by 
the  misfortune  that  had  befallen  us,  for  in  her  heart  I  was 
now  linked  indissohibly  with  her  destin}'.  One  comfort  I 
derived  from  this  letter  :  she  was  to  leave  Lunatico  Cottage 
at  once.  Her  father,  so  she  wrote,  had  decided  to  return 
to  the  asylum,  and  her  mother  and  herself  should  come  to 
the  capital  as  soon  as  it  could  be  arranged.  After  that  I 
waited  in  mournful  expectancy,  and  in  the  afternoon  of 
the  third  day  I  saw  Margery  and  her  mother  in  the  cell, 
the  prison  rules  not  permitting  me  to  leave  it. 

It  was  a  very  dreary  interview :  Mrs.  Mayland  wept 
and  grieved  even  more  than  Margery,  who,  with  a  strength 
of  resolution  that  I  had  hardly  given  her  credit  for,  bore 
up  and  strove  to  comfort  me.  Yet  after  all  there  was  lit- 
tle to  be  said  in  the  way  of  comfort.  I  had  by  this  time 
come  to  a  realizing  sense  of  the  peril  that  I  was  in  ;  but  of 
its  actual  nature  and  of  the  crushing  weight  of  the  evi- 
dence against  me  I  remained  in  ignorance  until  the  trial 
began.  The  sad  days  that  intervened  were  cheered  by 
Margery's  presence,  and  the  time  passed  in  her  sweet 
society  was  not  without  its  sunshine.  On  the  Sabbath 
before  the  trial  I  was  permitted  to  attend  religious  ser- 


2  28  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

vices  in  the  lower  hall  of  the  prison.  From  the  peculiar 
circumstances  of  my  incarceration  I  was  allowed  privileges 
not  accorded  to  the  rest,  having  a  seat  assigned  to  me  a 
little  apart  from  the  petty  criminals,  who  tilled  the  body 
of  the  hall.  The  services  happened  that  day  to  be  con- 
ducted according  to  the  methods  of  the  Multipliers,  it  being 
the  law,  or  at  least  the  custom,  that  each  sect  in  turn  was 
allowed  to  worship  in  all  the  public  institutions.  The 
preacher  was  a  young  man,  and  of  no  especial  ability,  but 
his  presentation  of  the  cardinal  doctrine  of  his  creed,  the 
death  of  Numbers  upon  the  raft,  was  so  full  of  pleading 
pathos  that  my  eyes  overflowed.  Though  1  knew  how- 
garbled  was  the  truth  in  his  mind,  and  how  foolish  all  his 
preaching,  yet  in  his  deep  earnestness  there  was  nothing 
garbled,  nor  in  his  impassioned  utterances,  nor  in  his  holy 
faith  was  there  foolishness.  Straight  from  the  heart  the 
words  came,  and  as  they  affected  others  in  one  way,  so  in 
another  they  affected  me. 

The  next  day  the  trial  began.  Although  there  was  a 
much  greater  degree  of  ceremony  than  had  been  the  case 
at  my  previous  trial  before  the  convalescent  court,  yet  the 
proceedings  were  in  all  respects  similar.  As  on  that  occa- 
sion a  crier  had  proclaimed  the  court  open,  so  it  was  now 
proclaimed.  The  judge,  whose  name,  I  was  told,  was 
Knowitz,  sat  in  the  solemn  dignity  of  decorum  upon  an 
elevated  bench,  and  there  was  an  air  of  gloom  over  all 
present.  As  before,  the  writ  under  seal  was  exhibited,  and 
I  was  then  asked  whether  I  desired  to  conduct  my  own 
defence.  I  was  told  in  response  to  my  question  that  mat- 
ters of  law  were  involved  as  well  as  of  fact,  so  I  claimed 
the  privilege  of  counsel,  and  one  was  forthwith  assigned 
to  me,  with  whom  I  conferred  apart  for  a  short  time,  while 
a  dead  silence  was  preserved  in  the   court-room.     At  the 


I    BELONGED    TO    A    HIGHLY    RESPECTABLE    FAMILY.       220 

end  of  our  consultation  my  counsel  rose  and  stated  that  we 
were  ready  to  proceed. 

"  Read  the  indictment,"  said  Judge  Knowitz,  in  a  crisp, 
business-like  voice,  and  a  crier  or  clerk,  stepping  briskly 
forward,  held  up  a  document,  and  read  in  a  loud  voice  as 
follows : — 

"  Know  all  men  by  these  presents,  that  it  having  come 
to  the  knowledge  of  the  Hon.  Justus  Knowitz,  one  of  the 
justices  of  the  Sun  Court,  that  John  Cliff,  a  convalescent 
on  the  second  stage  of  the  course  of  discipline,  is  believed 
to  be  incurable,  and  has  given  just,  proper,  and  reasonable 
grounds  to  the  Reverend  Jabez  Nudwink  to  so  believe 
him,  to  the  extent  that  the  said  Nudwink  hath,  in  due 
form  of  law,  presented  him  as  an  incurable,  and  hath,  and 
now  doth,  on  behalf  of  himself  and  of  his  fellow  citizens, 
demand,  that  due  course  of  law  in  such  case  made  and 
provided  shall  be  had,  to  the  end  that  the  safety  of  all 
citizens  of  Inquirendo  shall  be  protected  as  against  the 
said  convalescent,  John  Cliff,  as  aforesaid.  Now,,  there- 
fore, the  Sun  Court,  by  virtue  of  its  duly  constituted  au- 
thority, doth  arraign  the  said  John  Cliff  as  aforesaid,  and 
doth  call  upon  him  to  answer  to  the  charge  duly  filed 
against  him  by  the  Reverend  Jabez  Nudwink  as  aforesaid, 
to  wit  :  the  charge  of  being  incurable. 

"  Witness  our  hand,  and  the  seal  of  the  Sun  Court,  this 

—  day  of  August . 

"  Justus  Knowitz. 

"By  the  Court,  [seal.] 

"  Michael  Tierney,  Scribe." 

When  the  clerk  had  finished  reading,  the  judge  ad- 
dressed me  by  name.  I  rose,  and  looked  him  in  the 
eye. 


230  INQUIREXDO    ISLAND, 

"  Mr,  Cliff,"  said  the  judge,  with  great  gravity,  "  the 
general  charge  to  which  you  are  now  called  upon  to 
plead,  is  the  charge  of  being  incurable.  What  have  you 
to  sav  in  this  regard  ?     Are  you  guilty  or  not  guilty  ? '' 

"  Not  guilty,"  I  responded,  promptly. 

"  You  may  sit  down,"  said  the  judge, 

I  did  so,  and  his  Honor  proceeded  at  some  length  to  ex- 
plain the  law  of  my  case.  The  substance  of  what  he  said 
was,  that  the  law  regarded  the  safety  of  the  citizen  as  an 
individual  as  wholly  subordinate  to  that  of  society,  and 
that,  therefore,  no  habitual  criminal,  or  hopelessly  diseased 
person,  or  mental  incurable,  should  regard  it  as  in  the 
nature  of  a  hardship  that  society  took  due  measures  to  rid 
itself  of  a  burden. 

"  The  retaining  of  an  individual  upon  the  island,"  said 
the  court,  "  after  the  determination  of  the  fact  of  incur- 
ableness,  whether  physically,  morally,  or  mentally,  would 
constitute  in  itself  a  crime.  You  are,  if  guilty,  no  longer 
a  citizen,  but  mere  surplus  population,  and  society  is  not 
only  justified,  but  bound  to  rid  itself  of  you." 

The  judge  then  proceeded  to  inform  me,  that  it  was  my 
right  to  present  my  own  case  through  my  counsel,  and 
that  to  enable  me  to  prepare  for  such  presentation  a  recess 
would  be  taken  till  afternoon. 

Court  thereupon  adjourned,  and  my  counsel  and  I  had 
quite  a  lengthy  conference  in  one  of  the  jury  rooms. 
Francis  Dash,  my  lawyer,  was  a  man  of  about  fifty  years 
of  age,  tall,  spare  even  to  emaciation,  with  prominent 
features  and  a  cadaverous  complexion  ;  his  hair  was  very 
sparse,  but  what  there  was  of  it  was  of  a  tawny  hue  ;  a 
scrawny  beard,  and  a  still  scrawnier  mustache  were  rather 
appendages  than  adornments  to  his  visage.  Although 
Mr.  Dash  was  by  no  means  a  handsome  man,  he  made  up 


I    BELONGED   TO   A    HIGHLY    RESPECTABLE  FAMILY.    23 1 

in  legal  acumen  what  he  lacked  in  beauty.  In  the  course 
of  the  hour  that  we  spent  in  the  jury  room  he  gave  abund- 
ant evidence  that  his  sky-blue  eyes  were  quite  capable  of 
reading  character;  though — as  Solomon  might  have  re- 
marked, without  losing  caste  as  a  sage — no  eyes,  sky-blue 
or  any  other  color,  can  always  gauge  motives.  Mr.  Dash 
asked  me  a  great  many  questions — short,  snappy,  prompt, 
decisive  questions,  to  most  of  which  I  responded  with 
alacrity.  He  expressed  no  particular  surprise  when  I 
told  him  that  I  had  no  special  home  ;  and  he  only  lifted 
his  brows  a  trifle  when  I  added,  thinking  it  best  to  be 
frank,  "  At  least,  on  the  island." 

"  Better  tell  me  the  tohole  truth,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  remarked, 
monotonously,  beginning  to  pare  his  nails.  "  I  can  defend 
you,  of  course,  without  that,  but  as  a  general  rule  it  is 
better  to  confide  in  your  lawyer." 

Margery  had  not  released  me  from  my  promise,  but  I 
thought  it  best  to  tell  Mr.  Dash  the  whole  story.  He 
listened  at  first  with  great  interest  when  I  spoke  of  my 
father's  country  villa  at  Far  Rockaway,  and  of  the  house 
in  Park  Avenue.  His  light  eyes  opened  when  I  explained 
the  glories  of  the  great  city,  and  the  attractions  of  Coney 
Island.  They  opened  wider  yet  when,  thinking  that  he  was 
entertained,  I  mentioned  certain  facts  connected  with  our 
New  York  civilization.  I  think  his  first  look  of  incredu- 
lity appeared  when  I  alluded  to  the  elevated  road — it  was 
either  then,  or  when  I  casually  mentioned  the  dispropor- 
tion between  the  cost  of  making  water  gas  and  the  price 
at  which  it  was  sold  to  consumers.  Mr.  Dash's  face  ex- 
pressed not  only  incredulity,  but  amazement,  when  I  re- 
lated the  circumstances  of  my  arrival  upon  the  island. 
Incredulous,  and  amazed  as  he  was,  the  eminent  counsel 
listened  in  silence  to  all  I  had  to  say,  and  then  remarked 


232  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

placidly,  "  Was  it  for  the  expression  of  these  views  thai 
you  were  first  confined  in  the  asylum  ?  " 

I  acknowledged  that  it  was. 

"  How  did  it  happen  that  you  became  convalescent .-' 
Were  your  views  modified  .-'  " 

'*  Views  !  they  were  not  views — " 

"  What  then  ?  "  said  Mr.  Dash. 

"  Facts." 

"  Then,  in  deference  to  you,  allow  me  to  put  the 
question  in  another  form  :   were  your  facts  modified  ?  " 

"  The  facts  could  not  be  modified,"  I  answered,  "  but,  in 
deference  to  the  prevailing  sentiments  and  bigotry  of  the 
populace,  I  modified  my  statement  of  them." 

"  To  suit  the  emergency  ?  " 

"  Precisely." 

"  In  that  you  were  wise,  Mr.  Cliff.  I  need  not  say  thai 
while  I  abhor  all  lying,  and  should  not  advise  that  this 
course  of  prevarication  be  pursued  in  the  interests  of 
morals,  yet,  as  your  counsel,  I  feel  bound  to  tell  you  thai 
if  you  are  as  frank  with  Judge  Knowitz  as  you  have,  very 
properly,  been  with  me,  you  will  be  convicted,  to  a  dead 
certainty." 

"  But  suppose  I  could  prove  that  what  I  have  said  was 
true  } " 

"  State  the  nature  of  your  proposed  proof." 

"  If  I  could  be  given  the  time,  and  the  proper  appliances," 
I  responded,  "  I  could  build  a  cofTer-dam  around  my  boat. 
I  feel  convinced  I  could  raise  her,  and  when  I  had  once 
done  that,  if  I  sailed  round  the  island  once  or  twice  in 
her,  I  suppose  that  would  be  abundant  proof ;  would  il 
not  ? " 

Mr.  Dash  nodded  his  head. 

"  Ample,  I  should  say." 


I    HELONOKD    TO    A    inGHf.V    RKSI'ECIABLE  FAMILY,     27,T, 

"'J'hcii  why  1101  sii'^'^csi  thai  t  i  the  judge  ?  "  said  I,  now 
quite  eager  lo  have  my  veracit}-  put  to  the  test. 

Mr.  Dash  went  on  paring  his  hnger-nails,  but  made  no 
reply. 

"  Do  you  see  what  1  mean  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Yes." 

"  What  do  you  think  of  the  suggestion  ?  " 

"  There  are  forty  things  in  the  way  of  carrying  it  out 
practically,"  Mr.  Dash  responded,  shutting  up  his  knife  : 
"the  first  one  is  that  it  is  impossible.  I  will  mention  the 
others  some  time  when  we  have  more  leisure." 

"  But  why  is  it  impossible  ?  A  man  on  trial  as  I  am 
ought  to  be  given  every  opportunity  to  defend  himself.  I 
have  plenty  of  money.  I  would  cheerfully  bear  all  the 
expense  of  the  coffer-dam.  You  have  yourself  admitted 
that  the  proof  that  I  have  suggested  would  be  ample.  If 
I  did  what  I  know  I  can  do,  all  doubts  of  my  sanity  would 
be  at  an  end." 

'•  Very  likely ;  but  I  should  hesitate  to  mention  the 
matter  to  the  judge  ;  and  if  you  will  be  guided  by  me,  Mr. 
Cliff,  you  will  leave  all  the  details  of  your  defence  to  my- 
self."' 

In  this,  though  loath  to  do  so,  I  was  obliged  to  ac- 
quiesce, and  when  we  returned  to  the  court-room  after  the 
recess  Mr.  Dash  made  my  defence  for  me.  He  began 
by  reading  the  commitment  papers,  whereby  I  was  first 
sent  to  the  asylum  ;  the  report  of  Dr.  Setbon  and  his  asso- 
ciates, made  at  several  distinct  periods ;  the  record  of  the 
trial  before  the  convalescent  court,  and  the  findings 
therein  ;  then  laying  down  these  documents  on  the  table 
in  front  of  him,  Mr.  Dash  took  off  his  glasses,  and  in  a 
soft,  low  voice,  calm  and  distinct,  he  began  his  statement 
of  my  case   in   his   own  way.      He    admitted   very  frankly 


234  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

the  fact  of  previous  aberration  and  loss  of  memory,  and 
also  admitted  that  the  memory  of  remote  events  was  still 
impaired  ;  but  he  insisted  with  much  vigor  that  this  con- 
stituted no  impediment  whatever  to  my  performance  of 
all  duties  of  citizenship.  He  went  over  the  whole  story 
of  my  life  since  my  first  arrest  the  day  of  my  arrival  upon 
the  island.  He  insisted  that  I  belonged  to  the  highly  re- 
spectable family  of  the  Ycliffes,  and  that  it  rather  be- 
hooved the  court  to  remand  me  forthwith  to  the  Governor's 
charge  with  a  view  to  liberty,  than  that  I  should  even  be 
called  upon  to  undergo  the  pain  of  hearing  frivolous  evi- 
dence on  a  charge  so  palpably  absurd  as  that  which  had 
been  made  by  Mr.  Nudwink.  In  all  that  he  said  Mr. 
Dash  kept  tight  hold  of  the  truth,  but  it  must  be  admitted 
that  he  squeezed  it  very  hard.  He  complimented  me  by 
saying  that  I  was  a  philosopher,  and  in  this  manner  en- 
deavored to  account  for  my  enthusiasm  respecting  the 
faith-cure. 

"  The  only  point,"  said  Mr.  Dash,  "  as  to  which  my 
client  has  erred  in  even  the  slightest  degree  is  that,  in  the 
interests  of  science  and  humanity,  and  under  the  supposi- 
tion that  he  had  verbal  authority  for  so  doing  from  Acting- 
Governor  Gallwood,  he  crossed  the  boundary  of  the  third 
department  on  the  night  when  Mr.  Smalls  lay,  as  all  sup- 
posed, dying.  That  he  did  err  he  admits,  but  that  his 
erring  was  criminal  we  do  utterly  deny,  and  now  in  con- 
clusion I  move  the  court  to  dismiss  the  case,  and  to  re- 
mand my  client  to  the  custody  of  the  governor  of  the  asy- 
lum." 

"  Motion  denied,"  said  the  judge,  promptly. 

"  I  take  an  exception,"  said  Mr.  Dash,  who  thereupon 
sat  down,  and  the  court  proceeded  to  reiterate  the  law  so 
far  as   it   pertained    to   my  case.     In    this   statement    I 


I    BELONGED    TO   A    HIGHLY    RESPECTABLE  FAMILY.    235 

learned  little  that  was  new  to  nie  ;  but  I  confess  that  the 
repeated  references  to  my  supposed  incurable  condition 
of  lunacy  jarred  upon  my  feelings,  and  the  words  '  non 
compos '  also,  which  were  frequently  used,  were  not  reas- 
suring. At  the  conclusion  of  these  remarks  the  prose- 
cutor got  upon  his  feet.  This  person,  whom  I  had  ob- 
served diligently  pouring  over  some  papers  and  whis- 
pering in  one  corner  with  Nudwink,  was  a  sinister-faced 
man,  past  his  prime,  but  alert,  and  quick,  and  wiry.  He 
stepped  forward  and  began  a  violent  harangue. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

INCONSISTENCY   AND    CONTUMACY. 

'T^  HE  furious  attack  which  this  man  saw  fit  to  make  upon 
^  me  I  shall  not  here  repeat.  He  distorted  every- 
thing that  my  own  lawyer  had  said  on  my  behalf,  and  as 
Mr.  Dash  had  already  done  something  (of  course  in  my 
interest)  in  the  way  of  distortion,  by  the  time  the  other 
had  finished  there  was  very  little  left  of  the  facts.  He 
outlined  in  brief  the  course  that  the  prosecution  proposed 
to  take,  by  saying  that  the  time  of  the  court  would  not  be 
taken  up  by  irrelevant  or  redundant  testimony. 

"  We  introduce,"  said  he,  "  simply  to  make  the  issue 
clear,  the  records  in  Mr.  Cliff's  case ;  but  we  do  not  con- 
sider it  necessary  to  offer  testimony  in  any  respects  be- 
yond two  salient  points,  which  I  briefly  indicate.  The 
first  point  is  the  admitted  one  of  leaving  the  third  depart- 
ment while  on  the  second  stage  of  the  course  of  disci- 
pline, and  the  second  point  is  the  persistent  and  sacrile- 
gious attempts  on  Mr.  Cliff's  part  to  place  peculiar  con- 
structions upon  the  Arithmetic.  These  two  matters,  taken 
together,  will  prove  conclusively  to  your  Honor's  mind  that 
entire  absence  of  consistency  without  which,  as  all  au- 
thorities agree,  no  man  is  sane.  These  peculiar  con- 
structions to  which  I  allude  are  of  such  an  extraordinary 
character  that  I  might  perhaps  be  justified  in  relying 
upon  them  alone  to  prove  my  case  ;  but  complicated  as 

236 


INCONSISTENCY    AND    CONTUMACY.  237 

the  accused's  statements  have  been  with  an  abnormal  vas- 
ciHation  respectuig  religious  belief,  it  can  easily  be  shown 
tliat  the  claim  the  state  now  makes  of  non  composity  is 
well  taken. 

"  Society  demands  safety,"  he  shouted.  "  Society  re- 
quires of  constituted  authority  immunity  from  danger. 
Society  demands  that  it  should  not  be  exposed  to  the  dan- 
ger attendant  upon  the  presence  on  this  island  of  one 
whose  whole  course  indicates  a  vexatious  determination 
to  unsettle  the  minds  of  men.  We  shall  make  such  a  pre- 
sentation of  facts  that  your  Honor  cannot  fail  to  be  con- 
vinced of  this  person's  total  unfitness  for  citizenship,  and, 
in  consequence,  of  life." 

There  was  a  short  interval  of  silence,  and  then,  in  re- 
sponse to  an  intimation  from  the  prosecutor,  the  crier 
called  the  first  witness  : 

"Roth  Galhvood." 

I  looked  hastily  round,  hearing  a  step  behind  me,  and 
]:)erceived  that  upon  the  benches  in  the  rear  of  the  room 
were  quite  a  number  of  persons  whom  I  had  not  before 
observed.  From  the  midst  of  these  Galhvood  advanced 
and  took  the  witness-chair.  I  regarded  him  intently. 
He  seemed  care-worn  and  indeed  dejected.  He  looked 
at  me  with  a  pained  expression,  and  in  testifying  his  an- 
swers were  given  with  evident  or  apparent  reluctance. 

The  usual  preliminary  questions  were  asked  respecting 
the  witness'  occupation,  and  opportunities  of  information 
in  regard  to  my  condition. 

"  Did  you  ever  have  any  conversation  with  Mr.  Cliff 
in  respect  to  Mr.  Smalls  ?  "  continued  the  attorney. 

"  I  did." 

"State  the  substance  of  this  conversation." 

Galhvood  did  so. 


238  INIJUIRENJ'O    ISLAND. 

"  What  did  Mr.  Cliff  say  respecting  his  ability  to  use 
the  so-called  faith-cure  ?  " 

"  He  said  that  if  he  were  allowed  to  try  he  could  cure 
Mr.  Smalls." 

"  Did  he  tell  you  the  precise  means  he  intended  to  em- 
ploy ? " 

"  He  only  said,  in  general  terms,  the  faith-cure." 

"  Did  he  say  what  kind  of  oil  he  wished  to  use  ? " 

"  He  did  not." 

"  Did  he  say  anything  about  oil  ?  " 

"  Not  a  word." 

"  This  conversation  took  place,  as  you  have  stated,  a 
short  time  before  the  journey  began.  Did  Mr.  Cliff  know 
that  his  course  lay  in  the  direction  of  Lunatico  Villa .'' " 

"  He  did." 

"  How  do  you  know  this  ?  " 

"  I  explained  that  fact  to  him,  and  was  careful  at  the 
same  time  to  impress  upon  him  the  necessity  of  procur- 
ing a  pass  before  seeing  Mr.  Smalls."  The  prosecutor 
looked  significantly  at  the  judge  when  this  reply  was 
made. 

"  Did  he  ask  j'ou  for  a  pass  ?  " 

"  He  did  not." 

"  And  you  are  positive  that  he  clearly  understood  the 
need  there  was  of  one  ?  " 

"  Perfectly  positive." 

"  Previous  to  the  time  of  this  conversation  had  any 
pass  been  issued  to  Mr.  Cliff  ?  " 

"  There  had  been  a  pass  issued." 

"  For  what  purpose?  " 

"  To  attend  a  lecture." 

"  Where  ?  " 

"  Here  in  the  capital." 


INCONSISTENCY   AND    CONTUMACY.  239 

"  Whose  lecture  was  it  ?  " 

"  Mr.  Hurtheart's." 

"The  Free-thinker?" 

"Yes." 

"Your  Honor  will  please  note  that  answer." 

Judge  Knowitz  bowed  very  gravely. 

"  Did  he  attend  that  lecture  ?  " 

"He  did." 

"  Was  he  accompanied  by  any  one  ?  " 

"Yes,  by  Mr.  Bullinger." 

"When  they  returned  from  that  lecture  did  you  see 
and  speak  to  Mr.  Cliff.?  " 

"I  did." 

"  In  respect  to  the  subject-matter  of  the  lecture  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Did  Mr.  Cliff  express  any  opinion  respecting  the 
truth  of  what  Mr.  Hurtheart  said  ?  " 

"  He  did.  He  stated  that  he  approved  of  Mr.  Hurt- 
heart's  doctrine." 

"  Did  it  appear  to  you  at  all  strange  that  Mr.  Cliff 
should  say  this,  and  at  the  same  time  advocate  the  use  of 
the  faith-cure  with  Mr.  Smalls.?" 

"  It  did  ;  it  seemed  to  me  very  extraordinary." 

"  What  did  it  indicate  to  your  mind  ?  " 

"  Inconsistency,"  Gallwood  responded,  dolefully. 

"  You  are,  of  course,  aware  of  the  serious  nature  of  your 
reply  ?  " 

"  I  am."  answered  Gallwood.  "  I  should  be  glad  to  re- 
ply differently,  but  I  am  unable  to  do  so." 

"  And  you  state  this,  in  view  of  your  large  experience,  as 
a  fact,  do  you  ? " 

"  I  do." 


240  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Did  you  at  any  time  issue  a  pass  to  Mr.  Cliff  to  visit 
Lunatico  Villa?" 

"  I  did." 

'•  In  response  to  a  request  of  his  ?  " 

"  No ;  in  deference  to  a  request  from  Miss  Margery 
Mayland.  This  was  at  once  complied  with.  I  sent  a 
messenger  to  Lunatico  Cottage  instantly  with  passes  for 
both  Mr.  Bullinger  and  Mr.  Cliff." 

"  On  the  night  of  the  twenty-third  of  August  had  this 
pass  left  your  hands  ?  " 

"  It  had  not.     It  was  sent  the  next  morning  early." 

"  Then  in  case  Mr.  Cliff  had  been  outside  of  the  third 
department  on  the  night  of  the  twenty-third  of  August  it 
would  have  been  in  violation  of  parole  as  a  second-course 
convalescent  ?  " 

"  Certainly." 

"As  an  expert  in  these  matters,  Mr.  Gallwood,  what 
would  such  conduct  indicate  ?  " 

"Contumacy,"  he  responded,  solemnly. 

"  What,  as  an  expert,  do  you  say  respecting  the  testi- 
mony of  insane  jurisprudence  on  the  question  of  proof 
touching  cases  like  Mr.  Cliff's  ?  What,  I  mean,  are  the 
salient  features  of  an  incurable  ?  " 

"  Inconsistency  and  contumacy,"  replied  Gallwood, 
without  moving  a  muscle. 

The  attorney  cast  a  glance  in  the  direction  of  the 
bench.     The  judge  nodded  his  head. 

"  I  wish  to  put  a  hypothetical  question,  Mr.  Gallwood. 
On  the  supposition  that  a  person  on  the  second  stage  of 
the  course  of  discipline  had,  in  a  religious  conversation  with 
an  integer  (he  himself,  the  lunatic,  being  a  cipher),  ex- 
pressed himself  as  being  a  mixed  number,  and  by  so  ex- 
pressing himself,  identified  himself  with  a  religious  body  ; 


INCONSISTENCY    AND   CONTUMACY.  241 

and  that  thereafter  he  (the  lunatic)  desired  to  and  did 
attend  a  lecture  by  a  Free-thinker,  and  at  the  close  of  the 
lecture  declared  in  effect  that  the  lecturer's  arguments 
were  sound  ;  also,  on  the  supposition  that  this  same  luna- 
tic did,  contemporaneously  with  these  latter  declarations, 
proclaim  his  belief  in  a  faith-cure,  but  without  mentioning 
the  word  oil ;  also,  on  the  supposition  that  the  lunatic, 
aware  of  the  necessity  of  a  pass  to  leave  the  third  de- 
partment, did  nevertheless  go  outside  the  department 
without  such  pass,  and  this,  too,  with  knowledge  pre- 
pense, what,  in  your  opinion  as  an  expert,  was  this  man's 
mind  as  to  sanity  ?  " 

Mr.  Gallwood  drew  a  long  breath. 

"  Need  I  reply  to  that  question  ?  "  he  said,  solemnly. 

"  In  the  interests  of  justice,"  replied  the  prosecutor,  "  I 
require  an  answer." 

"He  was  incurable,"  said  Gallwood,  slowly. 

"  Was  he  therefore  in  your  opinion  non  compos  ?  " 

"  He  was." 

"  That  will  do." 

Gallwood  retired,  and  a  moment  after  the  crier  an- 
nounced, "Mr.  Oliver," 

Poor  Oliver  made  his  way  slowly  towards  the  witness- 
chair,  and  his  depression  of  spirits  was  very  evident.  He 
looked  furtively  at  me,  and  I  saw  that  his  eyes  were  full. 

In  response  to  the  attorney's  questions,  Oliver  related 
the  circumstances  of  our  first  acquaintance,  and  in  as  few 
words  as  possible  he  described  our  journey  around  the 
island. 

"There  are  a  few  points,"  said  the  attorney,  "that  I  de- 
sire to  bring  out,  Mr.  Oliver.     In  the  first  place,  on  your 
first  acquaintance,  to  your  knowledge,  did  or  did  not  Mr. 
Cliff  manifest  a  very  deep  interest  in  religious  matters  ?" 
16 


242  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  He  did — a  deep  interest." 

"  In  any  special  denomination  ?  " 

"  In  all  at  first ;  or,  rather,  to  be  exact,  in  any;  that  is, 
he  showed  a  spirit  of  enquiry." 

"Did  this  spirit  of  enquiry  result  in  Mr.  Cliff's  mind 
being  fixed  regarding  any  special  church  ?  " 

"  His  remarks  led  me  to  believe  so." 

"  Towards  what  church  did  he  manifest  an  inclina- 
tion ?  " 

"  The  Decimals." 

"  Did  he  say  so  absolutely  ? " 

"  He  did." 

"  What  was  his  exact  language,  as  near  as  you  can  re- 
call it  ?  " 

"  He  told  me  that  he  felt  assured  that  a  cipher's  value 
depended  upon  its  place  in  reference  to  the  decimal 
point." 

"  Ah  !  "  Again  the  attorney  cast  his  sinister  eye  towards 
the  judge.  The  latter,  as  before,  by  a  nod  intimated  that 
he  comprehended  the  force  of  the  reply. 

"  Did  Mr.  Cliff  ever  intimate  to  you,"  continued  the 
prosecutor,  "  his  desire  or  wish  to  connect  himself  with 
the  Decimals  ?  " 

"  Not  directly — no,  sir." 

"  Indirectly  then  ?  " 

"  I  fear  I  must  reply  that  he  did." 

"  By  something  that  he  said  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  What  was  it  that  he  said  that  led  you  to  form  the  con- 
clusion you  have  stated  ?  " 

"Mr.  Cliff  told  me  one  morning  while  we  were  on  our 
journey  that  he  felt  like  a  mixed  number." 

"  That  he  felt  like  a  mixed  luimber  !     Are  you  not  pre- 


INCONSISTENCY    AND    CONl'UIMACY.  243 

pared  to  say  that  he  stated  that  he  actually  was  a  mixed 
number?  " 

"  No,"  responded  Oliver,  shaking  his  head,  "  I  am  al- 
most sure  he  did  not  say  that." 

"Almost  sure,  you  say;  then  there  is  a  doubt  in  your 
mind  between  those  two  statements.  You  are  not  quite 
sure  whether  he  said  he  was  a  mixed  number  or  was 
only  /i/ce  a  mixed  number  ?  " 

"  No,  I  am  not  sure." 

As  Oliver  gave  this  answer  he  sighed  deeply. 

"  On  the  twenty-third  of  August  last,  in  the  evening, 
where  were  you  .-*  " 

"  At  Mr.  Mayland's  villa,  Lunatico." 

"  Why  were  you  there  ?  " 

"  I  had  been  sent  for  by  my  friend,  Mr.  Smalls,  who 
was  supposed  to  be  dying  of  sea-sickness." 

"  Who  besides  yourself,  so  far  as  you  know,  were  pres- 
ent at  that  house  on  that  evening?  " 

Oliver  mentioned  the  names,  includmg  my  own. 

"  What  took  place  that  evening  in  reference  to  the  faith- 
cure  proposed  by  Mr.  Cliff  ?  Relate,  as  briefly  as  you 
can,  all  the  circumstances." 

Oliver  told  the  story  of  his  meeting  with  me,  and  of 
my  introduction  to  Mrs.  Smalls,  and  then  stated  that  Mr. 
Smalls  being  willing,  I  was  left  for  a  time  alone  with  him. 
It  appeared  to  be  with  great  reluctance  that  Oliver  (old 
of  his  subsequent  interview  with  Mr.  Smalls,  and  how 
hilarious  the  sick  man  was ;  but  the  attorney  persisted 
till  all  the  truth  was  brought  out. 

"  Did  Mr.  Smalls  explain  the  cause  of  his  mirth  ?  " 

"  He  did  not." 

"  One  question  more  :  did  you  warn  Mr.  Cliff  that  even- 
ing that  he  had  better  not    enter  Mr.  Mayland's  house, 


244  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

or  cross  the  boundary  separating  the  third  from  the  sec- 
ond department  without  a  pass  ?  " 

"  I  did." 

"  That  will  do." 

Oliver  stepped  down.  Then  one  after  another,  Mr. 
Mayland,  Dr.  Setbon,  and  Drs.  Humpath,  Muir  and  Waltz 
were  called.  Their  statements  were  mostly  medical, 
each  being  asked  the  hypothetical  question  propounded  to 
Gallwood,  and  all  replied  in  a  similar  manner,  although 
Dr.  Setbon  testified  with  great  reluctance.  I  could  see 
from  the  expression  on  Mr.  Dash's  face  that  he  was 
much  dissatisfied.  Mr.  Mayland  was  the  only  one  who 
(lualified  his  answer  in  the  least,  and  he  only  to  the  ex- 
tent of  saying  that  there  might  be  some  doubt  as  to  con- 
tumacy. He  admitted  fully  the  inconsistency,  and  that 
it  alone  would  be  considered  as  strong  presumptive  evi- 
dence of  non  composmentiveness. 

Mr.  Mayland's  examination  being  over  the  court  ad- 
journed until  the  following  day,  when  the  Reverend  Mr. 
Nudwink  was  called  upon  to  testify. 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

SOME   TESTIMONY    FOR   THE   PROSECUTION. 

XI^RESH  shaven  and  smooth,  unctuous,  oily,  and  sleek, 
-*■  hi  spite  of  his  attenuated  form,  Mr.  Nudwink  took  his 
seat  in  the  witness-chair  with  an  expression  of  sanctimoni- 
ous hypocrisy  that  I  should  have  revolted  from  had  I  been 
simply  an  mdifferent  spectator  of  the  trial  instead  of  being 
the  one  whose  life  was  in  peril.  It  was  hardly  to  be  won- 
dered at  that  I  felt  some  aversion  for  this  man,  and  that  in 
describing  him  I  should  be  tempted  to  depart  from  the 
calmness  of  a  reporter,  and  indulge  myself  in  some  little 
vituperation.  But  I  can  say  now,  honestly,  that  I  have 
not  retouched  to  his  prejudice  the  photograph  which  that 
day  was  impressed  upon  a  retentive  memory.  He  was 
dressed  from  head  to  foot  in  a  suit  of  sombre  black,  except 
that  at  his  throat  he  had  a  green  sea-color  tie  ;  his  hair  was 
brushed  sleekly — parted  near  the  middle — behind  his  ears, 
and  being  long,  though  scanty,  twisted  up  at  the  ends  like 
fish-hooks  ;  his  yellow,  cadaverous  skin  was  drawn  tightly 
over  bony  jaws,  and  above  a  long,  thin  nose  his  green  eyes 
looked  in  unholy  hate  upon  me,  his  victim.  His  thin,  pale 
lips  opened  like  the  mouth  of  a  cat-fish  as  he  responded 
to  the  questions  that  were  propounded. 

"  Your  name  ?  " 

He  gave  it. 

"  Your  occupation  ?  " 

"  Clerg}'man  of  the  Establishment." 
245 


246  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Where  do  you  officiate  ?  " 

"  Ahem  !  At  this  present  time  I  still  minister — I  trust 
acceptably — to  the  unfortunates  at  the  asylum,  and  I  have 
also,  until  within  the  last  few  days,  striven  to  edify  the 
little  flock — grown  greatly  under  my  pastorate — at  the  ad- 
joining village.  But  I  deem  it  needful  to  state  that  I  have 
only  recently  accepted  a  call,  given  with  much  unanimity, 
from  a  congregation  whose  place  of  worship  is  in  this 
city — St.  Proper  Fractions." 

"  Highly  complimentary,"  said  the  prosecutor. 

"  I  so  regard  it,  though  not  to  any  poor  ability  that  I 
may  possess  as  a  pulpit  orator,  but  rather  to  my  devotion 
to  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Numbers." 

"  You  are  acquainted  with  the  accused  ?  " 

"I  am." 

"  Have  your  opportunities  of  knowing  his  character  in- 
timately been  ample  or  the  reverse  }  " 

"  Ample." 

"Have  you  had  conversations  with  him  upon  religious 
subjects  from  time  to  time  ?  " 

"  I  have.  The  first  of  such  conversations  occurred  be- 
fore he  was — mistakenly,  as  I  now  think — placed  upon  the 
course  of  discipline.     I  asked — " 

Mr.  Dash  rose  to  his  feet  hastily. 

"  I  object,"  said  he,  "  I  object  to  any  matters  being  in- 
troduced which  are  already  made  the  subject  of  previous 
investigation  and  which  are  matters  of  record." 

This  objection  was  the  cause  of  a  little  wrangle,  but  was 
sustained  by  the  judge. 

"  How  recently  was  the  last  conversation  ?  " 

"  That  occurred  on  the  evening  of  the  day  that  Mr. 
Smalls  recovered." 

"  Where  did  it  take  place  ?  " 


SOME    TESTIMONY    FOR    THE    PROSECUTION.  247 

"  At  Lunatico,  Mr.  Mayland's  summer  house." 

''  Who  were  present  ?  " 

Nuclwink  gave  the  desired  information. 

"  Be  so  good  as  to  state  the  nature  of  this  conversa- 
tion." 

"There  was  very  little  said.  Some  reference  was  made 
to  the  subject  of  the  remarkable  cure  effected  by  me — or, 
rather,  through  my  instrumentality — of  Mr.  Smalls.  Mr. 
Cliff  arrogantly  professed  to  have  essayed  a  faith-cure  of 
his  own." 

"  Ah  !  he  did.  Was  any  mention  made  by  him  of  the 
time  when  this  futile  attempt  was  made — " 

"  I  object,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Dash,  earning  his  money. 

"  State  your  objection,",  said  the  judge. 

"  I  object  to  counsel's  assumption  that  Mr.  Cliff's  al- 
leged faith-cure  was  futile.  I  ask  to  have  the  word  futile 
stricken  out." 

"  Strike  it  out,"  said  the  judge,  laconically. 

The  attorney  repeated  his  question,  dropping  the  inter- 
dicted word. 

"  Mr.  Cliff  stated,"  Nudwink  responded,  "  that  this  at- 
tempt was  made  the  previous  evening." 

"  Did  he  say  where  it  was  made  ?  " 

"  He  admitted  that  he  made  it  at  Lunatico  Villa." 

"  Did  he  say  anything  respecting  his  method  ?  " 

"  He  did  not." 

"  Of  your  own  knowledge,  Mr.  Nudwink,  can  you  say 
whether  Mr.  Cliff  had  a  permit  to  visit  Lunatico  Villa  at 
the  time  he  admitted  having  been  there?  " 

"  He  had  no  permit." 

"  That  will  do,  sir." 

Nudwink  squirmed  a  little  in  his  chair,  and  his  fishy 
mouth  opened  again  : 


248  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  May  I  be  permitted  to  say  a  word  ? " 

The  judge  bowed. 

"  Lest  my  motives  be  misunderstood,"  said  Nudwink, 
"  I  desire  to  state  that  I  am  only  actuated  in  all  this  mat- 
ter by  a  sincere  regard  for  my  duty  to  society." 

"  We  do  not  doubt  that,  Mr.  Nudwink,"  said  the  judge. 

"  And  not  only  to  society,"  continued  the  chaplain,  "  but 
likewise  to  my  poor  misguided  young  friend,  whom  I  have 
striven  with  unceasingly,  yet,  I  grieve  to  say,  unavailingly. 
I  am  only  a  follower  of  the  raft,  but  I  trust  that  the  old 
leaven  has  been  thoroughly  purged  away.  Though  he  has 
treated  me  with  the  utmost  contumely,  yet  I  bear  him  no 
malice  whatever.  Though  he  has  done  me  a  cruel  wrong 
— and  yet,  not  me,  but  the  truths  I  represent — still  I 
cherish  none  but  the  very  kindliest,  most  affectionate  feel- 
ings towards  him.  If  it  shall  please  Mathematics — if  it 
be  so  ordered  in  his  inscrutable  ways — to  take  the  soul  of 
this  our  unfortunate  brother  home  I  can  only  regard  it  as 
a  dispensation,  and  myself  as  the  humble  instrument.  I 
say  this  lest,  peradventure,  there  should  be  those  who 
might  falsely  accuse  me  of  compassing  his  death.  I  know 
— none  better — how  full  the  island  is  of  iniquity,  and  how 
prone  we  all  are  to  err  ;  but  I  feel  that  in  all  this  I  have 
done  my  sacred  duty,  not  only  to  society,  but  also  to  him. 
As  a  proof  of  my  sincerity  I  here  offer  my  own  ministra- 
tions. I  shall  charge  him  nothing,  although  I  might  le- 
gally do  so,  he  being  no  longer  under  my  direct  spiritual 
control ;  but  I  am  happy  to  be  able  to  state  that  sordid 
considerations  are  now  the  merest  nothing  to  me,  my 
stipend  being  much  larger  from  St.  Proper  Fractions  than 
it  was  previously  as  chaplain  ;  although,  in  justice  to  my- 
self, I  must  say  that  this  fact  had  no  influence  in  deter- 
mining my  course ;  I  had  a  single  eye  to  the  advancement 


SOME   TESTIMONY   FOR   THE    PROSECUTION.  249 

of  the  cause    of  Numbers,  which  I    felt  could  be  better 
done  on  a  wider  field  of  usefulness." 

"  Your  motives  are  in  the  highest  degree  commenda- 
ble," said  the  judge,  with  another  profound  bow.  "  The 
court  appreciates  your  position,  and  exonerates  you,  fully." 

Nudwink  listened  to  this  with  a  smirk  of  intense  satis- 
faction, and  then  glided,  eel-like,  out  of  the  witness-chair. 

His  place  was  taken  at  the  call  of  the  crier  by  the  Rev- 
erend Mr.  Smalls. 

Mr.  Smalls'  appearance  presented  a  strong  contrast  in 
many  respects  to  that  of  Mr.  Nudwink.  Both  were  rather 
tall,  both  spare,  both  bony,  both  pale,  and  both  smooth- 
looking  and  serious.  But  in  the  quiet,  sober,  sorrowful 
dignity  of  Mr.  Smalls,  in  the  delicate  whiteness  of  his 
face  and  hands,  and  in  the  sedate  glance  of  his  gray  eyes, 
there  was  something  that  spoke  of  a  real  and  vital  grace 
and  glory  within;  that  peace  passing  all  understand- 
ing, which  only  belongs  to  a  purified  heart.  Mr.  Smalls 
responded  to  the  usual  questions  politely  and  without 
hesitation,  while  yet  his  manner  was  dejected  and  for- 
lorn. He  related  briefly  how  he  had  first  met  me  at  the 
funeral,  and  then  told  of  his  illness  and  recovery. 

"  You  were  attended  by  several  physicians,  were  you 
not?" 

"  I  was,"  Mr.  Smalls  replied,  naming  them. 

"  Do  you  regard  your  cure  as  having  been  efifected  by 
either  of  these  gentlemen  ?  " 

"I  do  not." 

When  this  reply  was  made  there  was  a  noise  behind  me_ 
Involuntarily  I  glanced  around  and  saw  Dr.  Humpath 
making  his  way,  apparently  in  a  state  of  some  perturba- 
tion, towards  the  door.  The  prosecutor  paid  no  attention 
to  this  interruption,  but  proceeded  with  his  enquiries. 


250  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  By  whom  do  you  consider  your  cure  to  have  been 
made  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  It  was  the  will  of  Mathematics,"  Mr.  Smalls  responded, 
solemnly.     "  As  to  the  means,  I  prefer  not  to  speak." 

"  It  is  with  great  regret  that  I  feel  compelled  to  press 
I  he  question,"  said  the  attorney,  deferentially. 

I  leaned  over  and  whispered  to  my  counsel.  For  the 
first  time  in  our  intercourse  he  seemed  to  regard  a  sugges- 
tion of  mine  as  worthy  of  his  attention.  He  was  up  on 
his  feet  in  a  moment. 

"  I  object,"  he  said.     "  I  object  to  that  question." 

"  On  what  ground  ?  "  asked  the  judge,  while  the  prose- 
cutor looked  at  him  with  the  utmost  astonishment. 

"  On  the  ground  that  the  answer  will,  if  given,  involve 
a  privileged  communication." 

"  If  you  can  sustain  your  claim  that  Mr.  Smalls'  reply 
will  necessarily  involve  such  a  privileged  communication 
the  motion  must  be  granted." 

Then  Mr.  Dash  made  an  argument,  the  substance  of 
which  was  that  no  matter  what  Mr.  Smalls'  reply  might  be 
it  would  involve  matters  of  confidence  between  patient 
and  physician,  or  if  that  ground  was  considered  unten- 
able, between  a  dying  man,  or  one  supposed  to  be  dying, 
and  his  spiritual  adviser.  The  argument  was  long  and 
learned,  and  when  Mr.  Dash  had  finished,  the  prosecutor 
had  an  opportunity  to  reply.  Of  this  he  instantly  availed 
himself,  and  quoted  quite  as  many  authorities  in  his  own 
favor  as  Mr.  Dash  had  in  his.  While  they  were  talking 
some  one  handed  Judge  Knowitz  a  letter.  This  he  opened 
and  read,  and  then  wrote  a  brief  reply.  He  was  in  the 
act  of  licking  the  gum  of  the  envelope  when  the  attorney 
finished. 


SOME   TESTIMONY    FOR    THE    PROSECUTION.  25 1 

"Motion  denied,''  said  the  judge,  rubbing  the  envelope 
with  his  thumb.     "  Answer  the  question,  Mr.  Smalls," 

"  I  take  an  exception  to  that  ruling,"  said  Mr.  Dash,  em- 
phatically, as  he  sat  down  ;  and  then  Mr.  Smalls,  with  evi- 
dent reluctance,  replied,  "  I  believe  that,  in  the  unsearch- 
able and  mysterious  will  of  Mathematics,  Mr,  Cliff  was 
the  instrument,  humanly  speaking,  of  my  cure," 

This  answer  caused  a  manifest  stir  on  the  back 
benches;  the  attorney  looked  blank,  my  own  counsel  as- 
tonished, and  the  amazement  of  the  judge  was  evident. 
At  first  I  hardly  comprehended  what  had  been  said.  Was 
it  possible,  after  all,  that  I  had  produced  the  impression 
that  1  had  so  ardently  desired  to  make,  and  which  I  had 
regarded  as  having  so  hopelessly  failed  in  ?  1  listened 
with  breathless  interest  to  all  that  followed. 

"  You  say,  Mr,  Smalls,"  continued  the  puzzled  attor- 
ney, "that  you  believe  Mr,  Clifif  to  have  been  instrumental 
in  curing  you  ?  " 

"I  believe  it  to  have  been  in  consequence  of  his  visit 
that  I  did  recover," 

"  Did  he  attempt  the  faith-cure  ?  " 

Mr.  Smalls  was  thoughtful. 

"  He  so  stated.  Mr.  Cliff  spoke  of  his  conference  as  a 
faith-cure," 

"You  are  not  willing  to  state  positively  that  it  was  a 
faith-cure  ? " 

"That  I  would  not  be  willing  to  state." 

"Was  the  element  of  faith  involved.?" 

"  So  Mr.  Cliff  said." 

"  But  can  you  not  answer  of  your  own  knowledge  ? " 

"  No,  I  can  only  repeat  what  he  said."' 

"  That  is  very  singular,"   said   the  attorney,  more  puz- 


252  IN(JUIREM)i)    ISLAND. 

zljcl  than  ever.  "What  oil  did  Mr.  Cliff  use?  Perhaps 
,liat  may  guide  us  somewhat." 

Mr.  Smalls  now  appeared  painfully  embarrassed.  At 
last  he  said,  speaking  in  a  very  low  tone  :  "  Mr  Cliff  used 
no  oil." 

"  What !  "  exclaimed  the  attorney,  "  a  pretended  faith- 
cure  and  no  oil !    How  is  that  ?  " 

"  I  cannot  tell,"  replied  Mr.  Smalls,  feebly. 

"  Was  oil  provided  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes." 

"  In  abundance  .-'  " 

"  Certainly  ;  my  mother  attended  to  that." 

"  All  kinds  ?  " 

"Yes;  all  kinds." 

"  And  he  made  no  attempt  to  use  oil  in  any  way  ?  " 

"  No  ;  he  made  no  attempt  whatever." 

"  What  did  he  say  ?  I  mean  what  was  his  mode  of 
expression  ?  " 

"  He  sat  down  beside  me,  and  began — " 

"  Well  ?  " 

"  Is  it  absolutely  necessary  that  I  should  make  this 
s'.atement .''  Is  there  no  way  that  I  can  be  excused  from 
I  he  narration  ?     It  is  painful  in  the  extreme." 

"  It  is  your  duty  under  the  circumstances,  Mr.  Smalls," 
said  the  attorney.  "  I  regret  to  require  it,  but  the  interests 
of  justice  and  the  good  of  society  demand  that  this  matter 
should  be  fully  elucidated." 

"  Mr.  Cliff  began  to  tell  me  a  most  interestmg  romance." 

"  A  romance  ?  " 

"  Yes  ;    or  a  narrative." 

"  What  was  its  purport  ?  " 

"  He  put  it  in  the  form  of  a  personal  experience.  He 
related    very  graphically  what  he  stated  were    the  facts 


SOME    TESTIMONY    FOR    THE    PROSECUTION.  253 

respecting  ocean  ;  that  across  the  ocean  was  a  countr\- 
similar  to  our  own  island,  though  vastly  larger  and  more 
beautiful,  and  that  he  himself  was  a  resident  of  that  coun- 
try, and  had  been  brought  hither  on  something — that — " 
Mr.  Smalls  hesitated. 

"  Brought  hither  how  .'' '' 

"  In  what  he  called  a  boat." 

"  A  boat !     What  is  that  ?  " 

"  I  do  not  know,"  replied  Mr.  Smalls,  gloomily.  "  Mr. 
Cliff  attempted  to  explain,  but  I  could  not  understand 
him." 

"  What  was  the  nature  of  his  explanation  ?  " 

"  He  said  that  this  boat  was — was — like — " 

"  Like  what  ?  " 

Mr.  Smalls  took  out  his  handkerchief.  "  He  said  it 
was — like — the  raft." 

There  was  a  deep  silence,  in  the  midst  of  which  I  heard 
a  hoarse  voice  on  the  bench  behind  me  whispering,  "  Atro- 
cious blasphemy.''  I  knew  the  voice.  It  was  Nudwink 
who  had  spoken.  At  last  the  attorney  recovered  himself 
and  proceeded. 

"  What  else  did  Mr.  Cliff  say  to  you  that  evening  ?  " 

"  He  told  me  that  I  need  not  fear ;  that  if  I  would  only 
believe  that  the  touch  of  the  ocean  spray  could  not  harm 
me  that  I  would  instantly  recover  ;  and  then  he  went  on 
to  state  that  he  had  repeatedly  been,  as  I  understood  him, 
covered  by  the  ocean  ;  that  he  had  done  something  in  it 
— swam  was,  if  I  recollect  right,  the  word — and  that  it 
was  a  mistaken  notion  that  sea-sickness  was  in  any  way  a 
dangerous  disease." 

"  Did  you  believe  him,  Mr.  Smalls  ?  " 

The  witness  smiled  sadly. 

"  How  could  I  ?  "  he  answered,  shaking  his  head. 


254  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

"  How  long  was  Mr.  Cliff  with  you  ?  " 

"  About  an  hour." 

"  And  then  did  he  go  away  ?  " 

"  He  left  the  house." 

"■  What  effect  did  this  singular  narrativ^e  have  upon 
you  ?  " 

"  For  some  time  after  Mr.  Cliff  left,  I  perhaps  ought, 
as  a  clergyman,  to  be  ashamed,  but  I  gave  myself  up  to 
unrestrained  mirth.  The  story  had  been  related  with 
such  seriousness  that  the  grotesque  and,  in  truth,  almost 
sacrilegious  absurdity  was  altogether  too  much  for  me  to 
resist.  I  laughed  immoderately,  and  when  my  mother 
and  Oliver  entered  the  room,  they  found  me  sitting  up 
in  bed  ;  the  excitement  had  actually  brought  back  my 
strength." 

"  Then  j^ou  attribute  your  recovery  to  the  effect  pro- 
duced upon  your  system  by  the  excitement  attendant 
upon  this  narrative  ?  " 

"  I  do  ;  I  must  say  that  I  attribute  it  chietiy  to  that." 

"  It  was  a  very  comical  story,"  said  the  attorney, 
gravely. 

"  It  would  all  be  comical,"  answered  Mr.  Smalls,  with 
a  sigh,  "if  it  were  not  so  sad," 

"  Was  it  a  stratagem,  do  you  think,  Mr.  Smalls,  in- 
tended to  produce  the  very  excitement  which  resulted, 
as  you  say,  in  your  restoration  to  health  ?  " 

"  I  might  have  thought  so,  but — but — that  is — if  I  had 
not  known — " 

The  attorney  smiled  a  cold,  hard,  sarcastic,  unfeeling 
smile.  "  You  need  say  no  more,  Mr.  Smalls,  I  under- 
stand fully  how  you  feel.     That  will  be  all." 

Mr.  Smalls  then  stepped  down,  and  soon  after  the 
court  adjourned.     I  was  visited    that   evening   again  by 


SOME    TESTIMONY    FOR    THE    PROSECUTION.  255 

Oliver,  who  brought  messages  of  love  from  Margerv. 
"Cheer  up,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  said,  "cheer  up;  all  is  noi 
lost  by  any  means  yet.  I  have  had  a  long  interview  with 
Mr.  Dash,  and  he  has  great  hopes  that  the  line  of 
defence  which  he  proposes  to  take  will  be  successful." 

"  What  line  is  that  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  He  would  not  divulge  it.  He  said  that  it  would  be 
made  known  in  due  time." 

"There  is  only  one  defence,"  said  I,  with  some  irrita- 
tion, thinking  with  what  scant  ceremony  Mr.  Dash  had 
put  my  views  and  wishes  aside. 

Oliver  said  nothing.  As  he  went  away,  he  handed  me 
a  paper.  "  I  brought  this  in  for  you  to  read  ;  perhaps  it 
may  interest  you  to  read  an  account  of  your  trial,  partic- 
ularly as  there  is  nothing  in  it  but  what  is  favorable 
to  your  case." 

I  was  in  no  mood  for  literature,  but  when  the  gas  was 
lighted  I  looked  over  the  journal,  and  inadvertently 
my  ej^es  rested  upon  this  in  the  advertising  supplement, 
all  in  the  largest  type  : 

•■  READ   THE    FUNNICOLLUM  1       READ    THE    FUNNICOLI.UM  ! 

Startling  developments  iti  the  trial  of  Mr.  Cliff  before  the  Sun 
Court. 


GET   THE    FUNNICOLLUM    AND    LIVE  ! 

A  witness  testifies  that  laughter  ?-estored  him  to  health. 


BUY   THE    FUNNICOLLUM  ! 

Dying  and  restored  to  life. 


BUY    THE    FUNNICOLLUM  ! 

Brought  back  from  thr  brink  of  the  grave. 


256  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

BUY   THE    FUNNICOLLUM  ! 

Better  than  physic.     Cheaper  than  doctors. 
Sure  cure  every  time. 


BUY   THE    FUNNICOLLUM  ! 

--///  newsdealers  keep  it  on  hand.     Price  only  o?ie  farthing. 

Only  knoivn  cure  for  sea-sickness.     No  family  can  afford 

to  do  zvithout  it.     Physicians  deny  its  virtues,  but 

this  is  a  recomme?idation.      Undertakers  are 

all  indignant,  but  the  invalids  are  content. 


BUY   THE    FUNNICOLLUM  ! 

If  your  nezusdealer  does  not  have  it,  forward  the  price  to 
publishers,  and  it  zvill  be  sent,  post-paid.'^ 

In  all  my  misery  and  perplexity  I  had  yet  preserved 
a  sense  of  humor  ;  but  I  felt  in  no  mood  for  laughter 
now.  Would  the  Punnicollum  avail  to  save  me  from  the 
dreadful  doom  towards  which  my  persecutors  were  hurry- 
ing me  ?  Alas  !  no.  What  terrible  irony  there  was  in  the 
gibes  and  slurs  of  these  agnostic  islanders.  The  only 
things  they  were  positively  certain  about  were  the  very 
ones  of  which  they  were,  indeed,  the  most  lamentably 
ignorant.  Enemies  and  friends  alike  refused  to  credit, 
for  one  instant,  the  solemn  assurance  that  I  was  not  mad. 
And  more,  they  alike  turned  deafly  away,  not  only  from 
my  protestations,  but  from  my  offers  of  proof.  How  easy 
it  would  be  to  convince  these  people  that  what  I  had 
said  respecting  the  salt  sea  which  they  called  death  was 
all  true.  I  told  Oliver  that  night  all  that  I  had  related 
to  Mr.  Dash,  and  begged  him  by  his  friendship,  and  by 
the    love    he   professed,    to   hear   me  ;  begged  him  with 


SOME    TESTIMONY    FOR    THE    PROSECUTION.  257 

tears,  and  he  had  deigned  me  only  the  response  of 
sympathy.  Oh  !  how  hollow  is  sympathy  alone  when  the 
helping  hand  is  withheld.  Yet,  bitterly  as  I  grieved,  I 
could  not  blame  Oliver,  for  I  was  now  convinced  that  he, 
too,  deemed  me  mad. 

As  I  lay  on  my  pallet,  wakeful,  almost  till  the  dawn, 
how  these  dreadful  thoughts  racked  and  ravened  upon 
ine.  Then  I  thought  of  my  own  dear  Margery.  It  had 
been  several  days  since  I  had  seen  her.  Was  it  possible 
that  she  could  be  ill  ?  How  heartless  it  had  been  of  me 
not  to  question  Oliver  more  closely.  Messages  of  love 
he  had,  indeed,  brought ;  messages  which  I  had,  without 
effort,  committed  to  memory — for  love  learns  easily  by 
heart — and  they  did,  indeed,  comfort  me.  I  revolved  in 
my  mind  the  events  of  the  day  in  the  court-room,  striving 
to  extract  some  little  comfort  out  of  all  that  dreadful 
trial,  and  going  over  and  over  the  testimony  against  me, 
bit  by  bit.  Alas  !  it  was  all  against  me.  Even  Oliver 
and  Mr.  Smalls,  grateful  as  the  latter  was  to  me,  had 
been  forced  to  witness  against  me.  Was  there  no  hope  .'' 
I  gnashed  my  teeth  and  cursed  :  I  cursed  Nudwink,  the 
professional  hypocrite,  and  I  cursed  Gallwood,  the  spe- 
cious villain,  through  whose  sinister  devices  I  saw  plainly, 
though  he  had  striven  to  disguise  them.  There  was  no 
hope.  When  the  strength  of  my  passion  subsided  I  lax 
for  awhile  in  a  state  of  torpor,  glaring  into  the  darkness. 
till  at  last  I  slept.  When  I  awoke  it  was  broad  day,  and 
I  heard  the  sound  of  the  matin  chimes  of  the  cathedral, 
floating  downward  from  the  great  tower  that  loomed  up 
through  the  foggy  morning,  as  I  looked  out  over  the  city 
roused  from  its  night's  repose. 

It  was  yet  quite  early.  I  dressed  myself  and  sat  at  the 
barred  casement,  listening  to  the  sonorous  music  of  the 
17 


258  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

chimes,  and  thinking,  thinking,  not  the  wild  anguish  of 
the  dreadful  thoughts  of  the  night,  but  the  calmer  whis- 
perings of  returning  day :  the  good  and  the  bad ;  the 
cold  and  the  heat ;  the  day  and  night ;  the  foul  and  fair. 
How  they  chase  and  change  with  one  another.  How 
they  alternate  in  the  sad,  gay,  sweet,  bitter  world  about 
us,  and  in  our  own  hearts  as  well.  So  thinking,  the  bad 
and  the  bitter,  and  the  chill  of  night  glided  away.  I 
thought  of  my  own  dear  love,  my  Margery,  and — the 
chimes  still  sweetly  swaying  sonorous  melody — the  tears 
filled  my  eyes.  I  thought  of  my  mother,  and  then  I  fell 
upon  my  knees,  there  by  the  window  facing  the  east,  and 
with  clasped  hands,  and  shut  eyes  streaming  with  de- 
spairing tears,  I  prayed  unto  that  good  father  of  us 
all,  who  holds  death,  like  the  sea,  in  his  hollowed  hand. 
Comforted,  I  at  last  opened  my  eyes,  and  the  sun,  risen 
from  the  sea,  smiled  at  me,  reflected  from  every  turret 
and  tower  of  all  the  city.  .,v^ 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

MORE    TESTIINIONY.  * 

"Ol^'^LLINGER  was  the  last  witness  examined  by  the 
^-^  prosecution.  He  testified  to  the  fact  of  his  incarcer- 
ation and  subsequent  release  upon  the  course  of  disci- 
pline, and  also  (this  was  new  to  me)  that  he  was  free, 
having  passed  the  examination  before  the  convalescent 
court,  in  this  case  consisting  solely  of  Gallwood,  and  was 
now  restored  to  the  full  rights  of  citizenship.  The  ex- 
amination proceeded. 

"  While  you  were  on  the  second  stage  of  the  course 
of  discipline,"  said  the  attorney,  "  were  you  detailed  as 
acting  assistant-superintendent  at  any  time  ? " 

"  I  was." 

"  By  commission  under  seal  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Have  you  that  commission  with  you  ? " 

Bullinger  produced  a  document.  The  attorney  took 
it,  and,  after  a  careful  perusal,  handed  it  to  the  court. 
His  Honor  read  it,  and  then  it  was  read  aloud,  after  being 
duly  marked  for  identification  by  the  clerk. 

The  commission  ran  thus  : 

*'  Asylum   of  Inquirendo. 
"  To  all  to  whom  these  presents  shall  come,  Greeting  : 

"  By  virtue  of  the  authority  conferred  upon  me  as 
assistant-governor  (now  acting  as  governor  of  the  asy- 
lum), I  hereby  designate  and  appoint  Richard  Bullinger, 
a  convalescent   on   the   second  stage   of   the  course  of 

259 


26o  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

discipline,  to  be  an  acting  assistant-superintendent,  with 
all  the  powers  of  said  office,  for  the  term  of  two  months 
from  the  date  hereof ;  and  he,  the  said  Bullinger,  is 
hereby  authorized  and  empowered  to  act  as  such  officer, 
and  is  hereby  detailed  on  special  duty  with  one  of  the 
convalescents,  also  upon  the  said  second  stage  of  the 
course  of  discipline,  to  wit :  with  one  John  Cliff,  a  sus- 
pect. It  is  hereby  made  the  duty  and  sole  task  of  the 
said  Bullinger  to  well  and  truly  perform  his  said  obliga- 
tions respecting  said  Cliff,  to  the  end  that  the  peace  of 
the  island  may  be  preserved,  and  all  needful  information 
duly  had  by  this  asylum  and  its  constituted  authorities. 

"  In   testimony   whereof,    I   have    hereunto 
[seal]  signed  my  name  as  acting  governor  of 

the  asylum,  and  affixed  the  seal  thereof. 
"  Roth  Gallwood. 

^^  Acting  Governor." 

I  listened  to  the  reading  of  this  rascally  document  with 
a  mingling  of  astonishment  and  indignation.  Before  the 
clerk  had  finished,  the  purport  of  the  villany  was  appar- 
ent. I  leaned  over  and  whispered  to  my  counsel,  telling 
him  the  facts  as  I  knew  them. 

"  Did  you  have  a  commission  to  watch  Bullinger  ?  "  he 
asked,  coldly. 

"  Mr.  Gallwood  gave  me  authority,"  I  replied. 

"  Verbal  authority  ?  " 

"Yes." 

"  Perfectly  valueless,"  said  Mr.  Dash  ;  "  a  commission, 
to  be  of  any  binding  validity,  must  be  in  writing  and 
have  affixed  to  it  the  seal  of  the  asylum." 

"  But  I  was  not  aware  of  that  fact,"  I  interposed,  "  my 
action  was  in  perfect  good  faith — " 

"No  doubt,  no  doubt,  Mr.  Cliff.     I  am  not  disputing 


MORE    TESTIMONY.  261 

your  good  faith  ;  but  you  must  remember  the  maxim  of 
the  law,  that  ignorance  thereof  excuses  no  man." 

I  turned  away  in  great  disgust,  and  Bullinger,  not 
without  some  manifest  embarrassment,  continued  telling 
how  he  had  accompanied  me  to  the  village  on  the  coast, 
and  had  (this  was  the  purport  of  it  all)  acted  as  a  spy 
from  first  to  last  upon  my  actions. 

"  Did  you  ever  have  any  private  conversation  with  Mr. 
ClifT  respecting  his  views  on  death  ?  " 

"  I  did,"  responded  Bullinger. 

"  Relate  what  passed  between  you." 

Bullinger  told  the  substance  of  my  proposition  to 
demonstrate  to  him  the  harmlessness  of  the  salt  water, 
by  going  down  to  the  beach  and  taking  a  plunge. 

There  was  an  audible  snicker  upon  some  of  the  back 
benches,  the  attorney  chuckled,  Bullinger  himself  smiled, 
and  even  the  sedate  judge  so  far  forgot  his  dignity  as  to 
give  utterance  to  a  laugh  which,  however,  he  promptly 
suppressed.  My  own  counsel  turned  savagelv  round 
and  glared  at  me  contemptuously.  Then  shaking  his 
shoulders  vigorously,  he  resumed  his  impassive  demeanor. 

"Was  this  said  jokingly,  Mr.  Bullinger.?  "  inquired  the 
attorney. 

*'  On  the  contrary,  it  was  said  with  great  seriousness." 

"  How  did  the  subject  arise  ?  " 

"  It  was  in  reference  to  Mr.  Smalls." 

"  Did  he  speak  of  the  faith-cure  ?  " 

"  Yes  ;  it  was  on  that  special  subject  that  Mr.  Cliff  was 
speaking.  He  said  that  his  faith-cure  consisted  solely  in 
convincing  Mr.  Smalls  that  there  was  in  reality  no  danger 
to  be  apprehended  from  the  sea." 

"  In  this  same  conversation,  was  any  other  subject 
introduced  ?  " 


262  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"Oh,  yes." 

"  Any  subject  whereon  the  views  expressed  by  Mr. 
Cliff  were  of  a  dangerous  character  ? " 

"  Yes." 

"  What  was  that  subject  ?  " 

"  He  began  talking  about  the  Arithmetic." 

"  What  did  he  say  ?  " 

"  He  said  a  great  deal  that  was  wild  and  extravagant, 
and  that  indicated  manifest  unsoundness  of  intellect. 
Perhaps  the  most  extraordinary  thing  that  he  said  was 
that  the  Arithmetic  was  not  a  work  teaching  morals ;  but 
was,  in  fact — as  I  understood  him — a  scientific  treatise." 

"  Scientific  ?  "  said  the  attorney,  with  a  pitying  smile, 
"  how  did  he  explain  that  ?  " 

Mr.  Bullinger  also  smiled. 

"  I  hardly  think  what  he  said  could  be  called  an  expla- 
nation," said  he. 

"  Perhaps  not.  What  was  his  attempt  at  an  explana- 
tion ? " 

"  He  said  a  great  deal  about  Numbers  and  figures 
being  the  same,  and  then  he  went  on  to  say  that  our 
methods  of  computation  were  all  wrong,  and  that  this 
book  was  nothing  but  an  account  of  a  better  way.  All 
he  said  was  so  wild  that  I  can  hardly  pretend  to  relate 
precisely  what  he  did  say.  One  thing  I  remember  dis- 
tinctly :  he  said  that  a  cipher  had  a  value — that  it  was 
nothing,  and  yet  had  a  value.  Of  course  I  manifested 
some  incredulity,  and  he  went  on  about  putting  a  cipher 
after  one,  which,  he  said,  made  ten." 

"  The  Arch  ten  ?  "  . 

"  He  only  said  ten  ;  but  I  suppose  he  meant  the  Arch 
ten." 

"  Did  you  not  think  that  absurd  } " 


MORE   TESTIMONY.  263 

"  Of  course." 

"  Did  he  say  anything  further  ?  " 

"  He  maundered  on,  mixing  things  up  terribly ;  said 
that  Numbers  was  not  a  man,  and  finally,  after  all  his 
absurdities,  finished  by  declaring  that  the  value  of  a 
cipher  depended  entirely  upon  its  distance  from  the 
decimal  point." 

"  Well,"  said  the  attorney,  "  that  was  orthodox,  or,  at 
least,  good  decimal  doctrine  ;  was  it  not .''  " 

"  Certainly,  so  far  as  that  went." 

"  Can  you  recall  an\  thing  further  bearing  upon  the 
subject  of  Mr.  Cliff's  eccentricities — to  use  a  mild  term  ? " 

"  That  appears  to  be  all." 

"Then  that  will  be  sufficient,  Mr.  Bullinger." 

The  witness  stepped  down,  and,  after  turning  over  his 
papers  for  several  minutes,  the  attorney  intimated  that 
the  case  for  the  prosecution  had  closed. 

Mr.  Dash  arose. 

In  his  address  which  followed  he  was  ver}'  learned, 
very  dignified,  very  earnest,  and  very  emphatic;  but  he 
was  very  far  from  satisfying  me.  He  concluded  by  stal- 
ing that  he  rested  his  case  upon  an  ancient  maxim  of 
law,  which  he  would  briefly  state  in  legal  language  as 
the  defensus  jokatidi ;  and  that  he  would  not  take  up  the 
time  of  the  court,  but  would  forthwith  call  his  witnesses. 
A  conference  between  Mr.  Dash  and  the  clerk  was  then 
held,  some  papers  passed,  and  the  latter  called  for  "  Dr. 
Scatterbrain." 

A  tall,  pompous,  austere  individual,  with  glasses  and 
scanty  gray  hair,  and  a  benevolent  expression  of  coun- 
tenance in  spite  of  his  austerity,  took  the  chair. 

After  the  usual  formula,  Mr.  Dash  put  the  following 
interrogatory  :  "  On  the  supposition  that  a  person  on  the 


264  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND, 

second  stage  of  the  course  of  discipline  had  a  friend 
suffering  from  sea-sickness,  and  that  this  friend  was  lying 
ill  in  a  house  outside  of,  but  near  the  boundary  of,  and 
adjacent  to  the  third  department;  that  this  invalid  was 
an  integer,  having  a  belief  in  a  faith-cure,  and  that  the 
person  first  herein  referred  to  was  desirous  of  effecting 
a  cure  of  his  said  friend,  the  integer;  also,  on  the  further 
supposition,  that  the  said  person  on  the  said  course  of 
discipline  did  cross  the  limits  of  the  third  department, 
and  did  visit  his  said  friend  and  related  an  amusing 
story,  and  that  the  said  friend,  being  an  integer,  did 
laugh  immoderately  and  did  subsequently  recover ;  also, 
on  the  supposition  that  the  said  person  on  the  said  course 
of  discipline  did  afterwards,  in  conversation,  but  before 
the  complete  and  entire  cure  of  the  said  sea-sick  person 
was  effected,  tell  again  the  same  or  a  similar  humorous 
story — a  story  so  wild  and  improbable  as  to  preclude  the 
thought  of  seriousness  ;  what,  in  view  of  all  these  facts 
and  conditions  as  hereinbefore  stated,  what  was  the 
state  of  mind  of  the  said  person  on  said  second  stage 
of  said  course  of  discipline,  as  regards  sanity  ?  " 

There  was  a  profound  stillness. 

Dr.  Scatterbrain  rubbed  his  forehead  for  an  instant, 
reflectively. 

"  I  did  not  quite  catch  the  import  of  a  portion  of  the 
query  ;  please  state  it  again." 

Mr.  Dash  braced  himself. 

"  On  the  supposition — "  he  began ;  and  to  save  time 
I  may  as  well  state  that  he  went  through  with  the  ques- 
tion again  from  beginning  to  end.  This  time  the  witness 
had  his  answer  ready  : 

"  The  man  was  unquestionably  sane." 

The  rest  of  the  mornii^'r  hour  was  devoted  to  an  exam- 


MORE   TESTIMONY.  265 

ination  of  sundry  otlier  eminent  doctors,  with  whom,  it  is 
to  be  presumed,  Mr.  Dash  had  previously  put  himself  in 
communication.  The  same  hypothetical  question  was 
asked  of  each,  and  tlie  same  response  in  substance  was 
in  every  case  elicited.  In  several  instances  the  question 
had  to  be  repeated,  so  that  after  a  time  it  became  tire- 
some, and  I  was,  moreover,  fully  persuaded  that  Mr, 
Dash  was  not  pursuing  the  proper  course  in  my  defence. 

At  the  noon  recess,  I  intimated  as  much  to  him.  Mr. 
Dash  was  of  an  irascible  disposition. 

"  Good  Mathematics  !  "  he  exclaimed,  testily,  "  what 
do  you  know  about  law  .-'  " 

I  admitted  meekly  that  I  did  not  know  much. 

"And  yet  you  presume  to  dictate  to  me." 

"Oh,  no,  I  only  suggest." 

"A  suggestion  is  often  covert  dictation,"  said  Mr. 
Dash,  epigrammatically.  "Rely  upon  it,  Mr.  Cliff,  I  am 
making  the  only  possible  defence  :  the  dcfcnsus  jokandi^ 
or,  as  it  is  termed  colloquially,  the  plea  of  emotional 
sanity,  is  the  only  one  that  the  court  can  be  made  to 
listen  to,  and,  I  must  tell  you,  Mr.  Clifif,  the  result  of 
even  this  is  very  doubtful."  Mr.  Dash,  it  was  evident, 
took  a  gloomy  view  of  the  case,  and,  it  may  as  well  be 
confessed,  so  also  did  I, 

"  When  am  I  to  be  examined,  Mr.  Dash  ? "  I  asked, 
just  before  the  court  re-opened. 

"  Not  at  all,  Mr.  Cliff,"  he  responded,  emphatically, 
"  not  at  all ;  it  would  be  the  height  of  folly." 

We  all  filed  into  the  court-room  soon  after,  and  the 
tiresome  examination  of  the  doctors  was  again  begun. 

At  the  end  of  an  hour  Mr.  Dash  had  finished,  and 
ver)-  tired  he  sat  down,  after  making  a  motion  that  the 
arguments  should  be  deferred  until  the  next  day. 


266  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

The  judge  very  promptly  denied  the  motion,  and 
between  the  speech  of  the  attorney,  a  string  of  meaning- 
less nonsense  and  vituperation,  and  that  of  Mr.  Dash, 
who  only  left  out  the  vituperation,  the  remainder  of  the 
afternoon  was  wasted. 

The  judge  was  manifestly  vexed  that  the  case  could 
not  have  been  closed  that  day  (I  learned  afterwards  that 
his  wife's  mother  was  stopping  with  him,  and  that  he  had, 
on  this  account,  arranged  to  take  a  run  into  the  fifth 
department).  He  made  one  or  two  efforts  to  stop  the 
flow  of  Mr.  Dash's  eloquence,  and  several  suggestions 
that  he  should  confine  himself  to  the  subject. 

These  interruptions  had  only  the  effect  to  nettle  my 
counsel,  who  prolonged  his  harangue  until  it  was  too  late 
for  the  judge  to  start  on  his  journey.  I  may  be  in  error ; 
I  do  not  wish  even  to  appear  to  be  doing  an  injustice  to 
Judge  Knowitz,  who  stands  deservedly  high  in  the  esti- 
mation of  the  legal  fraternity  of  Inquirendo ;  but  perhaps 
it  is  calculated  to  destroy  the  delicate  balance  of  the 
faculties  so  necessary  in  a  jurist,  to  pass  any  length  of 
time  in  company  with  a  mother-in-law  ;  although,  as  one 
of  Inquirendo's  poets  sweetly  sings,  "  it  depends  entirely 
upon  the  character  of  the  mother-in-law." 

The  next  morning,  promptly  on  time,  the  judge  took  his 
seat  upon  the  bench,  and  after  some  preliminaries  he  be- 
gan his  opinion. 

"  The  court,"  he  said,  "  sitting  as  a  court  of  equity,  and 
empowered  to  try  matters  of  fact  as  well  as  matters  of  law, 
has  first  to  consider  its  own  limitations.  These  limita- 
tions naturally  divide  themselves  into  three  co-ordinate 
branches  :  limitations  applied  to  the  accused  ;  those  which 
apply  to  the  law  as  law ;  and  those  which  apply  solely  to 
the  mind  of  the   court   itself.     Equity  is  the  correction  of 


MORE   TESTIMONY.  267 

that  wherein  the  law  is  deficient.  Now  in  this  case  it  does 
not  appear — no  attempt  has  been  made  to  make  it  appear 
— that  the  law  is  in  any  wise  deficient.  On  the  contrary,  it 
seems  to  be  admitted  that,  so  far  as  the  law  extends,  there  is 
no  imperfection  or  deficiency  whatsoever.  The  law  de- 
sci  ibes  the  exact  crime  which  the  accused  has  been  shown 
to  have  committed.  The  accused  does  not  deny  the  facts, 
and  his  counsel  has  made  no  pretence  of  denying  them  for 
him.  The  law  imposes  a  penalty,  and  prescribes  the 
mode  of  execution  of  said  penalty  fully.  Thus  far  there 
is  no  doubt  or  hesitation  in  the  mind  of  the  court.  If  the 
court  is,  under  the  law,  bound  to  render  his  decision  ac- 
cording to  the  law,  then  the  court  has  no  alternative  but  to 
render  the  only  judgment  that  the  law  permits  ;  that  judg- 
ment would  be  then  of  necessity  :  Guilty  of  noncompos- 
mentiveness,  and  the  penalty  thereof  would  be,  as  a  matter 
of  law,  death. 

"  But — "  here  the  judge  made  a  very  impressive  pause 
and  looked  around  the  court-room  over  the  top  of  his  spec, 
tacles  benignantly ;  so  much  so  indeed  that  I  took  heart 
and  began  to  think,  after  all,  that  it  was  just  possible  that 
his  Honor  might  be  wise  enough,  or  simple  enough,  to  let 
me  off  easy. 

"  But,"  he  repeated,  emphatically,  "  the  court  is  debarred 
from  rendering  a  decision  of  this  character  upon  the  sole 
question  of  law.  Why  ?  Simply  because  an  issue  of  equity 
is  set  up  in  the  answer  to  the  state's  complaint,  and  in  that 
issue  a  plea  is  advanced,  which  the  court  is  bound  to  con- 
sider, however  extravagant,  and  in  a  statutory  sense  obso- 
lete, that  defence  may  be.  This  plea  is,  to  state  it  briefly, 
the  defensus  jokandi,  or,  as  it  is  now  more  commonly 
termed,  the  plea  of  emotional  sanity.  I  say  that  this  plea 
is  obsolete,  as  there  is  no  instance  on  record  of  its  having 


268  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

been  advanced  for  many  years.  In  effect,  this  plea, 
if  sustained  by  the  evidence,  is  a  complete  bar  to  further 
proceedings,  and  the  court  would  have  no  alternative 
but  to  release  the  accused.  The  eminent  counsel  who 
now  defends  Mr.  Cliff  has  done  wisely  in  presenting  it,  in- 
asmuch as  it  was  beyond  doubt  the  only  tenable  plea  in 
Mr.  Cliff's  case" — my  spirits  rose — "if  a;/^' were  tenable," 
the  judge  added,  after  a  pause,  in  a  low  tone,  and  again 
my  heart  sank. 

"The  court  has  made  allusion  to  certain  limitations," 
continued  the  judge.  "  Two  have  been  considered  :  those 
applying  to  the  law  and  those  applying  to  the  court  itself. 
It  remains  now  only  to  consider  those  which  have  direct 
application  to  the  accused,  and  these  are  but  two  in  num- 
ber :  the  alleged  contumacy ;  evinced,  if  at  all,  by  Mr. 
Cliff's  leaving  the  third  department  without  a  pass  ;  and 
inconsistency,  in  making  a  pretence  of  being  a  mixed  num- 
ber or  like  a  mixed  number,  for  the  two  terms  are  synon- 
ymous, and  feigning  to  perform  a  faith-cure  while  admit- 
ting that  his  convictions  coincided  with  those  of  Mr.  Hurt- 
heart.  The  court  disregards  the  evidence  touching  the 
subject  of  death  and  the  Arithmetic  as  having  no  bear- 
ing whatever  upon  the  case,  and  confines  itself  entirely 
to  a  consideration  of  the  two  subjects,  contumacy  and 
inconsistency.  Was  Mr.  Cliff  contumacious  ?  This  de- 
pends upon  the  state  of  his  mind  at  the  time.  An  act 
may  be  perfectly  innocent  and  yet  contrary  to  statute. 
The  question  to  be  considered  in  this  instance  is  :  What 
was  the  state  of  Mr.  Cliff's  mind  at  the  time  that  he 
went  to  Lunatico  Villa  ?  Did  he  go  there  under  the  as- 
sured conviction  that  he  was  acting  rightly,  and  for  the 
good  of  humanity,  or  was  it  through  a  contumacious  dis- 
regard of  authority  that  he  visited  Mr.  Smalls  ? 


MORE   TESTIMONY.  269 

"After  much  anxious  deliberation,  and  having  all  the 
time  in  view  the  good  of  society  as  a  whole,  the  court  is 
constrained  to  pass  judgment  on  this  specification  in  fa- 
vor of  the  accused.     He  was  not  contumacious." 

My  heart  gave  a  great  bound  of  joy,  and  there  were 
some  evidences  of  satisfaction  upon  the  benches  back  of 
me  ;  but  these  being  promptly  suppressed,  the  judge  con- 
tinued :  "  In  arriving  at  this  decision  in  this  respect  no  at- 
tention whatever  is  paid  to  the  ways  and  means — in  the 
case  of  the  alleged  faith-cure — by  which  Mr.  Cliff  is  as- 
serted to  have  tried  to  put  his  benevolent  object  into  prac- 
tice. It  is  sufficient  for  the  court  that  there  was  a  benev- 
olent object  in  view,  and  as  the  whole  spirit  of  Iquirendian 
law"  has  the  good  of  the  public  for  its  underlying  motiv^e, 
this  assumption  is  clearly  justified. 

"  Let  us  now  advance  to  a  consideration  of  the  second 
specification  :  inconsistency.  Was  Mr.  Cliff  inconsistent? 
The  controlling  evidence  here  is  that  of  Mr.  Cliff's  friend, 
Mr.  Oliver,  who  has  testified  in  unmistakable  terms  to  cer- 
tain declarations  made  by  the  accused,  having  reference  to 
his  mixed  condition,  and  also  the  testimony  of  another 
friend,  Mr.  Gallwood,  to  whose  distinct  and  positive  dec- 
laration I  desire  to  draw  attention.  The  question  was 
asked:  'Did  Mr.  Cliff  express  any  opinion  respecting  the 
truth  of  what  Mr.  Hurtheart  said  ?  A.  He  did  ;  he  stated 
that  he  approved  of  Mr.  Hurtheart's  doctrine.' 

"  Neither  of  these  declarations  has  been  controverted, 
and  they  therefore  stand  in  their  full  force.  On  this  subject 
of  inconsistency,  there  is  one  portion  of  the  proof  that 
adds  weight  to  the  conviction  in  the  mind  of  the  court ; 
it  is  this,  that  Mr.  Cliff  did  not  propose  to  use  oil  of  any 
kind  in  his  so-called  faith-cure,  although  it  is  a  matter  of 


276  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

record  that  oil  in  abundance  and  of  all  kinds  had  been 
provided. 

"As  an  answer  to  the  charges  against  him,  the  accused, 
through  his  counsel,  attempted  to  set  up  the  defence  of 
emotional  sanity — '  that  all  he  did  was  a  joke,  and  that  all 
he  said  was  in  fun.'  The  answer  to  this  is,  that  the  proof 
does  not  come  up  to  it,  and  in  the  second  place  it  would 
not  be  a  good  defence  if  it  did.  The  accused  attempted 
to  establish  the  dcfensus  jokandi,  and  failed.  It  is  true,  in- 
stances were  hypothetically  established,  most  ingeniously, 
whereby  several  learned  physicians  were  made  to  testify 
affirmatively  as  to  their  belief  in  Mr.  ClifT's  sanity  ;  but  this 
in  the  meaning  of  the  statute  does  not  constitute  a  good 
defence.  It  is  the  opinion  of  the  court,  therefore,  that 
Mr.  Cliff  has  been  clearly  guilty  of  inconsistency,  and 
therefore  the  court  does  pronounce  him  of  the  charge  of 
noncomposmentiveness — guilty." 

I  was  shocked  ;  but,  after  all  that  the  judge  had  pre- 
viously said,  not  greatly  surprised.  I  did  not  think  that 
his  Honor  had  been  very  tender  to  my  feelings  in  raising 
my  hopes  at  times,  only  immediately  after  to  shatter  thetn. 
The  judgment  had  now  been  pronounced,  and  at  least  I 
was  relieved  from  the  anxiety  attendant  upon  uncertainty. 

The  attorney  at  once  moved  for  sentence.;  but  Mr. 
Dash  had  been  almost  equally  spry  in  his  motion  for  a 
new  trial. 

The  judge  decided  to  hear  my  counsel's  motion  first. 

"  Do  you  ask  for  a  new  trial  on  the  ground  of  newly- 
discovered  evidence  ?  "  said  the  judge. 

"  No,  your  Honor,"  replied  Mr.  Dash,  promptly,  "on  the 
ground  that  your  Honor's  decision  is  contrary  to  the 
weight  of  evidence,  and  on  the  further  ground  that  your 
Honor  erred  in  not  admitting:  evidence  touching  the  matter 


MORE    TESTIMONY.  27  I 

of  death  and  of  the  Arithmetic.  We  hold  that  your 
Honor's  mind  ought  to  have  been  influenced  by  the  con- 
versations on  these  two  topics,  as  in  his  e.xtravagant 
utterances  Mr.  Cliff  was  plainly  only  in  fun  ;  and  that 
thereby  the  defcnsus  jokmidi  was  established  beyond  a 
reasonable  doubt." 

Mr.  Dash  then  sat  down,  and  the  attorney  replied  in  a 
long,  verbose  and  tiresome  argument. 

When  he  concluded,  the  judge  instantly  denied  a  new 
trial,  and  at  once  the  attorney  renewed  his  motion  for 
sentence. 

This  was  granted,  and  the  clerk,  stepping  forward,  called 
upon  me  to  stand  up,  which  I  did,  and  was  then  asked  if 
I  had  anything  to  say  why  the  sentence  of  the  court 
should  not  be  pronounced.  Before  I  could  reply  Mr. 
Dash  sprang  up  and  answered  for  me  :  "  INIy  client  appeals 
to  the  General  Term,  but  has  nothing  further  to  say  now." 

I  beckoned  to  hini  hastily.  "  What  is  the  reason  that  I 
cannot  make  my  offer  now?"  I  asked. 

"  What  offer  \  " 

"  About  my  boat." 

"Bosh!"  e.xclaimed  Mr.  Dash,  irritably,  "  I  don't  like 
trifling." 

"  If  I  were  allowed  to  build  a  coffer — "  I  was  going  on, 
but  my  counsel  turned  away  angrily.  I  was  angry  myself 
at  his  indifference,  and  finished  the  sentence  for  my  own 
satisfaction. 

"  Damn  !  "  I  said. 

The  judge  now  reached  under  his  desk,  brought  forth 
and  donned  a  great  green  cap  (green  being  the  color  of 
the  sea\  and  in  a  solemn  voice  sentenced  me  to  death, 
fixing  the  day  of  my  execution,  and  commending  my  soul 
to  Mathematics. 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 


TO   THE    UNKNOWN    GOD. 


ONLY  ten  days  now  intervened  between  me  and  the 
hereafter ;  only  ten  between  life  and  death.  I  was 
conducted  back  to  my  desolate  cell,  where  in  alternate 
agony  and  apathy  the  night  passed  sleepless  over  me. 
Day  dawned  again,  the  first  of  the  terrible  ten,  each  one 
of  which  was  to  be  fuller  and  yet  more  full  of  bitterness  ; 
and  yet  not  so,  for  with  Margery's  coming,  and  the  conso- 
lation her  dear  presence  brought,  hope  revived.  In  due 
course  of  law  Mr.  Dash  filed  his  bill  of  exceptions,  and 
made  his  appeal  to  the  General  Term.  Judge  Bounce 
heard  the  arguments  and  took  the  papers  ;  but  the  day 
after  handed  down  his  opinion,  and  that  opinion  was 
adverse.  Judge  Knowitz's  rulings  were  sustained  in 
every  particular.  Oliver  was  with  me  often.  Dr.  Setbon 
also  came,  and  once  Mr.  Smalls  visited  me.  This  was  the 
second  day  after  the  judgment  had  been  pronounced. 
Oliver  came  with  him,  and  the  two  with  gentle  exhorta- 
tions strove  to  lift  my  thoughts  to  a  consideration  of  what 
they  regarded  as  my  soul's  safety.  Thev  both  earnestly 
implored  me  to  submit  myself  to  the  ministrations  of  the 
church  and  to  allow  the  rite  of  cancellation  to  be  ad- 
ministered. 

They  brought  Arithmetics  and  read  passages  from  these* 
and  the  commentaries,  and  implored  me  to  take  heed  lest 
I   should   be  a  castaway.     I  earnestly  sympathized  with 

272 


TO   THE    UNKNOWN    GOD," 


-7o 


them  in  their  well  meant  efforts,  and  yet  I  could  not 
ijiing  myself  to  pretend  a  belief  that  I  did  not  feel, 
i'hey  brought  paper,  and  ink,  and  pens,  and  when  at  last 
t!iey  left  me  it  was  with  an  expression  of  strong  desire 
that  I  would  write  down  the  confession  of  my  sins  that 
they  deemed  essential,  and  thereby  prepare  the  written 
solution  as  a  prelude  to  the  last  solemn  ordinance. 
Much  as  I  desired  to  please  my  friends  I  could  not  bring 
myself  to  do  this.  It  is  true  that  I  saw  in  it  no  sin,  and 
yet  my  conscience  revolted  from  an  act  that  I  could  not 
but  regard  as  almost  blasphemous.  They  went  away 
greatly  troubled  for  my  spiritual  welfare,  and  tearfully  ex- 
pressing a  hope  that  I  might  be  led  in  the  way  of  truth. 

The  next  day  was  the  Sabbath.  I  was  awakened  early 
by  the  usual  matin  chorus  of  the  cathedral  bells.  The 
morning  wore  on,  and  at  the  customary  hour  I  received  a 
summons  to  attend  service  in  the  hall  below.  As  I  took 
my  seat  I  saw  to  my  great  horror  that  the  hypocritical  Nud- 
wink  was  the  officiating  minister.  I  implored  the  attend- 
ant to  allow  me  to  return  to  my  cell,  but  he  was  inflex- 
ible. He  could  not  disregard  his  orders,  he  declared. 
It  was  my  last  Sabbath  upon  the  island,  and  it  behoved 
me  to  think  upon  my  latter  end.  So,  in  great  horror,  I 
sat  through  that  awful  service  and  that  awful  sermon. 
With  singular  poor  taste,  as  I  thought,  Nudwink  selected 
as  his  text  what  he  claimed  was  a  fitting  and  appropriate 
passage  :  "  Cut  off  the  ciphers  from  the  right  of  the  Divi- 
sor." He  had  a  poor  delivery,  but  there  was  plenty  of  it 
such  as  it  was.  He  was  tremendously  emphatic,  and 
swung  his  arms,  and  shouted,  and  pounded  the  cushions 
in  a  truly  orthodox  way.  He  made  one  or  two  pointed 
references  to  myself  which  I  felt  might  have  been  omitted 
without  offence,  and  whenever  he  did  so  I  became  the 
i8 


274  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

target  for  the  eyes  of  all  present.  I  sat  bolt  upright 
through  all  that  awful  two  hours,  and  w^hen  at  last  the 
discourse  was  over  it  was  with  a  feeling  of  unutterable 
relief  that  I  was  permitted  to  be  alone  once  more. 
Hardly  had  I  seated  myself  by  the  grated  window,  when 
there  was  a  rap  at  my  cell  door,  the  bolts  were  shot  back, 
the  door  swung  open,  and  there  by  the  side  of  my  sombre- 
visaged  jailer  stood  the  yet  more  sad-faced  Nudwink.  I 
was  not  pleased  to  see  him.  Doubtless  my  manner  indi- 
cated as  much,  perhaps  more ;  for  Nudwink  did  not  ad- 
vance beyond  the  door-sill. 

"  My  poor  misguided  young  friend,"  said  Nudwink, 
lachrymosely,  "  I  have  deemed  it  my  bounden  duty  to 
make  one  last  effort  on  your  behalf.  To  that  end  I  have 
sought  you  here.  May  I  be  permitted  to  call  your  atten- 
tion to  the  fact  that  this  is  your  last  Sabbath  upon  the 
island?" 

"  I  have  had  my  attention  called  to  that  fact  several 
times,"  I  responded,  irritably.  "  I  have  no  means  handy 
to  prevent  your  calling  it  again." 

"  I  feel  concerned  for  your  welfare,  young  man,  deeply 
concerned.  Can  I  not  persuade  you  to  give  over  your 
frivolity  and  to  fix  your  mind  upon  a  consideration  of  the 
truth  ? " 

"  Nudwink,"  said  I,  turning  round  and  glaring  at  him, 
"you  are  a  confounded  old  scamp." 

"  Persecuted  for  Mathematics'  sake,"  murmured  Nud- 
wink, "yet  must  I  not  be  weary.     Mr.  Cliff!" 

"Well." 

"  Will  nothing  move  you  ?" 

"  I  wish  something  would  move  you,"  I  muttered. 
Then  a  thought  struck  me.  "  Come  in,  Nudwink,"  I 
added  aloud,  "don't  stand  there  in  the  draft," 


"to  the  unknown  god."  275 

Nudwink  crossed  the  threshold.  Quick  as  lightning  I 
got  up  and  made  a  bolt  for  him,  I  raised  my  leg.  Nud- 
wink was  spry,  but  by  good  luck  I  managed  to  give  him, 
as  he  turned  to  flee,  one  hearty  kick  in  that  portion  of  his 
person  which  I  shall  designate  (I  was  something  of  a 
yachtsman)  the  starboard  quarter.  Unfortunately  I  was 
only  provided  with  slippers;  but  no  act  of  my  life  gave 
me  more  real  satisfaction  than  that  kick. 

Nudwink  skipped  nimbly  out  of  the  door,  which  the  at- 
tendant promptly  shut  after  him,  and  I  was  vexed  by  the 
foulness  of  his  hypocritical  professions  no  more. 

That  evening,  at  dusk,  I  saw  once  more  my  Margery, 
With  many  sobs,  clinging  to  me,  she  told  of  the  illness 
that  had  kept  her  from  my  side, 

"  111  I  have  you  been  ill,  my  darling  ?  "  I  said,  and  look- 
ing in  her  tear-stained  face  I  saw  how  pale  she  was. 

"Yes,  I  have  been  ill,  dear  John  ;  but  I  have  sent  you 
messages  every  day  ;  Oliver  brought  them,  did  he  not  ?  " 

"Oh,  yes,  Oliver  has  been  very  kind  ;  still  I  have  won- 
dered, dearest,  why  you  did  not  come." 

"  I  made  Oliver  promise  that  he  would  say  nothing  of 
my  having  been  ill;  but  I  am  better  now,  dear.  I  could 
not  let  this  Sabbath  pass  without  coming  to  you.  I  want 
to  ask  you,  my  own,  for  my  sake  to  try  and  prepare  for 
the — the — "  she  broke  out  into  bitter  sobs  :  then  thrf)wing 
her  arms  about  me  she  wailed,  "  Oh,  how  can  I  bear  to 
part  with  you,  mv  darling  love.  We  must  meet  again. 
There  is  a  better  land  than  this,  John,  where  there  will  be 
no  more  parting.     Shal.l  we  not  meet  there  ?  " 

"  Ah  !  I  hope  so,  dearest  Margery,  It  is  my  fondest 
hope  that  in  that  better  countr)^  we  may  meet  again." 

"  Rut  how  can  we  meet  if  you  are  not  prepared .'' " 

"  I  trust  I  am  prepared,"  I  said,  fervently. 


276  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

She  wept  again. 

"  Why  should  you  grieve,  darling  ?  "  I  said,  pressing  my 
lips  to  her  cheek.  "  This  world  is  full  of  sorrow.  In  that 
other  happier  home  we  two  may  be  again  together." 

Margery  shuddered  visibly. 

"Yet  Oliver  tells  me,  John,  that  you  will  not  be  can- 
celled." 

"  Cancellation  is  that  of  the  heart,"  I  responded. 

"  Are  you  a  Multiplier,  John  ?  "  she  asked,  looking  up 
into  my  eyes.  '*  If  so,  I  can  send  Mr.  Straitlace.  I  know 
him ;  he  would  gladly  come.  And  yet,"  she  added,  cast- 
ing down  her  eyes,  "  I  understood  that  you  told  Oliver  you 
were  a  mixed  number.  I  did  hope  that  you  were.  If  you 
would  only  be  cancelled  what  a  great  joy  I  should  feel." 

"  Dearest,"  I  said,  greatly  troubled,  "  I  would  do  any- 
thing for  your  sake." 

"  Can  you  not  do  that  one  thing  ? "  she  exclaimed. 
"  Can  you  not  realize  that  if  you  are  not  cancelled  we 
shall  never  meet  again  ?  " 

I  made  a  motion  towards  the  table.  "  There,  dearest, 
are  the  paper,  and  pens,  and  ink  which  Oliver  and  Mr. 
Smalls  left  for  me.  It  was  hard  to  resist  their  importuni- 
ties ;  how  much  harder  is  it  to  resist  yours." 

"  Can  you  not  believe  in  the  written  solution  ? " 

"  No,  darling,  I  cannot,  and  never  can." 

"  But  that  matters  not ;  the  mental  solution  will  avail. 
Mr.  Nudwink — " 

"  Do  not  mention  that  odious  fellow's  name,"  I  said, 
perhaps  a  little  sharply  :  "  he  is  a  villain." 

"  Oh,  no,  John,  he  is  an  earnest,  consistent  mathemati' 
cian.  He  is  always  going  about  doing  good.  Has  he 
not  been  to  you  ?  He  promised  that  he  would  come  anc^ 
labor  with  you.     Has  he  not  done  so  ?  " 


TO    THE    UNKNOWN    GOD. 


277 


"Yes,  he  was  here  after  the  service  this  morning,"  1 
answered,  ruefully,  "  but  I  think  it  was  I  who  did  all  the 
labor — " 

"  Would  you  not  listen  to  him,  John  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  I  listened." 

"  Could  he  not  touch  your  heart .-'  " 

"  Dearest,  it  is  you  alone  who  can  touch  my  heart.  I 
feel  the  most  profound  assurance  that  no  cancellation  or 
solution  will  avail  for  me.  And  yet  I  trust  that  in  the 
other  happier  land  we  shall  be  always  together." 
■  "  Do  you  not  believe  in  the  raft,  dear  John  ?  "  she  asked, 
sorrowfully.     "  Can  you  not  trust  to  its  saving  power  ? '" 

I  made  no  reply.  What  could  I  say  ?  With  patient 
pleading  Margery  besought  me  to  give  my  heart  to  Num- 
bers, to  rely  upon  the  raft  as  my  only  hope,  and  to  submit 
to  the  rite  of  cancellation.  She  implored  me  with  earn- 
est words  and  streaming  eyes  to  give  her  the  promise  that 
she  asked,  that  we  might  meet  again. 

"  But  we  shall  meet  again,  my  own  darling,"  I  said. 

She  turned  her  head  away.  The  tears  streamed  unre- 
strained down  her  cheeks  as  she  said,  "  Oh,  no,  dear 
John,  unless  you  believe  and  are  cancelled  we  shall  never 
meet  again,  never  in  all  eternity." 

So  speaking,  with  one  bitter  sob  she  threw  her  arms 
about  me  passionately  and  hid  her  face  upon  my  breast. 
"Never,  never,  never,"  she  moaned,  "never  through  all 
the  endless  ages." 

In  a  moment  such  as  this  we  live  a  lifetime.  Pressing 
the  convulsed,  despairing  form  of  my  beloved  to  my  heart, 
my  feelings  were  agonized  indeed.  To  her  it  was  all  so 
real;  ihe  miser)'  of  the  moment  to  her  but  a  foretaste  of 
the  dread  forever.  What  was  there  I  could  say  for  her 
comfort  ,-'     As  she  lay  upon  my  breast,  nerveless,  hopeless, 


278  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

speechless,  motionless,  save  for  a  tremor  of  wretchedness 
that  at  intervals  shook  her  form,  my  thoughts  took  a  wide 
range.  The  many  modes  of  worships  of  which  I  had  been 
a  witness  passed  in  a  vague  pageant  before  me.  Sect  after 
sect,  creed  after  creed,  doctrine  after  doctrine  ;  each  and 
all,  as  I  knew,  vain  and  hollow,  false  and  foolish ;  not 
one  that  was  not  a  mere  travesty  of  truth,  of  even  that 
poor  measure  of  the  truth  that  the  Infinite  Father  had 
given  to  this  lone  island.  Backward,  still  backward  my 
thoughts  strayed,  away,  far  away  from  Inquirendo,  till 
once  more  in  my  own  country  it  was  a  Sabbath  day,  and 
I  listened  to  words  of  faith — of  my  own  faith  as  they  fell 
from  earnest  lips — no  more  earnest  than  those  of  Mar- 
gery— saying,  "  Come  unto  me,  all  ye  that  labor  and  are 
heavy  laden,  and  I  will  give  you  rest."  Had  I  then  gone 
to  him  ?  Did  I  in  my  desolation  go  even  now?  Words 
that  I  had  listened  to  almost  unheeding  I  now  recalled 
with  a  pang.  I  saw  again  the  reverent,  white-haired  old 
pastor  as  he  stood  pleading  with  his  flock,  pleading  with 
me  to  give  my  heart  to  the  dear  Lord,  who  had  given  His 
life  for  me.  A  strange,  new  emotion  filled  me.  I  seemed 
impressed  with  a  new  and  profound  conviction.  I  heard 
again  the  voice  of  that  aged  preacher  as  he  told  of  the 
mission  of  that  apostle  selected  to  be  a  messenger  to  the 
Gentiles.  It  seemed  to  ring  in  my  ears,  that  cry  from  the 
cloud  filled  with  light,  "  Saul,  Saul,  why  persecutest  thou 
me?" 

Again  I  beheld  a  vision  :  that  same  Saul  of  Tarsus,  now 
transformed  by  the  power  of  the  voice  from  Heaven, 
standing  erect,  clothed  on  with  the  might  of  faith — an  im- 
posing, towering  figure,  despite  his  bent  and  fragile  frame, 
— standing  with  uncovered  head  and  lifted  arm  upon  the 
martial  hill  in  Athens,  declaring  that  as  he  passed  by  he 


"to  the  unknown  god."  279 

had  beheld  an  altar  with  the  inscription:  "To  the  Un- 
known God,"  and  I  heard  him  plainly  say,  "  Whom  there- 
fore ye  ignorantly  worship  him  declare  I  unto  you."  My 
lieart  thus  filled  to  overflowing,  my  thoughts  burst  their 
bonds,  and  I  spoke. 

There  lying  upon  my  breast,  with  deep,  earnest  words 
Margery  listened  to  the  story  of  my  own  faith,  the  faith  of 
my  childhood  that  I  had  so  long  neglected.  I  told  her  of 
the  vain  pretence  that  I  knew  all  the  island  creeds  to  be, 
and  of  that  sweet  sacred  story  of  the  crucified  Son  of  God 
who  had  visited  the  world  to  save  the  souls  of  sinful  men. 
^^'e  all  speak  eloquently  when  we  feel  deeply,  and  the 
depth  of  my  feeling  then  was  as  of  one  at  the  very  doors 
of  death.  I  finished  at  last.  It  is  a  short  story  and  easy 
to  be  told.  Margery  had  not  moved  nor  spoken,  she  had 
lain  almost  motionless. 

"  Do  you  not  see,  darling,"  I  said,  "  that  this  is,  this 
must  be  true  ?  " 

"  It  is  a  lovely  story,"  she  answered,  "  oh,  it  is  a  sweet 
story ;  but  it  is  only  our  better  story,  our  own  dear  truth. 
Yours  is  the  poem,  John  ;  ours  is  the  reality." 

''  Can  you  not  understand  ?  "  I  said,  mournfully. 

"  Oh,  yes,  indeed  I  understand,"  she  answered  ;  "but- 
ch, why,  dearest,  when  you  see  so  well  the  beauty  can  you 
not  also  believe  the  truth.?  There  is  no  other  name  but 
Numbers  ;  there  is  no  other  hope  but  in  the  raft.  For- 
get the  poem,  John  ;  forget  it  for  my  sake.  It  is  only  a 
poem,  after  all.  How  could  it  be  aught  else  >  It  is  a  de- 
lusion, John.  My  own,  can  you  not  see  how  all  that  you 
have  said  is  delusion  ?  Forgive  me  that  I  must  speak. 
Your  Margery  loves  you  ;  she  would  not  now  say  a  word 
to  hurt  or  trouble  you.  Oh,  darling,  forget  the  vision ;  re- 
member only  the  fact.     It  was  Numbers  only  who  died  for 


aSo  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

vou.  It  is  only  the  raft  that  can  save  you.  Beyond  this 
narrow  island  there  is  the  sweet  Oversea  country  ;  the  raft 
can  bear  you  thither.  I  have  faith.  I  know  that  I  shall 
go  there.  Will  you  not  then  try  to  believe  that  you  may 
meet  your  Margery  there  ?  " 

"  There  is  a  land  beyond  the  ocean,  Margery  ;  it  is  no 
delusion." 

"  Yes,  I  know,  dear  John,  there  is  that  land." 

"But  I  have  been  there,  Margery;  I  came  from  that 
country  beyond  the  ocean." 

She  looked  up  pityingly  into  my  face.  She  laid  her  soft 
finger  gently  upon  my  lips.  "Oh,  hush,  dear  John,"  she 
said,  softly,  "  oh,  hush,  it  pains  me  so." 

"  I  do  not  wish  to  pain  you,  Margery,  but  all  that  I 
have  said  is  true." 

She  was  silent.  Her  eyes  fell  before  mine.  A  listless, 
mute  sorrow  seemed  to  possess  her. 

"We  shall  meet  again,  Margery.  Fear  not,  we  shall 
meet." 

She  shook  her  head.  "Never,  oh,  never  to  all  eternity, 
John.  If  you  will  not  be  cancelled  we  shall  never  meet 
— never,  never." 

Her  beautiful  head  was  again  bent  low,  and  the  words 
came  in  the  midst  of  passionate  sobs. 

The  light  of  the  departing  day  had  faded,  the  dusk  had 
now  been  succeeded  by  the  gloom  of  approaching  night. 
Margery  lay  upon  my  breast  for  awhile,  and  there  was 
silence  between  us,  silence  and  grief.  At  last  she  roused 
herself.  She  sighed  heavily,  she  laid  her  lips  to  mine, 
and  then  half  withdrawing  herself  from  me,  still  with  her 
white  arms  about  my  neck,  she  gazed  into  my  eyes.  "  It 
is  time   that   I  should  go,  dear  John,"  she  said,  huskily, 


"to  the  unknown  god."  281 

''  but  one  word  more  I  must  say  :  it  is  my  office,  the  office 
of  the  one  who  loves  you  best.     The  law — "  she  faltered. 

"  Say  on,  Margery,"  I  said,  caressingly,  "  nothing  you 
can  say  will  grieve  me.     Do  not  fear." 

"The  law,"  she  continued,  with  trembling  lips,  "gives 
to  the  best  beloved  of  one — con — condemned — " 

"  I  understand  ;    condemned  to  die." 

She  hurried  on,  "  Gives  to  me  the  right  to  demand  one 
single  boon  that  shall  not  extend  to  Hfe.  It  is  my  right. 
What  is  it  I  shall  ask,  John  ? ''  Her  voice  sank  to  a  low 
whisper.  "  What  is  the  one  single  boon  that  you  wish 
me  to  demand  of  the  law  for  you  ?  " 

I  had  not  been  aware  of  this  provision  of  Inquirendian 
law.  At  first  I  was  at  a  loss  for  an  answer,  I  pondered 
over  the  matter  for  some  time  in  silence.  Then,  like  a 
fiash,  it  seemed,  down  from  the  dome  of  heaven,  now  deep- 
ening into  a  purple  canopy,  whereon  glowed  and  glittered 
one  single  planet,  a  thought  came  in  through  the  bars  of 
my  prison,  came  and  nestled  like  a  bird  amid  its  sadder 
sister  thoughts  ;  came  like  a  pure  dove  amid  the  ravens 
of  despair.  Thus  are  great  thoughts  among  men  born, 
not  of  themselves,  or  from  the  evolution  of  the  atoms  of 
the  brain,  but  sent  from  high  heaven  itself,  filaments  of 
the  sacred  birth  robe  of  man's  immortality,  woven  still  in 
the  patched  and  soiled  and  draggled  garments  of  his  later, 
more  earthly  humanity. 

On  the  impulse  of  the  moment  I  uttered  a  glad  cry. 
"  Thank  God  !  "  I  exclaimed,  in  ecstasy,  pressing  Mar- 
gery rapturously  tome,  feeling  in  that  sublime  instant  that 
the  two  best  gifts  of  the  Creator  were  indeed  mine — my  be- 
loved and  my  own  life.  Yes,  my  own  life ;  for  hope  had 
revived  within  me,  and  I  knew  now  that  my  prayer  had 
been  answered. 


2S2  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Margery  looked  up  wonderingly.  "  What  did  you  say, 
John  ?  "  she  asked,  "  and  why  is  your  tone  so  joyous?" 

"  Ah  !  "  I  answered,  "  it  is  no  wonder  that  I  am  joy- 
ous. I  feel  once  more  the  thrill  of  hope.  Margery,  I 
have  an  idea." 

Margery  could  not  shake  off  her  depression,  but  she 
inquired  very  earnestly  what  I  meant.  "Have  faith  in 
me,  my  darling,  and  all  shall  yet  be  well,"  said  I,  trying 
to  induce  her  to  share  my  joy. 

"  Dear  John,  I  do  have  faith — at  least,  in  you." 

"  Only  believe,"  I  said,  "  only  believe  me,  and  life  shall 
not  yet  be  over  for  us." 

She  shook  her  head  sadly. 

"  I  will  try,  John,"  she  said,  simply.  Then  she  looked 
into  my  eyes  longingly.  "  I  think  1  could  do  anything, 
believe  anything,  if  you  would  only — only — " 

"  Only  what,  love  ?  " 

"Only  be  cancelled,  John." 

In  the  fresh  vigor  of  the  new  emotions  that  possessed 
me  I  resolved  to  put  my  Margery  to  the  last  and  greatest 
test  of  her  love.  What  could  matter  now  to  me  a  mere 
senseless  ceremony  ?  Hypocrisy  is  like  circumcision,  a 
thing  of  the  heart.  The  righteous  man  is  lord  also  of  his 
subterfuges. 

"  I  will  be  cancelled,  Margery,"  I  broke  forth,  "  I  do 
consent." 

She  started  joyfully. 

"On  one  condition,"  I  added,  hastily. 

"  Tell  me  what  it  is,  John  ;  no  matter  what  it  may  be, 
if  it  is  in  my  power  it  shall  be  done." 

Then  I  told  her,  in  quick,  short,  earnest  phrases,  of  the 
boon  I  desired. 

"  It  shall  be  done,"  she  answered. 


"to    the    Ui\K.NOWN    GOD."  283 

"There  is  yet  more  to  tell,"  I  said,  gloomily  ;  "  if  I  am 
to  be  cancelled  the  condition  I  ask  is  from  you  alone, 
Margery." 

"Then  it  is  already  done,"  she  replied.  "Even  if  it 
should  be  my  death,  John,  you  need  only  ask  it ;  whatever 
I  can  do  shall  be  done." 

'*  Could  I  ask  your  death,  my  own  ?  Oh,  no ;  what  I  ask 
is  your  life ;  your  life  for  me,  for  my  sake,  that  we  may 
always  live  together  ;  that  you  should  be  my  very  own, 
my  own  wife." 

"  Is  it  that  you  wish  to  marry  me,  John  }  " 

"  Yes,  I  do  indeed  wish  that." 

She  shuddered.  "  What !  "  she  exclaimed,  "  do  you  re- 
quire that  here  in  this — this  prison  .-'  Oh,  John,  surely  you 
do  not  ask  that  of  me  .-'  " 

"  No,"  I  answered,  quickly,  seeing  that  she  had  misun- 
derstood. "  No,  darling,  that  is  not  what  I  would  ask.  It 
is  that — that — "  I  could  not  trust  myself  to  speak  aloud 
my  wish.  Again  I  whispered  low,  telling  all  I  wished  to 
tell.  At  first  she  slightly  withdrew  from  my  embrace  and 
appeared  strangely  disconcerted.  "  Only  believe  me,"  I 
said,  "  and  all  will  yet  be  well."  She  turned  towards  me 
one  look  of  love,  one  glorious  look  filling  her  violet  eyes, 
and  placing  her  little  hand  in  mine  she  answered  :  "  Death 
comes  only  a  little  later  or  a  little  sooner,  John.  It  is  bet- 
ter to  die  for  those  we  love  than  to  live  on  loveless.  It 
is  better  to  die  with  my  beloved  than  to  live  on  without 
him.  Whether  in  life  or  death  we  shall  not  be  parted. 
It  shall  be  as  you  say,  John,  in  all  things." 

My  sleep  was  tranquil  enough  that  night.  Sometimes 
it  happens  that  a  great  joy  will  make  one  wakeful ;  but 
with  me  it  was  not  so.  The  next  day  was  a  busy  one.  It 
is  needless  to  say  that  Mr.  Smalls  and  Oliver  were  de- 


284  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

lighted  indeed  when  they  heard  from  Margery  that  my 
obdurate  heart  had,  as  they  expressed  it,  been  softened. 
Margery  had  not  told  them  the  conditions,  nor  had  she 
even  (this  I  had  cautioned  her  about)  mentioned  that 
there  had  been  conditions.  Mrs.  Mayhind  came,  full  of 
sorrowing  pity  for  my  forlorn  state,  and  yet  manifesting  a 
great  joy  that  I  had  consented  to  become  part  of  that 
church  which  she  had  been  taught  from  her  youth  up  was 
an  essential  condition  of  entrance  into  the  joys  of  Over- 
sea. 

''  Is  it  to  be  the  written  solution,  John  ?  "  Mrs.  Mayland 
asked,  and  when  I  answered  "  Yes,"  a  look  of  reverent 
gratitude  appeared  upon  her  face  ;  her  lips  trembled,  and 
her  voice,  as  she  told  me  how  thankful  she  was. 

The  ceremony  of  cancellation  took  place  at  the  hour  of 
vespers.  Mr.  Smalls  wished  it  so,  and  I  did  not  object. 
There  were  only  a  few  present ;  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Mayland 
were  there,  and  Margery.  Mr.  Smalls  and  Oliver  con- 
ducted the  services,  assisted  by  the  Reverend  Paul  Patmos. 
There  was  perhaps  a  little  of  that  quality  commonly  known 
as  Jesuitical  in  all  this ;  but  I  felt  no  especial  pangs  of 
conscience,  and  went  through  it  all  sedately.  It  was  rather 
a  trial  to  write  the  letter  from  the  ink  of  which  the  written 
solution  was  made,  and  I  am  afraid  in  this,  as  in  some  of 
the  answers  I  gave  the  celebrants  respecting  my  spiritual 
condition,  I  must  have  lied.  But  in  spite  of  all  that  casu- 
ists may  have  to  say  there  are  lies  and  lies,  and  when  one 
is  planning  to  save  his  life  he  learns  to  discriminate  very 
acutely  between  the  two  kinds  :  I  know  I  did,  I  was 
asked  if  I  believed  all  the  truths  of  the  arithmetic.  I  re- 
plied in  a  ghostly  voice  befitting  the  occasion  that  I  did. 

"  Do  you  believe  in  Mathematics  ?  "  said  Mr.  Patmos, 
who  conducted  this  portion  of  the  ceremony. 


"to  the  unknown  uod."  285 

"  I  do,"  was  my  answer. 

"  Do  you  believe  in  Numbers  ?  " 

'^  Yes." 

"  Do  you  believe  in  the  Nine  Digits  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Do  you  unfeignedly  believe  in  the  Four  Ground  Rules, 
and  do  you  solemnly  promise  to  follow  and  be  lead  by 
them,  and  to  abjure  the  hateful  and  hurtful  devices  of  the 
Archten  ?  " 

"  I  do." 

'*  Is  it  your  wish  to  become  part  of  the  visible  church  by 
the  rite  of  cancellation  and  by  the  written  solution  ?  " 

"It  is,"  I  answered,  and  then  having  produced  the  let- 
ter, previously  written,  the  ceremonies  went  on. 

When  it  was  all  over,  and  with  wet  eyes  my  hand  was 
taken  by  all  present  with  murmured  blessings,  Margery 
came  last  of  all,  and  whispered  low,"  It  will  not  be  long 
now,  my  own.  Be  brave,  as  I  shall  be,  and  if  not  on  this 
island,  we  shall  be  happy  in  Oversea  together." 


CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

THE    REVISED    VERSION. 

"\  1  fHILE  I  waited  for  the  unhappy  day  that  was  to  wit- 
•  '  ness  my  execution,  I  had  much  to  occupy  my  mind. 
I  have  heretofore  stated  that  I  was  busy.  Among  other 
things,  I  devoted  myself  with  some  assiduity  to  a  diUgent 
study  of  the  Arithmetic,  having  been  instigated  to  do  this 
on  account  of  its  giving  so  much  pleasure  to  all  my  friends, 
and  not  so  much  that  I  really  derived  any  great  spiritual 
benefit  therefrom.  Oliver  had  been  telling  me  that  a 
council  or  committee  had  been  appointed,  consisting  of 
learned  men  of  dififerent  denominations,  who  had  spent 
many  months  in  revising  the  Arithmetic.  On  my  express- 
ing a  desire  to  see  a  copy  of  the  revised  version,  Oliver 
kindly  purchased  one  for  me,  and  he  also  brought  at  the 
same  time  a  copy  of  a  pamphlet  by  the  Reverend  Mr.  Pat- 
mos,  which,  he  said,  would  give  me  just  the  information  I 
desired  without  the  labor  incident  to  an  extended  compari- 
son. 

Fortunately  I  am  able  to  give  this  almost  entire.  It  was 
not  very  lengthy,  and  I  have  merely  omitted  certain  por- 
tions which  to  my  mind  seemed  to  a  certain  extent  irrele- 
vant. 

286 


THE    REVISED    VERSION.  287 

"THE  REVISED  VERSION. 

"  BY  PAUL  PATMOS,   Q.P. 

"The  laborious  and  carefu]  work  of  the  revisers  is  at 
last  completed.     It  is  a  .nonument  of  judicious  scholar- 
ship, and  abundantly  redounds  to  the  credit  of  the  learned 
gentlemen  who  composed  the   committee.     The    student 
will  find  many  changes  ;  but  these  are  chiefly  orthographic 
and  in  no  instance  affect  doctrinal  points.     One   of  the 
chief  difificulties  which  the  committee  had  to  contend  with 
was  of  course  the  sadly  defaced  and  mutilated  condition 
ot  the  great  original  in  the  cathedral.     It  was  at  one  time 
hoped  that  the  chief  apostle  would  give  consent  to  have 
this  copy  examined  by  the  committee,  who  even  went  so 
far  as  to  have  a  strong  n.agnifying  glass  especially  con- 
structed with  a  view  to  a  microscopic  examination  of  those 
l^articular  passages  as  to  which   there  was  known  to  be 
doubt.     But,  from  a  reverent  sense  of  their  responsibility 
m  the  matter,  neither  the  apostle  nor  the  scribes  could 
be  induced  to    permit   this,   and  the  sacred  volume  was 
therefore  inspected  by  a  telescope  erected  on  the  roof  of 
James  Brower's  stove  store  opposite  the  south  window  of 
the  cathedral.     The  leaves  of  the  Arithmetic  were  opened 
from  time  to  time  by  a  blindfold  boy,  the  motions  of  whose 
hands  were  directed  by  a  priest,  duly  delegated.    All  this 
was  of  course  according  to  the  principles  of  the  canon  law, 
and  it  must  be  understood  that  we  have  no  word  of  blame 
for  the    prelate  or   his    assistants.     In    fact,    it   may    be 
doubted   whether  the  work  would  have  been  an'y  better 
performed  even  had  the  committee  had  that  access  to  the 
sacred    original    which  they  desired.     The   roof   of  Mr. 


288  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Brower's  stove  store  was  in  many  respects  eligibly  situ- 
ated, and  the  telescope  was  of  McGuincss'  make,  and  one 
of  his  latest  and  best.  Besides  this  favorable  view  of 
the  great  original,  the  committee  had  the  advantage  of 
the  early  version,  printed,  it  is  said,  in  the  time  of  Henry 
Huit,  and  also  of  the  James  King's  edition,  later  on. 

"  Hence  the  revisers  haue  been  able  to  do  the  subject 
full  justice.  They  have  retained  many  of  the  old  read- 
ings in  bulk,  and  only  made  changes  where  grammar  or 
vocabulary  (better  understood  in  modern  light)  seemed  to 
imperatively  demand  it.  That  they  have  been  eminently 
conservative  we  think  all  Arithmetical  scholars  will  ad- 
mit ;  but  we  are  of  the  opinion  also  that  it  must  be  ad- 
mitted that  these  radical  changes  which  were  made  were 
such  as  modern  scholarship  imperatively  demanded.  Some 
of  the  most  bitter  opposition  to  the  Arithmetic  as  a  whole 
has  come  from  those  who,  not  comprehending  it  in  its 
spirit  and  truth,  have  sought  to  find  flaws  in  matters  of 
mere  verbiage.  One  of  the  most  common  modes  of  at- 
tack from  infidels  has  been  to  take  up  particular  passages 
where  the  sense  was  in  some  degree  obscure,  and  en- 
deavor to  put  false  and  erroneous  interpretations  thereon. 
A  few  instances  of  this  can  here  be  given,  which  will  serve 
to  demonstrate  clearly  not  only  the  utter  futility  of  these 
so-called  philosophical  views,  but  to  throw  into  strong 
relief  the  exceeding  richness  of  the  material  in  the  hands 
of  the  revisers.  Take  the  nine  plus  onth  chapter  of  the 
First  Ground  Rule,  for  instance,  sixth  line,  where  that  re- 
markable if  apparently  somewhat  disconnected  account 
occurs  of  the  grocer  and  the  sacks  of  meal,  and  the  lady 
with  her  furniture.  In  James  King's  version  it  reads  as 
follows  :  '  Two  men  start  from  a  given  point  and  travel  in 


THE    REVISED    VERSION.  289 

opposite  directions,  one  at  the  rate  of  94  *  miles  a  clay, 
the  other  at  the  rate  of  47  *  miles  a  day  :  how  far  will 
they  be  apart  at  the  close  of  the  ninth  day  ? '  Scoffers 
have  made  this  passage  a  target  for  their  shafts  of  ridicule  ; 
but  they  will  be  enabled  to  do  so  no  more.  The  absurd 
pretence  that  because  such  a  journey,  continued  for  nine 
days,  would  have  carried  these  two  men  both  away  from 
the  island,  can  no  longer  be  maintained. 

"Instead  of  the  reading  being  thirty-six  in  the  first  and 
twenty-eight  in  the  second  instance  the  powerful  telescope 
of  McGuiness  has  disclosed  the  fact  that  after  the  nine  in 
the  supposed  94  was  a  collection  of  fly-specks,  and  no 
four  at  all.  In  the  case  of  the  other,  formerly  written  47, 
the  truth  is  even  plainer :  there  is  not  a  7,  but,  as  revealed 
by  the  telescope,  a  manifest  two  (2),  so — (the  reader  does 
not  need  to  be  informed  that  42  and  8  are  synonymous) — 
the  whole  passage  should  read  as  follows  :  '  Two  men 
start  from  a  given  point  and  travel  in  opposite  directions, 
one  at  the  rate  of  nine  miles  a  day ;  the  other  at  the  rate 
of  eight  miles  :  how  far  will  they  be  apart  at  the  close 
of  the  ninth  day  ? ' 

"  What  light  does  this  interpretation  throw  upon  the  pass- 
ages ?  In  times  past  commentators  have  striven  to  ac- 
count for  what  certainly  appeared  to  be  a  most  remark- 
able statement.  Blushly,  a  high  authority,  at  one  time 
endeavored  to  account  for  the  seeming  contradiction  by  the 
assumption  that  these  men,  instead  of  proceeding  in  a 
straight  line,  did  actually  travel  in  curves,  and  Blushly 
even  went  so  far  as  to  indicate  what  appeared  to  him,  on 
.arithmetical  grounds,  the  exact  curve  each  man  took.     It 

*  The  reader  will  remember  that  by  the  methods  of  notation  in  vogue 
among  the  Inquirendians  these  figures  should  be  read  thirty-six  and 
t  wenty-eight  respectively. 
19 


290"  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

is  needless  now  to  state  that  these  and  all  similar  assump- 
tions were  unwarranted  by  the  fact,  and  were  wholly  er- 
roneous. How  simple  now,  viewed  in  the  proper  light, 
does  this  verse  seem  ?  The  conditions  are  now  shown  to 
be  easy  of  fulfilment;  for  no  one  can  pretend  that  there 
are  not  points  on  the  island  from  which  two  men  could 
start  and  walk  in  a  straight  line  the  given  distance. 

"  This  has  puzzled  thousands  of  readers  in  the  past ;  but, 
by  the  mathematical  work  of  the  committee,  it  need  do 
so  no  longer.  Who  knows  how  many  souls  may  be  suffer- 
ing the  torments  of  the  drowned  on  account  of  this  one 
faulty  rendering.  The  reader  of  the  new  version  will  be 
glad  to  discover  many  such  changes,  wherein  nature  and 
revelation  are  brought  into  absolute  harmony.  This  es- 
pecial passage  is  of  course  to  be  taken  in  a  peculiar  sense 
as  illustrative  of  the  wide  distance  apart  mankind  is  from 
a  given  point:  to  wit,  the  Decimal  point;  and  the  alle- 
gory is  now  rendered  perfect  by  its  being  so  conclusively 
demonstrated  to  be  in  consonance  with  literal  fact. 

"Take  another  instance,  where  the  art  of  computation  is 
spoken  of  in  James  King's  version.  This  has  always  been 
a  stumbling-block  in  the  way  of  angelical  believers,  who, 
however  devoted  to  the  traditions  of  the  church,  and  ever 
regarding  the  Decimals  with  the  warmest  affection  as  an 
integral  portion  of  the  Kingdom  of  Numbers,  yet  could 
not  concur  with  them  in  the  use  of  pictures  and  statuary. 
Such  use,  however,  was  seen  to  have  apparent  warrant 
in  the  Arithmetic  in  the  use  of  the  word  art  in  this  coi 
nection.  How  marvellously  are  things  brought  to  pass*. 
The  revision  now  reads  the  act  (not  art),  and  at  once  all 
doubts  are  instinctively  felt  to  be  removed.  It  is  but  one 
more  text  showing  the  inherent  necessity  that  exists  foi 
works  in  a  believer. 


THE    REVISED    VERSION.  29 1 

"The  same  word,  further  on  (chapter  9  +  2,  sec.  2  &  3), 
is  a^i^ahi  rendered  act. 

"In  chapter  55  +  i  it  formerly  read  :  'Like  Numbers 
are  confused  of  units  of  the  same  kind,'  etc.  This  was 
supposed  to  mean  '  put  out,'  or  '  irritated,'  and  to  have 
reference  to  those  dissensions  among  integers,  which  are, 
alas !  much  too  common  ;  that  it  referred  to  troubles 
which  continually  arise  touching  new  carpets,  organs, 
modes  of  placing  church  furniture,  etc.  The  new  ver- 
sion hath  it,  '  Like  Numbers  are  composed,'  a  rendering 
which  is  not  only  more  in  accordance  with  the  remainder 
of  the  teachings  of  the  word,  but  is  more  fully  adapted  to 
the  comprehension  of  the  unlearned  and  ignorant.  Com- 
posed in  this  sense  means  quiet,  resigned,  docile. 

"  Yet  another  instance.  In  Book  4,  chap.  9,  it  formerly 
read,  *  A  man  earns  55  pounds  a  month,  and  pays  7  pounds 
for  house  rent,  and  37  pounds  for  current  expenses  :  how 
much  will  he  save  .-'  '  * 

"This  passage  has  always  been  regarded  by  Arithme- 
ticians as  especially  replete  with  error,  and  for  many 
years,  in  all  our  orthodox  pulpits,  it  has  not  been  con- 
sidered as  inspired,  and  pastors  have  warned  their  flocks 
against  placing  too  much  reliance  upon  it.  It  was  argued 
that  no  man  ever  did  earn  as  much  as  twenty-five  pounds 
in  a  single  month  ;  that  in  fact  there  were  not  a  dozen 
fortunes  in  the  island  whose  income  approached  this 
amount.  The  moral,  of  course,  was  evident ;  the  man  did 
not  save  anything;  in  fact  he  lost.  This  loss  is  typical 
of  the  loss  of  the  soul,  and  also  of  the  great  danger  there 

*  The  reader  must  bear  in  mind  that  these  figures  are  taken  liter- 
ally from  Mr.  I'atmos'  essay.  55  is,  according  to  their  notation,  25 ; 
7  is  the  same,  but  37  is  21.  This  accounts  for  the  discrepancy.  The 
man  saved  11  pounds. — Ed. 


292  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

is  in  large  wealth.  This  has  been  understood,  but  still 
the  entire  chapter  was  felt  to  be  misleading.  Particularly 
was  this  the  case  in  reference  to  the  currents.  Great 
care  has  been  exercised,  diligent  and  trustworthy  investi- 
gation made  from  time  to  time,  and  the  prevailing  opinion 
is  undoubtedly  that  in  no  one  year  did  the  value  of  the 
current  crop  exceed  6;^  *  pounds.  These  misstatements 
tended  to  invalidate  the  context.  In  the  new  version  the 
whole  matter  is  made  clear.  In  the  original  it  was  dis- 
covered that  there  were  certain  marks,  half  erased  and 
almost  undecipherable,  between  the  two  5's.  After  much 
patient  study  these  marks  were  found  to  be  beyond  a 
doubt  a  *  sign,  so  that  the  second  5  is  redundant  or  ex- 
pressive of  assurance.  The  man  did  earn  5  pounds  and 
no  more.  His  paying  7  pounds  for  house  rent  was  great 
recklessness,  and  37  pounds  for  expenses  criminal  ex- 
travagance. The  revisers  also  became  satisfied  that  the 
word  which  has  always  heretofore  been  rendered  current 
was  in  reality  'certain,'  and,  as  amended,  the  chapter 
presents  none  of  the  old  difficulties.  We  pass  on  now  to 
a  few  of  the  points  where  the  revisers  have  not  altogether 
succeeded  in  clearing  away  the  old  stumbling-blocks. 

"  In  that  remarkable  chapter  of  the  second  book  (Chap. 
9+5)  it  states,  '  In  the  Roman  method  numbers  are  ex- 
pressed by  means  of  seven  capital  letters.'  Thus  far  all 
is  clear  ;  but  immediately  after  follows  this  most  confusing 
passage,  'Viz.  :  IVXLCDM.'  It  was  greatly  to  have 
been  desired  that  this  could  have  been  settled  satisfac- 
torily ;  but  still  we  do  not  wish  to  be  captious  or  hyper- 
critical. 

"  The  committee  have  availed  themselves  of  the  able  and 

*  18  pounds. — Ed. 


THE    REVISED   VERSION.  293 

exhaustive  treatises  of  Pawk  and  Crullers,  and  also  of  the 
more  profound  work  of  X.  K.  Geesis  relating  thereto. 

"  Pawk,  it  will  be  remembered,  reasoning  from  analogy, 
has  taken  the  ground  that  the  word  '  viz  '  is  simply  a  root, 
and  that  what  follows  has  reference  to  a  period  antedating 
the  historical  period.  There  are  grounds  for  thinking  that 
he  was  at  least  on  the  right  track,  as  philologists  agree 
that  there  never  was  a  time  within  the  memory  of  man 
when  vowels  were  not  used,  and  it  will  be  noted  that  in 
this  entire  passage  there  is  not  a  single  vowel ;  all  the 
sounds  are  guttural. 

"  Crullers  takes  a  widely  different  view,  asserting  as  he 
does  that  these  consonants  are  notes  of  music,  or  direc- 
tions to  the  musicians  by  whom  this  portion  of  the  Arith- 
metic was  sung. 

"  Geesis,  as  is  well  known,  has  gone  over  the  entire 
ground  taken  by  both  Pawk  and  Crullers,  and  has  arrived 
at  the  conclusion  that  the  mysterious  characters  are 
neither  more  nor  less  than  a  name,  and  he  therefore  sep- 
arates the  passage  into  two  parts,  thus  :  Ivix  Lickidom. 

'•The  committee  have  taken  a  medium  course,  and  in  a 
measure  incorporated  into  their  translation  all  of  these 
conflicting  views.  They  have  departed  entirely  from  the 
old  version,  rejecting  the  root  word,  '  viz,'  and  substi- 
tuting therefor-  the  word  'namely,'  which  analogy  clearly 
authorized  them  to  do.  By  making  this  substitution  no 
direct  name  is  mentioned,  yet  it  is  manifest  that  they  had 
in  mind  the  name  Ivix  Lickidom — the  name,  or  the  one 
name — meaning,  of  course,  Numbers.  We  do  not  object 
to  this  rendering  on  philological  grounds  ;  on  the  contrar)-, 
the  committee  is  deserving  of  very  great  praise  for  the 
result,  as  evincing  not  only  profound  learning,  but  a 
spiritual  insight  into  the  meaning  of  what  must  still  be 


294  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

regarded  as  enigmatic.  What  we  do  say,  however,  is 
simply  this,  and  we  think  all  candid  persons  must  admit 
the  truth  of  the  criticism,  that  in  making  the  alteration 
the  committee  showed  more  learning  than  regard  for  the 
time-honored  traditions  of  our  fathers.  How  many 
souls  now  in  glory  have  been  comforted  by  the  words 
which  the  committee  have  now  wholly  eliminated.  How 
many,  by  that  one  portion  of  the  Arithmetic,  have  been 
brought  to  the  raft.  What  tender  memories  linger  about 
the  word  '  viz,'  memories  of  home  and  a  mother's  tender 
care.  How  sweetly  does  its  plaintive  melody  sound  in  the 
ears  of  a  believer.  But  now  all  this  is  changed ;  and 
although,  as  we  have  said  above,  great  credit  is  due  the 
committee,  yet  we  feel  that  in  making  the  substitution 
they  have  detracted  somewhat  from  the  general  merit  of 
the  revision.  There  are  other  passages  also  to  which  at- 
tention might  be  called  did  our  space  admit,  but  these 
must  suffice  for  the  present.  The  work,  as  gotten  up  by 
Spell  &  Hyphen,  under  the  auspices  of  the  committee, 
is  a  marvel  of  mechanical  execution,  and  is  furnished  to 
subscribers  at  the  extremely  low  price  of  one  penny.  It 
is  understood  that  a  paper  edition  will  shortly  be  published. 
There  is  little  doubt  that  the  new  version  will  very  shortly 
be  adopted  by  all  the  orthodox  denominations,  as  it  has 
already  been  by  the  establishment." 

"  How  do  you  like  the  new  version  ? "  Oliver  asked 
that  evening. 

I  did  not  think  it  worth  while  to  enter  into  any  details, 
but  I  left  Oliver  to  infer  that  I  was  on  the  whole  well 
satisfied. 

"  You  read  what  Dr.  Patmos  said  respecting  the  use  of 
the  comprehensive  word  'namely'?" 

"Yes." 


THE    REVISED   VERSION.  jgg 

"  Did  thai  meet  witli  your  approval  ?  " 

"  The  sense  seemed  to  be  materially  changed." 

"  Eut  for  the  better  ;.  did  it  not  strike  you  so  ?  " 

"  1   think   the  letters  ought   to  have  been  kept  as  they 

were,"  I  said,  after  some  hesitation. 

This  Oliver  would  not  admit;    in   fact,   he  was  verv 

pronounced  in  his  views  that  the  revision  was  admirably 

made,  and  that  the  new  version  was  a  vast  improvement 

over  the  old. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 

MY   OWN    FUNERAL. 

THE  next  day  and  the  following  days  until  the  one  fixed 
for   the   execution  I  was  very  busy.     I    had  many 
things  to  arrange. 

My  property  I  wished  to  divide  among  the  charitable 
institutions  of  the  island;  but  when  I  signified  my  wishes 
in  this  respect  I  was  rather  astonished  to  find  that  the 
law  forbade  such  a  disposition  by  a  noncomposed  person. 
Oliver  kindly  brought  me  the  statute  book,  and  I  read 
the  clause  myself.  The  substance  of  it  was  that  where 
property  was  thus  left  it  either  descended  to  next  of  kin, 
according  to  common  law  (which  was  the  same  with  the 
Inquirendians  as  with  us)  or  escheated  to  the  crown. 

This  state  of  the  law  was  not  satisfactory  to  me.  I 
expressed  my  dissatisfaction. 

"  I  don't  see  how  you  can  get  round  it,"  said  Oliver. 

Tlien  I  showed  Oliver  the  list  of  bequests  that  I  pro- 
posed to  make. 

"  Four  shillings  to  Festus  Idler  ?  "  said  he,  in  a  tone  of 
some  surprise. 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  "  he  seems  to  be  doing  a  good  work." 

"  Is  that  quite  consistent  with  your  new  character  as  an 
integer  so  close  to  the  decimal  point  ? " 

"  I  don't  see  why  not.  Charity  is  the  same,  no  matter 
what  the  distance  from  the  decimal  point." 

"  Still,  it  is  unusual.  However,  it  does  not  matter  now ; 
the  law  utterly  forbids  it." 

296 


MY    OWN    FUNERAL. 


297 


"  And  is  there  no  way  to  gel  round  the  law?"  1  asked. 
Having  had  some  experiences  with  our  own  board  of  Alder- 
men it  was  perhaps  natural  that  I  asked  the  question. 

"I  know  of  none,"  replied  Oliver. 

In  the  evening  Mr.  Dash  called.  I  stated  the  case  to 
him  and  asked  his  advice  as  a  lawyer.  At  first  he  shook 
his  head,  but  when,  running  his  eyes  down  the  list,  it 
lighted  upon  the  name  of  Festus  Idler,  he  began  to  take 
an  interest  directly.  Even  the  greatest  men  in  the  island 
of  Inquirendo  or  elsewhere  are  prone  to  take  interest  in 
what  benefits  them  personally.  Mr.  Dash  said  nothing  at 
the  time  as  to  his  intimate  relations  with  Mr.  Idler,  but 
I  discovered  afterwards  that  ihey  were  cousins,  and  that 
Mr.  Dash  was  a  great  believer  in  the  gentleman's  doc- 
trines. 

"  I  see  you  have  given  a  pound  each  to  St.  Complex 
Fractions  and  to  Mr.  Smalls'  church  of  'Our  Dividend.'  " 

"  Yes,"  I  responded. 

"  Idler  is  doing  a  good  work,"  said  Mr.  Dash,  musingly, 
"  why  not  make  it  a  whole  pound  to  him  ?  " 

"  I  could  do  so." 

"  If  I  were  in  your  place  I  would.  Possibly,  if  you  did 
so,  I  might  fix  it  with  the  crown.  He  has  the  right  to 
relinquish  the  state's  claim  in  certain  cases," 

"  But  would  he  ?  " 

"  I  think  he  would :  the  fact  is,  Mr.  Cliff,  the  crown  is 
a  brother-in-law  of  Idler's.  Of  course,  such  things  do  un- 
consciously have  weight." 

I  made  the  change,  Mr.  Dash  drew  up  the  will  as 
amended,  and  the  next  day  came  with  the  information 
that  the  crown  had  granted  a  dispensation. 

With  the  will  and  other  matters  I  was  fully  employed, 


298  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

and  the  time  passed  all  too  quickly,  until  at  last  the  sun 
arose  on  the  day  upon  which  I  had  been  doomed  to  die. 

Beside  myself  there  were  two  others — noncomposed  per- 
sons— who  were  to  suffer  on  that  day.  One  was  (so  I  was 
told)  a  raving  maniac,  and  the  other  was  in  a  condition 
of  idiocy.  The  case  of  this  latter  was  one  of  peculiar  ag- 
gravation, and,  as  I  regarded  it,  of  some  hardship.  He 
was  a  boy  of  about  eighteen,  whose  parents,  very  unjustifi- 
ably, had  concealed  from  the  authorities  the  fact  of  his 
condition.  They  had  kept  him  closely  guarded,  and  as 
they  lived  in  a  secluded  portion  of  the  fourth  department, 
it  had  only  recently  been  known  that  he  existed.  He  was 
his  parents'  only  child,  and,  strange  as  it  may  appear,  they 
were  devotedly  attached  to  him,  and  resisted  the  officers  of 
the  law  frantically.  The  law,  however,  was  explicit  as  to 
such  cases,  and  I  found  the  sentiment  of  the  public  was 
strongly  against  the  parents. 

How  an  incident  like  this  would  have  pleased  Mr. 
Malthus. 

The  day,  as  I  have  said,  at  last  dawned.  I  forego  any 
lengthy  description  of  our  journey  to  the  coast,  and  shall 
only  mention  that  during  it  all  Oliver  and  Mr.  Smalls 
sat  by  my  side,  cheering  me  constantly  with  appropriate 
selections  from  the  Arithmetic. 

We  stood  silent  at  the  iron  door,  on  the  verge  of  the 
steep  crag  overlooking  the  calm,  slow-heaving  sea  below. 
Above,  the  summer  sky  of  the  early  September  morning 
hung,  flecked  by  fleecy  clouds  ;  the  fields,  in  waving  bloom 
of  verdure,  spread  out,  treeless  but  beautiful,  on  every 
side,  save  one,  where  the  dark  green  ocean  (type  of  the 
eternity  that  rolls  its  boundless  billows  round  the  world) 
lazily  rocked  in  placid  content.  The  waters  and  fields  of 
grain  were  alike  stirred  by  the  soft  breeze  that  from  far 


MY    OWN    FUNKRAL.  299 

seaward  fanned  my  fevered  cheek.  So,  from  beyond  the 
dreadful  deep  of  the  grave  come  sweet,  refreshing  influ- 
ences, brightening  our  planet  and  clothing  it  in  the  immor- 
tal verdure  of  eternal  hope.  And  as  the  sea  breeze  comes 
from  whither  we  know  not,  and  blows  its  gentle  breath  at 
tlie  bidding  of  the  warm  land,  so  from  the  hearts  of  men 
warm  thoughts  arise,  and  the  cool,  refreshing  winds 
from  the  great  deep  steal  in,  an  answer  to  our  prayer. 
By  my  side  stood  my  dearest  and  best  friends.  These 
were,  first  and  dearest,  my  Margery,  next  were  Oliver 
and  Mr.  Smalls,  and  Margery's  father  and  mother.  As 
chief  mourners  they  were  all  clad  from  head  to  foot  in 
the  solemn  white  vesture,  the  type  of  their  grief  for  the 
dying.  There  were  tears  in  all  those  eyes,  and  farewell 
words  were  spoken  with  hushed  and  husky  voices.  By 
my  side  through  all  that  dread  ordeal,  my  Margery  stood  : 
at  times  her  eyes  sought  mine  with  wistful,  painful  mean- 
ing ;  at  times  her  hand  stole  out  and  clasped  my  own,  and  at 
times,  as  she  joined  in  the  awful  responses,  her  lips  trem- 
bled and  her  voice  refused  to  fulfil  its  oflfice.  It  was  a 
solemn,  dreadful  funeral  service.  The  ritual  of  the  Estab- 
lished Church  for  the  burial  of  the  dead  was  recited,  and 
chanted  in  unison  by  a  choir  of  surpliced  children.  Mr. 
Smalls  had  asked  the  favor  from  the  crown  of  conducting 
this  ceremonial,  and  the  pitiful  privilege  had  been  granted 
to  him.  Oliver  had  proposed  to  assist,  but  his  emotions 
had  been  too  overpowering.  He,  as  well  as  Mr.  May- 
land,  joined  occasionally  in  the  responses,  but  their  voices 
were  all  the  time  quivering  with  subdued  sobs  and  sad 
thoughts. 

Nudwink,  I  saw,  was  present ;  but  (let  us  hope)  from 
motives  of  delicacy  he  did  not  attempt  to  join  actively 
with  the  others  of  the  clergy.     Gallwood  too  was  there. 


300  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

I  had  been  told  (while  yet  in  confinement  at  the  capital) 
that  he  had  purposed  withdrawing  for  a  short  period,  and 
secluding  himself  from  the  island  until  all  should  be  over. 
Being  of  a  forgiving  disposition,  I  sent  word  that  it  was 
my  last  request  that  he  should  be  present  at  my  obse- 
quies. It  was  for  that  reason  that  he  was  there.  He  ap- 
peared much  affected,  and  kept  time  while  the  chants 
were  sung  and  the  hymns,  as  did  also  Nudwink,  with  his 
fore  arm,  and  I  observed  that  they  kept  time  very  accu- 
rately together.  Of  all  the  multitude,  and  a  large  crowd 
had  assembled,  perhaps  I  w^as  of  all  the  least  moved, 
though  I  had,  of  course,  never  before  attended  my  own 
funeral.  After  the  chants  were  over  and  the  reading  of 
passages  from  the  Arithmetic  had  ended  there  was  a  hymn, 
which  had  been  prepared  by  Mr.  Smalls  expressly  for  the 
occasion.  Copies  of  this  hymn  had  been  circulated  among 
the  audience,  and  it  was  thus  that  I  became  possessed  of 
it.  In  the  singing  Mr.  Nudwink's  voice  was  especially 
prominent,  though  it  was  Mr.  Smalls  who  really  led.  The 
hymn  was  as  follow'S  : 

*'  Now  when  the  dark  hour  of  ocean  draws  near, 
And  I  leave  the  sweet  hopes  I  have  cherished  so  here ; 
When  I  leave  this  fair  island,  oh,  why  should  I  care 
In  the  midst  of  the  waters  if  Numbers  be  there  ? 
If  Numbers  be  there, 
If  Numbers  be  there, 
In  the  midst  of  the  waters,  oh,  why  should  I  care  ? 

"  While  we  dwell  on  the  island,  this  beautiful  place, 
Oh,  let  us,  dear  integers,  look  for  His  face. 
If  we  seek  we  shall  find,  for  the  far  shall  come  near 
And  abide  in  our  spirits,  for  Numbers  is  here. 

For  Numbers  is  here, 

For  Numbers  is  here, 
If  we  seek  we  shall  find  Him,  for  Numbers  is  here 


MY    OWN    FUNERAL.  301 

"  Oh,  how  can  I  tell  what  that  bright  land  shall  be 
That  Numbers  has  promised  forever  for  me  ? 
When  I  leave  this  dear  island,  oh,  why  should  I  care, 
In  the  Oversea  country,  for  Numbers  is  there. 

For  Numbers  is  there, 

For  Numbers  is  there, 
When  I  leave  this  dear  island,  oh,  why  should  I  care  ? 

"  When  o'er  the  wild  ocean  my  soul  he  shall  waft, 
I  trust  all  my  hope  to  the  mystical  raft. 
I  know  only  this  in  the  midst  of  despair  : 
I  shall  pass  through  all  safely,  for  Numbers  is  there. 

For  Numbers  is  there, 

For  Numbers  is  there. 
To  Oversea's  glory,  and  Numbers  is  there." 

The  hymn  ended.  There  was  an  interval  of  silence, 
and  then  Mr.  Paul  Patnios,  having  mounted  upon  an  im- 
provised pulpit  on  one  of  the  steer  carts,  delivered  what 
from  the  standpoint  of  Inquirendo  opinion  was  a  most 
excellent  discourse.  There  were  some  things  in  it  to 
which,  very  naturally,  I  took  exception.  It  did  not 
appear  to  me  that  he  made  sufficient  distinction  between 
my  case  and  that  of  the  lunatic  on  my  right,  who  once 
or  twice  interrupted  the  proceedings  with  a  howl,  or  that 
of  the  idiot  on  my  left,  who  jabbered  and  blinked  to  him- 
self all  the  time.  I  considered  myself  entitled  to  at 
least  a  trilling  consideration  as  in  some  sort  belonging  to 
the  aristocracy  of  non  composmentiveness.  In  my  first 
year  at  West  Point  there  was  a  young  gentleman  whose 
name  was,  I  think,  Abbott — at  any  rate  it  began  with  'A' 
— who  was  found  deficient  and  sent  away  from  that  exact- 
ing institution.  He  was  in  sore  distress  ;  but  his  poor 
father,  who  had  come  from  somewhere  in  the  wilderness 
to  witness  a  triumph,  was  in  much  sadder  case. 

I  was  over  at  the  guard  house,  where  tne  list  of  defi- 


302  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

cients  was  read  off  by  the  cadet  adjutant.  The  old  man 
Hstened  to  his  boy's  disgrace  with  much  disquietude. 
Then  the  names  having  been  read  alphabetically  he 
blubbered  out,  a  smile  of  sad  satisfaction  struggling  with 
tears  :  "  At  any  rate,  Johnny  was  head  of  the  deficients  ; 
that's  one  comfort." 

So  it  appeared  to  me  that  if  1  was  non  compos,  at 
least  my  rank  as  the  head  of  the  unfortunate  trio  ought  to 
have  been  acknowledged. 

Alas  !  it  was  not,  and  we  were  all  linked  together  in 
the  worthy  rector's  mind  as  surplus  population,  by  which 
name  he  did  not  scruple  to  refer  to  us. 

The  sermon,  like  the  hymn,  at  last  was  over.  Again 
there  was  silence,  and  then  Mr.  Smalls  approached  and 
asked  me  if  there  was  anything  I  wished  to  say.  I  looked 
about  me.  Whis[)ering  together  upon  a  rock  in  the  rear 
sat  Nudwink  and  Gallwood,  close  together.  A  thought 
struck  me.  To  Oliver  and  Mr.  Mayland  I  had  already 
said  farewell.  Would  it  not  be  right  that  as  an  integer  I 
should  leave  the  island  at  peace  with  all  men  ?  I  signi- 
fied my  desire  for  a  few  last  words  with  Nudwink  and 
Gallwood.  Oliver  bore  my  message  and  the  two  ap- 
proached, Nudwink  with  a  sanctimonious  expression  of 
pretended  melancholy  thinly  disguising  his  satisfaction  aJ 
the  final  accomplishment  of  his  foul  purposes,  Gallwood 
with  his  handkerchief  to  his  face,  through  the  folds  of 
which  I  could  see  his  eyes  twinkling. 

Nudwink  and  I  clasped  hands.  He  looked  me  coolly 
in  the  eye  as  he  told  me  how  rejoiced  he  felt  that  in  my 
last  hours  I  had  given  my  heart  to  Mathematics  by  be- 
coming an  integer. 

"  I  should  have  been  better  pleased,"  he  observed,  "  if 
it  had  been  my   own   blessed   privilege  to  administer  the 


MY    OWN    FUNKRAI,.  303 

rite  of  cancellation,  and  if  you  had  used  the  mental  solu- 
tion rather  than  the  written,  which  latter  I  cannot — being 
strictly  Angelical — regard  as  other  than  replete  with  dan- 
ger ;  but  farewell,  dear  brother,  farewell.  I  am  truly  glad 
to  observe  that  you  cherish  no  enmity  against  those  who 
in  fulfilling  their  duty  to  society  have  unwittingly  been 
the  innocent  cause  of  your  trouble.     Farewell." 

So,  with  his  eyes  devoutly  raised,  Nudwink  turned 
away. 

"  Farewell,"  said  Gallwood,  coming  forward,  "farewell, 
Mr.  Clifif."  Then  as  our  hands  met,  he  leaned  forward 
and  whispered  hoarsely,  through  the  folds  of  his  handker- 
chief, which  was  still  pressed  to  his  face,  "  Who  has 
the  advantage  now  ? " 

I  saw  his  point  directly.     I  sighed. 

*'  Alas  !  Mr.  Gallwood,"  I  said,  "  in  this  island  advan- 
tages change  about  with  great  rapidity." 

"  They  do  indeed,"  responded  Gallwood,  "  but  I  am  truly 
glad  to  observe  that  you  keep  up  your  spirits  under  these 
distressing  circumstances.  I  understand,"  he  continued, 
"that  you  have  only  recently  been  cancelled.  Your  views 
must  have  undergone  a  considerable  change  since  you 
attended  Hurtheart's  lecture." 

"They  have  undergone  no  particular  change." 

"  What  1  no  change  1 " 

"  None  whatever." 

"  Then  how  did  it  happen  that  you  consented  to  be 
cancelled  ?  " 

"I  did  that  to  please  Margery.  ' 

"  Oh,  you  did.     And  pray  did  it  please  her  ?  " 

"  Immensely." 

"I  am  glad  you   told  me  that,  I'll  make  a  note  of  it. 


304  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

While  I  think  of  it,  Mr.  Cliff,  I  may  as  well  mention  that 
it  will  be  hereafter  mj^  fondest  desire  to  please  Margery." 

I  sighed  again. 

"  When  I  am  gone,  Gallwood,"  I  said,  earnestly,  "  and 
you  are  in  the  enjoyment  of  all  the  happiness  that  this 
island  affords,  spare  a  thought  in  the  midst  of  your  joy 
for  one  who  is  lying — '' 

"  Do  not  speak  of  it,  Mr.  Cliff.  I  shall  be  most  happy 
to  attend  to  that  or  any  other  little  commission  that  you 
may  suggest.  Is  there  anything  further  that  I  can  do 
for  you  ?  " 

"  Nothing,  I  believe." 

"  Then  I  shall  say  farewell.  You  have  this  advantage 
of  me,  Mr.  Cliff,  that  it  will  not  be  many  minutes  before 
you  will  know  whether  there  is  any  merit  in  the  process 
of  cancellation." 

*'  There  I  certainly  have  an  advantage,"  I  responded. 

"  Then  we  are  both  satisfied,"  said  Gallwood.  "  Well,  I 
won't  detain  you  any  longer,  as  I  see  you  have  urgent 
business.     Good-day." 

He  gave  my  hand  a  grip,  and  with  his  handkerchief 
pressed  to  his  eyes  he  went  back  to  the  side  of  Nudwink. 

The  ceremonies,  which  had  been  suspended  out  of  def- 
erence to  my  feelings,  were  now  resumed.  It  had  been 
arranged  that  I  should  suffer  last ;  so  the  poor  idiot  was 
brought  forward  first,  grinning,  and  blinking,  and  utterly 
unconscious  of  the  dreadful  fate  that  awaited  him.  He 
even  chattered  with  delight  as  he  approached  his  coffin, 
and  when  told  to  lie  down  therein  he  manifested  no  reluct- 
ance. He  suffered  himself  to  be  placed  in  a  reclining 
posture,  and  offered  no  opposition  when  the  lids  were 
closed  over  him  and  bolted  tightly.  There  was  a  signal 
given,  and  eight  stalwart  fellows  came  forward,  and  lifted 


MY   OWN    FUNERAL.  305 

the  enormous  iron  box,  which  must  have  weighed  upwards 
of  a  ton,  upon  their  shoulders,  and  bore  it  forward,  stag- 
gering, to  the  edge  of  the  sea-way. 

The  great  iron  doors  stood  open,  and  I  was  able  to 
look  down,  with  a  strange  interest,  into  my  own  grave. 
The  multitude  clustered  closely  round  the  edge  of  the  in- 
clined plane  on  which  the  cofifin  was  held  balanced.  Mr. 
Smalls  stood  on  one  side  and  Oliver  on  the  other,  while 
beside  them,  and  directly  in  front  of  the  door  of  the  tomb, 
stood — this  was  the  Inquirendian  custom — the  two  chief 
mourners — the  idiot's  father  and  mother.  There  was  a 
short  interval  of  silence,  and  then  Mr.  Smalls,  opening 
his  Arithmetic,  read  the  customary  verses  :  "  A  Factor 
of  a  number  is  its  Divisor." 

"The  number  above  the  line  is  called  the  Numera- 
tor." 

"The  Divisor  and  Quotient  are  factors  of  the  Divi- 
dend." 

The  formula  "  water  to  water  "  was  omitted  in  defer- 
ence to  the  wishes  of  the  parents. 

Mr.  Smalls  ceased  ;  the  bearers  heaved,  and  the  poor 
idiot  was  sent,  all  unconscious  still,  to  his  long  home  in 
the  sea. 

Then  the  maniac,  who  was  struggling  and  howling  fran- 
tically, was  treated  in  like  manner,  except  that  to  reduce 
him  to  submission  his  hands  were  tied.  The  bearers  bore 
him  to  the  coffin.  He  was  forced  into  it.  The  lids  were 
closed  and  bolted  securely  down.  Then  the  heavy  load 
was  raised,  and  as  before,  staggering  under  the  immense 
weight,  the  men  advanced  to  the  sea-w;iy.  The  solemn 
ritual  was  proceeded  with.  The  maniac  had  no  mourners, 
so  the  state  provided  dummies.  He  was  not  known  to 
have  been  cancelled,  so  the  church  gave  him  the  benefit 
20 


306  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

of  the  doubt.  In  his  case  the  coffin  was  sprinkled,  and 
Mr.  Smalls  used  the  words  "  water  to  water."  The  texts 
were  recited,  the  signal  was  given.  I  saw  the  bearers 
heave.  I  heard  the  rush  and  whir  of  the  descending  cof- 
fin, a  sound  of  a  great  splash,  and  the  ocean  had  swal- 
lowed the  maniac. 

A  great  horror  fell  upon  me.     It  was  now  my  turn. 

"  Come,"  said  one  of  the  attendants,  not  roughly  or  un- 
kindly, but  in  a  business-like  way  that  jarred  upon  my 
nerves.  I  made  no  resistance,  however,  but  followed  him 
directly.  I  was  about  to  lie  down  in  the  coffin,  which  was 
all  prepared  for  me,  when  there  was  a  wild  cry,  and  poor 
Margery,  unable  longer  to  control  herself,  darted  into  my 
arms. 

The  attendants  stopped  their  preparations,  and  the 
Governor  came  hastily  forward. 

**0h,  Margery,  this  will  never  do,"  he  said,  "you  are  for- 
getting yourself.  Come,  dearest,  come  with  me.  I  know 
Mr.  Cliff  will  excuse  you." 

"  Certainly,"  I  said,  and  then,  as  Margery  relaxed  her 
hold,  I  contrived  to  whisper  in  her  ear :  "  Do  not  be 
troubled,  darling,  remember  your  promise." 

"  I  do,  I  do,"  she  responded.  "  Oh,  John,  could  you 
think  that  I  would  forget  .-•  Rather  than  wed  that  loath- 
some Gallwood  I  would  cheerfully  die." 

If  Gallwood  had  heard  her  perhaps  he  would  not  have 
felt  so  confident  of  his  ability  to  please. 

Margery  was  led  away  by  her  father,  and  as  I  again 
stepped  forward  I  saw  that  she  had  taken  the  place  of  one 
of  my  chief  mourners  by  the  side  of  the  sea-way.  The 
other  mourner  was  Oliver.  This  had  not  been  my  doing; 
according  to  modern  science  they  had  selected  themselves. 
I  lay  down  in  my  coffin,  and  the  lid  was  closed  and  barred 


MY    OWN    FUNERAL.  307 

over  me.  It  was  not  entirely  dark,  and  I  could  plainly 
hear  the  tremulous  tones  of  Mr.  Smalls  as  he  recited  the 
touching  words  of  the  Arithmetic.  The  water  was  sprin- 
kled ;  the  words  said.  The  bearers  at  the  given  signal 
heaved  with  one  accord.  I  felt  myself  moving.  I  heard 
one  wild,  despairing  cry  and  all  became  dark,  as  the  iron 
coffin  thundered  down  the  sea-way  and  plunged  into  the 
ocean. 


CHAPTER    XXX. 

AN    APPROPRIATE    OCCASION. 

T  TAKE  this  appropriate  occasion  to  indulge  in  some 
-■■  moralizing  that  appears  to  be  not  only  desirable  but  al- 
most necessary  under  the  circumstances.  I  have  a  friend, 
Mr.  G.  I.  Cervus,  who  has  written  several  books  and  is 
in  his  way  something  of  a  critic,  who  suggests  that  some 
of  the  details  of  my  narrative  are  in  the  highest  degree 
improbable.  Being  asked  to  mention  those  which  he 
thinks  the  most  difficult  to  believe  he  very  promptly 
names  two  points  which  he  regards  as  particularly  open 
to  this  objection.  He  cannot  conceive,  he  says,  that  a 
community  so  far  advanced  in  the  arts  and  sciences  as 
the  Inquirendians  were  could  be  so  blind  as  to  allow 
themselves  to  regard  as  sacred  an  arithmetic,  or  that 
they  were  not  able  to  see  at  a  glance  the  real  character  of 
the  book.  The  second  point  which  he  makes  is  this  : 
that  although  it  is  quite  conceivable  that  the  Almighty 
might  be  adored  under  the  names  given  by  the  Inquiren- 
dians, yet  it  is  not  to  be  believed  that  the  absurd  mummer- 
ies which  passed  in  the  island  for  religious  worship  were 
ever  made  use  of  by  a  people  so  far  advanced  in  culture 
and  refinement.  This  critical  friend,  it  may  be  as  well  to 
remark,  does  not  affect  any  particular  phase  of  dogmatic 
belief  himself,  yet  being  a  man  of  very  strong  opinions  he 
is  tolerant  of  opinion,  and  wholly  averse  to  saying  any- 
thing that  might  give  offence.      In  other  words,  he  is  ex- 

308 


AN   APPROPRIATE    OCCASION,  309 

ceedingly  liberal  in  all  his  modes  of  thought.  I  was 
rather  surprised  that  he  should  have  selected  these  two 
points,  and  I  told  him  so.  We  were  sitting  together  in 
this  gentleman's  library  about  two  weeks  after  my  return 
from  the  island,  and  I  had  been  telling  him  (under  the 
strictest  injunctions  of  secrecy)  of  my  adventures,  and 
had  read  a  portion  of  the  previous  manuscript.  His  wife 
also  was  present,  and  seemed  to  take  a  deep  interest  in 
the  story, 

"  What  do  you  regard  as  the  most  improbable  part  of 
your  narrative,  John  ? "  Mr.  Cervus  asked  with  a  smile 
when  I  dissented  from  his  views. 

"  The  existence  of  such  an  island  in  the  Atlantic,"  I 
responded,  "  so  near  our  coast,  and  wholly  unknown. 
That  appears  to  be  the  most  extraordinary  statement  that 
I  have  made,  by  far." 

"It  is  rather  singular." 

"  And  yet  it  can  be  accounted  for,  I  think,  without 
much  difficulty." 

"  How  ? " 

"Have  you  a  map  of  the  world  on  Mercator's  projec- 
tion ? " 

Mr.  Cervus  brought  the  map, 

"  A  ruler  also,  if  you  please,"  I  said. 

He  brought  that  also, 

I  laid  the  ruler  down  upon  the  map,  and  traced  a 
number  of  lines  with  my  blue  pencil.  First  from  New 
York  to  Liverpool,  then  from  New  York  to  different 
European  ports,  and  to  the  Mediterranean,  and  also  lines 
from  the  capes  of  the  Chesapeake  and  the  mouth  of  the 
Delaware, 

I  called  my  friend's  attention  to  the  fact  that  there  was 
a  certain  very  considerable  space  enclosed  between   the 


3IO  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

blue  lines,  which,  crossing  and  recrossing  in  every  direc- 
tion elsewhere,  left  this  space — an  area  several  hundred 
miles  across  in  every  direction — absolutely  untouched. 

"  My  idea  is  this,"  1  said  :  "  the  island  is  not  high  ;  prob- 
ably the  highest  points  are  in  the  range  of  hills  separat- 
ing the  eighth  from  the  ninth  department,  and  they  cannot 
possibly  exceed  two  hundred  and  fifty  feet.  A  ship  would 
have  to  come  within  a  comparatively  short  distance  to  see 
the  island  at  all.  Now,  unless  driven  as  I  was  by  stress 
of  weather  out  of  its  course,  no  vessel  would  be  at  all 
likely  to  come  near  enough  on  any  commercial  voyage  to 
make  the  discovery.  You  see  by  the  lines  I  have  drawn 
the  ordinary  tracks  of  commerce  are  distinctly  laid  down, 
and  trade,  as  is  w^ell  known,  will  not  be  diverted,  unless 
under  exceptional  circumstances,  from  a  right  line." 

"Your  explanation   is  certainly   ingenious,"   said  my 
friend.     "  Come  and  see  what  you  think  of  it,  Mary," 

Mr.  Cervus  had  not  been  very  long  married.  His  wife 
was  busy  crochetting.  She  put  her  work  down  at  her 
husband's  request,  and  came  across  the  room  to  the 
table,  sa3'ing  as  she  did  so,  "  I  don't  know  much  about 
such  things.  I  am  sure  you  and  Mr.  Cliff  must  know 
best." 

My  friend  made  the  explanation.  She  listened,  and 
nodded  at  intervals. 

"So  you  see,  Mary,"  he  said,  "it  is  not  so  highly 
improbable,  after  all." 

"Yes,  I  see."  she  answered;  then,  brightening  up  sud- 
denly, "  Oh,  Mr.  Cliff,  where  did  you  get  that  dear  little 
blue  pencil  ?  I  never  saw  such  a  cunning  little  pen- 
cil in  all  my  life." 

There  was  some  more  conversation  respecting  the  pen- 
cil, and  then,  a  promise  having  been  exacted  from  me 


AN    APPROPRIATE   OCCASION.  3II 

thai  I  would  bring  one  just  like  it  for  her  the  next  time  I 
came,  Mary  went  back  to  her  crochetting. 

"  So  you  think  that  the  public  will  not  believe  that 
the  people  of  Inquirendo  regarded  the  Arithmetic  as 
sacred  ?  " 

"There  is  certainly  an  air  of  improbability  in  the  idea," 
my  friend  answered.  "  Now,  between  ourselves :  of 
course  your  opportunities  of  judging  have  been  better  than 
my  own.  How  do  you  account  for  the  existence  of  such 
a  community  and  for  their  peculiar  customs  ?  Have 
you  given  that  matter  any  thought .''  " 

"  Indeed  I  have,"  I  replied,  "  very  serious  thought." 

"  If  I  were  you,"  continued  my  friend,  soberly,  "I  cer- 
tainly should  embody  those  views  in  your  proposed  book." 

*•  Ikit  why  ?    Do  they  not  naturally  suggest  themselves  ? " 

"  To  literary  and  scientific  persons  no  doubt  they  do  ; 
but  the  great  mass  of  mankind  would,  I  fear,  regard  the 
whole  narrative  as  a  wild  and  improbable  tale,  unworthy 
of  serious  credence.  If  your  object  is  to  convince  you 
ought  certainly  to  explain  matters  more  fully ;  especially, 
as  you  have  cast  your  account  into  the  form  of  a  novel." 

"  It  is  none  the  less  true  for  that  reason,"  said  I,  a  little 
indignantly. 

"  That  may  be,  John  ;  but  when  you  are  my  age  you 
will  have  learned  that  novel  readers  do  not  like  to  be 
instructed.  They  will  look  at  your  book  simply  as  a  storv, 
and  perhaps  be  interested  in  the  love  affairs  of  John  Cliff 
and  Margery,  and  wax  indignant  over  the  villany  of  Gall- 
wood,  and  contemptuous  at  the  hypocrisy  of  Nudwink  ; 
but  they  will  totally  disbelieve  your  statement  respecting 
the  raft  and  the  Complex  Fractions  church,  and  all  that, 
even  if  they  take  the  trouble  to  read  what  you  have 
written." 


312  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  Do  you  think  so  ?  "'  I  asked,  gloomily. 

"  I  know  it,"  said  Mr.  Cervus,  emphatically ;  "  nine 
readers  out  of  ten  will  skip  all  you  have  been  at  so  much 
pains  to  write,  if  it  gives  them  the  slightest  trouble. 
Take  that  chapter  where  you  describe  the  mode  of  reckon- 
ing time,  and  so  forth,  and  the  other — one  of  the  last  you 
read — that  sermon  or  editorial  of  Mr.  Patmos'  about  the 
revised  Arithmetic ;  no  one  would  read  that  in  a  novel." 

"I  haven't  time  to  write  it  all  over,"  I  said,  much  dis- 
couraged. 

"No,  I  understand  that;  you  want  to  bring  it  before 
the  public  so  that  you  can  get  influence  to  have  the  Gov- 
ernment fit  out  a  ship." 

"  Yes,  that  is  true." 

"  Then  of  course  you  will  not  have  time.  There  are 
no  ships  in  the  Navy  now  that  are  fit  for  so  long  a  voyage  ; 
one  will  have  to  be  built  expressly  for  the  purpose.  You 
could  not  expect  to  have  a  vessel  before  spring." 

"  And  you  think  I  was  unwise  to  call  the  work  a 
novel ? " 

"  No,  I  do  not  go  as  far  as  that.  You  want  to  influence 
the  public,  do  you  not  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  Then  a  novel  is  the  best  shape  your  book  could  take ; 
but  if  you  will  be  advised  you  will  most  certainly  explain 
what  to  me — and  I  do  not  claim  to  be  a  fool — appears 
blind." 

"  If  you  think  so,"  I  answered,  "  of  course  I  will  do  it ; 
but—" 

"  Or  else,"  continued  Mr.  Cervus,  "  people  will  take 
the  whole  thing  for  a  joke." 

"  I  always  did  hate  to  explain  a  joke,"  said  I,  a  little 
mortified. 


AN    APPROPRIATE    OCCASION.  313 

"You  do  not  hate  it  any  more  than  I  do;  but  you  may 
depend  upon  it  in  this  instance,  the  facts  being  in  their 
nature  so  improbable,  it  will  be  necessary  to  give  all  your 
reasons  for  the  statements  you  have  made.  Even  I — and 
of  course  I  take  your  word  without  question — even  I  find 
it  almost  inconceivable  that  such  a  community  exists  with 
such  peculiar  customs.     It  is  almost  fabulous." 

"  And  yet  the  whole  thing  is  literally  true." 

"  I  do  not  doubt  it.  What  I  am  speaking  of  is  the  pub- 
lic incredulity.  Take  that  matter  of  the  raft,  for  instance, 
and  Numbers,  how  could  anything  be  more  utterly  un- 
reasonable than  that  such  an  absurdity  should  be  an  ob- 
ject of  veneration — " 

"  No  more  absurd  than  the  sun-worship  among  the  Par- 
sees  and  Peruvians." 

"Ah,"  said  Mr.  Cervus,  with  a  smile  of  superiority, 
"you  forget  that  there  was  a  physical  basis  for  that." 

"And  so  there  is  in  the  story  of  the  raft." 

"  You  surprise  me.  I  thought  you  said  distinctly  that 
these  people  had  no  notion  whatever  of  navigation." 

"  Nor  have  they." 

"Then  I  do  not  see — " 

"  It  is  all  plain  enough.  These  nine  original  inhabit- 
ants, or  digits,  as  they  called  them,  were  evidently  on 
board  of  some  vessel,  which  was  driven  out  of  her  course 
and  wrecked  on  the  island,  as  I  said  in  the  early  part  of 
the  book.  This  probably  happened  somewhere  about  the 
time  of  Henry  the  Eighth.  Numbers  was  an  individual 
who  constructed  a  raft  and  saved  these  nine,  and  who 
doubtless  lost  his  own  life  in  preserving  the  others." 

"  But  why  should  the  raft  have  become  an  object  of 
worship,  or  at  least  of  veneration  ?  " 

"These  people  were  all  undoubtedly  very  much  alarmed 


314  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

at  the  peril  they  were  in,  and  this  incident  was  no  doubt 
impressed  upon  their  memories  ever  after.  They  wer6 
unable  to  leave  the  island,  as  there  was  no  wood  out  of 
which  to  construct  a  vessel." 

"  They  had  the  raft." 

"  Certainly  ;  but  the  raft  was  a  small  affair,  and  be- 
sides, they  probably  felt  themselves  safer  on  shore.  I 
can  only  account  for  the  presence  of  sheep  and  cattle  on 
the  supposition  that  live  stock  constituted  the  cargo  of 
the  ship  and  that  some  of  them  swam  ashore.  The  seeds 
— for  they  had  vegetables,  you  remember,  of  all  kinds — 
were  doubtless  preserved  in  some  similar  way." 

"  But  how  did  the  strange  notion  that  the  sea  was 
death  arise  ? " 

"  I  account  for  that  also  naturally  enough.  It  is,  I 
think,  undoubted  that  all  these  original  inhabitants  were 
overwhelmed  with  horror  and  dread  of  the  sea,  and  this  feel- 
ing, intensified,  was  transmitted  to  their  posterity.  Per- 
haps some  of  their  women  were  pregnant  at  the  time  of 
the  wreck.  I  can  easily  suppose  that  children  might  have 
been  mentally  so  marked  that  the  aversion  in  the  parents 
became,  in  due  course  of  nature,  absolute  conviction  that 
the  touch  of  the  sea  was  death.  There  is  nothing  essen- 
tially improbable  in  that." 

"No,  perhaps  not;  but  the  singular  religion  still  re. 
mains  to  be  accounted  for.  A  religion  that  is,  I  may  say, 
absolutely  unique,  differing  as  it  does  from  any  known 
to  exist  in  the  world." 

'•  You  will  think  it  strange,  perhaps,  but  yet  I  trace  the 
origin  directly  to  Christianity.  It  seems  to  me  that  the 
tradition  of  the  one  called  Angel  and  his  associates  makes 
the  whole  matter  tolerably  clear.  I  am  of  the  opinion 
that  all  the  original  inhabitants  were   persons  of  limited 


AN    ArPROl'RIAl'E    OCCASION'.  315 

intelligence,  and  probably  all  of  the  lower  classes,  with 
the  exception  of  this  one  called  Angel,  who  was  a  skilled 
artisan  in  several  directions.  There  may  have  been  a 
weaver  among  the  others  perhaps,  or  a  blacksmith  ;  cer- 
tainly there  must  have  been  some  persons  skilled  in  va- 
rious crafts  ;  but  the  traditions  are  positive  that  to  Angel 
was  due  the  so-called  inventions  and  the  working  of  the 
mines,  particularly  the  mine  of  iron.  That  there  was  not 
a  priest  among  them  I  regard  as  certain,  otherwise  there 
would  have  been  transmitted  many  more  religious  phrases, 
words  and  names,  to  the  exclusion  even  of  principles. 
These,  as  I  have  noted,  were  almost  entirely  absent.  I  feel 
also  assured  that  none  of  the  nine  had  any  strong  relig- 
ious convictions ;  but  that  some  one  or  more,  probably 
of  the  women,  as  they  advanced  in  life  with  young  children, 
began  to  feel  twinges  of  conscience  respecting  religious 
matters,  and  perhaps  more  for  the  children's  sake  than 
even  for  their  own,  when  they  found  themselves  drawing 
near  their  end  they  made  some  attempt  to  relate  what 
they  had  learned  in  early  life  of  religion.  The  children 
who  heard  this  story  (garbled  as  it  must  have  been)  had 
the  story  itself  very  firmly  impressed  upon  their  imagina- 
tions while  the  names  were  almost  all  forgotten.  I  can 
imagine  that  these  children,  grown  in  their  turn  to  matur- 
ity, transmitted  this  tale,  accompanied  by  the  story  as  told 
to  them  of  the  rescue  and  the  raft,  in  such  a  manner  that 
the  two  accounts  became  finally  blended.  It  would  be 
in  the  highest  degree  natural  that  the  Bible  should  have 
been  spoken  of  as  containing  all  the  truths  respecting  re- 
ligion. I  suppose  that  the  second  or  third  generation, 
having  been  taught  to  read,  and  a  smattering  of  simple 
learning  having  been  imparted  by  Angel,  found  that  copy 
of  the  Arithmetic — doubtless  part  of  an  old  horn  book — 


3l6  INQl'IRENDO    ISLAND. 

on  the  shore  washed  up  beyond  the  reach  of  the  waves, 
and  having  never  been  told  of  any  book  but  the  Bible  they 
assumed  this  to  be  that  much  valued  one  to  which  allusion 
had  been  made  by  their  parents.  Assuming  all  this  to  be 
true  the  rest  is  easy  to  understand." 

"  You  spoke  of  some  of  the  original  inhabitants  as 
workers  ;  what  do  you  understand  by  that  term  ? " 

"  I  give  it  up,"  said  I,  laughing,  '•  bachelors  perhaps." 

"  Your  reasoning  appears  plausible,"  said  Mr.  Cervus, 
"  but  I  see  nothing  in  what  you  have  stated  of  these  peo- 
ple's beliefs  that  resembles  Christianity." 

"  The  controlling  principles  are  identical,"  I  responded, 
"although  the  names  are,  of  course,  widely  different." 

"  There  is  one  other  point,"  said  Mr,  Cervus,  after  a 
pause  :  "  is  it  probable  that  the  language  used  by  the 
islanders  would  be  as  pure  English  as  appears  in  your 
narrative  ? " 

"  I  have  thought  of  that,"  I  answered  ;  "  it  really  was  a 
peculiar  idiom,  but  not  so  peculiar  as  to  be  difficult  of 
comprehension.  I  hate  old-fashioned  dialect  stories  my- 
self, and  therefore  made  no  attempt  to  reproduce  it." 

"  Perhaps  you  are  right,"  said  my  friend  ;  "  but  if  I  were 
you  I  should  explain  it." 

"  At  all  events,"  he  continued,  "  you  have  certainly 
written  a  most  entertaining  account  of  your  adventures. 
Whether  your  explanation  of  the  origin  of  the  Inquiren- 
dian  religion  is  or  is  not  the  true  one,  it  is  certainly  ingen- 
ious.    Don't  you  think  so,  Mary  ?  " 

Mrs.  Cervus  was  busy  taking  up  a  dropped  stitch. 

"What  did  you  say,  dear?  Excuse  me,  I  wasn't  list- 
ening." 

My  friend  repeated  his  question. 

"  Entertaining,  oh,  yes,  indeed,  very." 


AN    APPROPRIATE    OCCASrON.  317 

"What  did  3011  tliink  of  Mr.  Clilt's  views  of  the  religion 
of  the  islanders  ?  " 

"  What  did  I  think  ?  " 

"Yes." 

She  hesitated. 

"  We  had  such  a  beautiful  sermon  last  Sunday,"  she 
said,  at  last ;    "  it  was  on  that  very  subject." 

"Oh,  no,  my  dear,  that  could  hardly  be  possible." 

"  Yes,  it  was  about  sending  missionaries  to  the  islands." 

"But  the  minister  knew  nothing  of  Inquirendo." 

"  No,  I  suppose  not ;  but  they  took  up  a  collection,  and  I 
was  so  mortified  because  I  found  that  I  had  left  my  purse 
in  the  pocket  of  my  other  dress." 

"  I  suppose  when  it  becomes  knowm  that  there  is  such 
an  island  as  Inquirendo,"  I  said,  "  that  they  will  be  send- 
ing missionaries  there." 

"Oh,  I  hope  so,  I  do  hope  so,"  said  Mary,  laying  down 
Iier  crochet  in  her  lap,  "  and  I  should  be  glad  to  contrib- 
ute. I  think  it  so  dreadful  to  be  without  religion. 
Though  there  seems  to  be  a  growing  belief,"  she  addtd. 
resuming  the  crochet-work,  "  that  it  is  becoming  more  and 
more  confined  to  the  upper  classes  of  society.  Of  course 
I  cannot  help  feeling  that  this  is  a  pity." 

Mrs.  Cervus  was  a  very  lovely  woman  ;  but  as  it  hap- 
pens there  are  many  things  said  by  lovely  women  that  do 
not  call  for  any  special  reply.  I  made  none  in  this  in- 
stance, the  lady  continued  her  diligence  at  the  crochet- 
work,  and  soon  after  I  took  my  leave. 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 

SOME    DETAILS    IN    RESPECT   TO    MY   COFFIN. 

T  ET  US  now  return  to  my  condemned  cell,  and  to  a 
^-^  somewhat  more  detailed  narration  of  the  events  of 
the  week  preceding  my  execution. 

In  response  to  my  request,  Margery  sent  word  by  one 
of  the  servants  at  the  hotel  where  she  was  stopping  to  the 
Governor  of  the  Fabrican,  and  the  day  after,  quite  early, 
that  person  despatched  one  of  his  most  skilled  workmen 
to  me,  with  orders  to  place  himself  at  my  disposal.  It  will 
perhaps  be  remembered  that,  according  to  Inquirendian 
custom,  a  condemned  person  was  given  the  right  to  one 
single  favor,  and  it  was  in  consequence  of  this  that  I  sent 
for  a  worker  in  iron. 

Robert  Crafts  was  the  man's  name.  Although  a  some- 
what lugubrious,  yet  he  was  not  at  all  a  disagreeable  in- 
dividual, and  understood  his  business  well  in  all  its 
branches.  What  was  perhaps  even  more  to  the  purpose, 
he  was  possessed  of  an  acute  and  discerning  mind.  He 
was  a  silent  man,  but  an  attentive  listener,  and  he  readily 
comprehended  the  purport  of  all  I  said  to  him.  After  we 
had  conversed  for  an  hour  or  more,  he  made  a  suggestion 
that  found  favor  with  me.  He  therefore  went  out  into  the 
city,  and  made  sundry  purchases  of  stiff,  smooth  paper, 
pencils,  rulers,  and  a  compass.  When  he  returned,  we 
spread  out  the  paper  on  a  table  which  I  happened  to  have, 
and  with  the  pencil,  rulers,  and  compass,  and  by  consult- 

318 


SOME   DETAILS    IN    RESPECT   TO    MV    COFFIN.  319 

ing  together,  we  managed   to  get  a  number  of  diacrams 
mace,  with  which  I  was  well  satisfied,  and  which  Crafts 
declared  he  understood   thoroughly.     It  was  dark   before 
we  had  finished,  but   the  gas  was  lighted,  and  I  spent  a 
portion  of  the  evening  in  explaining  certain  matters  of  de-' 
tail  that  I  thought  were  essential.     It  was  natural  that  at 
t..-st    there  should  have  been    difficulty,  and   that   I  wa. 
obliged  to  go  over  my    work   many  times  before   Crafts 
thoroughly  understood  my  object.     I  very  soon  discovered 
that  my  preconceived  notions  of  a  design  would  have  to 
be  abandoned.     I  had  been  at  much  pains  to  fabricate  a 
sniall  model  in  the  clay  which  Oliver  procured  for  me,  and 
this  was  to  a  certain  extent  an  advantage;  but  the  expla- 
nation of  this  on  paper,  and  the  working  out  of  a  practi- 
cal design  for  a  practical  man  to  reproduce  in  iron  I  found 
would  be  a  vastly  more  difficult  process.     It  was  not  lon^ 
before  I  concluded  to  abandon    my  original    project  en 
t.rely,  and  to  let  Crafts  himself  have  his^own  way  respect- 
ing the  method  of  accomplishing  mv  object. 

My  own  views  in  the  first  instance  had  only  been  those 
of  one  whose  experience  was  limited  to  working  in  wood 
and  to  reproduce   in  another   material  a  result  was  some- 
thing that  required  no  little  of  that  quality  or  resultant  of 
qualities  which  (for  the  want  of   a  better  word)  may  be 
called  genius.     I  did  not  possess  genius.     Crafts  did, 'and 
It  was  not  above  an  hour  after  we  sat  down  together  before 
he  was  instructing  me,  not  I  him.       He  grasped  my  ideas 
with  celerity,  and  when  the  paper  and  apparatus  had  been 
procured,  he  it  was  who,  by  a  few  dexterous  strokes,  drawn 
to  a  suitable  scale,  indicated  a   plan   that  I   perceived   at 
once   was  easy  and   practicable.     Mv  chief   difficulty  had 
been  the  short  time  at  our  disposal,  and  the  necessity  that 
I  iniagmed  existed  for  the  making  of  suitable  patterns 


320  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

This  necessity  was  obviated  by  Crafts,  who  showed  me 
conckisively  that  what  I  desired  could  be  accomplished  in 
wrought  steel  much  better  than  in  cast.  As  all  the  plates 
of  steel  were  kept  in  stock  at  the  Fabrican,  I  saw  at  a 
glance  that  all  that  was  needed  was  a  little  patient  inge- 
nuity, which  I  now  felt  assured  Crafts  could  supply.  As 
the  sea-way  was  six  feet  (using  our  linear  measure)  in 
each  direction,  broad  and  deep,  these  dimensions  gave  us 
our  limits.  In  the  end  it  was  decided  that  the  working 
drawings  should  be  prepared,  to  fit  our  construction, 
which  was  to  be  five  feet  deep,  six — or  a  trifle  less,  to  allow 
free  play — in  breadth,  and  about  sixteen  feet  long.  J 
spent  a  portion  of  the  afternoon  in  making  a  calculation 
of  weights,  for  which  T  had  frequent  occasion  to  consul*^ 
the  arithmetic,  and  won  great  credit  in  this  from  Mr 
Crafts,  who,  being  himself  a  rigid  old  Multiplier  under 
stood  the  need  there  was,  as  he  expressed  it,  of  Mathe- 
matical assistance.  For  reasons  of  my  own,  while  so  em- 
ployed I  did  not  show  Crafts  the  processes  by  which  1 
arrived  at  my  results.  His  own  figuring  had  a  totally  dif- 
ferent basis,  and  on  more  than  one  occasion  I  was 
obliged  to  resort  to  some  specious  arguments  to  convince 
him  that  certain  proportions  were  essential.  He  was  a 
rather  self-willed  man,  but  likewise  open  to  conviction, 
and  in  the  end  he  gave  in  to  my  views,  and  the  plans 
were  drawn  in  accord  therewith.  Beside  the  use  of  the 
I'aperand  pencil,  I  was  enabled  to  take  advantage  of  the 
smooth  iron  of  the  floor  of  my  cell,  whereon  we  drew  with 
chalk  certain  rude  designs  to  a  half  scale  of  all  the  parts 
of  our  proposed  work. 

This,  as  finally  agreed  upon,  was  simple  enough.  There 
was  a  solid  iron  to  be  first  set  upright,  about  sixteen  feet 
in  length,  the  top  of  which  was  to  be  firmly  riveted   to   a 


SOME    DETAILS    IN    RESPECT   TO    MY   COFFIN.  321 

chaiinel-bar,  into  which  the  plates  were  to  be  inserted, 
overlapping  in  a  manner  somewhat  similar  to  the  clap^ 
boards  of  a  common  frame  house,  although  not  down- 
wards, but  from  front  to  rear.  This  was  the  suggestion 
of  Crafts,  and  it  is  not  necessarj-  to  state  was  satisfactory 
in  every  particular. 

In  front  there  was  only  one  plate,  at  right  angles  to  the 
channel-bar;  then  followed  two  overlapping;  after  these 
broader  and  longer,  and  spread  slightl)-,  were  two  more, 
and  so  on,  each  pair  spreading  more  and  more,  and  being 
longer  as  they  progressed  towards  the  middle,  and  likewise 
broader.  After  the  mid  point  was  reached  there  was  a 
gradual  diminishing  towards  the  other  end.  The  shape 
of  the  several  sheets  of  steel  may,  I  think,  be  readily  im- 
agined without  the  aid  of  a  diagram. 

In  my  instructions  to  Crafts  the  weights  of  these  sev- 
eral sheets  were  designated  .very  accurately  (of  course  re- 
duced to  Inquirendian  equivalents),  and  this  accuracy  was 
a  source  of  considerable  surprise  to  the  man,  althouc^h  he 
good-humoredly  gave  way  to  what  he  no  doubt  considered 
as  mere  whims  of  a  dying,  or  perhaps  hallucinations  of  a 
non  compos,  person. 

"  In  my  time,"  said  he,  very  positively,  "  I've  'ad  a  'and 
in  getting  up  more'n  a  hundred  coffins  for  them  as  'ad  a 
fahncy  in  the  coffin  way;  but  I  never  see  a  gent  as  wos 
so  'andy,  not  to  say  pertikeler,  as  you,  sir." 
I  laughed. 

"Well,  Crafts,"  I  answered,  "I  suppose  last  dying 
wishes  ought  to  be  respected." 

"In  course,  in  course;  I'm  not  a  objectin'.  If  a  gent 
wants  a  coffin  built,  why,  I  builds  it.  I've  got  nothink  to 
say  as  to  nothink." 

"  Good  !  "  said  I,  emphatically. 


222  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  But  I  do  say  this,"  Crafts  continued,  with  equal  em- 
phasis, "  it's  sheer  waste  of  money  to  have  them  sheets 
rolled  down  so  fine.  It'll  make  the  cost  come  to  double. 
If  you'd  a  been  willin'  to  keep  'em  'arf  a  hinch,  'twould  a 
come  to  no  more'n  nine  shillin' ;  has  it  his,  hit'll  run 
hup  to  two  pun,  let  'lone  the  traps  hinside.  Hif  we've  got 
to  roll  'em  down  to  a  heighth  of  a  hinch  the  hexpense  '11 
be  henormous." 

I  satisfied  Crafts  that  the  expense  of  my  proposed  coffin 
was  of  no  moment  whatever,  and  as  the  payments  were 
guaranteed,  he  made  no  further  objection.  He  left  me 
with  the  promise  to  report  every  day  as  the  work  pro- 
gressed, and  this  promise  he  faithfully  fulfilled.  The 
chief  difficulty  lay  in  the  details.  Beside  the  outer 
framework  there  were  matters  connected  with  the  cover, 
the  arrangement  of  the  braces,  and  the  construction  of 
certain  slots  and  bolts,  as  to  which  I  was  very  particular, 
and  I  fear  tried  poor  Mr.  Crafts'  patience  exceedingly. 
Oliver  was  with  me  every  day,  and  with  true  kindness  of 
heart  humored  what  he  considered  my  caprices.  He  went 
back  and  forward  to  the  Fabrican  almost  daily,  and  was 
invaluable  to  me  ;  so  much  so  that  I  doubt  if  my  coffin 
would  have  been  completed  in  time  if  he  had  not  united 
his  loving  efforts  to  those  of  Crafts.  The  arrangement 
of  the  flexible  hinges,  by  which  it  was  supposed  Numbers 
was  able  to  get  at  an  integer,  had  to  be  calculated  with 
great  nicety,  and  about  this  I  was  for  a  time  very  anxious, 
as  the  ordinary  construction  conflicted  somewhat  with  my 
own  views.  However,  all  this  was  settled  at  last,  and  at 
the  close  of  the  ninth  day  after  my  conviction  Oliver  re- 
ported that  the  coffin  was  completed.  He  also  told  me 
that  it  had  been  arranged  that  I  should  have  an  opportu- 
nity to  inspect  it  early  on  the  following  morning,  when  it 


SOME    DETAILS    IN    RESPECT    TO    MY    COFFIN. 


323 


would  pass  through  the  city  on  the  way  to  the  place  of  ex- 
ecution. 

I  was  up  and  at  my  window  by  dawn,  and  not  long 
after  was  much  gratified  by  seeing  the  oxen  coming  slowly 
along  the  street  followed  by  a  great  crowd.  Crafts  came 
up  to  my  cell,  and  was  very  much  gratified  at  the  compli- 
ments 1  paid  him  for  his  work.  Crafts  had  indeed  carried 
out  my  instructions  remarkably  well.  As  the  oxen  halted 
in  front  of  the  window  the  lids  were  removed,  and  1  was 
enabled  to  see  distinctly  all  the  parts  of  the  interior.  It 
had  been  divided  as  I  had  ordered  into  two  equal  parts  in 
front,  and  in  the  rear  was  an  open  space.  In  the  upright 
partition  was  a  slab  of  steel,  working  on  a  pivot  towards 
the  front,  and  which  could  be  raised  or  lowered  at  pleas- 
ure. The  projection  in  the  rear,  about  which  there  had 
been  some  discussion,  had  been  most  satisfactorily  ar- 
ranged, and  Crafts  had  one  of  his  workmen  swing  it  from 
side  to  side  to  show  me  how  well  it  worked.  The  hole 
that  I  had  designed  near  the  front  end  of  the  coffin  had 
been  fitted  with  an  iron  plug,  but  a  ring  had  been  attached 
to  this  in  deference  to  my  wishes.  The  poles  were  brought 
out,  and  at  my  request  the  two  shorter  ones  were  placed 
in  the  swivels  on  either  side,  and  the  longer  was  inserted 
into  the  hole  which  I  have  mentioned.  Everything  worked 
admirably,  and  I  could  not  help  expressing  my  unbounded 
gratification.  The  plug  in  this  hole  was  not  at  all  an 
essential  part  of  the  construction  ;  but  as  the  church  rules 
forbade  more  than  one  opening  in  the  coffin,  I  was 
forced  to  the  alternative  of  either  doing  withtjut  the  hole 
altogether,  or  having  it  made  and  then  plugged  up.  As 
the  hole  was  in  my  opinion,  if  not  essential,  at  least  desir- 
able, I  gave  the  order  to  have  it  made,  and  then  plugged 


324  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

up.     Oliver  was  much  distressed  that  I  was  so  persistent 
in  this  matter. 

"  There  is  but  one  access  to  Mathematics,"  said  he,  "  and 
to  an  integer  it  seems  so  irreverent  to  even  suggest  the 
possibility  of  there  being  more  than  one.  Straight  is  the 
gate  and  narrow  is  the  way,"  he  continued,  "  and  by  mak 
ing  a  round  hole  in  your  coffin,  it  would  seem  to  be  im- 
plied that  a  round  opening  was  as  good  as  a  square  one, 
which  the  Arithmetic  assures  us  in  divers  places  is  not  the 
case." 

"  But,"- 1  replied,  somewhat  thoughtlessly,  "  this  coffin  of 
mine  is  sanctioned  by  the  Arithmetic." 

"  How  so  ?  "  asked  Oliver.  "  Can  you  point  out  the 
passages  ? " 

I  was  rather  confused.  I  made  an  evasive  reply  to  the 
effect  that  it  would  take  time. 

"  As  you  have  had  the  hole  plugged,"  said  Oliver,  "it 
really  makes  no  great  difference  ;  that  is  no  serious  obsta- 
cle to  your  eternal  well-being  ;  but  no  point  is  more  con- 
clusively established  than  this  one,  that  in  Numbers  alone 
is  safety.  The  door  by  which  Numbers  approaches  the 
integer  is  plainly  indicated  in  the  Arithmetic  in  divers 
places." 

"  Yes,"  I  said,  "  I  understand  that — "  I  was  about  to 
add  that  my  reliance  was  not  to  be  found  in  divers,  but 
rather  in  floaters'  places,  but  from  motives  of  prudence, 
lest  my  meaning  should  be  misapprehended  by  Oliver,  I 
refrained. 

The  oxen  aigain  started  on  their  journey,  and  I  sat  down 
by  the  window  and  watched  them  as  they  passed  from 
sight.  Oliver  explained  to  me  that  as  soon  as  they  were 
outside  of  the  city  they  would  be  put  to  the  top  of  their 
speed,  and  as  relays  had  been  provided  all  along  the  route 


SOME    DETAILS    IN    RESPECT    TO    MY    COFFIN,  325 

there  was  no  doubt  whatever  that  the  coffin  would   reach 
the  place  of  execution  at  the  appointed  hour. 

"  I  hope  it  will,"  I  remarked  ;  "  it  would  be  very  awk- 
ward if  by  any  chance  it  should  not  arrive." 

."Give  yourself  no  unnecessary  uneasiness,"  replied  Ol- 
iver, sympathetically.  "  There  is  very  little  danger  of  there 
being  any  delay ;  and  even  if  there  should  be  I  have  taken 
the  precaution  to  order  another  coffin  sent  from  the  Fab- 
rican  by  another  route." 

"  But,"  said  I,  irritably,  "  I  do  not  want  any  other  coffin. 
I  want  that  one." 

"The  other  is  even  more  expensive,"  said  Oliver,  sooth- 
ingly. 

I  was  angry,  and  indeed  to  some  extent  alarmed.  "  I 
don't  care  a  copper  continental,"  said  I,  with  some  asper- 
ity, perhaps  ill-befitting  my  character  as  a  newly  can- 
celled integer.      "  I  want  m}*own  coffin." 

"  Do  not  excite  yourself  needlessly,"  said  Oliver,  calmly. 
"  The  other  coffin  of  which  I  spoke  could  not  possibly 
fail  to  satisfy  even  the  most  exacting — " 

"  I  want  my  owfi  coffin,"  1  repeated. 

"There  is  little  doubt  that  it  will  arrive  in  time,"  said 
Oliver.  "  I  knew  that  you  would  like  to  see  it  so  I  gave 
instructions  that  it  should  be  brought  this  way.  I  only 
spoke  of  the  matter  at  all  to  ease  your  mind,  lest  you 
should  think  there  might  not  be  a  nice  coffin  provided. 
I  know  some  minds  are  so  constituted  that  they  are  not 
satisfied  unless  every  little  detail  in  respect  to  their  fu- 
neral is  carried  out." 

"You  have  hit  the  point  exactly,  Oliver,"  I  said,  "I 
am  just  one  of  that  kind." 

"So,"  continued  Oliver,  "desiring  to  please  you,  I  had 
a  coffin  sent  the  other  way,  so  as  to  make  sure.     It  has 


326  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

been  waiting  at  the  Fabrican  for  upwards  of  two  years 
now  for  a  purchaser.  It  was  built  for  a  Mr.  Mopes,  who 
was  supposed  to  be  wealthy,  but  whose  estate  turned  out 
to  be  much  less  than  was  expected.  His  heirs  refused  to 
live  up  to  the  bargain  made  by  the  old  man  before  he 
died,  and  the  coffin  has  been  on  hand  ever  since.  I  got 
the  refusal  of  it  at  a  very  low  figure — less  than  cost,  in 
fact." 

"  But  what  makes  you  think  that  my  own  coffin  may 
possibly  not  be  there  in  time  }  " 

"I  don't  say  it  will  not.  Still,  there  was  a  fear  that 
the  bridge  just  the  other  side  of  the  asylum  had  not 
been  strengthened  sufficiently  to  allow  it  to  pass  over  in 
safety.  But  do  not  be  alarmed,  Gallwood  has  promised  to 
see  that  it  is  shored  up  properly." 

"  Gallwood  !  "  I  stammered.  "  Does  my  safety  depend 
upon  his  exertions  ?  " 

"  Why  do  you  speak  so  ?  "  said  Oliver,  "  Gallwood  takes 
the  very  deepest  possible  interest  in  you."  Then  he 
added  in  another  tone,  "  Do  not  allow  yourself  to  brood 
over  these  things.  Fix  your  thoughts  in  these  your  last 
hours  upon  a  consideration  of  your  latter  end." 

My  response  to  this  was  to  pull  out  a  memoranda  that 
I  had  made  on  a  fly-leaf  of  the  Arithmetic. 

"  What  strain  is  the  bridge  of  the  asylum  calculated  to 
bear  ?  "  said  I. 

Although  Oliver  was  not  well  satisfied  that  I  should 
harp  upon  the  subject  as  I  did,  yet  he  gave  me  the  de- 
sired information.  I  made  a  quick  calculation  ;  assuming 
the  oxen  to  weigh  so  much,  and  the  cart  to  weigh  so  much 
more,  I  easily  informed  mj'self  that  there  was  a  bare  pos- 
sibility of  the  whole  train,  coffin  and  all,  going  over  safely, 
even  without  any  of  Gallwood's  shoring.     There  was  not 


SOME   DETAILS    IN    RESPECT   TO    MY   COFFIN,  327 

much  lo  spare,  but  still  the  result  of  my  calculations  was 
satisfactory.  I  knew  to  a  pound  the  weight  of  my  own 
coffin,  and  my  hope  was  based  upon  the  fact  that  I  felt 
confident  was  unknown  to  Gallwood,  that  its  weight  was 
only  about  one-third  that  of  the  lightest  made. 

Not  to  harrow  up  the  feelings  of  the  reader  unnecessarily 
I  shall  pass  over  the  events  of  the  few  hours  that  elapsed 
until,  in  company  with  Oliver  and  Mr.  Smalls,  I  arrived  at 
the  appointed  place  of  execution  on  the  coast.  We  had 
been  driven  over  from  the  capital  with  the  fleetest  team 
of  oxen,  relays  of  which  were  also  provided.  In  this  way 
we  proceeded  with  very  great  rapidity,  and  it  was  exactly  at 
the  hour  that  had  been  officially  designated  by  the  court 
when  we  drove  into  the  midst  of  the  assembled  concourse. 
The  idiot  and  the  maniac,  of  whom  mention  has  been 
made,  had  been  sent  by  slower  stages  the  previous  day. 
Until  we  passed  the  bridge  beyond  the  asylum  I  was  in  a 
state  of  great  trepidation,  and  must  have  given  some 
slight  offence  to  my  travelling  companions,  who  both 
strove  to  fix  my  attention  on  certain  passages  of  the  Arith- 
metic, which  they  declared  to  be  peculiarly  adapted  to  my 
unfortunate  condition.  Mr.  Smalls  especially  must  at  one 
point  in  the  journey  have  had  his  feelings  hurt,  although 
it  was  entirely  unintentional  on  my  part.  This  was  just 
as  we  were  approaching  the  bridge  and  I  was  partic- 
ularly worried  lest  there  might  have  been  a  mishap. 
There  was  a  rather  long  hill  after  leaving  the  asylum, 
and  it  was  as  we  neared  the  summit  of  this  incline  that  I 
was  especially  on  the  alert.  I  knew — because  I  had  passed 
over  that  road  several  times  before,  and  as  my  memory 
was  retentive — that  beyond  the  top  of  the  brow  ahead  I 
should  be  able  to  look  down  over  the  valley  where  the 
bridge  spanned  the  gorge.     It  was  no  wonder  that  I  was 


328  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

anxious ;  but  still  I  freely  admit  that  I  ought  not  to 
have  shown  my  anxiety  so  plainly,  I  do  not  in  the  least 
wonder  that  Mr.  Smalls  felt  annoyed,  and  I  take  this  op- 
portunity of  apologizing  to  him.  It  was  the  third  relay  of 
oxen  since  leaving  the  capital,  and  the  fourth  was  to  be 
provided  a  short  distance  beyond  the  bridge.  The  hill 
was  long ;  the  weather  was  insufferably  hot ;  not  a  breath 
of  air  was  stirring;  the  oxen  had  come  at  full  gallop  for  a 
long  distance,  and  so  the  driver  considerately  allowed  them 
to  go  up  the  hill  at  a  walk.  While  the  close,  confined, 
covered  vehicle  was  dragged  slowly  along  Mr.  Smalls  im- 
proved the  occasion  by  reading  to  me  sundry  texts  which 
he  considered  suitable.  One  after  another  he  drawled 
these  out  with  tantalizing  monotony  of  voice,  which  was 
an  additional  agony,  on  a  par  with  the  heat,  and 
the  dust,  and  the  slow  pace  of  the  oxen.  These  latter 
switched  their  tails,  and  tossed  their  horns,  and  every  now 
and  then  even  stopped  to  kick  a  fly  off  their  nose  or  ear 
with  a  hind  foot. 

I  was  very  anxious,  and  when  Mr.  Smalls,  seeing  that 
my  attention  was  wandering  (for  I  poked  my  head  out 
more  than  once),  sighed,  and  said  that  it  behooved  me  to 
make  an  effort  to  fix  my  attention  on  the  pages  of  the 
word,  I  responded  that  I  could  do  so  with  more  cordial- 
ity after  I  had  been  assured  that  my  coffin  had  passed  ihe 
bridge  in  safety.  Mr.  Smalls  again  sighed,  and  taking  up 
the  Arithmetic  began  again  : 

"  Twice  one  make  two,"  he  read. 

At  this  instant  the  oxen,  having  arrived  at  the  top  of 
the  incline,  took  up  a  brisk  trot,  and,  unmindful  of  Mr. 
Smalls'  feelings,  of  the  Arithmetic,  and  of  aught  else  ex- 
cept my  coffin,  I  stuck  my  head  out  of  the  window  of  the 
carriage,  and,  as  we    reached    the    further   blufif,  looked 


SOME    DEIAIl-S    IN    RESl'ECr    TO    MV    COKEIN.  329 

down  over  the  valle-y.  'I'he  bridge  was  there  safe,  and 
there  was  no  sign  of  my  coftir.  in  sight  anywhere.  I  gave 
a  great  sigh  of  relief  and  pulled  in  my  head  instantly. 

"Goon,"  said  I,  now  complaisant  enough,  "go  on,  Mr. 
Smalls,  I  am  very  much  interested." 

Both  Mr.  Smalls  and  Oliver  looked  as  if  they  did  not 
believe  me,  but  the  former  went  on  : 
"Twice  two  make  four." 

"That  is  true,"  said  I.  In  my  great  joy  that  I  had  not 
seen  the  oxen  with  my  coffin  stuck  on  the  bridge,  or 
broken  down  with  it  in  the  bottom  of  the  gorge,  I  felt  in- 
clined to  acquiesce  in  anything.  "That  is  very  true.  I 
often  felt  the  force  of  that  remark." 

"  Do  not  be  too  hasty,"  said  Oliver,  "  let  Mr.  Smalls 
exjDlain  that  passage.     It  is  a  confessedly  difficult  one." 
"  Does  it  need  explanation  ?  "  1  asked,  surprised. 
"Of  course  it  does.     No  layman  could  be  expected  to 
fully  understand  it  in  all  its  bearings  without  that  kind  of 
instruction  which  a  priest  is  alone  fitted  to  give." 

"  Please  explain  it,"  said  I,  humbly,  "  I  had  an  idea 
that  I  understood  the  meaning." 

"  You  could  hardly  be  expected  to,"  said  Oliver. 
"  Some  of  our  most  esteemed  integers  have  utterly  failed 
to  interpret  it  aright." 

"  Please  interpret  it  for  me,"  said  I. 
"  Your  humility  does  you  credit,"  said  Mr.  Smalls.     "  I 
shall  do  so  with  great  pleasure." 

He  then  proceeded  with  a  long  homily,  which  I  think 
best  on  the  whole  to  omit.  The  substance  of  the  inter- 
pretation can  be  found  in  any  well  regulated  theological 
library  in  any  civilized  country  in  the  world,  and  is,  I  think, 
take  it  all  in  all,  one  of  the  most  dispiriting  and  withal 
ridiculous  spectacles  that  this  earth  presents.     "So  you* 


33<3  IN(^)U1KKND0    ISLAND, 

see,"  said  Mr.  Smalls,  in  conclusion,  "  that  the  passage  has 
a  very  different  signification  from  that  which  it  appears  to 
bear  upon  the  surface." 

As  the  object  of  his  conversation  had  been  to  demon- 
strate that  two  and  two  could  make  almost  any  other 
number  than  four  by  making  a  certain  proper  appeal  to 
Mathematics  I  was  fully  persuaded  that  the  views  which 
I  had  always  held  in  respect  to  the  limitations  of  the 
Arithmetic  were  in  the  eyes  of  Mr.  Smalls  and  Oliver 
erroneous. 

"  Your  explanation  is  probably  satisfactory,"  said  I,  a 
little  evasively. 

"  Is  it  not  perfectly  so  ?  "  said  Oliver. 

"  I  confess  not  altogether." 

"  You  must  remember  that  all  these  things  must  be 
taken  with  faith,"  said  Mr.  Smalls. 

I  admitted  that  this  was  unquestionably  so — if  at  all. 

"  But  did  you  ever  know  of  an  instance  where  two  and 
two  made  anything  else  but  four  ?  "  I  asked. 

"Unquestionably,"  said  Oliver,  promptly. 

"Many,"  said  Mr.  Smalls. 

"  Please  give  me  the  particulars  of  one." 

"There  is  one  special  case  that  I  have  in  my  mind 
now,"  said  Mr.  Smalls,  musingly.  "You  remember,  Oliver, 
the  Widow  Meeks  and  her  cruse  of  whiskey  ?  " 

"I  do,"  responded  Oliver,  "distinctly." 

"  Tell  me  about  that,"  said  I. 

"There  is  not  nnich  to  tell.  It  is  only  a  simple  story; 
but  it  illustrates  the  power  of  expression.  Mrs.  Meeks' 
husband  had  died  and  left  her  with  nothing  but  the  busi- 
ness to  rely  upon  as  a  means  of  support — a  little  retail 
whiskey  shop  in  the  second  ward  of  the  capital.  I  had 
occasion  soon  after  the  funeral  to  call.     Mr.  Meeks  had 


SOME   DETAILS    IN    RESPECT   TO    MY   COFFIN.  33 1 

not  been  a  kind  husband.  It  was  beautiful  to  see  how  re- 
signed the  widow  was.  She  took  me  down  in  the  cellar 
and  pointed  with  pride  to  a  cruse  in  one  corner.  A  cruse, 
as  is  well  known,  contains  exactly  four  quarts.  The  widow 
told  me  how  she  was  situated,  and  how  hard  she  had 
found  it  to  make  a  livelihood,  especially  with  Patsey  Fin- 
negan  on  the  corner  underselling  her,  so  in  her  trouble 
the  widow  besought  Mathematics  that  her  cruse  might 
thereafter  contain  five  quarts  instead  of  four,  and,"  con- 
tinued Mr.  Smalls,  in  a  voice  choked  with  emotion,  "  her 
supplication  was  answered.     It  was  done." 

"  How  do  you  know  that?  "  said  I. 

"  How  do  I  know  it  !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Smalls,  "  She 
told  me." 

"  And  in  addition  to  the  testimony  of  the  widow  her- 
self," added  Oliver,  eagerly,  "  there  was  the  undoubted 
evidence  of  the  well  known  fact  that  the  poor  widow 
was  thereafter  enabled  to  sell  her  whiskey  so  low  as  to 
compete  successfully  with  Finnegan,  who  was  obliged  to 
withdraw  wholly  from  business  in  consequence." 

"  Yes,"  said  Mr.  Smalls,  "  not  only  that,  but  Finnegan 
himself  had  finally  to  admit  that  he  was  vanquished  by  no 
power  of  the  island,  and  the  widow  to  this  day  ascribes 
all  credit  to  the  raft  and  the  water  of  the  written  solution." 

I  could  not  forbear  making  the  suggestion  that  perhaps 
water  at  least  had  something  to  do  with  it. 

"You  may  depend  upon  it,  Mr.  Cliff,"  said  Mr.  Smalls, 
earnestly,  "that  it  did,  and  that  this  is  only  one  of  many — 
I  may  say  innumerable  instances." 

"  You  regard  that  as  a  direct  intervention  of  Mathe- 
matics ? " 

"Certainly  I  do." 

"  But  whv  should  Mathematics  interfere  ?" 


332  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  What  are  we,  worms  as  we  are,  to  question,  or  to  pry 
into  these  things  ?  " 

"  Worm  as  I  am,"  I  replied,  "  it  does  appear  to  me  a 
little  peculiar  that  Mathematics  should  interpose.  Be- 
sides, wasn't  it  a  little  rough  on  Patsey  Finnegan  ?  ' 

"  Not  only  have  I  known  of  two  and  two  making  five," 
continued  Mr.  Smalls,  ignoring  my  last  remark,  "  but  I 
have  even  had  instances  come  under  the  sphere  of  my  ob- 
servation where  it  made  six  or  seven ;  but  such,  I  admit, 
are  rare." 

It  was  with  such  cheerful  conversation  as  this  that  Mr. 
Smalls  and  Oliver  endeavored  to  beguile  my  thoughts 
from  a  consideration  of  the  dreadful  doom  that  lay  before 
me,  and  to  lift  them  to  the  blessed  hopes  of  the  Arithme- 
tic. If  it  had  not  been  for  the  trifling  uneasiness  which  I 
still  felt  it  is  probable  that  I  should  even  have  been 
amused  ;  but  until  we  arrived  at  the  grave,  there  was  still 
the  uncertainty  respecting  my  cofifir., 

Oliver  noticed  that  I  was  preoccupied,  and  feeling  it  to 
be  his  duty  to  do  so,  gently  took  me  to  task  for  what  he 
said  he  could  not  but  regard  as  vanity,  and  a  clinging  to 
the  things  of  the  island. 

"  Indeed,  Oliver,"  said  I,  *'  you  misjudge  nie.  It  is  not 
vanity.    I  assure  you  I  do  not  cling  to  the  island." 

"Ah,  I  am  glad  to  hear  you  say  that,"  said  Mr.  Smalls, 
"  truly  glad." 

"Yes,  John,"  added  Oliver,  affectionately,  "  we  ought  all 
to  be  resigned.  How  little  it  matters  of  M'hat  shape  our 
coffin  shall  be,  provided  we  are  prepared  for  the  last 
plunge." 

"  I  wish  to  be  prepared,"  I  murmured,  "  and  I  do  think 
I  am." 

At  this  instant  the  oxen,  turuing  a  sharp  corner,  brouglit 


SOME    DETAILS    IN    RESPECT   TO    MY   COFFIN.  ;^;^^ 

US  in  plain  siglu  of  the  place  of  execution,  and  there  to  my 
unbounded  joy,  just  unloaded  in  front  of  the  grave  stood 
my  coffin.     Mr.  Crafts  came  directly  up  to  us  ' 

''Well  Robert"  said  I,  "so  you  got  the  coffin  over 
safely,  did  you  >  " 

Crafts'  face  became  very  sober 

"We  did.  Muster  CliiT,"  he  replied;  "but  if  't'ud  a 
weighed  the  heft  of  a  bounce  more!  we'd  not  'ave  n^e 
hout  to  ave  done  hit.  Some  willain  'ad  been  hand  hun- 
did  part  hof  the  hunderpinin'." 

fu.til°eh"'  'T'  "''  '"^  ''  '  ^^'^^^"^^  '  ^-^'  Gallwood 
u.t.vely  regarding  me.     He  hung  down  his  head,  but  I 

knew  that  he  had  been  foiled  again.     From  that  mom  n 
until  the  last  we  both  dissembled. 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 

"  INTO   THE   WORLD   AT   LIBERTY   AGAIN." 

T  T  will  be  remembered  that  I  was  left  some  few  chapters 
^  back  in  a  state  of  considerable  suspense.  I  had  suc- 
ceeded, after  much  tribidation,  in  getting  my  way  about  my 
coffin,  and,  snugly  ensconced  within  it,  had  been  pushed 
down  the  sloping  sea-way.  As  I  felt  myself  moving  the 
light  was  suddenly  blotted  out,  and  all  was  darkness, 
while  a  great  cry  arose  from  the  multitude.  Little  time 
had  I  to  moralize  or  to  speculate  ;  with  a  whir  and  bang 
the  coffin  shot  down,  jolting  uneasily  from  side  to  side, 
but  still,  I  was  glad  to  see,  maintaining  an  upright  posi- 
tion. Suddenly  there  was  an  upheaval  of  the  front ;  my 
feet,  which  had  been  pointed  downward  at  such  an  angle 
that  I  was  obliged  to  cling  to  the  iron  partition  for  sup- 
port, now  in  a  moment  assumed  a  horizontal  position,  and 
at  the  same  time  I  heard  a  splashing  swash  as  my  strange 
craft  plunged  into  the  waves.  I  reflected  no  longer  ;  the 
time  for  action  had  come.  With  quick,  impatient  hands  I 
felt  in  the  obscurity  for  the  slots  constructed  for  this  par- 
ticular emergency,  and  grasping  the  bolts  shot  them  back. 
It  needed  but  a  slight  effort  to  rise  upon  my  knees  and 
throw  back  the  lids  which  it  had  been  anticipated  Num- 
bers alone  would  raise.  The  sea  was  shining  with  great 
brilliancy  ;  but  the  eye  of  true  love  blazes  brighter  than 
the  sun.  Against  the  sides  of  the  strange  craft  rippled  and 
washed  the  waves  of  the  quiet  ocean,   and  on  the  deck. 


"  INTO   THE   WORLD   AT    LIDERTV   AGAIN.  335 

with  her  eyes  lifted  to  the  sky,  and  her  beautiful  white 
liands  fervently  clasped,  knelt  Margery,  She  had  fulfilled 
her  promise  to  go  with  me  on  my  coffin  into  the  sea.  Her 
long  flowing  robe — the  mourning  robe  that  she  had  put  on 
for  me — had  slipped  from  her  shoulders  and  lay  all  about 
her.  Her  dress,  the  loose  flowing  dress,  cut  in  the  Inqui- 
rendian  fashion  low  about  her  neck,  was  also  of  the  pur- 
est white.  How  like  a  sweet,  fair  angel  she  was.  1  went 
to  her,  unmindful  of  all  else,  and  put  my  arms  around 
her. 

"  Darling,"  I  said,  "  we  are  safe  at  last." 

"  Safe,"  she  repeated,  her  eyes  still  lifted,  "  safe ;  oh, 
is  this  indeed  death  }  " 

"  No,  it  is  not  death,  Margery,"  I  answered,  "  it  is  life. 
Come,  darling,  look  at  me.  See,  I  am  no  spirit.  It  is  I, 
your  own  John.     Do  you  believe  me  now,  my  own  ?  " 

Slowly  Margery's  eyes  turned  earthward  ;  and  as  they 
did  so,  lost  that  fixed  and  agonized  expression.  She 
turned  towards  me,  sighed  deeply,  and  at  last  she  found 
her  voice. 

"  How  did  It  all  happen,  John  ?  Is  it  indeed  true  that 
the  dead  can  live  ?  " 

"  It  is  true  that  we  are  living,  INIargery.  Look  yonder. 
There  is  the  island.  There  are  your  father  and  mother 
now  watching  you.  Here  around  us  is  the  sea,  the  sea 
that  you  so  dreaded." 

I  leaned  over  the  side  of  the  boat,  now  lazily  rocking 
on  the  smooth,  swelling  surface  of  the  placid  deep.  I 
dipped  my  hands  in  the  warm  waters. 

"  See,  Margery,"  I  said,  "  it  does  not  hurt  me,  it  cannot 
harm  you.  Come,  darling,  touch  the  waters,  and  see  how 
harmless  they  are." 

Margery  heard  me.     She  lifted  her  eyes  to  mine,  and 


336  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

then,  for  a  brief  instant,  upward  to  where,  overcome  with 
amazement  and  horror,  her  father  and  mother  stood  in 
the  midst  of  a  silent,  terrified  throng.  She  was  still  upon 
her  knees  on  the  deck,  but  her  clasped  hands  had  fallen 
apart,  and  hung  nerveless  by  her  side.  The  rich,  rosy 
bloom  of  her  cheeks  had  departed,  and  in  its  place  was  a 
deathly  pallor.  Her  beautiful  long  brown  hair,  escaped 
from  the  careful  coil  around  her  shapely  head,  fell  in 
twining  folds  about  her.  Her  eyes  moved  from  the  shore 
to  the  sea,  and  then  met  mine,  with  one  wild,  questioning 
look.  Her  lips,  ashy  pale,  parted,  but  ere  she  could 
syllable  a  word  she  fell  forward  into  my  arms  overcome, 
in  all  the  semblance  of  the  death  that  she  had  sought  with 
me,  the  one  she  loved. 

But  not  dead ;  no,  thank  God,  not  dead.  I  had  been 
fortunate  enough  in  the  midst  of  my  terrible  anxieties  to 
think  of  all  our  necessities;  so,  hid  away — the  further 
whim  of  a  poor  lunatic — under  the  thwarts,  by  the  tender 
care  of  Oliver,  was  a  sufficient  store  of  all  needful  thingc; 
for  the  voyage  homeward,  and  there  was  also  water,  fresh, 
limpid  water,  from  a  cold  spring  not  a  hundred  yards 
from  the  shore.  I  laid  my  Margery  tenderly  upon  the 
soft  cushions  of  the  thwart  in  the  afterpart  of  the  boat.  I 
bathed  her  brow  and  lips,  and  not  till  there  were  signs  of 
returning  life  did  I  leave  her.  But  the  lips  grew  ruddy, 
and  a  faint  hue  of  pink  tinged  her  sweet  cheeks  once  more. 
My  anxiety  was  over.  I  rose  to  my  feet.  The  boat,  riding 
like  a  gull  on  even  keel,  swayed  to  and  fro,  rocked  by  the 
long,  peaceful  waves.  The  gentle  tide  set  in  towards  the 
shore,  on  whose  marge,  a  hundred  yards  away,  the  little 
breakers  rolled  over  like  truant  children  clapping  their 
playful  hands.  We  had  drifted  in,  and  now  the  great  iron 
plane,  inclined  at  a   sharp  angle,  dipped  into  the  water 


"into  the  world  at  liberty  again."  337 

almost  beside  us.  I  looked  up;  the  crest  of  the  bluff, 
i\ir  a  longdistance  on  cither  side  of  those  awful  iron  doors, 
was  lined  by  an  awe-stricken  and  astonished  multitude, 
ikit  the  current  (doubtless  an  offset  of  the  Gulf-stream) 
was  drifting  us  slowly  in.  I  could  not,  of  course,  be  as- 
sured what  treatment  would  be  vouchsafed  to  ghosts  in 
Iiuiuirendo,  so  I  prudently  made  haste  to  place  my  craft, 
and  myself,  and  Margery  beyond  the  reach  of  all  possible 
peril.  I  brought  out  the  longer  of  the  three  poles  of  which 
mention  has  been  made,  and  jerking  out  the  useless  plug 
that  Oliver  from  religious  scruples  had  caused  to  be  in- 
serted, threw  it  into  the  sea.  I  quickly  fastened  the 
white  mourning  robe,  and  stepping  my  mast  had,  in  a  trice, 
a  most  serviceable  sail  of  the  leg-o'-mutton  pattern.  I 
found  the  tiller  (one  of  the  mysterious  things  that  had 
been  wrought  at  the  Fabrican),  and  inserting  it  into  the 
slot  in  the  rudder,  I  was  once  more  a  yachtsman.  A 
gentle  breeze  was  rising,  just  enough  to  fill  the  sail.  I  sat 
down,  holding  the  helm.  Margery's  supple  form  lay  be- 
side me.  One  arm  was  about  her  tenderly.  With  the  other 
I  brought  the  breeze  abeam  and  drew  away  from  the 
island. 

I  was  delighted  to  observe  how  beautifully  my  boat 
sailed.  The  centre-board  worked  to  a  charm,  and  finding 
how  easily  she  obeyed  the  helm  I  tacked  about. 

Along  the  brow  of  the  bluff  still  stood,  apparently  stu- 
pefied, the  assembled  islanders.  No  difficulty  had  I  in 
singling  out  the  many  familiar  faces.  There  was  the  be- 
nign, placid  Mr.  Mayland  and  his  gentle  wife,  towards 
whom  my  heart  went  out,  and  there  also  were  Mr.  Smalls 
and  Oliver,  looking  down  upon  us  with  expressions  of  the 
utmost  horror.     Speechless  and  awe-stricken,  the  self-sat- 

22 


338  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

isfied  smirks  frozen  upon  their  vicious  faces,  stood  peer- 
ing over  the  crag  my  enemies,  Gallwood  and  Nudwink. 

I  sailed  now  close  in  shore.  The  water  was  deep  at 
this  point  and  the  bluff  was  low.  I  rose  to  my  feet  as 
the  boat  sailed  slowly  past,  and  bowing  my  head  to  the 
multitude,  called  in  a  loud  voice  :  "  Gallwood !  " 

No  answer  came  from  the  discomfited  and  wretched 
man  ;  but  I  heard  a  sound  like  the  sighing  of  the  wind 
through  a  forest.  It  was  the  aw^e-stricken  people  groaning 
in  terror. 

"  Gallwood,"  I  repeated  solemnly,  "  Gallwood,  answer 
me. 

Then  came  a  response,  not  indeed  from  Gallwood, 
whose  fear  forbade  speech,  whose  cadaverous  lower  jaw 
hung  on  his  breast,  and  whose  eyes  protruded  in  the  ex- 
tremity of  horror. 

There  was  a  deep  silence,  and  in  the  midst  of  it,  as  I 
brought  the  boat's  head  to  the  wind,  and  held  her  there 
motionless,  a  voice  rose  sharp  and  clear  : 

"  Howly  Noombers,  the  ghost  spakes." 

So  saying,  my  early  acquaintance,  Mike  Tierney,  took 
one  step  forward,  lifting  both  hands,  palms  upward,  over 
his  head,  and  as  he  did  so,  another  groan  burst  from  all 
around  him. 

It  ought  to  be  distinctly  understood  that  I  do  not  in  the 
least  blame  the  populace,  and  especially  Mike,  for  totally 
misapprehending  my  position.  Any  reader  of  this  account 
who  may  be  inclined  to  do  so,  and  who  may  imagine  that 
under  similar  circumstances  he  would  be  wiser,  has  only 
to  put  himself  in  the  place  of  an  Inquirendian.  This 
writing  is  not  perhaps  intended  for  a  class  of  readers  who 
are  in  the  habit  of  attending  public  executions  ;  but  we 
all  do  occasionally  peruse  accounts  more  or  less  accurate 


"into    the    world    at    LIliERTV    AGAIN."-  339 

of  such,  and,  as  the  imagination  is  not  often  particular,  it 
may  be  suggested  that  if  a  staid,  respectable  citizen  (let  us 
say  of  Newark,  N.  J.,  or  Poughkeepsie,  N.  Y.)  happened, 
in  the  strict  line  of  his  duty,  to  be  present  at  the  un- 
timely taking  off  of  a  criminal,  who  acted  as  I  had,  doubt- 
less he  would  have  felt  as  Mike  did. 

Imagine  the  culprit,  the  instant  after  the  hangman  had 
cut  the  rope,  make  a  sudden  ascending  venture,  apparently 
on  nothing,  or  on  a  toy  balloon,  and  go  floating  around 
overhead  just  within  earshot. 

It  behooves  us  all  to  be  on  our  guard  constantly  against 
censorious  criticism.  Doubtless  such  a  circumstance 
would  strike  any  citizen,  staid  or  otherwise,  as  a  little  pe- 
culiar. 

At  any  rate,  that  was  the  way  it  struck  Mike,  and 
caused  him  to  say  what  he  did. 

However,  it  was  not  with  Mike  that  I  desired  to  con- 
verse. I  hailed  Galhvood  again.  He  made  no  reply,  but 
his  jaw  dropped  lower  still  and  his  eyes  bulged  out  with 
fright. 

I  was  conscientious  in  all  that  I  did.  I  pressed  my  ad- 
vantage mercilessly. 

"  Galhvood,  "  I  said,  "  step  forward." 

No  answer  but  a  low  groan. 

"  And  you  too,  Nudwink." 

Seeing  that  neither  was  disposed  to  move  I  continued, 
somewhat  sharply.  "  Come,  step  to  the  edge  of  the  bluff; 
I  have  a  word  to  say  to  you." 

Their  knees  trembled,  and  it  was  evident  that  they  were 
both  utterly  overcome  with  fear.  Some  further  incentive 
to  action  was  necessary,  so  I  added,  in  my  most  persuasive 
tone,  *'  Obey  me,  or  I  shall  be  compelled  to  come  ashore 
after  you." 


340  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

Nudwink  shivered  all  over,  clutched  his  companion  by 
the  arm,  and  by  one  impulse  they  made  a  staggering  step 
forward. 

"  Do  you  hear  me  .''  "  I  asked,  not  over  gently,  as  they 
stood  on  the  verge  of  the  steep  slope,  gazing  open-eyed 
down  upon  me. 

Nudwink's  mouth  opened,  but  while  his  teeth  chattered 
no  articulate  sound  could  he  utter.  "  Ye — ye — yes," 
stammerSd  Gallwood,  incoherently. 

"  Have  your  views  been  modified  lately,"  I  asked, 
"  upon  the  general  subject  of  advantages  ? " 

"  Ye — ye — yes." 

"  Materially  modified  ?" 

Again  he  stammered  a  pitiful  assent.  He  appeared  to 
be  painfully  embarrassed,  and  not  in  the  least  blaming 
him  I  forbore  to  add  to  his  annoyance.  Yet  I  was  not  of 
a  mind  to  depart  until  I  had  expressed  my  views  of  the 
dastardly  conduct  of  both  these  men. 

"  Behold,"  I  said,  "  the  untoward  result  of  your  plotting 
villany.  I  am  free  forever  from  all  your  control,  and  to- 
day I  bear  with  me  to  my  own  home,  in  that  better  land  of 
which  I  told  you,  all  that  I  hold  dearest  and  best,  and  of 
which  you  strove  to  rob  me. 

"  I  know  not  which  of  you  is  the  greater  and  more  infa- 
mous wretch.  I  weigh  not  the  delicate  balance  between 
wilful  service  of  the  powers  of  evil,  and  hypocrisy.  This 
I  say,  that  you  are  both  evil  men.  You,  Gallwood,  have 
thought  hitherto  that  this  ocean,  that  has  to  me  no  terrors, 
ends  all,  and  that  there  was  to  be  no  reckoning  for  you 
for  all  your  misdeeds.  You,  Nudwink,  have  crammed 
yourself  full  of  idolatries,  and  thought  to  hide  your 
soul's   wickedness    under    a   garb   of    specious   pretence. 


"INTO    THE    WORLD    AT    LIIIERTY    AGAIN.  341 

You  are  both  guilty  of  my  blood,  though  by  a  power  c 
which  you  are  ignorant  1  have  found  life. 

"  And  now,  farewell." 

I  raised  my  voice. 

"Farewell,  Oliver.  Farewell,  Mr.  Smalls.  Tell  Mar- 
gery's father  and  mother  that  she  is  safe  with  me.  She 
loved  me  well  enough  to  die  for  me,  and  hereafter  will  love 
me  enough  to  live  with  me.  Some  day  I  hope  that  we 
shall  all  meet  again.     Farewell." 

I  turned  the  boat's  head  to  the  west.  The  favorable 
breeze  freshened,  the  sail  filled,  and  leaving  the  populace 
still  overcome  with  mute  horror,  we  skimmed  away,  till,  as 
the  sun  went  down  in  the  flaming  west,  the  island  lay  far 
off,  a  tiny,  green  speck,  hardly  distinguishable  from  the 
waves  of  the  surrounding  sea. 

It  was  noon  of  a  Sabbath  day.  Margery  was  now  thor- 
oughly recovered,  and  wilhal  remarkably  well  content  with 
my  society.  We  had  passed  through  the  inlet  and  landed 
at  the  dock.  A  few  loafers  stared  at  us  with  much  impu- 
dence, and  all  the  indigenous  inhabitants  of  Far  Rock- 
away  seemed  to  be  curious  about  us.  I  walked  up  towards 
the  village  with  Margery  on  my  arm  ;  she,  poor  girl,  some- 
what surprised  at  all  she  saw.  On  the  way  to  my  father's 
summer  cottage  I  passed  the  little  church.  The  sexton 
was  a  man  I  knew.  His  name  was  Higgins.  He  stood 
at  his  ease  outside.  Even  in  that  moment  I  could  not  help 
remembering  how  I  had  always  envied  him  the  privilege  of 
attending  church,  and  the  further  advantage  of  being  able 
to  take  a  run  outside  when  things  grew  hot  within. 

I  went  directly  up  to  him.  *'  How  are  you,  Higgins  ?  " 
said  I,  extending  my  hand.  He  did  not  know  me.  My 
beard  had  grown  sufficiently  to  be  a  complete  disguise.     He 


342  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

shook  my  hand,  though,  very  politely.  "  Won't  you  walk 
in  .''  "  said  he. 

I  hesitated.     "  Any  special  service  .-*  "  I  asked. 

"  Yes,  yes,"  Higgins  responded,  promptly  ;  "  memorial 
services  for  Mr.  William  Cliff's  son;  wild  lad  —  well- 
meaning,  but  wild." 


>.,,. 


POSTFACE. 

A    LETTER    FROM    MY    MOTHER. 

"New  York,  Septejnber  20,  1885. 
"  My  Dear  Boy  : 

"  Your  account  of  adYcntures  in  the  island  has  been 
read  by  me  with  great  interest.  Having  heard  from 
you  much  that  you  have  related,  of  course  there  was  little 
novelty  in  the  story.  But,  my  son,  do  you  think  it  wise 
to  enter  as  minutely  as  you  have  done  into  the  de- 
tails of  the  peculiar  ceremonials  that  you  describe  .-'  If 
I  did  not  feel  thoroughly  assured  of  your  own  state  of 
heart  I  should  have  serious  apprehensions  on  your  own 
account.  But  my  fear  now  is,  that  the  effect  upon  the 
world  of  your  narrative  may  be  pernicious.  The  world 
will  not  know  what  it  means,  and,  in  order  that  it  may  be 
understood,  I  advise  you  to  speak  plainer.  Do  not,  I  beg 
of  you,  by  word  or  pen,  say  anything  which  might  obscure 
the  truth  in  any  mind,  whether  cultivated  or  the  reverse. 
Remember  who  it  was  that  said,  '  He  that  is  not  with  me 
is  against  me.'  I  am  fully  aware  that  the  moral  of  all 
that  you  have  written  is  against  the  outward  display  of 
religion,  and  against  its  superstitions  ;  but,  if  weak  minds 
read  it,  and  translate  it  as  opposed  to  truth,  its  delicate 
bits  of  writing,  and  the  tenderness  and  pathos  of  some  of 
the  scenes  which  \ou  have  depicted,  will  only  add  to  the 
force  of  its  supposed  arguments. 

"  The  beauty  of  Christianity  lies  in  this,  that  the  way- 
faring man,  though  a  fool,  need  not  err  therein. 

343 


344  INQUIRENDO    ISLAND. 

"  When  religion  is  the  theme,  its  handling  should  be 
well  guarded,  as  you  would  handle  the  name  of  a  mother, 
a  sister,  or  a  wife.  If  you  were  to  write  what  appeared  to 
be  a  satire  on  them,  surely  it  would  be  a  reproach  to  you. 
How  much  more  then  should  you  be  on  your  guard  against 
bringing  discredit  upon  revealed  religion.  As  St.  Paul 
says,  '  All  things  are  lawful  unto  me,  but  all  things  are  not 
expedient.'  Would  it  not  be  well  to  refrain  from  the  ex- 
actness of  description,  which  will,  I  fear,  be  misinterpreted 
by  mankind.  It  will  not  be  credited  that  you  are  striving 
to  uphold  the  cause  of  Christ.  The  religious  press  in  par- 
ticular will,  I  fear,  regard  what  you  have  written  as  ir- 
religious, not  to  say  sacrilegious.  Such  a  result  would,  1 
am  sure,  be  felt  by  you  to  be  unfortunate.  *  If  meat 
make  my  brother  to  offend,  I  will  eat  no  flesh  while  the 
world  standeth.' 

"  Think  over  what  I  have  said,  my  dear  son,  and  soften 
down  much  of  what  you  have  written.  This  is  a  time  in 
the  world's  history  when  our  trumpet  should  give  no  un- 
certain sound,  and  I  know  that  you  would  regret  being 
the  cause  of  any  one's  falling  away  from  the  faith,  and 
that  this  might  be  the  tendency  of  some  that  you  have 
written  I  have  good  reason  to  believe. 

"  Your  Attached  Mother." 

MY   REPLY. 

«'  New  Windsor,  Sept.  30,  1885. 
"  Dear  Mother  : 

"  Your  letter,  in  respect  to  '  Inquirendo,'  was  received 
several  days  ago.  I  have  not  replied  sooner,  as  I  desired 
to  think  over  the  whole  matter,  that  I  might  explain,  in 
as  few  words  as  possible,  my  reasons  for  the  minuteness 


POSTFACE.  345 

which  you  regard  as  likely  to  be  detrimental  to  the  faith 
of  the  world. 

"What  I  have  written  is  certainly  eccentric  ;  but  in  the 
nomenclature  of  the  islanders  alone  is  the  eccentricity. 
Humanity,  isolated,  reaches  out  in  vain  and  futile  long- 
ings to  know  as  itself  is  known.  In  their  unknown  God, 
whom  they  called  Mathematics,  the  Inquirendians  strove 
to  deify  the  sum  of  all  truth,  the  body  of  all  power. 
They  brought  a  cold  and  formal  abstraction  home  to  their 
hearts  by  personifying  this  everlasting  principle  in  Num- 
bers, in  whom  resided  the  tangible  manifestation  of  the  in- 
finite unknown. 

"Thinking  the  surrounding  seas  unnavigable  they  did 
not  understand  the  story  of  the  raft.  They  apprehended 
only  in  part  that  virtue  of  which  I  knew. 

"  With  us,  as  with  the  people  of  Inquirendo,  philosophy 
alone  is  vain  and  foolish.  Intellect  is  as  ignorant  of  the 
meaning  of  things  as  the  Inquirendians  were. 

"  Christianity  presents  itself  to  man  in  two  aspects:  in- 
tellectually we  are  concerned  with  it  as  a  matter  of  his- 
tory, and  in  the  means  whereby  its  underlying  and  per- 
vading principles,  embodied  in  doctrine,  are  made  known 
to  the  mind.  Spiritually,  man  is  concerned  only  with  the 
result  of  its  force  upon  his  heart  and  life. 

"We  are  all  practically  agreed  as  to  premises,  the  dif- 
ference lies  in  our  conclusions,  as  to  the  formulce  in  which 
abstract  truth  ought  to  be  presented  in  concrete  shape. 

"  Science  habitually  employs  diagrams,  definitions,  the- 
orems, comparisons,  and  symbols.  The  substance  of  re- 
ligion is  inherent  in  the  heart  of  humanity.  Its  principles 
are  eternal.  Ultimate  truth  is  as  inexplicable  as  an  axiom, 
and  as  certain  ;  but  more  absurdities  are  uttered  in  the 
name  of  truth,  than  crimes  committed  in  that  of  liberlv. 


34^  INCjL'll^^l^M'U    ISLAND. 

All  philosophical  writing  is  but  a  record  of  varying 
phases  of  opinion.  As  the  white  light  of  the  sun  is  dis' 
torted  in  a  lens,  or  polarized  by  a  refracting  medium,  so, 
by  strata  of  opinion,  the  grand  truths  of  God  are  refracted, 
bent,  warped,  distorted. 

"  Belief  is  an  amazing  word  ;  but  the  spurious  kind,  con- 
cerning itself  with  oils  and  the  guesswork  of  opinion,  is 
utterly  worthless. 

"  True  religion  is  not  a  mere  assent  to  doctrine — a  chilly, 
formal  politeness  to  the  Almighty.  It  is  not  the  wire  over 
which  the  message  of  hope  comes  from  God  to  man,  it 
is  the  message  itself.  It  makes  the  filial  relations  sure 
between  man  and  his  Maker.  If  this  relation  comes  by 
form  and  ceremony,  or  if  it  comes  without  it ;  if  doctrine 
brings  it,  or  if  philosophy  brings  it,  or  idolatry,  or  even 
infidelity,  it  matters  not.  Now  I  myself,  dear  mother, 
have  never  seen  a  man  of  whom  I  thought  it  could  be  said 
his  philosophy  was  sufficient  for  him,  or  his  idolatry,  or 
his  infidelity ;  neither  have  I  seen  one  whose  ceremonial 
of  itself  was  sufficient.  But  this  has  nothing  to  do  with  the 
plain  statement  of  the  fact,  that  if  the  filial  relation  is  es- 
tablished that  is  the  substance  of  all  religion. 

"Mr.  Smalls  (in  the  story)  would  have  saved  his  life  by 
faith  if  he  had  possessed  the  faith,  and  by  that  alone.  I 
saved  my  life  by  my  works,  and  showed  my  faith  thereby. 

"You  caution  me,  dear  mother,  against  injuring  the  faith 
of  the  world.  I  am  at  bitter  enmity  with  its  superstitions, 
its  bigotry,  its  intolerance.  I  am  sure,  that  in  what  I  have 
written  I  have  upheld  its  faith,  by  showing  the  nature  of 
the  real  thing.  It  is  unfortunately  at  the  present  day  the 
wayfaring  man  who  is  not  a  fool  who  is  most  apt  to  err. 
If   there  _were    no   hypocrites  within  the  churches    there 


pusri'ACE.  347 

would  be  no  infidels  wiihoui.     To   intellect  alone   the  or- 
dinary spurious  faith  is  mere  cant  and  sham. 

"  I  have  attempted  no  demonstration  of  other  matters  on 
which  my  narrative  touches  ;  these  must  be  left  to  some 
future  occasion  ;  but  I  may  say  to  you,  that  I  believe  the 
existence  of  God  to  be  as  certain  as  that  the  principles 
of  Mathematics  exist ;  man's  immortality  as  assured  as 
that  the  sea  is  capable  of  being  navigated,  and  the  Bible 
as  certainly  contains  the  truth  as  the  Arithmetic. 

"  One  fact  only  has  been  demonstrated  :  the  existence 
and  the  reality  of  faith.  'I'o  believe,  and  not  to  pretend, 
is  the  moral  of  all  that  1  have  written,  and  to  show  that 
underlying  all  form,  and  all  ceremony,  and  all  history  is 
something  vital  and  eternal,  and  that  in  the  divine  story 
of  Christianity  (of  which  my  narrative  may  be  considered 
in  some  degree  an  allegory)  is  to  be  found  the  truth 
brought  home  to  the  heart  by  means  and  by  a  symbol 
worthy  of  a  God. 

"  With  much  love, 

'*  Your  Attached   Son." 


Twentieth  Century  Publishing  Co. 


PARTIAL     LIST    OK 


Rationalistic   Works. 


Abbot,  Francis  Ellingwood.  The  Way  Out  of  Affnosticism,  or  the  Philosophy 
of  Free  Religion.  Claims  to  lay  the  basis  ofa  truly  scientific  philosophy 
of  religion.     Every  Agnostic  and  Atheist  should  read  this  work.    Cloth,  f  i. 

Alberger,  J.  Monks,  Popes,  and  their  Political  Intrigues.  376  pages;  $1. 
Soiled  copies,  sec.  and  75c. 

Allen,  Col.  Ethan.  Reason,  the  Only  Oracle  of  Man  ;  or,  A  Compendious 
Svstemof  Natural  Religion.    Cloth,  50  cents. 

Apichryphal  New  Testament.  Being  all  the  Gospels,  Epistles,  and  other 
pieces  now  extant,  attributed  in  the  first  four  centuries  to  Jesus  Christ, 
his  Aposthes,  and  their  companions,  and  not  included  in  the  New  Testa- 
ment by  its  compilers.     Cloth,  $1. 

Bacon,  Francis.     Christian  Paradoxes.     10  cents 

Baring-Gould:    Curious  Myths  of  the  Middle  Ages.    Cloth,  40c. 
Legends  of  the  Patriarchs  and  Prophets.    Cloth,  $1.50. 

Bible  for  Learners.  By  Dr.  H.  Oort,  Dr.  L  Hooykaas,  and  Dr.  A.  Kuenen.  3 
volumes.     Cloth,  .$6. 

Bradlaugh,  Charles.  A  Few  Words  About  the  Devil  (with  portrait  of  Brad- 
laugh  and  autobiography).    Cloth,  $1  25. 

D' Hoi  bach,  Baron.    The  System  of  Nature,  or,  the  Laws  of  the  Moral  and 
Physical  World.    Two  volumes  in  one  :  cloth,  $2. 
The  ivetter?  to  Eugenia  ;  or,  A  Preservation  Against  Religious  Prejudice.   $1. 
Good  Sense.    $1. 

Doane,  T.  W.  Bible  Myths  and  their  Parallels  in  Other  Religions.  Numer- 
ous illus'-rations;  large  octavo,  6co  pages,  $2  50. 

Chadwick,  John  W. :  Bible  of  Today.  This  is  a  condensed  result  of  the  scien- 
tific criticisms  of  the  separate  books  of  the  Bible.    Cloth.  $1.50. 

Christian  and  Deist,  and  the  Prophets.  Being  a  business  man's  views  upon 
religious  and  social  matters.    206  pages  ;  cloth,  40c. 

Christianity  and  Agnosticism.  A  controversy.  Consisting  of  papers  contribu- 
ted to  "The  Nineteenth  Century"  bv  Henry  Wace,  D.  D.,  Prof.  Thos.  H. 
Huxley,  the  Bishop  of  Peterborough,  W.  H.  Mallock,  Mrs.  Humphry  Ward, 
^oc. 

Clifford,  W.  K.:  Supernatural  Religion  :  An  Inquiry  into  the  Reality  of  Divine 
Revelation.one  of  the  most  thorough  and  exhaustive  work  on  the  claims 
of  supernaturalism  ever  written.  1115  pages,  8vo.  Cloth  $4;  leather,$5; 
morocco,  gilt  edges,  $5.50. 

Drnmmond,  Prof.  Henry  :  Natural  Law  in  the  Spiritual  World  (not  a  "  Spirit- 
istic" book.)  438  pages,  cloth  ;  reduced  from$itosoc.  A  book  for  Material- 
ists, Agnostics,  and  Atheists  to  answer. 

Dupuis,  C.  F.  Origin  of  all  Religious  Worship.  (Synopsis  of  the  Great  Work), 
with  illustration  of  Zodiac  of  Denderah  )    413  pages.    $2. 

Einstein.  Morris:  Origin  and  Development  of  Reliijious  Ideas  and  Beliefs,  as 
manifested  in  history  and  as  seen  by  reason.    Cloth,  $1. 

Emerson,  Ralph  Waldo.     Essays— first  ser  es,  cloth,  30c.:  second  series,  cloth, 
30c    Complete  in  one  volume,  half  morocco,  75c. 
New  England  Reformers,  etc.,  cloth,  75c. 

Feuerbach,  L.:  Essence  of  Religion,  (jod  the  Image  of  Man  ;  Man's  Depend- 
ence on  Nature,  the  Last  and  Onlv  Source  of  Religion.    Cloth,  50  cents. 

Prothingham.O.  B.  The  Safest  Creed,  and  Twelve  Other  Discourses  of  Rea- 
son. •'  The  most  satisfactory  of  anything  of  a  radical  nature  we  have  ever 
read."    338  pages  ;  cloth,  $1. 


Rationalistic  Works — Continued, 


The  Religion  of  Humanity,    mmo,  cloth  extra.    $i.so. 

A  History  of  Trancendentalism  in  New  England.  Octavo,  with  portrait  of 
the  author.  Cloth,  extra,  fa. 50.  '*  Masterly  in  matter,  treatment  and  style." 
-[N.  Y.  Tribune. 
The  Cradle  of  the  Christ.  A  Study  of  Primitive  Christianity.  8vo.,  cloth 
extra.  $1.75.  "Marked  by  all  those  elements  of  strong  intellectuality, 
refined  culture,  mental  honesty,  and  skill  in  argument,  which  are  so  prom- 
inent in  all  h's  previous  works." — [New  Bedford  Mercury. 

Gardener,  Helen  H.  Men,  Women,  aud  Gods.  With  an  introduction  by  Col. 
R.  G.  Irgersoll.    Paper,  50  cents:  cloto,  $1. 

Gibbon,  Edward.  History  of  Christianity.  Cloth,  864  pages.  Many  illustra- 
tions ;  $1.50. 

Graves,  Kersey.  Bible  of  Bibles  ;  or.  Twenty-seven  "  Divine  Revelations." 
Containing  a  description  of  twenty- seven  Bibles,  and  an  exposition  of  two 
thousand  biblical  errors  in  science,  history,  morals,  religion,  and  general 
events.    Cloth,  $1.75. 

Greg,  W.R.  Creed  of  Christiandom.  Its  foundation  contrasted  with  its  super- 
structure.   X99  pages,  $1.50. 

Half-Hours  with  Some  Ancient  and  Modern  Celebrated  Freethinkers :  Thomas 
Hobbs,  Lord  Bolingbroke,  Condorcet,  Spinoza,  Anthony  Collins,  Descartes, 
M.  de  Voltaire,  John  Toland,  Comte  de  Volnev,  Charles  Blount,  Percy 
Bysshe  Shelley,  Claude  A.  Helvetius,  Francis  Wright,  Darusmont,  Zeno, 
Epicurus,  Mathew  Tindal,  David  Hume,  Dr.  Thomas  Burnet,  Thomas 
Paine,  Baptiste  de  Mirabaud,  Baron  de  Holbach,  Robert  Taylor,  Joseph 
Barker.     By  "  Iconoclast,"  Collins,  and  Watts     Cloth,  75c. 

Hogan,  William  [25  years  a  confessing  priest].  Popery  Dissected.  50  cents  ; 
cloth,  75C. 

Janes,  Lewis  G.  A  Study  of  Primitive  Christianity.  Revised  edition.  ^19 
pages;  Svo,  cloth,  gilt-top,  $1.50.  Treats  of  the  natural  evolution  of  the 
Christian  religion,  according  to  the  historical  method. 

Jamieson,  W.  F.  The  Clergy  a  Source  of  Danger  to  the  American  Republic. 
$1.75. 

Jamieson-Ditzler  Debate.    Christianity  and  Liberalism.    50c.;  cloth,  75c. 

Jehovah  Unveiled.   Character  of  Jewish  Deity.  ^50. 

Kelso,  Col.  J.  R.     Real  Blasphemers.     Paper,  50c. 

Lamed,  E.  C.:  A  Critical  Analysis  of  Drummond's  "  Natural  Law  in  the  Spir- 
itual World.  '  Hy  many  thought  to  be  the  best  reply  yet  made  to  Drum- 
mond's able  work.    46  pages,  40c. 

Legge,  James.   The  Religions  of  China.   Confucianism  and  Taoism  described 


and  compared  with  Christianity.    $1.50. 

Lux  Mundi :  Twelve  Essays  by  Eleven  Pr.^niinent  Theological  Writers.  The 
great  theological  sensation  of  the  day  in  England.  The  frank  acceptance 
of  Evolution.  The  ungrudging  concession  to  modern  criticism  of  the  Old 
Testament.    Cloth,  $1.75. 

Mensinga,  P.     Was  Christ  a  God  ?    Conclusions  from  New  Testament.    $1.50. 

Meslier,  Jean.  (A  Roman  Catholic  priest,  who  abjured  religious  dogmas). 
Sup  rstitionin  All  Ages     Paper,  50  cents;  cloth,  $1. 

MuUer,  Max.  Chips  from  a  German  Workshop.  Vol.  i— Essays  on  the  Science 
of  Reliirion.  Vol.  2— h  ssays on  Mythology,  Traditions,  and  Customs.  Vol. 
3— Essays  on  Literature,  Biographies,  and  Antiquities.  Volume  4— Com- 
parative Philology,  Mythology,  etc.  Vol.  5- -On  Freedom,  etc.  Cloth  ;  per 
volume,  $2  ;  set,  $10 

Murray,  Alex.  S. :  Manual  of  Mythology.  With  45  plates  on  tinted  paper,  re- 
presenting nearly  100  my  tholoijical  subjects.    Cloth,  $1.75. 

O'Donoghue,  A.  H.:  Theology  and  Mythology.  An  inquiry  into  the  claims  of 
biblical  inspiration  and  the  supernatural  element  in  religion.    $1. 

Offen,  B.     Legacy  to  Friends  of  Free  Discussion.    $1. 

Oppenheim.Josie    Personal  Immortality  and  Other    Papers.     75c. 

Oswald,  Dr.  Felix  L.     Bible  of  Nature  ;  or,  the  Principles  of  Secularism.    A 
contribution  to  the  religion  of  the  future.    $1. 
Secret  of  the  East.    Origin  of  the  Christian  Religion.    $1. 

Palmer,  S.    Good  Word  for  the  Devil.     Paper,  50c. 

Peeples,  J.  M.    Jesus:   Man,  Myth,  or  God  ?    soc;  cloth,  75c. 

Pedder,H.C.    Issuesof  the  Age.    Modern  Thought.    $1. 

Pillsbury,  Parker.  Ecclesiastical  vs.  Civil  Liberty.  God  in  the  Federal  Con- 
stitution :    Man  and  Woman  Out     Paper,  20c.;  8  copies,  $1. 

Popes  and  Their  Doings.  Account  of  Vicars  of  Christ  and  Vicegerents  of 
God.     50c.;  cloth,  75c. 

Proceedings  and  Addresses  at  the  Watkins  Convention.  Excellent  speeches 
and  essays.    400  pages.    $1. 


Rationalistic  Works  — Continued. 


Radical  Pulpit.    Discourses  of  Advanced  Thought.    By  O.  B.  Frothingham 

and  Felix  Adler.    $i. 

Rawlinson,  Prof.  Geo.    Religions  of  the  Ancient  Wcrld.    $i. 

Reber,  George.    Ch'i  t  of  Paul ;  or,  The  Enigmas  of  Christian'tv.    $2. 
Therapeuta;  and  Essenes.    Origin  of  Christian  Doctrine  and  Scripture.    $i. 

Reade,  Winwood.    The  Martyrdom  of  Man.    545  pages.    Cloth,  ,$1.75. 

Renouf,  P.  LePage.  Origin  and  Growth  of  Religion,  illustratad  by  the  Re- 
ligion of  Ancient  Eg\-pt.     $1  5.1. 

Revile,  Prof.  A.     Ancient  Religions  of  Mexico  and  Peru.    $1.50. 

Rousseau,  Jean  Jacques  uvith  portrait).    The  Vicar  of  Savoy.     Paper,  25  cents; 
cloth,  50c. 
Confessions.     Paper,  75  cts  ;  cloth,  $1.50. 

Salter,  William  M.  Ethical  Religion.  Reconst'-uctive  thought  in  religion  on 
a  rationalistic  and  moral  bass.  Something  to  make  the  mere  iconoclast 
think.  One  of  the  best  works  in  our  rationalistic  literature.  332  pages. 
Cloth,  $1  50. 

Scott,  Thomas.     English  Life  of  Jesus.    $1.50. 

Slenker,  Elmina  D.     Studying  th»^  Bible.    75c. 

Spencer,  Herbert.  Ceremonial  Institutions.  Being  part  4  of  the  Principles  of 
Sociolog\'.    $1.50. 

Stevens,  H.  R.  Fa'thand  Reason.  An  account  of  Christian  and  all  prominent 
religions  before  and  since  Christ.  Extracts  from  sacred  books  of  the 
East     $1.50. 

Strauss,  D.  F.    Old  Faith  and  New.    A  confession.    $150. 

Taylor,  T.  B.     Old  Theology  Turned  Upside  Down,  or  Right  Side  Up.    |i ; 

cloth    $I.2i. 

Taylor,  Rev.  Robert:    Astro-Theological  Lectures.    Allegorical.    $1.50. 
Devil's  Pulpit.    Astro-Theological  Sermons.   $1.50. 
Diegesis.     Origin  and  Earlv  History  of  Christianity.    Portrait.    $2. 
Syntagma  of  the  Evidences  of  the  Christian  Religion.    $1. 
Thirty  Discussions,  Bible  Stories,  Essay.',  andLecture.s.    700  pages.   Paper,  75c. 
Truesdale,  John  W.     Bottom  Facts  of  Spiritualism.    Claims  to  be  a  complete 

exposition  of  so-called  Spiri  ual  Manifestation.    $1.50. 
Underwood,   B.  F.    The  Burgess-Underwood  Debate   "A  f' ur  days'  debate 
between  B.  F.  Underwood  and  Prof.  O.  A.  Burgess,  president  of  the  North- 
western Christian  University,  Indianapolis,  Ind.   Accurately  reported.    188 
pages.   Cloth,  80c  ;  paper,  50c. 
Debate  on  the  Existence  of  a  Personal  God  and  Inspiration  of  Scripture, 

between  B.  F.  Underwood  and  Rev.  J.  Marples.     3sc.;  cloth,  60c. 
Essays  and  Lectures.    Contains  most  of  the  pamphlets  found  under  his 
name,  "Debates  "and  "Twelve  Tracts  "  excepted.    300  pages  ;  60c. 


T 


HE  TWENTIETH  CENTURY  PUBLISHING    COMPANY 


WILL      SfcCND 


Any  Book  on  any  Subject  Published  anywhere 

BY   ANY  PUBLISHER    TO   ANY    ADDRESS 
on  receipt  of  price.         S3^ffV  pay  the  postage  or  expressage. 


FREETHOUGHT    PAMPHLETS. 


Partial  List  of  Freethought  Tracts  and  Pamphlets  published  and 
sold  by  the  Twentieth  Century  Publishing  Company. 

Appleton,  Henry.     What  is  Freedom,  and  When  am  I  Free  ?    Being  an  attempt 

to  put  liberty  on  a  rational  basis.and  wrest  its  keeping  from  irresponsible 

pretenders  in  Church  and  State.     Second  edition.    15c 

Bakounin*-,  Michael.    God  and  the  State.     With  a  preface  by  Carlo  Cafiero 

and  Elisee  Reclus.     Translated  by  Benj .  R  Tucker.    Seventh  edition.   15c. 

Barlow,  W.  S.     Orthodox  Hash,  witn  Change  of  Diet.     loc. 

If',  Then,  and  When.     Church  Doctrines.     loc. 
Birnev,  J.  G.     Churches  the  Bulwarks  of  Slavery.     15c. 
Bradlau^h,  Charles:    A  Plea  for  Atheism,  10  cents. 

Brown,  Dr.  George:    A  Historical  and  Critical  Review  on  the  Sunday  Ques- 
tion, with  Replies  to  an  Objector.     15c. 
Bruno.  Giordano.     His  Life,  Works,  Worth,  Martyrdom  ;  portrait  and  monu- 
ment   Contributors:    George  Jacob  Holyoake,  Thomas  Davidson,  T.  B. 
Wakeman,  Karl  Blind,  Lydia  R.  Chase,  Robt.  G.  IngersoU,  Hudson  Tuttle, 
etc.    Two  pamphlets,  15c.  each. 
Chronicles  of  Simon  Christianus.    His  manifold  and  wonderful  adventures  in 
the  land  of  Cosmos.    A  new  scripture  (evidently  inspired)  discovered   by 
I   N.  Fidel.     From  the  English      Very  rich.    25  cents. 
Farrington,  M.     Sabbath.    The  Sunday  Question.     loc. 
Gium bine.  Rev.  I.  C.  F.     Evolution  and  Christianitv.     A  Study.    25c. 
Helvetius;  or.  The  True  Meaning  of  the-  System  of  Nature.    Clo.h,  20  cents. 
Hertwig,  J.  G.:    Sunday  Laws:.    loc. 

Holland,  F.  M.-   Atheists  and  Agnostics;  a  protest  against  their  disabilities  be- 
fore the  law.     A  lecture  before  the  IngersoU  Secular  Society.    5c. 
Holvoake.  George  Jacob.    What  Would  Follow  on  the  Effacement  of  Chris- 
tianitv.    lOC. 
Logic  of  Death,     loc.        Logic  of  Life.     loc. 
Hume,  David  :    Essay  on  Miracles.     10  cents. 

Inger.soll,  Robert  G.:    Bib'e  Idolatry.    3  cents  ;  30  cents  per  dozen,  $2  per  100. 
What  Must  \Ve  Do  to  be  Saved?    12m  •,  paper,  25c. 

Address  on  Civil  Rights.     Paper.  10  cents.        Orthodoxy.    Paper,  10  cents. 
Blasphemy  Argument  (.Trial  of  Reynolds.)  Paper,  25  cents  ;  cloth,  50  cents. 
Cnme-i  Against  Criminals  (his  latest  address.)    Paper,  10  cents. 
IngersoU  Catechized.      Answers  to  Questions  by  Editor  "San  Franciscan." 

3  cents  ;  30 cents  per  dozen. 
Inger.-ioU  on  McGlynn.    3  cents  ;  3octs.  per  dozen;  $2  per  hundred. 
Lay  Sermon.     Delivered  before  the  tenth  annual  congress  of  the  American 

Secular  Union,  on  the  labor  question.   5c.;  50c  per  dozen  ;  25  'or  $1. 
Limitations  of  Toleration.     A  discussion  betwten  Col.  Robert  G.  IngersoU, 

Hod.  Frederic  R.  Condert,  ex  G  <vernor  Stewart  L.  Woodford.    25c. 
Paine  Vmdicated.    Reply  to  the  New  York  "Observer."    i?  cents. 
Pnotograph  (cabinet)  of.    50  cents. 
Truth  of  History.    3c.;  30c  per  dozen  ;  $2  per  100. 
Which  Way.     Lecture  at  the  Boston  Theatre,  Sunday  evening,  January  18, 

1885.     Paper,  5c. 
Crumbling  Creeds.    3  cents.        Human  Rights.    5c. 
Plea  for  Individuality  and  Arraignment  of  the  Church.    5c. 
The  Personal  Philosopher  of  Reason— Humboldt.    5c. 
Personal  Deism  Denied.     5c.         The  Declaration  of  Independence.    5c. 
Life  and  Deeds  of  Thomas  Paine.    5c.        Past  and  Present  Gods.    5c. 
Modern  Thinkers.    5c.        Views  of  the  Religious  Outlook.    5c. 
Some  keasons  Why.    5c.        The  Great  Infidels.    5c. 
Review  of  His  Reviewers.    5c.        Oration  on  Decoration  Day.     5c. 
Oration  at  a  Child's  Grave,  with  comment  on  the  oration  ;  and  answers  to  in- 
terrogatories of  eminent  Indiana  clergymen.    5c. 
Myth  and  Miracle.    5c.        Abraham  Lincoln.    5c. 
Eulogy  on  Roscoe  Conkling.    5c.        Skulls.    5c.        Hell.    5c. 
Geister.     A  German  translation  of  Ghosts.     loc. 
[A  list  of  the  larger  works  of  Col.  IngersoU  appears  on  another  page.] 
Jacobson,  A.:    Bible  Inquirer.     148  itriKing   seltcontradictiops  of  the  Bible, 
and  152  marvelous  occurrences.    25  cents. 


Freethought  PAMrm-Ki  s. — Continued. 


Jones,  Alonzo  T.  Civil  Government  and  Religion,  or  Christianity  and  the 
American  Constitution.    250. 

Jeflferson,  Thomas,  the  Father  of  American  Democracy  :  His  Political,  Social, 
and  Religious  Philoiophy,  by  Gen.  M.  M.  Trumbull.    5CC. 

Lenstrand,  Viktor.  The  God  Idea.  For  delivering  thi.s  lecture  the  author  was 
sentenced  to  six  months'  imprisonment  for  blasphemy  in  Sweden.  Trans- 
lated from  the  Swedish,  with  an  introduction  bV  J.  M.  Wheeler.     loc. 

Luce,  H.  C.     Antidote  Analyzed.     Inconsistency  of  Christians.     loc. 

Lyall,  A.  C.     Relation  of  Witchcraft  to  Religion.     15c. 

Muller,  Max:    Buddhist  Nihilism.     10 cents. 

Newman,  Prof.  F.  W.    Religion  not  History.    25c. 

Nibble  at  Prof.  John  Fiske's  Crumb  for  the  Modern  Symposium      loc. 

Paine,  Testimonials  to  ;  author  of  Common  Sense,  The  Crisis,  Rights  of  Man, 
English  System  of  Finance,  Age  of  Reason,  etc.  Compiled  by  Toseph  N. 
Moreau.     15  cents. 

Peck,  J.     Soul  Problems.    Theological  Amendment.    25c. 

Pellegrini,  A.  S.  de.  Mortality  of  the  Soul,  and  the  Immortality  of  its  Ele- 
ments.    2SC. 

Ptolemy,  G.  W.  Bar.    The  Origin  of  Priestcraft,  or  Religion  the  Curse  of  the 

World.    25C. 
Priest  in  Absolution.    Criticism  and  Denunciation  of  the  Confessional.    25c. 
Pringle,  A.    The  "  Mail's"  Theology.    Reply  to  the  Toronto  "  Mail."    150. 

Ingersoll  in  Canada.    15c. 
Public  School  Question.    By  Bishop  McQuade  and  F.  E.  Abbott.    (Catholic 

and  Liberal.)    20c. 
Putnam,  S.  P.     Problem  of  the  Universe  and  Its  Scientific  Solution.    Criti- 
cisms of  Universology.    20c.        New  God.     IOC. 
Pentecost,  Htigh  O. :  Wanted— Men  Willing  to  Work  for  a  Living.    3c. 

Why  I  am  Not  an  Agnostic.    3c.       How  the  Church  Obstructs  Progress.    3c. 

A  Bad  God  and  a  False  Heaven.    3c.        Thomas  Paine.    3c. 

The  Presbyterian  Dilemma.    3c.        Calvin's  God  or  None.    3c. 

The  Freethinkers'  Deathbed.    3c. 

The  Evil  the  Church  Does.    3c.       A  Helpless  God.    3c. 


The  Rag  Picker  of   Paris. 

By    KELIX     F'YAX. 

"Better  than  I,"  wrote  Victor  Hugo  to  Felix  Pyat,  "you  have  proved  the 
royalty  of  genius  and  the  divinity  of  love.''  Paper,  50  cents.    Cloth,  $1. 

Caesar's     Column. 

A    STORY    OF    THE    TWENTIETH    CENTURY. 

By  EDMUND  BOISGILBERT,  M.  D. 
Paper,  50  cents.     |  |     Cloth,  li.as. 


WORKS    OK 


P.    J.    PROUDHON 

Iranslated   by  Benj.  R.  Tucker. 


"  The  face  which  looks  out  from  the  page  which 
fronts  the  title-page  of  this  book  is  that  of  a  powerful 
intellect  filled  with  immense  emotion;  is  that  of  a  seer 
and  enthusiast.  It  is  the  face  of  the  man  who  wrote, 
Property  is  Robbbry."— /"A*  Golden  RuU. 


Vol.  I— what    IS    PROPERTY  ? 

or  an  Inquiry  into  the  Principle  of  Right  and  of  Government. 

Prefaced  by  a  Sketch  of  Proudhon's  Life  and  Works.    500  pages.   Price,  cloth, 
$3.50 ;  full  calf,  blue,  gilt  edges,  $6.50. 


Vol.  4. 


System  of  Economic  Contradictions; 

or,  The  Philosophy  of  Misery. 

This  work  is  one  of  the  most  celebrated  written  by  Proudhon.    469  pages. 
Price,  cloth,  $3.50 ;  full  calf,  blue,  gilt  edges,  $6.50. 

Address  Twentieth    Century   Pub'g  Co.,    4  "Warren  street,  New  Vork. 


A  Strike  of  Millionaires 

AGAINST     MINERS  ; 


THE    ••  STORY   ••  OF   ••  SPRING    ••  VALLEY 

By    HENRY    D.     LLOYD, 


This  book  tells  how  the  Spring  Valley  miners  were 
starved  into  actual  slavery.  It  is  the  story  of  a  mon- 
strous and  inhuman  crime.  It  deals  not  with  theories 
but  with  facts,  figures  and  names. 

IT    IS    A    POWERFUL    AND    PATHETIC    BOOK. 


264  Pages.     Paper,  50  cents;   cloth,  $1.     Sent  post-paid  to  any 
address  on  receipt  of  price,  by 


Twentieth  Century  Publishing  Co.,  New  York. 


Robert  G.  Ingersoll's 

WRITINOS. 


Jf 


-mr 


OKLY     AUTHORIZED      EDITIONS. 

Vol.  I — The  Gods  and  Other  Lectures.     i2mo,  cloth,  Si. 25  ;  paper, 

50  cents. 
Vol.  2 — The  Ghosts   and    Other   Lectures.      i2mo,    cloth,    $1.25  ; 

paper,  50  cents. 
Vol.  3 — Some  Mistakes  of  Moses.     i2mo,  278  pages.     Cloth,  $1.25  ; 

paper,  50  cents. 
Vol.  4 — Ingersoll    on    Talmagian    Theology  (new).     443   pages 

Cloth,  $1.25  ;  paper,  50  cents. 
What  Must  We  Do  to  be  Saved?     i2mo,  paper,  25  cents. 
Address  on  Civil  Rights.     Paper,  10  cents. 
Orthodoxy.     Paper,  10  cents. 
Blasphemy  Argument  (Trial  of  Reynolds.)     Paper,  25  cents  ;  cloth, 

50  cents. 
Crimes  Against  Criminals  (his  latest  address.)     Paper,  10  cents. 

INGERSOLL'S  LECTURES  COMPLETE 

in  one  volume      Half  morocco.     Over  1300  pages,  $5. 
Prose  Poems  and  Selections.     With  an  elegant  full-page  steel  por- 
trait.    Highest  possible  style  and  print,  silk  cloth,  beveled  edges, 
gilt  back  and  sides,  $2.50. 

t^"  Address  Twentieth  Century,  4  Warren  street.  New  York. 


A.      NEW      EDITION 


Voltaire  s     Romances 


Translated  from  the  French,     Complete  in  one  volume. 

WITH    NUMEROUS    ILLUSTRATIONS, 

including  three  authenticated  Portraits  of  the  author. 


A  handsome  volume  of  448  pages,  printed  on  fine  laid  paf>er,  and 
•with  the  best  modern  presswork.  Bound  in  cloth  and  half  calf, 
library  style  ;  67  engjavings.  Price,  cloth,  $1.50  ;  half  calf  or  half 
morocco,  marbled  edges,  S4  ;  paper,  $1. 


A.clciress 


TWENTIETH    CENTURY    PUBLISHING   CO., 
•4    W'arren     street.    New     York. 


THE     DAWNING. 

13y  J,  TVl.    1^.    Baiscock. 

An  Economic  Novel  that  is— what  the  usual  run  of  economic  novels  is  not 
a  veritable  novel ;  and  that  is  at  the  same  time  a  dissection  of  social  conditions, 
present  and  prospective.     Price  in  paper,  50  cents  ;  cloth,  $1. 

Highly  coiiiinencle<l  by  Hugh  <).  Pentecost. 


Ideo- Kleptomania  : 

THE     CASE     OF     HENRY     CxEORGE. 

By    J.     W^.     Svilllvan. 

The  author  offers  evidence  to  show  that  Henry  George  took  his  doctrine.s 
bodily  from  the  works  of  Patrick  Edward  Dove,  and  that  "  Progress  and  Pov- 
erty "  is  largely  an  appropriation  without  credit  of  the  ideas  of  Dove,  William 
Godwin,  Herbert  Spencer  and  other  economists. 

With  Henry  George's  denial  of  plagiarism,  complete. 

One  Hundred  Pages.      15  cents. 


HTHE    VERY    LATEST    ON    PHILOSOPHICAL    ANARCHISM. 

Economics  of   Anarchy  : 

A  Study  of  the  Industrial  Type.       By  DYER  D.   LUM. 

CONXENT^ : 

1.  Fundamental  Principles.     2.  Free  Land.     3.  Free  Labor.     4.  Free  Capital. 
5.  Free  Exchange.  6.  Mutual  Credit.  7.  Emancipation  of  Credit. 

8.  Industrial  Economics,    u.  Insurance,  or  Security.    10.  Digression  on  Methods. 
PRICE,     25    CENTS. 


PCONOMIC.    SOCIOLOGICAL,    SCIENTIFIC. 

Liberal    and    Radical    Books. 
TWENTIETH    CENTURY    PUBLISHING    CO., 

NEW^      YORK. 


The  Modern  Science  Essayist 


FIRST  SERIES. 

1.  Herbert  Spencer :  His  life,  writings, 

and  philosophy.      By  Mr.  Daniel 
Greenleaf  Thompson. 

2.  Charles  Robert  Darwin:    His  life, 

works,   and   influence.     By   Eev. 
John  W.  Chadwick. 

3.  Solar    and    Planetary    Evolution: 

How  suns  and  worlds  come  into 
being.  By  Mr.  Garrett  P.  Serviss. 

4.  Evolution  of  the  Earth.     The  story 

of  geology.      Bj^  Dr.  Lewis  G. 
Janes. 

5.  Evolution  of  Vegetal  Life.     How 

Life   begins.      By   Mr.  AVilliam 
Potts. 

6.  Evolution  of   Animal   Life.      The 

order  of  zoological  evolution.  By 
Dr.  Eossiter  W.  Eaymond. 

7.  The  Descent  of  Man:    His  origin, 

antiquitj',  and  growth.     By  E.  D. 
Cope,  Ph.  D. 

8.  Evolution  of  ihe  Mind.    By  Eobert 

a.  Eccles,  M.  D. 

9.  Evolution  of  Society.    By  James 

A.  Skilton. 

10.  Evolution  of    Theology.      By    Z. 

Sidney  Sampson. 

11.  Evolution  of  Morals.  By  Dr.  Lewis 

G.  Janes. 

12.  Proofs  of  Evolution.      By  Nelson 

C.  Parshall. 

13.  Evolution  as  Eelated  to   Religious 

Thought.   By  John  W.  Cliadwlck. 

14.  The  Philosophy  of  Evolution:    its 

relation    to    prevailing    systems. 
By  Starr  Hoyt  Nichols. 

15.  The  Efiects  of  Evolution  on  the 

Coming  Civilization.    By   Minot 
J.  Savage. 

SINGLE  KUHBBRS   10  CENTS   BACH. 

One  volume,  fine  cloth,  408  pages.  Illustrat- 
ed.   Complete  index.     $3  post-paid. 

"Extremely  entcrtaininfrand  instruct- 
ive  the  book  is  especially  intended 

to  spread  a  knowledge  of  the  views  of  the 
masters  of  the  evolution  theory,  making 
a  smooth,  even  path  for  the  ordinary 
mind  to  move  forward  on,  so  that  tlie 
general  comprehension  of  the  subject 
m»y  be  made  eaay."— [Brooklyn  Citizen. 


SECOND  SERIES. 

The  Scope  and  Principles  of  the 
Evolution  Philosophy.  By  Lewia 
G.  Janes. 

The  Moral  and  Eeligious  Aspects 

of  Herbert  Spencer's  Philosophy. 

By  Sylvan  Drey. 
The  Relativity  of  Knowledge.    By 

Robert  G.  Eccles,  M.  D. 
A  Study  of  Matter  and    Motion. 

By  Hon.  A.  N.  Adams. 

Piimitive    Man.      By    Z.   Sidney 

Sampson. 

The  Growth  of  the  Marriage  Re- 
lation.    By  C.  Staniland  Wake. 

The  Evolution  of  the  State.  By 
John  A.  Taylor. 

The  Evolution  of  Law.  By  Rufus 
Sheldon. 

Evolution  of  Medical  Science.  By 
Robert  G.  Eccles,  M.  D. 

Evolution  of  Arms  and  Armor.  By 
Rev.  John  C  Kimball. 

Evolution  of  the  Mechanic  Arts. 
By  James  A.  Skilton. 

Education  as  a  Factor  in  Civiliza- 
tion. By  Miss  Caroline  B.  Le 
RovA-. 

Evolution   of  the  Wages  System. 

By  Prof.  George  Guntou. 
The  Theological  Method.    By  Rev. 

John  W.  Chadwick. 


By  Wil- 


The  Socialistic  Method. 
Ham  Potts. 

The  Anarchistic  Method.  By  Hugh 
O.  Pentecost. 

The  Scientific  Method.     By  Daniel 
Greotileaf  Thompson. 

Edward  Livingston  Youmans.     By 

Prof.  John  Fi^ke. 
Asa  Gray.     By  Mrs  Mary  Treat. 


10  Cents  Hlaoli. 


TWENTIETH   CENTURY  PUBLISHING   CO..  New  York  City. 


The   Liberal   Classics. 


GIBBON. 


History    of  Christianity. 

By  Edward  Gibbon.     One  vol. ,  i2mo. ,  cloth,  864  pp. ,  profusely  illus- 
trated, $1.50. 

Tlrie     Vicar    of    Savoy. 

By  Jean  Jacques  Rousseau,  with  portrait.     Paper  cover,  25  cents: 
cloth,  50  cents. 

Clnristian     !Parad.ox:es. 

By  Francis  Bacon,  10  ••ots. 

Stjperstition     in     all    Ages. 

By  Jean   Meslier,  an   unbelieving  Monk.     Paper  cover,  50  cents; 

cloth,  $1.00. 

Volney*s     Ruins    of    E^mpires. 

With  portrait  and  map  of  Astrological  Heaven  of  the  Ancients  (in 
press).     Paper,  40  cents  ;  cloth,  75  cents. 


Works  of  Thomas   Paine. 


Age  of  Reason.    Paper,  25c  ;  cloth,  50c. 

Age  of  Reason  and  Examination  of  the  Prophe- 
cies.   Paper,  40c  ;  cloth,  75c. 

Common  Sense.     Written  in  1776.     15c. 

Crisis.  Written  during  American  Revolution. 
Paper,  40c  ;  cloth,  75c. 

Great  Works.  8vo,  800  pages.  Cloth,  $3;  leather, 
$4  ;  morocco,  gilt  edges,  $4.50. 

Political  Works:  ''Common  Sense,"  "Crisis," 
"  Rights  of  Man."    Cloth,  $1.50. 

Rights  of  Man.  Answer  to  Burke's  Attack  on 
French  Revolution.    Paper,  25c  ;  cloth,  500. 

Theological  Works:  "  Age  of  Reason,"  "  Exami- 
nation of  Prophecies,"  etc.,  with  Life  of  Paine  and 
steel  portrait,  $1  50. 

Paine  Vindicated.  Reply  to  New  York  Observer. 
By  R.  G.  Ingersoll.  With  Roman  Catholic  canard, 
ISC 


SUPERSTITION  IN  ALL  AGES. 


JEAN     MKSLIKR, 

AN    UNBELIEVING    PRIEST. 

339  Pages.     F»aper,    50c.;    Cloth,  $1. 

Glaube  und  Vernunft,"  the  above  work  in  German.     Cloth,  $i. 


Twentieth  Century  Publishing  Company, 


New    York    City. 


"  The  Twentieth  Century  Publishing  Company  will  send  any 
book  on  any  subject,  published  anywhere,  by  any  publisher,  to  any 
address  on  receipt  of  price.      /I  V  pay  the  postage  or  expressage. 


M 


